Chapter 16

The water was warm and deliciously scented. Janeway sighed in contentment and slid deeper, feeling it soothe the latent aches and pains of her recent experiences. No one could argue that the Doctor's treatments weren't expert and that sonic showers weren't supremely efficient… but in her book, nothing compared to a hot bath. She'd already been in this one five minutes too long, but… she could steal another five minutes, couldn't she? Just this once?

Almost forty-eight hours had passed since the events that had seen Voyager regain its slightly battered command team, though to Janeway it seemed like less, partly because at least some of that time she had spent unconscious in Sickbay as the Doctor patched her up. The EMH had accepted her apology for her brusque treatment of him with, if not with quite what one could call good grace, than at least some level of understanding. She suspected someone might have had a word while she was still out for the count – Chakotay, probably. She smiled at the thought. They hadn't really had time to talk since their return. At some point they would both need a full de-brief and each would also need to fit in some proper recovery time. But, as was always the case aboard Voyager, there was currently too much else that needed their urgent attention.

Her door chime sounded. The Captain uttered a slight groan. That would be the Doctor with her latest dose of antibiotics to stave off the onset of the bacterial pneumonia he'd detected in her lungs. He'd wanted her to go to Sickbay to have it administered, but she had bargained him down to making it a house call so that she could get some rest and catch up on some reports. This was why she should have been out of the tub ten minutes ago…

"Come in!" she called as she reluctantly stood and reached for a towel. She heard the doors hush open and shut, and then a brief silence.

"Captain?"

She was surprised by the unexpected voice. "Chakotay?"

"I'm sorry – is this a bad time?"

Janeway stepped out of the bath and hurriedly towelled herself before grabbing her robe. "Ah - no, no, it's fine. Sorry, I'm expecting the Doctor. I thought you'd be him."

"Yes – I know. He's deputised me for the evening."

Tying her robe and throwing a fresh towel over her wet hair, she moved to the bathroom doorway to see Chakotay, in uniform, standing uncertainly in the dimmed light of her quarters. "Sorry?"

Her first officer held up a hypospray. "I said I was coming this way anyway. But – it wasn't anything very urgent, other than the meds, so I can leave them with you and just…" he indicated the door.

Janeway smiled, beginning to rub her hair dry. "It's fine," she told him, laughing a little. "I think it's safe to say that you've already seen me at my worst, Commander. Take a seat. Would you like something to drink? Have you eaten?"

Chakotay crossed to the sofa beneath her window as she dropped the towel over the side of the bath and then went to the replicator.

"Tea would be lovely. But yes, I've eaten, thank you – Neelix seems determined to feed me every 30 minutes. He keeps sending me food parcels. I think he's tracking my combadge, because wherever I am, something edible will suddenly materialise beside me."

Janeway laughed, replicating his tea and her coffee before moving to take a seat beside him. "Yes – he's doing the same for me. Not that I'm complaining." She sighed. "An experience like that does wonders for making you appreciate what you have, doesn't it?"

Chakotay smiled and sipped his tea. "It does. And speaking of appreciation – one reason I'm here is to thank you."

She raised an eyebrow in question.

"I hear you threw some pretty heavy punches to get me out of there," he explained. "Members of the bridge crew keep stopping me to tell me their version of it. It's fast becoming a legend." Chakotay grinned. "I believe Tom Paris described you as – what was the exact word he used? That's right - 'magnificent'."

Janeway hid her smile behind the lip of her mug as she looked up at him. "What can I say? Give me a bridge full of good people and a clear objective and I can do anything. Stick me in a dark hole, and…" She trailed off with a shrug, taking a moment to appreciate Chakotay's newly clean-shaven face as she leaned forward to put her mug down on the table.

"Well, thank you, Captain. Your magnificent efforts are much appreciated," he teased, as she rolled her eyes. "How are you feeling? Have your ribs healed? You gave me quite a scare for a moment yesterday."

Janeway waved a hand, "Oh, fine, thank you." She'd been somewhat embarrassed to learn that she'd passed out in full view of the bridge crew. Thank god she'd managed to hold it together until she'd ended visual contact with the Vorbrath. "The Doctor fixed me up in no time. Although having said that…" She reached for the hypospray that lay beside her mug.

"Let me," Chakotay said, holding out his hand.

She passed him the 'spray and tipped her head to one side so that he could reach her neck. Chakotay took a moment to brush away the damp strands of her hair with his fingers and then pressed the device to her skin. Janeway heard it hiss as the medication flooded into her veins. Once it was done, Chakotay rubbed his thumb gently over her skin - a light touch that seemed to linger a little before he moved back. The moment left her a little confused and she leaned forward, picking up her mug again.

"How are our guests?" Janeway asked, taking refuge in duty.

Her first officer nodded. "Doing well. The Dorai we have aboard seem pretty content, all things considered."

