Let Me Love You

Chapter Twenty Seven

BPOV

The guilt and pain only increased as my rejection was never able to leave my mind, always coming back to give me a kick in the stomach and burn my being when I was already down.

"Edward, I-I can't, I'm sorry."

It didn't even seem real, like it was actually me saying it. But no matter how hard I tried to pretend it never happened to relieve myself from the feelings that followed after my words, I couldn't.

How could I say that? I knew it would hurt the both of us but ignored my heart and followed my head.

Because you had to…a voice whispered.

Because I had to…

I tried to assure myself this for the past two days, but I found that I couldn't. I couldn't handle the pain, this kind of pain. It was too much for me to take; it wasn't possible for me to take.

So I came to my conclusion and did the first thing that came to mind—to go see Edward.

"You can do this." I kept repeating to myself in a whisper, so I wouldn't back out before I got to him. I knew I had to do something, but I couldn't do something at the same time. It sounded strange but would only make sense to me, I was going to apologize and talk things through with him. I couldn't handle him not being in my life but being with him wasn't a good idea.

I was just about to knock on his door as soon as I got out of the elevator when I heard something.

It was as beautiful as the first time I heard it.

Edward's voice.

And he was singing, along with a steady rhythm of an acoustic guitar.

Then it was like my body had a mind of its own, as I involuntarily turned the door handle to find it unlocked. Walking in, I gently closed the door behind me and leaned against it as I took in the sight before me. (I know hotels need a key card to open the doors these days but pretend that its locked by a key)

He was singing a song I've never heard before.

He must've written it himself, I concluded.

As I listened, I couldn't stop the flow of tears streaming down my face when the words he sung sunk it. I couldn't move, all I did was just listen, the realization of it all causing and internal battle within me.

When it finally ended, his head dropped, and I could feel my heart drop along with it.

"Edward…" I heard myself say before I could even process what I had just done.

Suddenly he looked up, and for a split second, I caught the agony I had caused on his face, before it changed to shock and worry when he noticed my presence.

EPOV

Without a second thought, I rushed to her side, encasing her into my arms as she sobbed into my chest. The only thing I could think about was my worry for the heart-rending sight of her.

"Shhh don't cry." I soothed, not even realizing I had taken her to sit on the bed, when she clutched onto me in a death grip.

"I'm sorry, I'm so so sorry. I wish things were different and I didn't listen to my head, and I never realized how you felt about everything, and I never stopped to talk to someone about this, and I'm so stupid-" I pulled away from her muffled face in my chest to put a finger to her lips, silencing her.

"You're not stupid," I said sternly. How could she think that? She was perfect. "And please explain. You're not exactly making sense, well not to me at least." I chuckled, trying to lighten the mood. She laughed a little, a smile forming, but it didn't quite reach her eyes.

"Sorry," she gave me an apologetic look.

"It's okay, just start from the beginning, I'm a little lost here." She smiled a small smile and breathed out a sigh before speaking.

"Okay, well it all started a few decades ago. I met a really nice guy named Matt. He was sweet and charming, and we were friends for years. Then we tried being together-" I winced, and she noticed. Touching my cheek softly, she apologized. "Sorry."

"It's okay." Although it still hurt to think she was with another guy. She looked at me knowingly, but understood that I wanted her to continue.

"Well, we were together for a couple of months, he wasn't bad at all, but we got into a stupid fight because he was concerned for me, which he always was. A little too much, and I got a little fed up because he seemed to want to know every little detail, not understanding when I just wanted to be alone. I realized that we were better off as friends, but he really liked me and argued that we should stay together. I was trying not to yell but it got me frustrated and so angry that I said something I didn't mean. I told him that we were over and just ran, crying. He followed me and tried apologizing but I was too mad and yelled at him, telling him I never wanted to see his face again. I regretted it as soon as the words left my mouth and apparently one of the guards saw everything and told da-I mean Aro, Markus and Caius. He raised his hand in a fist, meant to only touch his knuckles softly to my cheek after whispering 'I'm sorry' but it was too quiet for anyone else to hear and it must've looked like he was going to punch me because Jane released her power on him. Aro didn't even stop her only glaring at him. It only took a split second for them to mistaken Matt's gesture as a threat." Her voice shook at the last part, her eyes having a never ending flow of tears that I uselessly tried to wipe away, as she stared out into space as she saw everything replay itself perfectly. Kissing the top of her head, I rubbed soothing circles on her back as I pressed her small frame to me, trying to sooth her from her memory.

"I was so shocked, but still yelled at them to stop it, that this was all a misunderstanding, but what shocked me more was when he opened his eyes through the pain and looked at me. He said 'I love you, but I guess you can't love me back' and told Aro to finish him. I was so stunned, I didn't realized the few seconds that past and that Demetri and Felix came and took him, until it was too late. All I could hear were his screams when they executed him. I still loved him like a brother; I never wanted him to have that fate. He didn't deserve it." She whispered the last part.

"And that's why you're still with Shane." I could finally say his name now. I finally understood why she was still with him through all the hurt he put her through.

She nodded, looking down, before continuing. "I never looked at another man as more then a friend or a brother since. It was only a couple of years ago that Heidi finally broke me after decades of nagging that I should find someone new to distract me. She told me to just have a bunch of one-night stands, but I wasn't like that, although I did listen to her about just settling with someone at last. It was then that I found Shane, and he seemed nice enough at the time and I just wanted Heidi to get off of my back.

