Chapter 8: Connections

"Do you want to rest a bit before lunch, Byakuya?" Renji asks quietly.

"All I have done all day is rest, Renji," I reply, staring out into the garden, "I would much rather talk with you. I actually have something important to ask you."

He walks over to join me by the open double doors that lead into the garden.

"What is it?"

"Something occurred to me when I heard Michi talking to you about Kasumi. I started thinking, Renji, that although I feel like I've told you all there is to know about my past, the lessons I've learned, and knowledge I've gained, I really don't know so much about your past. It seems strange that I have been your life partner for nearly two years and still much of your history is unknown to me. The Kuchiki family is one that values history very highly. For me to not know yours seems…wrong."

"I…don't think I intentionally kept anything from you, Byakuya," he assures me, "but I think that the subject of my past just hasn't come up."

"It's strange, Renji. You have done so much to help me deal with my losses. You know them chapter and verse. You could tell them back to me in full light and color, capturing every detail…but your past exists only in black and white where it exists at all for me. What I know of you is based on who you are…I have no idea at all who you have been in the past."

"Does it matter so much? Byakuya, I think one of the things you and I have had to learn is to live now, not in the past or…not too focused on what might happen. Maybe that's why there are some things we just haven't talked about. But at times like now, when the past becomes an important part of what is happening right now, it's a good time to share things we might not have before. Do you know what I mean?"

I nod and turn back to the bed. I slip in under the covers and lean back against the pillows. After a moment, Renji joins me. I lean against his warm shoulder, my eyes still turned toward the garden.

"So would you like to tell me about Kasumi? You always listen when I need to talk. I want to return the favor."

He smiles good-naturedly.

"It would do me some good, I think. It was a huge shock when I found out about Takeo. In fact, the shock was so great…it was like I couldn't react. Well partly because of the shock and partly because so much else is happening all at once. Byakuya, I still don't know how to talk to him about this. I was…just getting to know Takeo as one of our squad members. All I know about him is that he's tall and lanky like I was, he's got talent, but not so much finesse…again, like me, and he stinks at sensing reiatsu. I am impressed with his Shikai. The signs are there, and now that I know, I wonder why it wasn't obvious to me, you know?"

"He does favor you," I say, "And when I watched him for the first time, I actually was reminded of you."

"But Byakuya, he's grown up without me. I don't even know him. I know he didn't have it easy. He was a street kid like me. Damn! I wish it could have been different for him, you know? Because I think if I had known, then maybe the kid wouldn't have ended up in this mess. I know I didn't have a choice about learning of his existence sooner, I just wish it didn't have to be this way. I hate that he did this to us."

"Renji," I say bracingly, "You and I have yet to find out how much he knew about what he was doing. Perhaps there is more to this than we know. We will find out when we talk to him. He should be here soon. While we wait, tell me about Takeo's mother."

Renji smiles sadly at the memory. It is an expression that I know I have worn before, when remembering Hisana. To know that Renji felt love like that for this girl strikes a chord with me. I know that feeling.

"It's funny, Byakuya. When I was a street teen, the person who was most present in my life was Rukia. We were so dependent on each other. We did everything together. We lived in a shack down near the river with a bunch of other kids. Us older kids saw it as our responsibility to protect the younger ones. Why are you smiling?"

"It just…seems so much like you and Rukia to do that."

"Yeah, well, someone had to or even fewer of us would have stayed alive. As it was, we had our losses…and each time, we hurt a lot because we tried so hard to protect each other. It was just so difficult. Anyway, Rukia and I would get up early every day…stop laughing, Bya, yes, I got up early! We had to so that we could go out and find food for all of us. We had an agreement that whatever we found, we split evenly. If someone was in greater need, we gave what was needed. Apart from what we did to provide for the others, Rukia and I pretty much did what we pleased. There was a woman in town who taught us how to read and helped us learn other things we would have learned if we'd gone to school. But mostly, Rukia and I liked to go down to the river. I'd sit up in a tree and watch her play with water flowers. And I'd daydream a lot."

"What did you think about?" I ask, closing my eyes.

