Chapter 3 - Freak Show
Hamtaro panted as he stood up and looked over the bloody corpse of Krampus.
"Finally he's dead..." Kirby said as he changes back to Normal Kirby.
"Whew!" Was Squirtle's response.
"So... how are we going to get back to the shooting gallery?" Pikachu asked while Hamtaro caught his breath.
"I'm not su-" Before he could finish, they were suddenly in front of the shooting gallery once more as if they were teleported the instant they blinked. The four of them seemed to jump at once upon realizing what had just happened.
"Well that was eerie…" Pikachu commented sweat dropped, Kirby, Hamtaro and Squirtle both nodded before approaching the shooting gallery.
The curtain drew back to reveal that the Ferris wheel representing Rickety Town had disappeared; all that was left was the strange face looking left and right while its mechanical jaw opened and closed periodically, representing the Freak Show.
"Let's go then," Hamtaro said before Pikachu, Kirby and Squirtle changed back into their weapon; he then shot the odd face.
The group was once again floating in the purple and black swirling void as the jester's skull appeared again.
"It's the Freak Show, the Freak Show,
See the strange and bizarre.
Step right up; we'd love to see you;
Mwahahahahahahahahahahaha! Ahahahahahahahaha!
They arrived at the entrance to the Freak Show looked like a larger version of the model at the shooting gallery — save for the words Freak Show written in glowing orange and yellow letters on the front of the face's straw hat and the looping audio of a man with a strange accent saying: "Step right up! It's the Freak Show!" while advertisements for various attractions surrounded it. Within the face's slow-moving mouth was a spinning tunnel with a yellow and red pattern.
They timed the mouth and quickly jumped inside as soon as it opened wide enough, finding himself spinning inside the tunnel as if he were in the tumble cycle of a dryer. "Woah! Dizzy, I'm getting dizzy!" Hamtaro yelled.
They eventually managed to jump out, feeling a little dizzy and sickened.
"Remind me to never go in one of those ever again," Hamtaro said, stumbling only slightly as he regained his balance and looked down. He saw that he appeared to be on a huge tongue. Hamtaro turned around and took a step back, seeing that the other side of the entrance was the visage of the jester's skull with the tunnel being inside its open mouth.
"Well that's not creepy at all," Hamtaro sarcastically said, turning and checking out the first part of the Freak Show.
Directly in front of him was a long stage stretching across most of the area. Its background was made up mostly of curtains and advertisements. To the left of the stage was a small red and white striped tent with a darkened entrance. The area was dotted with extended wooden benches, some facing the main stage while others faced two stages to the far left and far right of the main stage.
The stage to the far left was a small stage with a frame and a large curtain with an image on it. The curtain's image depicted a bald, yellow man with a goofy grin wearing an orange leotard with what looked like a vague black shape of a frowning face along with orange gloves. The man was missing most of his teeth and was sticking his tongue out, but what was most striking about him was the fact that the lower half of his body did not have legs — in fact he had a second torso that looked exactly like the upper torso only upside down due to their position. The man was offering a normal woman flowers while holding a visible knife behind his back while said woman recoiled in horror at the freak. Just above the scene was an orange banner that read Flap Jack in white letters.
"What the hell is that?!" Pikachu exclaimed as he saw the zombie, Flap Jack, in the open.
"Well that certainly does look unusual," Hamtaro commented sweat dropped.
"Yeah..." Squirtle added.
"I think they look kinda silly," Kirby said with a giggle.
The curtain suddenly rose to reveal Flap Jack, cackling as he flipped off the stage, his attached "brother" taking the top position upon landing in front of Kid and attempting to punch the young man. Hamtaro dodged and shot Flap Jack three times in the face, causing him to let out a loud choking sound before falling over, dead.
"Hmmm... He seemed to go down rather quickly for a guy with two heads… not that I care..." Hamtaro muttered. The lower jumped and tried to grab his leg, but Hamtaro only shot him in the face. "That's what I thought," said Hamtaro.
"Do you think there are more?" Squirtle asked just as two more Flap Jacks emerged from the small tent, one of whom was wielding a bloody wooden club with bent nails driven through it.
"I guess that answers my question," Squirtle said, knowing that would happen.
The two Flap Jacks ran up to Hamtaro and tried to hit him with their fists and club respectively. Pikachu managed to dodge the first one's club, but he was struck in the arm by second one's punches. He grunted before shooting the second one's lower head and causing him to fall. The both of them cackled as the first one continued to swing his club at Kirby. The Kirby jumped back and managed to inhaled the club and turns into Hammer Kirby to hit both of the heads with the hammer. The heads bled out over themselves, but they persisted in their attack.