"But as time progressed, I never felt much more for him. We would still do the couple-y things but when I kept denying him of sleeping together, he would get angry and leave for weeks, sometimes months. I didn't want him to turn out like Matt so I just told daddy and my uncles that he was on vacation or shooting a movie, and that I didn't feel like traveling with him. Any excuse to get them off my trail. But that first time he returned, he acted like nothing happened, and I was grateful for it so daddy and them wouldn't get suspicious. Well, until I got a call from some girl at Voltera looking for him. I asked her who she was and if I could leave a message for her, and-" she stopped, and I understood.

"I wasn't hurt because I loved him, I was hurt at the fact that he never told me and still wanted to be together. I couldn't end it with him because I was afraid daddy or someone might notice if I had a change in my behaviour and would question about Shane, and look into what had really happened. Or worse—had a misunderstanding. And it doesn't help when Aro, Markus and Caius never liked any of them in the first place. And even if I did end it with him and we got together, I wouldn't be able to handle losing you." She looked deep into my eyes.

We stared at each other; the only sound was our faint breaths, looking to see the others reactions while processing what she had just told me. I didn't know how much time passed, seconds, minutes, hours, all I knew was my answer.

Breaking the silence, I finally spoke. "The only way to prevent provoking Aro and the rest of your family is to sit down and talk to them about it; make them understand how you feel. Although I wouldn't care about what happened to Shane, Matt seemed the better person in my opinion."

"But he's really caring a lot of the time too." She added.

I shook my head, a little angry, but not at her. "By that statement, I doubt you've used my ever since that day in class, let alone when he was around. His thoughts are anything but." Her face dropped, and I immediately regretted saying anything when I saw her make the connections with my words.

"Oh." There was a little hurt in that single syllable.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that." I tried to take my words back.

"No, no, it's just as well." she signed, and I was surprised she wasn't heart broken, but then remembered she said she didn't love him. Hope overpowered my senses as I started continued from my previous feedback, as I tilted her chin up to meet my gaze.

"And I hope you know that even if you don't talk to your family about this, I don't give a single damn about the risks. I'd do anything to be with you."

Her eyes glistened a little at my words as she thought of what I had just told her.

I leaned in, making our faces only inches apart as I whispered, "Let me love you."

She gazed into my eyes, trying to find something which I think she found, because she leaned in slightly, our eyes half lidded as she breathed, "Okay," before she pressed her lips to mine, and I felt myself soaring through a place that heaven couldn't even be compare to.

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Okay, I was going to start the next chapter Thursday, but my plans changed and I had to go out to pick up my contacts because I have been blind the past week and it was torture. Then I started writing the chapter Friday and long-story-short, I probably have A.D.D or something. I was thinking of changing half of the chapter back to Bella's but I went out today and forgot to upload this before I left so if you want, I'll add some of it in Bella's POV if enough of you request it, otherwise the only news is that there's probably about two chapters left. Anyway, on to non-important talk that you don't have to read xD On Wednesday I probably lost a couple of pounds from all the walking I did when I went shopping downtown, because my legs ached for two days, but it was SO worth it when I got to see Boys Like Girls (but it kinda sucked cause they were only there for probably five minutes, but omg, Martin--the lead singer--is so much cuter in person xD), Good Charlotte, and Metro Station performing. It was so cool, cause while we were waiting against the fence to the parking of MUCH, this Surburban was pulling inside the gates and while they had to go wait for the security gate thing to open for them, my friend's like 'omg is that Metro Station?' and my other friend's like 'you know it isn't' and I looked into the passenger window and I saw the lead singer Trace, and I was like 'YOU KNOW IT FUCKING IS!' and we started screaming and then the other people see and then we're all screaming our asses off haha. Then they got out and went inside but the band came back out except for Trace, and were smoking and when Mason, the guitarist and back up singer, looked my way I was doing my signature wave and waving my arm like a mental person (I actually do that in class if I want the teachers attention LOL) and he started waving his cigarette at me. Then when they were getting ready to be interviewed, Mason and Trace were just sitting there and I was reaching out my arm like my life depended on it (I was in like second row) and he either recognized me or it was cause I'm that cool (jkz) and he tried to reach for my hand but he couldn't so he had to grab onto Trace's chair for support and our hands touched (well it was more like we were doing some old hand greet where they used to fiddle your fingertips togeher instead of a hand shake when you see your friend haha). Oh, and I got Benji and Joel to sign my CD cover and the funniest thing happened. My friend is a big Metro fan and she bought the CD that day and she was holding it in hopes that they would sign it on commercial break but only Benji and Joel were signing autographs so when they were doing that, she held out the Metro CD for them to sign and Joel just looked at it and gave a 'wtf' look and started signing in the other direction LOL, you had to be there, it was hilarious, and some person tried to get them to sign an opened pad O-O (don't worry, they just ignored it and started signing the other direction too xD). Oh and I just ordered tickets for the Hedley concert and I'm really excited for that, but it's not until October :( they cost me a shit load, but the good thing is that they're sixth row :D

Aiit, imma go now, bye!