"Mostly, I thought about how I was going to become a soul reaper. I was going to get out of that place. And I always pictured Rukia coming with me. She was always a constant in whatever I dreamed about the future."

He gently laces the fingers of one hand into mine.

"Sometimes, the end of the day would come and I'd be asleep in the tree. If the weather was good, sometimes Rukia would curl up next to me and sleep. Sometimes, she'd just give me a pat and leave me there. It was on one of those nights that Kasumi appeared under the tree. I heard the sound of her feet scraping the ground and I thought Rukia had come back. I dropped down to give her a scare, but I was shocked when I saw it wasn't Rukia. This girl was very different."

Now his eyes drift closed as he remembers.

She was a little taller than Rukia, but fine boned and more pale. Her hair was a lighter brown, lighter than Takeo's and had curls down at the ends. Her eyes were a really pretty blue. But I could see right away she hadn't had it easy. I thought that she was a prostitute. I guess that's what I was supposed to think. She was dressed like one, though looking back now that I know she wasn't, I see that there were signs that I just missed. Anyway, she seemed to be in trouble. She'd been beaten up. I knew a little bit of kido, so I healed her the best I could and used my body to warm her up. It's always so damned cold in Inuzuri…of course, you know that. She left before dawn the next morning, but I told her to come back if she needed anything. And she did. She'd come late at night and we sit in the tree and talk. We talked about anything except our lives as they were right then, because we were both struggling. We talked about being soul reapers and living where it was warm, having enough to eat and things like that. Over time, we grew close and things got passionate, serious. I wanted to take care of her. I hated the thought of what she was doing to survive. So, you know, I wasn't upset at all when she got pregnant, Byakuya, I was actually happy about it. The funny thing is, that even though I knew her child could be my son or daughter, I never really thought of it that way. In my street kid mind, it was just another little brother or sister…because having grown up in the Rukon, that was what I knew of family…just this group of kids fighting to stay alive, depending on each other."

"But that is a family still, Renji."

"Yeah, just different from what most people think is normal."

He falls silent for a moment and releases a soft sigh.

It's confusing to think that I really didn't know her, that while we sat for hours talking as we did, she never revealed herself to me. Still, Byakuya, I know she must have felt something for me. Something kept bringing her back, you know. She must have found something in those hours with me that made a difference to her. There…had to be something…"

I open my eyes and lean over, placing a light kiss on his half-smiling lips.

"I assure you, Renji, that there was something that drew her to you…and I think maybe it's not so different from my reasons for loving you. It sounds like you were a source of comfort and strength for her…a shelter."

He smiles at that.

"Yeah. I just wish I'd known. I guess she couldn't just tell me, though. She had to keep her identity secret to protect herself. But I feel lucky having had that time with her. I did love her, Byakuya. I was looking forward to the birth of her child. It was someone else who I wanted to love and protect. But it all came crashing down. One minute, we were sitting in the low branches of the tree, looking at the stars, and the next these guys appeared and beat the crap out of me…and they killed her. And at the time, I noticed that they took that pendant of hers. Byakuya, I just chalked it up to being another street death of the kind that was always happening in Inuzuri. I didn't know it was because of the baby…because of me. To know it was…"

"leaves you tempted to blame yourself. But don't Renji, you did all you could for her and for Takeo."

"Bya…what do I do about this kid? What do I do with the fact that he poisoned you…that he used me to do that? How do I deal with that? I have instincts that are protective. When I was there at the division office taking to him, I just kept thinking…how can I even think of sending him back for the pendant? Because when I think of doing that, it feels the same as the thought of sending Takeshi or Chisaki. My heart just accepts him as if he has always been my son, you know?"

"And so he has. Renji, don't feel bad about having protective feelings for your son. That is just the kind of person you are. You have wonderful protective instincts. I know how good it feels to be loved by you, protected by those instincts. I wouldn't expect any less."

"But what he did!"

"You don't know what he did, really. You need to talk to him, Renji. Only by doing that can you get past these worries of yours. He'll be here soon. When he comes, take him up to the waterfall. Talk to him, Renji. You might just find that you needn't have worried. And remember, whatever he may have done, he is your child still. You should still love your child, even when he or she has done something wrong. There is no shame in that."