"They seem a little too persistent," Kirby grumbled.
"Maybe they're just too stupid to stop?" Pikachu suggested. Hamtaro shot the second one until its head was a bloody pulp as it was approaching them. The second one was then shot in the chest until he keeled over and died.
Then they headed over to the second stage which was the same as the previous one except the curtain was different. The image on the curtain depict a very fat woman in a red dress with brown hair, a pink bow in the back of her hair and a long beard-and-mustache combo. She was holding a knife and a fork and looking down hungrily at a table which held a pie, a full roast chicken, and a plate of ham. Meanwhile, the banner above her read The Bearded Mama while two white circles with black text read Live and 700LBS respectively.
"Well, this should be interesting," Kirby said as he readied his weapon, expecting the worst.
The curtain raised to reveal a stage designed like a small bed room with a green bed, a large potted plant in the background and a lamp with a green shade behind the bed. The Bearded Mama was lying on the bed, dead. She was wearing a blue dress with a matching bow and her hair and beard remained despite her face being nothing but a skull. Her arms and legs were simply bloody stumps while what was left of her pale skin was covered in odd black dots. A section of her dress around her engorged stomach revealed rotten, torn away flesh and some of her ribcage. Hamtaro barely held back the bile that was desperately trying to escape as he turned away from the bloated corpse.
"Oh my God!" Kirby exclaimed.
"Holy crap!" Pikachu exclaimed in shock.
"I don't even want to know what happened here," Squirtle said, barely holding back a disgusted shudder.
"Me either; let's move it," Hamtaro replied.
"Hamtaro, watch out!" Kirby shouted as a large maggot with a wrinkled human-like face sprung out from the corpse's mouth and flew towards his face. Hamtaro quickly shot it down, turning it into a bloody pulp.
"Let's get out of here before something else happens to make me to vomit," he said, turning left and heading towards a hall.
The hall was made up of two green and white striped curtains leading to a tall, cylindrical tent of a similar pattern with an entrance that resembled an oversized Venus flytrap. On the right curtain there was a red and yellow sign that said 'Fly Trap' and on the left was a similar sign which said 'This Way!' with a big red arrow pointing towards the entrance to the tower tent. Upon approaching the flytrap, it opened up and revealed what seemed to be a normal living room.
Hamtaro stepped inside and looked around, seeing a green armchair, a large wood-finished TV showing static, a fridge, a stool with a half-eaten pizza in its box, a calendar, and a door with a sign that read The Museum of the Slightly Curious.
"This doesn't seem so bad," Squirtle commented before a loud buzzing came to their attention.
"What's that noise?" Kirby asked before looking up and seeing three hovering creatures watching them.
"Bugs... why does it always had to be bugs?" Pikachu said, scared.
The creatures looked like giant flies, save for their heads which were large, egg-shaped human heads with pointed noses and large, bulging eyes. The fly-people started to dive bomb Hamtaro once he made his presence know. Hamtaro took out the first two but the third managed to fly up and scratch his shoulder before he shot its head off.
"Ugh, I'm starting to get sick of these freaks," Hamtaro snarled, rubbing the minor scratch.
The floor suddenly crumbled away, save for a narrow section which led to the museum, revealing a pit full of the wrinkle-faced maggots writhing in a strange yellow slurry. The team rushed and jumped into the museum before any of the maggots got the chance to jump at him.
"I hope that's the last we see of those things…" Squirtle said as they walked up to the museum's first attraction.
The first attraction was a yellow jar with a large, blue eye on a tall table with a sign that said Thing in a Bottle. Past it was the next few attractions such as an Egyptian sarcophagus; a shoe about the size of a small car with a sign that said World's Biggest Show; a blue mosaic skull with a red cranium and black balls in its eyes labeled Ancient Mystery Skull of Time; and a skeleton in a blue sailor's uniform with an eye patch inside a glass case, above him was a yellow sign that read Share a Laugh with Smiling Jack! 25¢.
"Well these certainly are interesting objects around here," Kirby said, taking a few items as suvers.
"At least they're not trying to kill us…" Pikachu grumbled.
"They're kinda neat," Kirby commented as they moved on to the next set of attractions.
