The day after the sock hop was a subdued one for Angela, she felt let down, like she had lost something, but she couldn't define what she had lost. It had taken her a long time to fall asleep last night, she kept rerunning the whole evening in her mind, her heart breaking a little more each time she saw Tony onstage dazzling the crowd and herself backing away from him; scared and alone. It was another in a long string of nights in which she longed for Tony's arms around her to comfort her and take away her pain. She finally got to sleep by cuddling up to a pillow and pretending they were once again on a train together. The pillow made a poor substitute for Tony, but it was enough of a crutch for her to finally settle into an uneasy sleep.

At breakfast, Angela noticed that there was none of the usual laughter and bantering. She chalked it up to post sock hop letdown; but what Angela didn't understand was that everyone else in the household had picked up on her introverted mood and was giving her a wide berth. She and Tony barely made eye contact at all.

Tony had not had an easy night either; he'd taken a chance of putting his heart on the line and had nothing to show for it. He'd thought that Angela would love to have "Earth Angel" sung to her; and not only did he not wind up with Angela in his arms because of it, she didn't even see the song being performed. He was disappointed all night; but the morning was showing him that perhaps his idea had been unrealistic from the start. What did he expect? That Angela would see him singing to her and she would rush up on stage and kiss him in front of all of Fairfield? Not likely. Expectations in check, he was back to square one, and once again ideas for what he'd termed 'The Angela Situation' formed in his mind.

Trouble was, none of the ideas resolved the problem of him crossing the line they had been so careful to maintain their whole time together. Over the years he'd ruminated that it was more than a line. Here they were, sleeping across the hallway from each other, yet the distance between their bedroom doors might as well be as wide as the chasm of the Grand Canyon instead of just a few feet.

Mona and Jonathan ate as quickly as they could in order to escape the suffocating quiet in the kitchen. This had to be the most subdued breakfast they had had since Tony had come to live with them and neither one was enjoying it. They kept exchanging glances and silently commenting on the chill in the air between Angela and Tony.

Seeing that fun was going to be in short supply today, Angela decided to shut herself up in her home office and bury her problems in work. Distraction always worked well for her; there was no reason to stop now. She sat at her desk, but her usual concentration skills were deserting her. She was unable to focus on her work, snippets of songs kept floating through her head and she couldn't make them go away. Frustrated, she decided that since it was such a nice day that maybe she should go for a walk to clear her head. Getting out of the house would be good for her. Decision made, she closed the file she was working on and slipped out the door without anyone noticing.

The summer sun did improve her mood and helped her put last night into perspective. She realized that she had over-reacted to the whole evening. It was just a dance, a summer activity; nothing more, nothing less. Her heart had gone into romantic overdrive and had ascribed too much significance to the evening. She rebuked herself for letting her imagination run away with her. Her relationship with Tony didn't depend on one night; it was something they had been building together for seven years.

Angela arrived at a playground, she sat in one of the swings and idly twirled as she recognized that soon they would be celebrating their seventh anniversary, she wondered where the time disappeared to. It seemed like only yesterday she opened the door to two strangers, she had no idea then how much they would both impact her life in such positive ways. She laughed when she remembered that she didn't think the situation would work; the idea had been absurd, a man for a housekeeper. At the time she thought it was just a ploy by her mother to have someone around the house to ogle, that would be just her style; but Tony's instant rapport with Jonathan gave her a glimmer of hope that maybe the idea wasn't so far-fetched.

Angela smiled when she remembered just how quickly Tony had become her friend. He'd been a stranger to her in the morning but indispensable to her before he'd even spent one night in the house. How he managed that always amazed Angela when she thought about it, and now she wondered if there had ever been the remotest possibility that she wouldn't fall in love with him.

Eventually, and she was none too happy with this realization, she decided her mother was indeed correct, she would have to say, "I love you" first. She hated it when her mother was right, but more than that, the thought of saying "I love you" terrified her. Where would she find the courage to be honest with Tony about her feelings for him? How would she even go about saying the words? Previous attempts at confronting their feelings had not gone well, but maybe her mother was correct in this too; maybe it was finally time and if they didn't take the chance they would lose everything.

The thought of losing Tony frightened her more than anything she had faced in her life. This combined with the memories of too many nights spent pining for him, strengthened her resolve to say the words. Now all she had to do was figure out the right time and place. To that end she spent the rest of the day coming up with and discarding ideas for the proper setting of this declaration. For of course there could be nothing mundane about this; this had to be a moment they would cherish for the rest of their lives, she hoped, and she wanted everything to be perfect.

That evening Angela changed for bed as usual, but then made a decision that was quite unusual for her. If Tony wouldn't cross the great divide of the hallway, and no matter how many times Angela had fantasized a quiet knock on the door in the middle of the night, after seven years it still hadn't happened; maybe it was time for her to enact the flip side of that fantasy and go knock on his door. Gathering her courage, she changed into a shorter, silkier nightgown; but threw her usual nondescript pink terrycloth bathrobe on over it. Reckless abandon had to be tempered with some semblance of propriety.