He turns and there is a look of deep gratitude in his eyes.

"Thank you, Byakuya. Thanks for listening. You were right…It did help to sort things out."

"Good," I tell him, nuzzling deeper into his arms, "You listen to me, often enough. I'm glad I could return the favor."

He holds me until I fall asleep, but I wake again as he rises and walks over to the doors that open into the garden. I know he has a heavy heart. And even letting him release some of the weight won't bring him the comfort he needs. He needs to face his son. But while he waits for Takeo to arrive, he walks quietly out into the garden to think. I know when to go to him and when to give him space. I watch him from our bedroom, but let him have the space he needs to think things through.

XXXXXXXXXX

"Sir, Takeo has arrived from the 6th Division," the housekeeper tells me.

My son is here.

What the hell do I do with that?

"Arigato," I tell her, "Please bring him here to the garden."

"Yes sir."

I hear his approaching footsteps and all of the things I thought about saying just seem to disappear. As I turn and look at my son, I can't think of what to say. He just stands there, waiting for the vice captain's orders, not knowing the turn our lives are about to take.

"Takeo, thank you for being so quick to get here. Captain Kuchiki will be pleased to have your help. Now, if you'll come with me, I have a few things to discuss with you."

I take Byakuya's advice and we walk out the gate and onto the forest path. I can see that the beauty of it is not lost on my son. Like me, he seems enchanted by the beauty of it. He probably hasn't seen much that is so beautiful. He grew up a street kid, like me. He doesn't say anything, but I can see the curiosity building in his eyes. Perhaps he senses that something is about to happen. We arrive at the waterfall and I hear him catch his breath in amazement.

"It's beautiful…" he says softly.

"Yes…Takeo, sit down. We need to talk."

He sits beneath one of the cherry trees, watching the petals drift down on the breeze around him.

"Takeo…Byakuya and I…know who you are."

His eyes widen, but like any Rukon kid, he doesn't react immediately. He waits for me to say more. Smart kid.

"Takeo…Byakuya and I were informed yesterday…that you are the son of a woman named Kasumi."

"I…"

"Wait…let me finish."

He falls silent.

"I learned also that you are my son, Takeo."

"Yes sir," he says softly.

He stares at the ground.

"Look, we need to talk about what that means. Takeo, no one told me you were even born. I believed that your mother died before she could give birth to you. Were you aware of that?"

"Yes sir. I knew you were not told. My mother was worried it would endanger us if you were told. She thought she was protecting us both," he explains, his eyes still lowered.

"Takeo, you need to tell me, how long have you known she was your mother? When did you learn you were my son?"

Finally his brown eyes meet mine.

"I learned as a child who my mother was, but I only learned about you when I was sent to the 6th Division on a mission."

"A mission for Raiden's group?" I ask.

He lowers his eyes again.

"Yes sir."

I gather myself. I can't bear the weight of the question I must ask.

"Takeo, what was the mission that Raiden gave you?"

He's shaking. He probably doesn't know whose anger to fear more, Raiden's or mine.

"I was sent…to watch you. And to find some information that he thinks you have. He…gave me a special compound that I was to expose you to…"

How the hell can he say that so calmly?

"Vice Captain Abarai, sir, he told me that it would allow him to spy on you, to watch your movements…but he lied to me didn't he? Sir…that's why the captain is ill, isn't it?"

His eyes are filling with tears.

"The compound you exposed me to was a poison, Takeo," I tell him quietly, "It attached itself to my zanpakutou and to me, then it poisoned Byakuya and Senbonzakura."

He looks up at me with desperation in his eyes. He didn't know. He really didn't know…and this is killing him.

"I swear I didn't know it would do that! I swear I didn't know it would hurt anyone. I mean, I know the spying would have been a serious offense, but Raiden was suspicious. He suspected I was up to something and he made me do this to prove my loyalty. I don't think he knows you're my father…but he knows there is more to me than I have told him. So to test me, he sent me on this mission. I was to use the compound on you and your zanpakuto, then search for information he told me had been stolen from him."