The next set of attractions were a flea the size of a cat on a wooden pedestal labeled 80lb. Flea; a large white squirrel holding a bloody knifed labeled Mechanical Killer Squirrel 10¢; a huge block of ice with a short caveman inside labeled Frozen in Time; and finally a stuffed horse lacking a mane with a sign that said Horse Without a Mane. Past the stuffed horse was the exit where a Flap Jack emerged and ran up to Hamtaro while swinging his club.
"Oh, I almost forgot about you," Hamtaro commented before shooting the faces to a bloody pulp.
Outside the museum was a small arena with two wooden stands. In the center was a large spinning wheel with a skeleton strapped to it that had several knives imbedded in its chest. Next to the arena was a large, concrete tower which Hamtaro slowly walked around while looking up at it.
Then Squirtle spotted something and shouted to Hamtaro, "Look out!"
As he observed the tall structure, Hamtaro suddenly found himself on a green seesaw which suddenly launched him up into the air after a Flap Jack jumped off a platform on the building. At the top of the building was a glass dome which he and his teammates promptly smashed through before hitting a wooden platform and dropping his comrades off the platform, losing consciousness.
Hamtaro groaned as he woke up. An unusual monkey was standing on his chest. The monkey had a blue face, long sharp teeth, six legs and wore a red fez on its head. Upon finding out he was awake, the monkey proceeded to shriek and tried to maul Hamtaro before he punched it off the platform. Kid stood up and looked around to see that inside the tower was a monkey enclosure with various wooden platforms, ropes, tire swings and black metal bars scattered about as the monkeys moved and played about.
"GAAAAAAAAH!" Hamtaro screamed.
"Hamtaro! Where are you?" a familiar voice called as Hamtaro looked down. He saw Pikachu, Kirby & Squirtle at the bottom of the tower.
"I'm up here!" Hamtaro called back, drawing the monkeys' attention. "What are you doing down there? Why haven't you tried coming up to find me?"
"The monkeys didn't seem to notice us like this, so we decided to wait for you!" Kirby called as the monkeys started climbing towards Hamtaro.
"Oh Great," Hamtaro said, jumping down onto a lower platform, and kicking off a monkey. Two more of the beasts climbed towards him on an overhead rope.
Hamtaro punched the first monkey on the rope before diving to a lower platform and kicking the second monkey as it tried to drop down on top of him. The monkeys were knocked unconscious as Hamtaro dropped down one more platform before getting to the ground and stood behind his comrades. He then shot at some of the monkeys before opening the iron gated door to the building and heading out. Some of the monkeys followed him out but scattered before he could fight them.
"Do you think those monkeys will come back to haunt us?" Squirtle asked.
"Nah, this is a pretty big place; I'm sure they'll find bananas or something," Kirby replied.
"Let's at least hope so," Hamtaro commented before walking up to the entrance of the next attraction.
Just outside of the monkey cage was a tall castle tower with a staircase that led up to a small drawbridge lit by two torches, the words Chamber of Horrors were written above of it in big glowing red letters. The draw bridge suddenly opened and a figure stepped out. The torchlight revealed the figure to be a tall, burly man wearing metal gauntlets, spiked shoulder pads, metal hooks, and leggings. The man had two heads, each of which had a single huge eye and a mouth with clearly missing teeth. The man's chest was dotted with three large eyes while the uncovered parts of his arms each had its own huge eye. The man wielded a massive claymore.
"I am Eyeclops!" he declared in a thick British accent before approaching Kid with his claymore drawn.
"Eyeclops?!" Hamtaro shierked.
"Must be a combination between a Cyclops and a Eye monster!" Squirtle exclaimed.
"Grr..." Hamtaro started firing at Eyeclops, but the shots were deflected with the claymore and gauntlets before trying to slash at the young hamster with the sword. Hamtaro and the gang dodged the attacks, managing to shoot one of the eyes on his chest. It popped, sending forth a spray of gore and eye puss.
Ow! me eye!" Eyeclops cried out in pain as he smacked Squirtle in the face with his free hand, knocking him to the ground.
"Squirtle!" Pikachu screamed, then glares at Eyeclops. "You'll pay for that! Volt Tackle!" Cried Pikachu as he charges in with the combination of a Quick Attack and a Thunderbolt that created an electric charge attack.
"Flame Charger!" Hamtaro charges in and attacks in with a flammable charge attack.
"Shepherd's Pie!" Eyeclops cried, clutching what remained of the damaged optic, while Hamtaro stood up and continued firing at him. The shots hit either the gauntlets or parts of his chest.
Squirtle groaned, "His accent is starting to get on my nerves," He said as he saw Eyeclops swung his sword in a vertical slash, he moved and managed to shoot another eye on his chest.
