Let Me Love You Chapter 26: Energy, a twilight fanfic

Let Me Love You

Chapter Twenty Six

"Edward, I-I can't, I'm sorry."

The words hit me like a spear to the heart as she turned around without even giving me a second glance.

I stayed frozen to the spot as she went back on stage, but I couldn't process anything happening around me. Not Alice trying to pull me away, not Jasper pathetically trying to lighten up my mood, not famous producers trying to talk to me about contract deals, not even the unknowing crowd screaming their lungs out when Bella paused on stage for a few seconds too long without a word.

I didn't care.

All I could think of were the for words so little, but meaning so much, all the languages words couldn't describe the pain it had caused. Not pain, that didn't come yet. All there was was numbness, blocking out all feeling in my body.

Emmett ended up carrying my limp body back to the hotel, placing me on the bed.

It hurts to see him like this, but it's for the best. Things will work out soon, Alice thought.

What was the point in trying to 'work things out' anymore? Let alone the point in anything? I was going to live the rest of my existence in agony and depression anyway.

If you don't kill yourself first, the little voice in the back of my mind whispered.

If I don't kill myself first, I agreed without a second thought.

Not that it'd be likely, the Volturi already being fond of me and Alice being able to see my next move before I even make it. Why was this half life given to me? This must've been punishment God made my fate for all the lives I've killed in the past. Or something I've done in my past human life, even though I don't remember any of it, besides the little bits and pieces near the ending of it.

I might as well burn in hell, anything was better than this. Unless this was my own personal hell, in which I strive desperately to get out of.

Although I should be grateful that the pain hasn't come yet, the numbness coursing through me is already torture in my eyes.

Bella…

Her face was void of any emotion, as if she had no feelings in her at all. I've never seen her like that, but then I've never told her how I felt either.

I just sat lay numb for the next two days, Emmett always having to carry my limp body while we traveled to the next state. I ended up missing two of her shows, but I just couldn't handle standing out there with her.

My brain blanked out the whole time, knowing it was better to not think in case of thoughts turning to unwanted memories.

Suddenly an unwelcome pixie crashed her way into my room. "Edward! Edward!" she all but yelled at me, rushing over to the TV and turning it on while she flipped through the channels as if her life depended on it. "You have to watch this. This is what I've been waiting for to happen all this time during the past weeks!" she bounced excitedly when she finally found the channel she had been looking for.

It was a teen's channel that apparently played music, MTV to be more specific. Suddenly a host of the show announced after the commercial break, "And how a preview of Bella Volturi's new hit single, Energy." (I don't know if they do that because I don't watch much MTV, but they do that for Much if anyone watched that. I just thought MTV was more common, but the song it Energy by Keri Hilson and watch the video if you haven't because that's how Bella's is like.)

"Alice, I don't think I can handle this right now." I said, my voice in a monotone.

But she only replied with, Just watch, and turned her attention to the TV screen.

The first thing I saw was Bella, and I could already feel the pain barely, but still slowly, seeping through the numb wall I've built to protect myself.

I wish I could rip out a page of my memory
Cuz I put to much energy in him and me
Can't wait till I get through this phase
Cuz its killing me
To bad we can't re-write our own history

Such a mystery when he's here with me
It's hard to believe I'm still lonely
Chances fading now, patience running out
This ain't how its supposed to be

I'm having nightmares from sleeping with the enemy
How do we reverse the chemistry?
I don't want us to be the end of me
This love is taking all of my energy
Energy, My Energy
Taking all my energy
Energy, My Energy
Taking all of (my energy)

Seems only like yesterday, Not even gravity
Could keep your feet off the ground when u go to me
How can two be as one
We've become to divided now
There's no use hiding from my misery
Such a mystery when he's here with me
It's hard to believe I'm still lonely
Chances fading now, patience running out
This ain't how its supposed to be

I'm having nightmares from sleeping with the enemy (Oh, Yeah)
How do we reverse the chemistry? (We gotta re-)
I don't want us to be the end of me
This love is taking all of my energy
Energy, My Energy
Taking all my energy (Energy)
Energy (Energy), My Energy (Energy)
Taking all of

Now I can feel a change in me
and I can afford a slippage
from the person I was meant to be
I'm not afraid to move alone
not give it up but moving on
before it gets to deep
cause your taking all of my energy

"I don't see the point of this, Alice." Again, I replied without a trace of emotion, though it was hard after watching that.

"Are you BLIND AND DEAF?! Were you even paying the slight ATTENTION to the music video OR the song?! It's about her relationship with Shane! Don't you see what she's doing? She wants to end it with him and move on with YO-"

"Alice," I interrupted her, with a growl this time. "I don't want to hear it. It's just a song she's probably written ages ago and just came out with a music video because her producers wanted her to." I replied coolly. It was true, she had just rejected me so obviously there were no feelings for me in her heart and she only loved Shane.