"Did you know that the information he wants was stolen by your mother?"

"No…he wasn't that specific. But if I fail in this mission, he will kill me. He was, as I told you, already suspicious. But I've poisoned the captain. It's really bad, isn't it? Is that why his zanpakuto attacked him?"

"Yeah," I sigh.

There's no point in hiding it.

His shoulders shake softly with silent sobs.

"I didn't want to hurt anyone, sir," he says in a choked voice, "All I was trying to do was make him pay for killing my mom. Now I've done something even worse than what he did. Please believe me when I say I never wanted to hurt the captain. I never wanted to hurt you either."

"Takeo, who told you I am your father?" I ask.

"Michi. I told him that Raiden was sending me on this mission to make me prove my loyalty. It was then that he told me who you were. He wanted me to go into hiding, but we decided that it would be no use. Raiden would find me. We felt that the only thing we could do was to see this through and then when I went back, I was going to kill Raiden."

He looks out over the top of the waterfall.

"So what happens now? Are you going to arrest me? I won't resist. I hate what I did. I deserve it."

"Takeo," I say, placing a hand on his arm, "I don't know what will happen in the end, what punishment you may face for your actions, but…the fact is, I am your father. I wasn't given the chance to be there for you before. I want to do that now. I don't know how much you know about Kasumi and I, but I will tell you that I loved her. I didn't know who killed her or why…and I was never told about you. If I had been told, I wouldn't have left you. I would have wanted to be with you. So, I'll be with you now. You and I will find a way to make Raiden pay for what he did to Kasumi…and we will make him pay for what he's done to Byakuya."

"So…you're not going to arrest me?" he says, hope a mixture of guilt and hope in his eyes.

"No," I tell him softly, "We need your help, Takeo. Byakuya and I need your help to bring this guy down."

He looks up at me with a confused expression.

"But what can I do? I already told you that Raiden is suspicious. If I am not successful in finding the information he wants, then he will kill me. He told me you were an agent. He said you were helping to steal the information."

"I'm not now, nor have I ever been an agent. I was in love with your mother. That's all. She didn't give me the information you are looking for. Michi told me she kept it on a chip inside a blue pendant she always wore."

He gives a small gasp.

"Raiden has it, doesn't he?"

Takeo nods.

"I told Michi that Raiden suspected you were an agent working with my mom, but I wasn't specific with him about the information I was being sent to find. That's why Michi didn't make the connection about the pendant before. He must have figured it out after I left."

"But Raiden doesn't know what he has, Takeo. So we need you to get the pendant from him. I have an idea. We already know some of the information that was stored on that chip. I can give you a small amount of that to placate Raiden. It will buy us time. You can tell him that you have been given a position close to me. That will make you more valuable to him. He'll probably want you to watch me and report back to him."

"Can you tell me something?" he asks, "Why does Raiden want to watch you? Why did he attack the captain and not you?"

"Raiden may not have figured out who you are…" I tell him, "but apparently, he thinks I was working with your mother to trap him. He also was in love with her and he knew she was having a baby with someone else. It's a good bet that he guessed it was me. He attacked Byakuya because he knows it will hurt me. Takeo, you do know that the captain and I are life partners."

"Yes sir."

"Raiden wanted to kill Byakuya to hurt me. He used the method he did, because he wanted me to be the one who poisoned Byakuya. He wanted me to carry that guilt."

"It's even worse, though," Takeo says softly, "because he got me to betray my own father, too. Even if the compound had been what he said, I still would have been betraying you."

"Yeah, I know…and we'll deal with that. But right now, you and I have to focus on two things. We have to keep Byakuya alive until a cure can be found, and we have to get that pendant from Raiden, so we can make him pay for what he did to Kasumi. Will you help me, Takeo?"

"Yes sir."

"Takeo, when this is over…when we've made Raiden pay, then I want to get to know you better. I want to know my son. I want you to know your father. We'll do that."

He nods.

But there's a lot that has to happen before we reach that point.