Let Me Love You
Chapter Twenty Three
Bella had met up with me in her room after she had found the album she had wanted to borrow. I put on a CD of my own to listen to while we made some small talk. Things had started to get quiet as we just listened to it, taking it in. Well, she was listening to it. I couldn't seem to stop staring at her, taking her in as if she would vanish before me at any time. I began studying every detail of her, still not being able to get used to how beautiful she was every time I saw her. How could one creature alone be so stunning? I still couldn't believe it, even though it looked me in the face almost everyday, everyday that I could lay my eyes on her.
I then noticed that her features turned guilty for some reason, as nervousness followed its lead as she looked like she was thinking very hard on something. Before I could stop myself, I asked, "What's wrong Bella? You look like you're going to have a vain pop out of your head if you think any harder."
I tried easing the alertness of my sudden question with a joke, not wanting to seem too nosy or give away the fact that I had been staring at her for the past half hour straight without a blink in-between.
Thankfully her chuckle informed me that she hadn't noticed. "Sorry, I just…have a lot on my mind right now."
Then the guilt seemed to have come back as she thought about something. I immediately became concerned but a little confused at the same time, but I the subject go when I heard my sister's thoughts yelling at me back at home. "Well, I better get going. Jasper is out hunting and Alice threatened to castrate me if I wouldn't let her show me her new clothes, and accessories, and what not." She giggled, but burst out in full laughter when she realized I was dead serious about what I said. "Hey, this is not funny, I'm serious." I complained, but it sounded more like a whine. That just caused her to clutch her sides as she found the situation even funnier. "Fine, don't care about me. And here I thought we were best friends or something." I faked annoyance.
She managed to calm herself with only a humorous chuckle now. "Aww, don't be like that, you know I love you." She hugged me.
I stiffened as soon as the three word phrase left her lips, but I put on a forced smile when she pulled away to look at me. "Yeah." But are you in-love with me?
I couldn't meet her chocolate brown gaze as I looked anywhere but her.
"Well I uh…better go."
She nodded, "Okay." I walked out and I knew she was following me as I heard her quiet footsteps behind me. When we got to the door and I stopped, turning to look at her for the first time for the last couple minutes.
"Bye." I said, and what I did next shocked me more then it probably shocked her, but I didn't think about it as I hesitantly bent down and kissed her on the cheek. It lingered for a few moments too long but what the hell? Not like it mattered anymore when I jumped off the cliff into the danger zone. I pulled away and looked at her closed eyes flutter open before I ran like the coward I was, not wanting to hear a response from her about what I'd just done. She probably caught on to my feelings and thought I was a loser way out of her league by now.
By the time I reached my door, it started pouring. What luck?
I was going to head straight up to my room when a certain pixie decided to open her big mouth. "Guess what?"
I internally groaned. "Damn it." I hissed under my breath, then turned back to glare at my 'sister'. "What?"
"Something's gonna happen," she sang, tapping her temple to let me know she had a vision and I immediately found my whole attention was directed at her, "and I'm not gonna tell you." Call me pissed, but that didn't seem to cover my mood when I tried to read her thoughts to find out, only to come up with a blank; she blocked it.
"Alice." I growled. Why does she do this to me? Is her entire existence just set on angering and annoying me to the point where I feel the urge to strangle the no-longer-there-life out of her? "What the hell was the point in telling me that?"
"Iunno" she shrugged. "Just like to see your reaction sometimes, it can be quite entertaining when there's nothing to watch on TV." She giggled, oblivious to my death stare.
"Well, if that's all-" I turned to leave and go to the destination of my room like I indented to do in the first place.
"NO! Wait!" I only crooked my head to the side to raise my eyebrow at her, expectantly. "You still have to see my new clothes. Oh my god, I got the cutest Marciano dress-" groaning out loud this time, I cursed at myself for getting stuck in this situation, before unwillingly walking towards Alice's room.
Bella's POV
Edward and I were now sitting in my room just relaxing, listening to a new CD Edward had wanted to get for the last couple weeks. Well, he was listening to it. I couldn't seem to get my mind off of the disc sitting in my purse.
Although guilt poured out of my emotions from the thought that I had taken something that Edward probably didn't want to share with anyone, let alone me, I couldn't help the wonders running through my mind at the prospects of what was on it. Or even what was on the sheets. A song was on it, I knew that much, but what kind of song? What was the song about? Did it have lyrics? I couldn't seem to stop the constant questions arising, and it clearly showed on my face as Edward asked, "What's wrong Bella? You look like you're going to have a vain pop out of your head if you think any harder."
The sound of his chuckle from his little joke brought me to my senses as I cleared my mind, laughing along with him. "Sorry, I just…have a lot on my mind right now." It wasn't the complete truth but it wasn't a lie either.
Oh great, now I'm not being completely honest with him. More guilt was added to my conscience. What is wrong with me? We share everything with each other.
