First I have to say I am so sorry about the delay but I was out of the country for two weeks, so no computer. Here is the next chapter. Thanks to those who reviewed, I love getting reviews. Thanks for reading and enjoy the chapter.

"I am sorry" the whisper of his voice took Ziva out of her trance. She didn't know how long they were there or when he had stopped crying just like she didn't know when the silent tears started rolling down her face but it seemed like hours ago because all she felt now was exhaustion and yet with a few words he brought her back to reality, and it wasn't a reality she liked.

"What are you sorry for?" they were no longer in each other's arms but rather face to face with their hands entwined.

"What happened. I wasn't thinking. I am sorry I forced you." He was cut short when she placed a finger in his mouth.

"What happened was willingly in my part." That seemed to be what he wanted to hear.

"Good." More silence. "Thank you Ziva for being here."

"I am glad I was here and able to help."

"God, I still can't believe she's gone. I just saw her a few hours ago. She was fine and now…"

"It's hard to lose someone you love."

"It is. You know what's the worst part? She shook her head. "I feel guilty."

"Why? You couldn't have done anything."

"I know, what I feel guilty about is different." Her expression must have shown her confusion because he explained. "When McGee called me I just knew something had happened. I thought for sure he was calling me to tell me something happened to you. And then he said no you were okay and for a moment I was so happy and I didn't even ask about Kate until he said her name, and I felt guilty because for a second I forgot about her. How could I forget her Ziva? How could I just abandon her like that?"

Ziva was shocked by his confession. He had actually thought about her before thinking of his partner. She didn't know what to say to him so she just remained quiet while he kept on talking.

"Then I walked in and I guess I still didn't believe it, and before I even looked for her I looked for you. And then I saw her on the floor, full of blood and I could feel the rage growing inside me and next thing I know here I am."

"I am sorry she's dead. It should have been me."

"No, Ziva. It shouldn't. It shouldn't have been anyone. But Kate died doing what she loved. You know her parents always wanted her to be a doctor, but she was a police officer even before she got into the academy. It was in her heart." After another silence he asked the question she was dreading. "What happened?"

She knew it was coming, but it still hit her like a buckle of cold water. She didn't want to lie to Tony. She desperately wanted to tell him the whole truth. But she couldn't for two reasons, one it would mean she wouldn't be able to meet Damian and two he would hate her, and she didn't think she could handle that so she had no option but to lie. "When I came out of the shower there was a man in my room. I didn't even realize he was there until he broke a vase. He had a gun pointed at me, then detective Todd came in, she yelled for him to drop his weapon, there were shots and she was on the floor bleeding."

"Could you identify him?" a little bit of hope grew in Tony.

"No. It was dark and I didn't really look at him." She was cursing herself inside. She hated being in this position but hopefully it would all be over soon.

"It's okay. We'll get him of that I am sure." She nodded not knowing what else to do or say. She also hoped they got him but not before she did. "You should sleep; it has been a hell of a day. I'll sleep on the couch."

He getting out of the bed but she grabbed his arm. "Don't go. Stay here, you need to sleep too." She saw the doubt in his eyes. "It's a big bed." She gave him a small smile. "I'll sleep better." He finally nodded and got back into the position he was before, a little hesitant to touch her. She closed the gap between them, nestling her head in his neck and willed herself to sleep, strangely it didn't take long until they were both sleep.

Ziva woke up a little disoriented; it took a second for everything that had happened to come back. She was in Tony's apartment, except there was no Tony in sight. She heard water, and looked across the room to the semi open door where the sound was coming from; he was obviously taking a shower. She got up from the bed and started look through the apartment wrapped in a sheet. It was small, messy but really welcoming; of course it must have looked before Tony trashed the living room. She went into the kitchen looking to make some coffee; she didn't think she could swallow anything else at the moment. She found the coffeemaker and the coffee and within a few minutes the aroma of fresh coffee filled the whole apartment.

She almost jumped when she heard his voice. "Morning" she turned around and almost dropped her coffee, there he was with his hair wet, a pair of jeans and his bare chest giving her what she could see was a force smile. She had to turn his face away because she was sure she was blushing.

"I made coffee."

"I noticed. You can take a shower if you want." Tony didn't really know how to approach her or what to say. He didn't know how to bring up the events from the night before.

"I would like that." She did want to take a shower but dreaded putting her bloodied clothes back on.