"Take this, Bubble Beam!" Squirtle fires his machine gun bubble attack on him, but Eyeclops used his sword to block the shots before charging at Squirtle, his right side forward. Squirtle backed up a bit before charging towards him as well.
"Hamtaro!" Squirtle shouted at him.
"Got it!" Hamtaro replied to him as he knows what he's thinking. They got within 3 feet of him before Squirtle throws Hamtaro as he unleashed his "Fire Buster" attack point blank at his eye, causing it to rupture and bleed.
"Bloody hell!" Eyeclops cried out before falling back, dead. His red soul slowly floated out a few moments later as Hamtaro landed on the other side.
"That was so cool!" Kirby cheered.
"At least now we can move on," Hamtaro replied as they entered the Chamber of Horrors.
Once inside, the drawbridge shut behind them and several bars rose from the floor and ceiling to cover it, making any chance of escape impossible. The hall was a typical medieval affair with torches strewn about the hallway, colorful tapestries hanging from the ceiling, and reinforced double doors lining the halls. Hamtaro walked down the hall, watching the doors carefully. He sighed in relief as he reached the end of the hall.
"Well, that wasn't too bad," he said just as he heard all the doors creak open. He turned to see that they were, indeed, open.
From one of the doors emerged a bald man wearing a leather loincloth and wielding a bloody sabre. His knees were cut open, revealing bloody flesh and bone. His face was covered in black leather straps pulling back his cheeks and eyelids so that it would seem he was smiling and keeping his eyes open. His stomach area, meanwhile, was being held open by hooked straps, revealing the muscles beneath the skin. The man twitched as he lumbered towards Hamtaro with his sabre drawn, every step seeming like another agonizing movement.
"Dear God... what is that?" Hamtaro wondered as the tortured man approached, erratically slashing his sabre about.
"I…don't know. I just... I just..." Squirtle said, shaking to his shell. Kirby looked scared and terrified by this.
"Kill it! Just Kill it!" Pikachu shouted at him by greeve. Hamtaro shot at the man, causing him to scream through his teeth before falling back and dying in a pool of blood.
"Well that was... freaky," Hamtaro said before moving onward. They both nodded
At the end of the hallway, there was a large, cylindrical area with an empty pillory which Hamtaro went around only to encounter a man with large rivets stuck in his arms and head. The top part of his head was obscured by a metal ring with a bloody hole that exposed his eyes. Pikachu quickly killed him by using his Thunderbolt attack.
Beyond the pillory was a wide open area with a doorway at the end. The area contained two cages hanging from the ceiling and chains on the wall, but it also contained two torture devices — both of them were occupied by the leather-strapped men. One was an iron maiden which quickly shut on its own, blood oozing out while the other was an electric chair which turned on at that moment. The man in the chair screamed, arching his back, and struggled to get out of his restraints.
Hamtaro quickly ran past them and into a large room that sloped off after a short distance into a bloody white tiled floor with a human-sized hole in the ground. A bloody corpse lay next to it while skeletons hung from the ceilings.
"I wonder where this leads..." Hamtaro wondered aloud before being pushed by one of the nailed men down the slippery tiles and into the hole, landing on a conveyor belt with a grunt.
Hamtaro stood up and looked around, seeing a row of three more conveyor belts coming out of tunnels. One was occupied by a leather-strapped man. The leather-strapped man, upon seeing Hamtaro, threw his saber at him. He dodged while resisting the urge to shoot him. Eventually the conveyor belts ended on a drop which led to another conveyor belt, rolling to a grinder. The leather-strapped man was quickly ground up into a bloody pulp before Hamtaro jumped off the conveyor belt.
Kirby, who changes into Laser Kirby, blasted them out of the way out of proportion.
On the other side of the grinder was a tube which fed the pulpy gore into a row of huge, blue bowls on another conveyor belt which fed each bowl one at a time. The bowls had purple rims with teddy bear and star designs on the outside. Pikachu divided between the bowls to reach the other side.
"I wonder what these bowls are for?" Hamtaro asked.
"I bet they are for a big baby around here!" Kirby replied.
"Come on, Kir. That'd just stupid," Pikachu said, not assumed.
"Yeah, it would be ridiculous," Squirtle said, agreeing to Pikachu.
"Hmph. You don't have to be so mean about it," Kirby said, feeling a little offended.
