Author's Note- Hey everyone, I got the idea for today's story from a couple of sources. The first was a news article that talked about how many new immigrants to the United States are surprised by the fact that everyone doesn't live like the people in the sitcoms. Then I have a friend's young child talk about how they were convinced that many aspects of the movie National Treasure were completely true. Finally, I was playing a late night round of Secret Passages on my Ipad. Suddenly thus gem popped up. Hopefully you all will find it entertaining, but before we get to that thank you so much to Miyazaki, Hare787, Melza-chan, saoirsewolf, and BloodLily16 for reviewing. Your little messages really do help keep me motivated.
Disclaimer- I do not own Hetalia…or Apple…or Secret Passages, Hollywood, or any of the strange things you can find in the basement of the Nation's Capital Building.
Secret Passages
The US states often found the reactions of various nations to life in America to be pretty funny. It wasn't that they didn't know anything, it was more that many of the countries seemed to be convinced that they average American lived a life that a combination of Texas Lone Star, ET, and Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. It was pretty silly that United States of America had spent billions of dollars on soft power around the globe, but the one type of soft power that people actually seemed to latch onto wasn't controlled by Washington D.C. Instead it was driven by the fads going on in Hollywood.
Several of the states had learned to take advantage of other nations naivety when it came to local culture in customs. In fact, a few of them had become quite the story tellers easily interweaving fact with fiction, reality with the fantasy created on the silver screen. Whenever there was a world meeting in DC and the states were dragged in to help host there would always been a few of them who took full advantage of the situation to help them practice their skills. This afternoon the happen to find a nation who happened to be particularly gullible.
"Feliciano?"
"Yes?" Northern Italy looked up into the doe like eyes of the state's secret weapon. "You are one of America's states aren't you?"
"Yes…do you want to play?" Shy North Dakota asked quietly while staring at his shoes.
"I should really be finishing up these forms or Germany will be mad…" As Italy spoke, North Dakota hung his head his mouth tightened as though the state was about to burst into tears. "But I guess wouldn't hurt to take a little bit of a break. What would you like to play?"
"I don't know yet." North Dakota allowed a ghost of a smile to grace his lips as he looked fully at Italy's face, but he then looked quickly away. Allowing "Sis, what do you think that we should do?"
"That is a good question." South Dakota said thoughtfully as she made her way over to the table.
"Well, we could always explore the Secret Passages." South Carolina voice was chipper as he made the suggestion from across the room.
"Secret Passages?" Italy asked, his eyes widening in confusion.
"You haven't heard of the Secret Passages?" North Carolina brought her hand to her mouth as though she was distressed by Italy's question and hurriedly joined the group of states beginning to surround the foreign nation.
"No, I haven't what are they?" Italy pushed.
"If you don't know what they are already, I don't know if we are allowed to tell you." South Dakota admitted.
"But I really want to know." The European nation practically begged.
"I don't know…" South Dakota stated to repeated again, but was interrupted.
"Give us a moment." North Carolina said chewing on her lip.
The four states created a huddle just outside of Italy's ear shot. Then they spent a whole ten minutes in hushed conversation. Every once in a while he could hear the whispering crescendo a bit and a state or two would glance over at him. During this Italy could barely keep himself still as his nerves built. Then the huddle broke with smiles on the states faces.
"Alright, we are all in agreement." South Carolina returned to Italy's table, head held high, but voice hushed. "We are going to show you the Secret Passages, but you are not going to promise that you will not tell anyone who showed them to you, not even Germany."
"Do you promise?" North Dakota asked hopefully.
"I promise." Italy said sincerely, unfortunate the nation didn't notice the almost predatory grin that the states were currently giving him.
The responsibility of hosting world meetings was a fairly stressful. The host nation had to make sure that all the attending nation's needs were met. From food to housing and entertainment, America was grateful to have a gaggle of states to keep track of everything. This was especially true with the current political situation.
Instead of having to just worry about making sure that Israel didn't bump into a group of Middle Eastern countries without someone strong enough to keep the two sides from dissolving into a fist fight and making sure that China and Taiwan didn't stay in the same hotel, America had a whole new list of conflicts to deal with. Now he had to find a diplomatic way to convince China not to antagonize several of his southern neighbors, as well as prevent Russia from bullying many of his. In the end, the only solution that America had been able to come up with was to have Ukraine, Poland, and the Baltics stay at his home during this particular meeting. The superpower knew he was going to get flack from Russia about it, but if America could solve the world's problems he was at least going to do his best to help his allies feel safe.
They were only two days into a weeklong conference, and America would openly admit (to anyone who wasn't Russia, North Korea, or Cuba that is) that he was exhausted, but he had managed to prevent any major diplomatic incidents…that was until Virginia had received a phone call on the little red phone that she carried around for emergencies. An unexpected call on that phone usually met bad things and the way that the state's lips thinned to a pale line as she listened to the person on the other side of the connection only confirmed America's suspicions that something had gone terribly wrong with the conference.
"Alright, I will take care of it. Thank you for letting me know?" Virginia hung up the phone and gave her head a shake of disbelief.
"I know that look." America sighed and put his coffee mug back down on his heavy wood desk. "What have the states done this time?"
"It appears that they sent one of the nations on a wild goose chase through the tunnels of the Capital Building."
"Did they at least find something interesting during their adventures?" America asked one eyebrow raised.
"Well they did find the marble bathtubs in the basement of said Capital Building…"
"They didn't?"
"Yep, and apparently the Dakotas and Carolinas managed to convince Northern Italy that they were haunted and that the ghost will try to drown he whenever he next takes a bath." America had absolutely no idea how Virginia managed to keep her voice matter of fact as she relayed this piece of information. Then the full magnitude of the problem hit him like a sack of potatoes.
"Isn't Italy currently staying at the St. Regis?" A feeling of dread was beginning to form at the bottom of his stomach.
"Yep."
"Does his particular room have a standalone shower?" The nation asked the last glimmers of hope quickly fading away.
"Nope." Virginia spoke with the finality of a hammer and America knew he was doomed.
"Germany is going to kill me."
"Don't worry it won't take too much to have a few of the Europeans swap with a group of the South American nations at the Dupont Circle Hotel and made sure both Italy and Germany have been placed in adjoin suites, both of which lack tubs." The state was clearly trying to keep a straight face, and failing. She obviously thought the situation was incredibly funny. "That should give you at least three days to figure out how to unscarred Northern Italy, before he heads back home and has a panic attack every time he has to enter his was room."
"Virginia, I both love you and hate you at the same time." The nation said sarcastically as he stuck out his tongue in the direction of his state/secretary.
"I know dear." The Old Dominion smirked up at him. "Now, we have wasted enough time on this particular issue, would you mind passing me that stack of agendas? We are really going to need to get started stapling these forms together if they are going to be ready for the meeting this afternoon."
End Note- America is so doomed when Germany finds out; also there are really some random marble bathtubs in the basement of the Nation's Capital Building. If you don't believe me go and google it.