Author's Note-So I ran into a little bit of writers block on this story, but a recent story on NPR solved that problem for me. It was talking about foreign language learning in the U.S.,the various states that don't require it, and why some members of government think that that is a bad thing. As I was listening to the experts talk I couldn't help but hear the various states whining about America insisting that they should all be bilingual. The states that appear in this post are all ones that have been particularly struggling with foreign language in schools. But before we get to the fun thanks to EverythingMath, Silver Crossbow, BloodLily16, , and guest for being wonderful reviewers. Thanks a ton.

Disclaimer- I do not own Hetalia, or Apple, or anything that comes from Google…though I will plead guilty to using Google Translate to translate phrases for a few of my stories.

Google Translate

World liked to think of America as a strong but fairly oblivious nation. It wasn't too uncommon for nations to make poorly hidden insults him to his face only to call on later to help them get out a particularly sticky bind. Most of the time America tried to ignore what was being said about him, smiling broadly and talking loudly at world meetings in order to hid the fact that the barb like comments that even his allies made about him really did hurt.

But occasionally, one of the hurtful comments really stuck. The most recent example of this had occurred in the last world meeting. Several European and Asian countries had gotten up and spoken about how successful their language educations had become. Bilingual citizens were increasing at an exponential rate. America was really happy for his fellow countries, because more educated people in the world make the planet a better place but part way through China talk the nation had turned and pointed out that America language education was in steep decline.

The meeting had rapidly digressed into a mudslinging fest with most of the snider comments being directed towards America. He was able to keep his mouth shut for most of it, but when Canada made the comment that perhaps he was too reliant on English he almost snapped. When the meeting cooled down, America sent a text to Virginia so he could use her phone call as an excuse the leave the conference a day early. America had packed up his hotel room and Virginia, bless her soul, had already moved his flight info. By the time he landed he already had a plan, which or course meant it was time to call his states to a meeting.

"…after looking at everything go on in the world I really think that it is important that we work on increasing the number of Americans who are fluent in at least two

"So you want us all to be like Alaska." Sarcasm practically dripped from Ohio's voice.

"Ohio!" Pennsylvania practically hissed.

"What?" The Buckeye State countered. "Don't you think that having 21 official languages is kind of ridiculous?"

"True 21 official languages would probably overkill for most of you, but is still important for you to at least be bilingual. Just think of how many of your citizens currently can't speak English, how would you speak to them in an emergency."

"I would use Google Translate." Illinois shrugged.

"And I am going to show you why that is a "Give me a phrase?"

"What?"

"I need a random phrase to throw into Bad Translator so that I can prove to you learning languages is still useful."

"I still don't get why…" Illinois started before being interrupted.

"I am a flaming pineapple of death!" Kansas said with a completely straight face.

"Where did that come from?" Texas stifled down a giggle.

"It was the first phrase in French that Ontario taught to me."

"And why was Ontario teaching you French?" South Dakota asked.

"So that I could tease Louisiana and Quebec in two languages instead of one."

"Okay, 'I am a flaming pineapple of death!' it is." America said with a shrug as he typed it into the Bad Translator website. After a few minutes a final translation was spit out and the nation spun the computer screen around so that his states could see it. "Look, after only 8 translations through Google Translate we went from 'I am a flaming pineapple of death!' to 'The I mierci religious gorzejcym!' Now can you imagine how much chaos that type of translation error would cause if we were trying to use this kind of App during a natural disaster for example?"

"I still don't see why this is a reason everyone needs to learn a second language." Minnesota muttered under their breath.

"Because it is important that we are able to communicate with the rest of the world. Our country is the world's most important nation. Everyone else is relying on us to make the scientific breakthrough. We are a critical driving cog in the global economy; we are the keepers of the peace, and a beacon of hope. This role brings massive responsibility one of the greatest being to teach the rest of the world about the wondrous discoveries we find and how can we expect to share these discoveries in a meaningful way if we cannot share in their own languages. It is not enough for us to try to use technology to translate our message to the rest of the world, a good translation takes a human dimension. And it is this human dimension to translation that so many of your sibling states have begun to develop and I hope that you also will gain an appreciation for." America was prepared to speak more on the subject but one of his states was waving their hands in the air excitedly. "Yes, West Virginia?"

"Oh, I have the perfect solution." The state said with a grin. "I will get one of other states to translate everything for me!"

End Note- Je suis un ananas flammes de la mort!