I must apologize for the little delay, because like I said, June is going to be a busy month. And probably July too. So I might only be updating once or twice a week. I'm sad about it too, because I really love writing.

Anyway, here the update. Emjoy!

It was a bright sunny day in Malibu and for whatever reason, I was in a particularly good mood today. I knew it was work day, and I wasn't even looking forward to that. It had been days since Natsume and I were "buddies." I found it more comfortable talking to him about things (except for the ocean thing). And we got along pretty well. On the other hand, my relationship with Hotaru was confusing. She never talked to me again after that day when she asked me why I was early to work. And I didn't either. It was easier that way, better than practically talking to a wall.

I walked in to Tony's Ice Cream shop and saw that Hotaru was already there. Usually I was earlier than her, so it was a bit odd to me that she was seated at a table, finishing a cup of Starbucks coffee.

"Hey," I said. I always greet her when she comes in, and usually I would just get a nod in reply, or no reply at all.

"Hey," she said, surprising me. She stood up, threw her coffee in the trash, and walked over to me by the entrance. "Can I ask you something?"

This was a first. "Sure," I replied, cautiously.

"Are you free tonight?"

I blinked at her. Did I just hear her right?

When I wasn't able to answer, she sighed. "Ruka's throwing this party at the beach later, I thought maybe you'd like to come."

She thought maybe I'd like to come. Does it mean that Ruka didn't force her to invite me? She didn't seem chagrined. Just a little... embarrassed maybe? Whoa. Weird.

"Sure," I replied.

"Be there at seven." And with that, she proceeded to the counter and ignored me for the whole day.

"I mean, it's just weird," I was telling my mom that day, after I got home from work. Since I had realized that the clothes I brought here aren't really summer clothes, I didn't have anything to wear for Ruka's party. So Mom let me raid her closet. "Why would she talk to me all of a sudden? I'm sure she made it clear that she hates me."

"She doesn't hate you," Mom said, as she took out a dress from a rack. She showed it to me. It was a blue strapless dress. I shook my head at it. "Remind me to take you shopping for summer clothes."

"She does, Mom. I mean, she completely ignored me for weeks. Weeks! Then she suddenly invites me to her boyfriend's party, claiming that he didn't force her to do it. Well, she didn't really 'claim' anything, but still. It's beyond weird."

"I'm sorry, but who is this boyfriend?"

I sighed, and sat on on the carpeted floor in my mom's closet. "Ruka."

"Really?" she said, sounding surprised. "Huh, so that explains why they were always together during that steak out..."

Things between my mom and I have been going smoothly since that day I apologized to her. And I gotta say, I did miss this relationship we had. Where we could talk to each other comfortably. I hadn't realized that I completely shut my parents out. But I was working on building those relationships up again.

"I don't even know if I want to go to this thing," I muttered.

"What are you talking about? You're going. You said yes to her invitation, and wouldn't it be a bit rude if you didn't show up? And don't worry. I'm sure I've got something perfect here."

I sighed again. I've been doing a lot of that lately. It's not that I didn't want to be there, because I do want my friendship back with Hotaru, but I what if I was just getting my hopes up again? What if she only invited me because she felt sorry for me? But on the other hand, if she did hate me, why would she care at all? So maybe everyone was right. Hotaru didn't hate me. Sometimes, I just feel dumb.

"Perfect!" I jumped at my mother's exclamation, and saw that she was holding out a pink, spaghetti-strapped, floral sundress that had an empire waist. It wasn't really my type of clothing, but I had to admit, it was pretty.

"Yeah, it is," I said in agreement. "How come I never saw you wear that before?"

Mom had a guilty look on her face. "I bought it when we were still in Tokyo. It reminded me of you when I saw it, so I just had to buy it. I just, um, never had the chance to give it to you."

Now it my turn to be guilty. Had I really been that cruel that my own mother couldn't give me a dress? "Mom—"

She held her hand up, stopping me. "I know, honey. And it's okay." She handed the dress over to me. "It's all yours."

I stood up from the floor, and hugged her. "Thanks, Mom."

"Oh and you have to braid that long hair of yours," she said, when we separated. "And I suppose you packed a bathing suit with you, right? You have to put it under your clothes."

Even if my relationship with my mom had progressed, I still couldn't tell her I was afraid of being in water. I never told anybody yet. And I wasn't sure how long I could keep this up. "Um, as a matter of fact, I think I did forget to pack bathing suits," I told her. "But it's fine, really. I don't plan on going swimming tonight."

She stared at me, perplexed. "You didn't bring bathing suits? Not even a single one?"

Okay, the truth was I did bring one. But I wasn't planning on wearing that anytime soon. I shook my head in reply. "I guess it just slipped my mind. But like I said, it's no problem."

"But you're going to a beach party," she argued.

"And I'll be hanging out at the shore. Where it's sandy." I quickly thanked her for the dress again, and practically ran back to my room. Where it's sandy? God, Mikan.

Ruka's house was not that far away from mine, so when I went outside, I could hear the music and the laughter of people from a distance. I had to say, I did miss my party girl life in Tokyo. But only a little bit. No way was I getting myself drunk again. I was about to walk on there, when I saw Natsume coming out of his house, dressed in a white polo shirt and khakis shorts.

"Hey there," I said. I didn't see him this afternoon, but he didn't seem surprised to see me. Maybe he thought Ruka was the one who invited me himself.