She made a sound in her throat. "They're just grateful to be free and returning to their families. Families they should have returned to weeks ago, would have, if I'd only taken the time…"

"You can't solve every problem in the Delta Quadrant."

"No, but I can at least try to do something about the ones that cross directly into Voyager's path. If I'd taken the time to investigate, I would have known that the Dorai were the Vorbrath's slave race. If we'd known that – and even if we hadn't, if we'd just done something about it – if…"

Chakotay reached out and took her hand, prising it away from where it gripped her mug. "'If' is a terrible word, Kathryn. A word to torture yourself with. We've done what we can."

She shook her head. "We owe them so much, Chakotay. Without the Dorai slave that was willing to be a go-between for Tuvok, we'd never have made it out of there. She risked her life, and she wasn't the only one. They helped all of us, despite what a desperate situation they were all in, and even after they had been terrorised by the Vorbrath into drugging us in the first place. I'm worried that the Dorai won't ever be safe - that the Vorbrath will go looking for vengeance once their ships are repaired."

He gave a soft laugh, stroking his thumb over her knuckle. "If what I've heard about your display to Riktat is true, the Vorbrath will be too terrified to even contemplate crossing the dreaded Captain Janeway again."

She looked at their entwined hands. For three weeks, such gestures had been of vital importance to them both. Kathryn wondered how long it was going to take before they each cured themselves of the need to physically reach for the other. Chakotay seemed to sense what she was thinking, because he let go of her hand and laid his arm along the back of the sofa, instead.

"How are you coping with everything else that happened?" he asked, softly.

She finished her coffee. "Oh, you know - one day at a time. Or one hour at a time, even. I think I'm still processing it all. What I can't really get into my head is that we were only down there for three weeks. I could have sworn it was three times that."

He nodded. "I know, it's the same for me. I suppose we've learned first-hand just how subjective time can be. Not to mention how accustomed you can become to some things."

"What do you mean?"

Chakotay looked away, still smiling although the gesture had become somewhat hesitant. "I got into a proper bed for the first time in far too long last night. Went to sleep immediately… only to find myself wide awake just three hours later."

"Ahh," said Janeway. "Yes, it's inevitable that it'll take us both some time to adjust back into our normal routines…"

Chakotay shook his head. "It wasn't that. I opened my eyes… and I realised that for the first time in weeks, I couldn't hear you breathing beside me." He looked back at her with another quiet smile. "After that… I just couldn't get back to sleep. My quarters seemed too big. Too empty."

Janeway glanced away, slightly floored by the intimacy of his statement. "Well," she said, "I'm sure that's something I will have to contend with, too. When I finally get to sleep in my own quarters, that is. Haven't actually managed it yet…"

Silence hung between them for a few seconds, during which she became aware of two things: the accelerating beat of her heart, and the fact that her mind had taken her, unbidden, back to that moment in the dark when their lips had met in the whisper of a kiss so brief and yet so potent that she'd swear she could still feel it.

Chakotay, oblivious, got to his feet. "Well, Captain – I think that's my cue to leave you to get a decent night's sleep." He smiled down at her and began to head for the door.

Kathryn stood too, hugging herself tightly, wishing she were in her uniform and not just her bath robe. "Commander… Wait…"

He stopped and turned as she moved a little towards him.

She took a breath, trying to find the right words. "Chakotay… I think, perhaps – that there might be some aspects of our experience in that cell that… need discussing. As your Captain, I'm aware that my conduct may not always have been completely-" She stopped talking. Chakotay was slowly shaking his head. "What?"

He stepped closer and smiled down at her. "Is this… about the kiss?"

She blinked. "Yes. As I said, I'm aware that-"

"I knew you'd be worrying about that," he cut her off, reaching out to place his hands on her arms, pulling her a little closer. "Kathryn… It was just a kiss. Hardly that, even. It's nothing to worry about. We were in awful circumstances. Circumstances that we got through, in one piece – together." He smiled, the amusement in his eyes overlaying something else that she couldn't quite define. "Stop beating yourself up about nothing. It's already forgotten. Get some sleep."

Janeway choked off the sudden pulse in her heart with a smile. "What would I do without you, Chakotay?"

"Spend more time falling down mineshafts, for one thing."

She laughed. The sound resolved into a sigh, and then a warm smile. "Good night, Commander."

"Good night, Captain. Sleep well."

A moment later the door shut behind him. Janeway stood still for a moment, the hum of Voyager's familiar form of silence rising around her. Then she turned and began to wander back towards her window, her gaze roving from star to passing star as the pinpricks of lights smudged tiny flare-bright trails in the ship's speeding wake.

It seemed to take her a very long time to cross the floor.

[END]

A/N: Right. Here's the thing: if this was an episode, this is where it would end. So you could stop reading here – and if you like your fic to slot into canon, then that's what you should do. If not, then read on – there's one more little chapter to come for you. So for those of you in the latter camp, this is also…

[TBC]