Slowly she opened her bedroom door, the hinges creaked and she made a mental note to tell Tony about that in the morning; or maybe that would be her excuse for knocking on his door now? Her thoughts were becoming scattered, unfocused; the only fact she could truly note was that although the hinge creaking didn't make much of a sound during the day; at night it sounded louder than a jet engine at take-off. Angela was afraid she'd woken up not only Jonathan but somehow her mother as well just by opening her bedroom door. It was an over-reaction, of course, Jonathan had gone to bed hours ago and Mona wasn't even in the house; but Angela was beyond rational thought. Her pulse was rushing, her cheeks blushing and she was terrified she'd be caught walking in her own hallway. She took one very deep breath and forced herself to calm down; she could do this. All she had to do was walk; a simple enough task she performed every day. So why were her feet so reluctant to move now? She leaned against the door jamb, temporarily defeated and angry with herself for being so hesitant to reach her goal.

Angela told herself the time was now; they had no reason to wait any longer. Then as added incentive she reminded herself of how easy it could be to lose Tony to another woman…again. That did it; she took another deep breath and forced herself to Tony's door.

And stared at it.

She raised her hand to knock, but just then the door opened. Tony was just as surprised to see Angela as she was to see him. They both stared at each other in shock for a moment, Angela's hand still poised to knock.

Tony recovered first, "something I can help you with, Angela?" Really, a perfectly innocent question, but in Angela's heightened state of being all she could do was picture all the ways Tony could help her, most of which involved him in as little clothing as possible. She pulled away, clasping her hands together and backing away.

"No…no; it was just some detail..about…nothing," she smiled, now completely flustered. Then the situation became more uncomfortable for her as Jonathan emerged from his room. Jonathan saw his mother grasping for her bedroom doorknob behind her and trying to duck back into her room. He noticed the look on Tony's face as he watched her, it was one of mystification. Angela's behavior tonight made no sense to him whatsoever.

"Jonathan, what are you doing up?" his mother asked insecurely.

"I forgot my magazine downstairs and there was an article I wanted to read tonight."

"Oh, yes…I see…of course," Angela succeeded in opening her bedroom door, "Tony, do you think you could do something about the hinges tomorrow? They are getting a little squeaky."

"Sure, Angela."

She smiled, "thanks, Tony," she tried to evoke a sense of calm as she said, "well, goodnight Jonathan, good night, Tony. See both of you tomorrow." They both answered her good nights and she disappeared into her room, shutting the door firmly behind her.

Jonathan looked at Tony for answers. Tony looked at Jonathan and shrugged, giving him an 'I love her, but sometimes even I don't understand her' look and said, "she's your mother."

Jonathan could only raise his hands in defeat, "yeah, but that doesn't mean I understand her either."

United in their masculine misunderstandings, they went downstairs; Jonathan to retrieve his magazine and Tony to grab the glass of orange juice that was his original reason for leaving his bedroom at this hour. Jonathan went back upstairs rather quickly, but Tony remained in the kitchen mulling over all the possible reasons for Angela to knock on his door at this hour of the night. Obviously she wasn't sick or hurt, so she didn't need him to call an ambulance. It was a strange time of night to discuss dinner party plans, so he crossed that off the list too. His imagination taunted him with the thought that just maybe Angela had been so close to knocking on his door because his room was suddenly preferable to her own room; but he dismissed that notion as completely absurd. Angela wouldn't be forward enough to initiate a seduction, would she? He shook his head, there was no way; no way, that that could have been the reason. Eventually he went back to bed, still unable to come up with a satisfactory answer to Angela's behavior tonight, but deciding not to bring it up to her in the morning. If she wanted to talk about it, she'd bring up the subject herself.

In her room, Angela paced. What had she been thinking? The whole idea had been crazy and she regretted the attempt. What if Jonathan had caught them? This opened up a whole new line of thinking for her. If she and Tony ever did manage to move their relationship forward, how would that work with Jonathan just down the hall? Would they have to wait until he went to college? She banished that thought as quickly as it appeared; there was no way she was waiting that much longer. No way. Then she rationalized that other couples managed adult relationships with kids in the house just fine, after all, younger siblings came from somewhere.

It was at this point that Angela's thoughts took a turn she didn't expect; toward how much she missed Billy. Of course she was glad he was back with his grandmother; but his departure made the house too quiet. It had been so much fun to pretend he was their child, there were even moments she forget he wasn't. Now that he was no longer here, the ache for another child, which she had long ago sublimated, made its return with a vengeance. She sat down at her dressing table and thought about holding a sweet baby in her arms. Soon she was lost in daydreams of a beautiful new life gracing their family. She was sure Tony would be over the moon at the prospect of being a father again. Angela stayed adrift in these happy thoughts for so long that she started nodding off sitting at the table. Sadly, she banished the baby musings from her mind, pulled away from the table and tucked herself into bed.

Sleep was again far from restful.