He seemed to be reading her mind. "I have some clothes you might be able to use."

The thought of using Tony's past girlfriend's clothes was not pleasant but better than the alternative. "That would be great. I really don't want to put my clothes back on. I think I am going to burn them."

"Ah, you can't really do that. They are evidence."

"Of course, how could I forget that. The clothes?"

"Yeah." He moved to the hallway closet and took out a pair of jeans and a shirt and handed it to her.

Her curiosity was getting the best of her so she couldn't help but ask. "Your girlfriend's?

"No, Kate's." his voice turned sad

"OH, I am sorry. I shouldn't wear this." She tried returning the folded clothes to him.

"No, it's okay. Wear them. It's not like she'll use them again, right?" he tried to make it sound like a joke but she knew it wasn't, but instead of talking more she took the clothes and went to the bathroom.

Tony had a lot on his mind. It still seemed surreal that Kate was dead. He expected her to call him at any moment and lecture him on mixing business with pleasure; she was always the one to set him straight. He needed to do so much today and yet he felt like sitting in his apartment, his destroyed apartment all day long. Except there was Ziva, he really didn't know what came over him the night before, it must have been the grieve that made him act like that, otherwise he never would have. He felt like he had taken advantage of her and that was the last thing he wanted. Its true he was mad about Kate's death, but the necessity to have her in his arms came more from his desperate need to protect her and keep her away from any harm than from the grieve he was feeling. In some part of his subconscious he had wanted it, but not like that, not the way it happened. He would have wanted to show her how much she meant to him; instead he treated her like a cheap whore. His only hope was that once all of this was over she would forgive him and perhaps give him a chance at something with her. First he had to get this guy; he wouldn't do much to him, he had promised the captain to bring the bastard to him and he would, but a little roughing up before was unavoidable.

The shower stopped and a few minutes later Ziva came out with wet hair and wearing Kate's clothes. "I assume I have to make a statement?"

"Yeah. I just need to finish getting dressed." She nodded as he walked to his room to get a shirt. In a minute he was out, he picked up his gun and badge and they headed out.

The ride was awkward; they kept glancing at each other, neither one knowing what to say. When they arrived at the station he took her to the interrogation room where she had been before and returned five minutes later with Captain Gibbs.

"Ms. David, I am sure you remember me." She nodded. The man was pale, he looked like he hadn't slept at all and his eyes were red with fury. She read his name on one of the files he had placed on the table, Jethro Gibbs. "I need to know exactly what happened."

She repeated the story she had told Tony as her formal statement was being drawn. She hated lying again but it was necessary. When all the questions were answered and the tape recorded was stopped she decided to deliver the message she had from detective Todd.

"You are Jethro correct?" she directed her question to the older man who gave her a questioning look but nodded. "You were involved with detective Todd?" After a little hesitation he nodded again but not without questioning he.

"What does that have to do with the case?"

"Nothing really. It's just that before everyone else got there, when she was still conscious she said 'Tell Jethro I love him.' I thought you should know."

His eyes watered and his face lost some of the rigidness it had, she could tell he was fighting hard against the emotions. "Thank you Ms. David. I just wished I had the chance to tell her too."Tony was beyond shocked. His boss never once before had expressed any of his feelings for Kate in public, much less in their workplace. "DiNozzo I need to see you."

So Tony followed him out of the interrogation room leaving Ziva alone with her thoughts. She needed to get away from Tony and get ready for her meeting the next day. She decided the faster the better, this way less people would be in danger. She was surprised to find the door opened and no officer standing besides it, well she wasn't really a suspect at the moment and Tony trusted her, oh how wrong he was. She looked for him across the busy squad room but didn't see him. She took this as her clue and best opportunity so she simple walked out of the police station without anyone stopping her. Once she was outside she fastened her pace and as soon as she turned the corner she started running, hoping that by the time they realized she wasn't there she would be far enough.

Twenty minutes later Tony was leaving the captain's office. They had gone over the report from the night before as well as discussed a few possibilities. Both men were desperate to catch this man, but sitting in an office under his boss very angry looks wasn't exactly what Tony had in mind, so he was very glad when the meeting ended. He went by his office, picked up some files from his desk and headed for interrogation to get Ziva. When he opened the door, however she wasn't there. He thought maybe she was in the restroom but he didn't find her either. After looking everywhere in the precinct he realized she was gone.

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