Hamtaro turned and saw a staircase which led up to a door that said EXIT in bright red letters. Hamtaro and the others smiled as he ran up the stairs and out the door. He found himself on a cliff overlooking a path that led to the right. Turning down the path, Hamtaro was suddenly jumped by the troop of monkeys from earlier. Hamtaro quickly shot them all before moving.
"Huh, what do you know?" Squirtle said in a slightly smug tone.
Hamtaro simply sighed and continued down the path, eventually coming upon a rickety looking bridge that led to the giant doors of a concrete coliseum. Upon approaching it, two giant dischargers near the top of the entrance and — on opposite sides — came to life. Electricity sparked within each of them as the doors opened.
"Uh... what is this? A playground or a collesium?" He asked.
"Uh… I have to say… both." Pikachu answered.
The inside of the coliseum looked like a giant sized version of a child's play area. The walls were purple with repeating designs of a cow jumping over the moon. There was a train track that circled the entire arena, and to the left, some huge building blocks stacked up, a bus and a house in the distance with some plastic people toys. To the right, there was what looked to be a gigantic crib. As they entered, a green two car train-one a platform the other the engine-with the jester's skull embedded into the front of the engine passed them by.
"Don't wake the baby!" it said in the jester skull's usual voice before the crib turned and rose straight up, facing Hamtaro and revealing its contents.
"Uh, Baby?" Squirtle said in a questionable look.
Inside the crib was a variety of wires and meters all hooked up to a metal dome which, after a brief spark, brought the colossal baby to life. The baby was at least 30 feet tall and seemed to be stitched together from various bits of flesh. It wore a white diaper and carried a skull-shaped rattle. It was missing its right eye.
"Oh... my... god!" Hamtaro/ Squirtle/ Pikachu said, saying the 3 words each sentence.
"HA! I knew it! I knew I was right!" Kirby said in a self-congratulatory tone.
"I wish you weren't," Hamtaro replied as the baby started running towards them. They shot at it.
The baby continued careening towards them, Hamtaro's shots barely seemed to make it wince as it tried to smash him with its rattle.
"We're not getting anywhere with this!" Squirtle shouted.
"Quick! Into that house!" Hamtaro shouted as he, Pikachu, Kirby and Squirtle jumped out of the way and ran towards the house. The baby gave chase while Kid continued to pour fire into it. The baby knocked over the blocks, barely missing Hamtaro before he ran past the toy people and into the house. He managed to catch his breath. The house was pretty empty, save for a plastic couch and chair.
"How the hell are we going to beat that thing?" Pikachu asked.
"Oh I know! Let's give him a giant milk bottle!" Kirby suggested as they fall in anime style, except baby who tore off the roof.
"Not helping, Kirby!" Pikachu shouted as the baby started to vomit on them.
"Eww gross!" Hamtaro exclaimed.
They managed to avoid it but still got a little on his back while they ran out. They stumbled upon the train and quickly got on the platform, the train going with the baby in hot pursuit. Hamtaro kept firing at the baby, but he only caused its head to tilt back slightly while it kept swinging its rattle at him. Soon, they started to approach the crib, the bus from earlier somehow ended up on the tracks, causing the train to derail.
"Oh man!" Kirby muttered as he and his friend managed to jump off in time before the train jackknifed and rolled over, laughing as it crashed into the crib, causing the wires to come loose and flail about, sizzling and crackling like deadly snakes.
"That's it! The Crib! Push him in the crib!" Hamtaro cried
The baby positioned itself in front of the crib and started throwing giant rattles and safety pins at Hamtaro. He dodged and kept shooting at it, causing it to lean back but not quite push it into the wire. Everyone was doing their best to get this, but it's no use.
"Damn it. We need something more to push it in…" Hamtaro said.
"Look! What's that?" Squirtle shouted as Hamtaro looked to see the Warp Star flying down from the sky.
"The Warp Star!" Kirby said, excitedly.
"I was wondering where that went," Hamtaro said.
As the Warp Star flies to the others, Kirby jumps in and flies in his flying star rider and changes into Plasma Kirby and shoots his "Plasma Beams" at the baby, until it was almost landed to the crib.
"Alright we're almost there!" Hamtaro cheered. "Guys now!"
"VOLT TACKLE!"
"PLASMA STAR!"
"SKULL BASH!"
"FLAME CHARGER!"
They all combined their attacks and blasted the baby, knocking it back and causing it to make contact with the wires. Electricity surged through the baby's body, causing it to jitter and flail before its charred corpse stopped and crumbled to pieces. The baby's green soul rose out of its body as the Warp Star returned to Kirby.