Edward must have caught my expression when I noticed he gave me a confused and a slightly concerned look. "Well, I better get going. Jasper is out hunting and Alice threatened to castrate me if I wouldn't let her show me her new clothes, and accessories, and what not." I giggled, but burst out in full laughter when I realized he had a fully serious face. "Hey, this is not funny, I'm serious." He whined. That just caused me to start choking on my own laughter. "Fine, don't care about me. And here I thought we were best friends or something." He pouted.
I forced myself to calm down my laughter into a humorous chuckle. "Aww, don't be like that, you know I love you." I hugged him jokingly on fake comport.
At this, he stiffened but put on a tight, forced smile when I pulled away to look at his face. "Yeah."
I studied his face as he looked anywhere but my eyes, trying to figure out what was wrong, but I couldn't find anything.
"Well I uh…better go."
I nodded, "Okay." I let him walk out as I followed him until we got to the door and he stopped to face me.
"Bye." He said, and what he did next shocked me. He slowly bent down and kissed me lightly on the cheek, it lingering for a few moments, before looking at me with half lidded eyes under his eyelashes, and turned away running at lightning speed back to his house.
I just stood there, not knowing what to do. A tingling feeling was left behind and I slowly brought my hand up to touch it, pretending to think that it could be something still touching it. He'd never done that before, I realized for the first time.
A boom of thunder brought me out of my daze as it started pouring down hard. I gently closed the door behind me before walking back up to my room.
When I got there, as soon as I closed the door, I pressed my back to it and slid down it. What's going on with us?
My eyes then landed on my bag I'd through down by the door and I remembered the CD and the sheet music, and…the guilt I'd felt. Ignoring the latter for now, I reached over and snatched my back, rummaging through it for the contents. When I found then I fumbled to my feet, taking the disk out as I walked over to my sound system. Placing the disk in, I turned it on and turned up the volume, but not high enough that the Cullen's could hear it from their house.
As is started to play, I froze, recognizing the voice instantly—Edward's.
(Sleepless night – Faber Drive PS: it took me the longest time to decide what song I wanted to use LOL)
Another
sleepless night and,
still staring at the ceiling.
I can hear
him fighting,
with her for no good reason.
Will this ever
end?
Will this house be a home again?
If I had my way,
I'd
corner him and say...
Put yourself in her position.
All she
needs is recognition.
Love's not enough when you say it.
Don't
you know you gotta mean it?
Screwing up the best thing ever, is
something you'll regret forever
Another day goes by
and,
nothings changed she's still the same.
I can hear her
crying,
thinking she's the one to blame.
Will this ever
end?
Will this house be a home again?
If I had my way,
I'd
corner him and say...
Put yourself in her position.
All she
needs is recognition.
Love's not enough when you say it.
Don't
you know you gotta mean it?
Screwing up the best thing ever, is
something you'll regret forever.
Take her and make sure she feels
it.
Let her know you'll never let her go.
Screwing up the best thing ever, is something you'll regret forever.
Another
sleepless night and,
nothings changed she's still the
same.
Another stupid fight and,
someone's gotta say...
Put
yourself in her position.
All she needs is recognition.
Love's
not enough when you say it.
Don't you know you gotta mean
it?
Screwing up the best thing ever, is something you'll regret
forever.
Take her and make sure she feels it.
Let her know
you'll never let her go.
you'll never let her go.
no, no,
no.
Put yourself in her position.
All she needs is
recognition.
Take her and make sure she feels it.
Let her know
you'll never let her go
My finger shakily pressed on the 'off' button, and I just sat there. I could feel the tears still streaming down my face from what I'd heard, from the panic of what I realized from the words.
Did he know?
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx s2 xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
OH.MY.GOD. I'M NOT DEAD AFTERALL! –gasps- LOL Okay, I'm sorry for not updating in…a very, very long time, BUT I HAVE AN EXCUSE! Well some of you that have msged me already that I've replied to know part of the reason why. I actually got a new computer before exams. I was going to update as soon as they were over but the guy that's supposed to come in and set up my computer and install things like Microsoft –hint hint- (I didn't have MSWord -.-") and what not so I couldn't update (and still cant until the BASTARD comes in, jking!...kinda…maybe…). Right now I'm using my sister's labtop cause I told her I had to use it for MSWord because I have to type an Essay. Which I've actually finished on Saturday, but she doesn't need to know that. I'm going to update the next chapter the next time I can get my hands on this computer, which will be soon because I'm going to have to fix my Essay with the peer-edited copy of it I've done in class anyway. Oh, and that leads me to the second reason why I couldn't really update, well not really since my sister wouldn't let me use her computer anyway. I'm actually taking summer school (which I seriously regret now) for my history credit because I wanted an extra credit for Sophomore year so I could have an extra free period in either junior or senior year. Yeah, yeah, I know I'm selfish xD Sorry that I kinda left you guys with a cliffy by the way LOL. Well if you look at the lyrics, you'll probably understand that last line Bella was getting at.
It's actually my birthday (which was why I lied to my sister so I could update xD) so please review, it'd be a great gift :D Btw, I posted a pic of my 'Twilight cake', as my friend likes to call it, on my profile hehe
Okay imma go now, bye!