"But-"

"No buts now leave." She growled in frustration before stomping out of the room, muttering 'stupid dumbass' and mumbling other profanities I ignored as she walked back into her own room.

Sighing with relief—the second emotion I've felt since I became numb, besides the aggravation I've felt towards Alice—I looked around the room. There was nothing interesting until my eyes landed on a wooden guitar sitting in one of the corners of the room. It was probably for decoration, but I walked over and held it in my hands anyway, closely examining it. I brought it back over to the bed, the TV already off as soon as the music video was over, and held it properly before strumming it.

I was surprised that it was in perfect condition for a piece of decoration and that it actually played well, only needing me to tighten the strings a bit to tune it out better. It must've been used a couple of times that have had this room as well.

After strumming a few different notes, I finally allowed myself to put down my carefully built wall as I broke out unknowingly into song and let my voice feel how I felt.

(It Ends – Faber Drive, sorry I'm just in love with them hehe, my most favourite band ever :D but seriously, it's a really pretty song :))

So clear silver moon
wind moves through my room
memories of Saturday (memories of Saturday)
slight turn of her head,
eyes down when she said,
shes goin away, goin away
I need to know this

am I the fool,
am I a victim
I'd rather know,
you'd rather kiss him, good night,
tonight, I'm blinded
I try, I tried
is this the way,
is this the way it ends

dark echoes inside,
cant sleep through the night
all the words I heard you say (memories of Saturday)
fade over the yard,
made under the stars,
stuck down in this place,
hands on my face,
I need to know this

am I the fool,
am I a victim
I'd rather know,
you'd rather kiss him good night,
tonight, I'm blinded
I try, I tried,
is this the way,
is this the way it ends

get up and chase the vision
stand up watch the world go by
ahhh ahhh
you found, feel the reason
black clouds are filling up my sky,
ahhh ahhh yeahhhhh

am I the fool,
am I the victim
I'd rather know,
you'd rather kiss him
am I the fool, am I a victim
I'd rather know
you'd rather kiss him good night
tonight I'm blinded,
I try, I tried
is the way,
is this the way it ends

Am I the fool, am I a victim
I'd rather know
you'd rather kiss him good night
tonight, I'm blinded,
I try, I tried,
is this the way it ends

I let my head fall after the last note hung in the air.

"Edward…"

My head whipped up at the voice to see Bella standing by the door with a tear soaked face that nearly broke my heart.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx s2 xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

What's with me and cliffhangers? LOL well this chapter and last chapter I was going to leave with even more of a cliffhanger but I felt nice so I added the little things to make it less...suspensful to find out what happens in the next chapter xD. Anyway, I was going to put Brave New World by Hedley instead of Energy but then when it first came out, I was like OMG this it PERFECT and there's an actual music video! so I changed my mind and put this song instead. If you found any errors in the lyris, my bad, I just coppied and pasted and fixed some of it. Oh, and It Ends it actually the original of Tongue Tied if you've ever heard of it. Haha sorry for all the Faber Drive-ness though, I usually like vareity when it comes to music but I just love them so much and it was acoustic so it seemed more fitting for the chapter and I just can't get enough of that song no matter how many times I listen to it hehe, sorry but I'm just crazy obsessed with them. Kind of like Twilight level obsessed (yea, that's how much I love em). Aiit enough about that, I'd just bore you even more if I continued on talking about them. SOOOO, for those that responded to that AN waaaaaay back where I got my iPod and stuff stolen thanks again for your sympathy, and I have good news, I finally got around to cleaning my room so my dad took me out to get the iTouch -drools- that thing is so COOL! And it has a GPS thing which I NEED, I mean, I get lost when I have a MAP with me. Yea, that's right, a MAP, and it ends up with me coming into contact with junkies (in down town Toronto anyway), and then I get scared which makes me start speedwalking with eyes the size of golf balls the whoel time xD. I have no idea how that works but I just know I'm not good with directions when it's not an area I'm used to, sometimes I even get street names confuzzled in my own neighbourhood, so the GPS thing is a plus and a must-have for me. Okay enough with the bragging (jkz), I was actually going to update this later but I'm going downtown to Much Music to see Boys Like Girls -squeal-, Good Charlotte, and Metro station :D. Well more to only see Boys Like Girls and Mason Musso from Metro but yea, Good Charlotte are pretty cool, but yea, I'm going to be out for probably the whole day so I couldn't update tomorrow. And I have some bad news :O there's only going to be abuot two chapters left of the story. Good news it that the next chapter is where things get explained and I'll try to update on Thursday :).

Okay, imma go, see you Thursday (hopefully) :D!