"Hey, you look nice," he commented.

I should have brushed off his compliment like I normally do with others, but for some reason, the way he said it made my cheeks flush. I felt alarmed by this reaction. It's just Natsume, Mikan, I thought to myself. "Thanks," I replied. "You don't look too bad yourself."

He smiled at me and we started the short walk to Ruka's house.

"So, Hotaru invited me," I said. "Like, this morning. It was weird. She just came up to me and talked to me. In a non-hostile way."

Natsume gasped exaggeratedly. "Not the Hotaru we know!"

I laughed and smacked his arm. "I'm serious. I mean, why would she do that?"

"For the record," he said, rubbing the part of his arm where I hit him, "that really hurt. And let's see. Why would Hotaru do such a thing? Hmmm. Maybe she wants to start a war? Or maybe she wants to end a nonexistent one?"

I rolled my eyes at him. The closer we got, the more he was returning to his old cocky self. And I liked that. Nice guys are way overrated. "Hilarious."

"Look, I may not know Hotaru like you did, but I know she wouldn't give up on someone important in her life." When I gave him a questioning look, he raised his arms in defense. "Ruka's words, my friend. But still. I believe him. And I know that you're important to her even after what happened between you two. So for the last time, Hotaru doesn't hate you."

I really did want to believe him. But ever since that horrible dream I had of Tsubasa, I vowed myself to never expect anything from anyone. Or anything. That way, no one gets hurt. So I just gave Natsume a shrug in reply, and he didn't say anything after that.

"Hey kiddo!" Ruka engulfed me in an embrace. "Glad you could make it!"

I grinned at him, and looked around for Hotaru. She was over by the pier, sitting by herself. If she really didn't despise me, then I needed to talk to her. Ruka glanced behind him, then back at me. "Go," he said. "Talk to her."

"Thanks," I answered, then walked towards the pier.

"Hey."

Hotaru glanced behind her, clearly surprised to see me standing there. For once, her expression wasn't stoic. "Hey," she replied.

"Why aren't you at the party?" I asked.

"I needed some quiet time."

I nodded. "Mind if I sit?"

"Go ahead."

I sat beside her, both of our feet dangling from the edge. A wave of nostalgia hit me during that moment. I wanted to be a kid again, where everything was so simple. Where hanging out at the pier with my best friend made my day.

"Do you remember when we were kids where and we always hung out here?" I said. "That was relaxing."

"Of course I did," she said, quietly. "And do you remember that time when Natsume hit your head with a Frisbee and you fell in the water?"

I laughed. Of all memories, why did she have to bring that one up? "Yeah. That was the day when..." I trailed off, realizing that I was about to say, "the day when I developed a crush on Natsume Hyuuga."

"The day when what?" Hotaru asked.

I hesitated, then decided that I should tell her. I mean, it was ages ago. And that silly crush was long gone. "Okay, but you have to promise not to laugh."

She cocked an eyebrow at me. "This should be interesting."

I took a deep breath. "That day, I realized that I had a crush on Natsume."

I expected that she laugh, despite what I said. But she just rolled her eyes at me. "Oh. I know, dummy."

My mouth fell open. "You knew?" My heart warmed a little when she called me "dummy." It was her version of a term of endearment to me.

"Duh," she said, matter-of-factly. "You're my best friend. It was pretty obvious to me. Although if I remember correctly, that day was also the day when we made our oath to not fall in love with a boy."

I groaned in embarrassment. "Was I really that obvious?"

"Mikan, I can practically see your heart pounding through your chest every time he walks in the room." My eyes widened. "Kidding," she added. "But you get fidgety, and flustered. It only took me a week to realize that you sold me out."

"You're not mad are you?" I said.

She actually laughed and shook her head. "No. Although I want to know one thing."

"What?"

"Do you still like him?"

"No!" I exclaimed. "Of course not. That was just a childhood crush. Nothing more. I'm completely over it."

"Are you sure? Because he looks better now if you ask me." She glanced behind her, and I followed. We saw Natsume laughing with a bunch of guys in the distance.

"I am aware of that," I replied. "I mean come on. A lifeguard? Who would've thought? But those feelings are long gone. I promise."

Hotaru just shrugged, as if telling me, "Let's go with that."

We stayed in silence for a few minutes. But it wasn't awkward at all. It felt nice to have this comfortable silence between us. After weeks of one-sided conversations and single-worded answers, Hotaru and I finally had an easy-going conversation. It was like nothing had changed. But at the same time, everything did too.

"Hotaru?" I said, quietly. "Do you still... hate me?"

"I never hated you," she answered, without skipping a beat. "I was angry, yes. Upset, yes. Hurt, yes. But I never hated you."

When she didn't continue, I asked, "But that day at your front porch. I was sure I was the nastiest thing on the planet to you."

She shook her head. "I was mad that day. When you didn't show up to dinner the night before, I thought you really didn't want to see me, which confirmed why you never called back. So, yeah I kinda poured out my anger on you. Well, you know me, I have an attitude problem. Then, later when I found out about the life you had in Tokyo—Ruka told me—I got jealous. Like your life was so much better without me. That you've completely forgotten about your best friend. So I let you go on with that life."

I stared at her, completely a loss at words. She was jealous of my life in Tokyo? But I hated my life there. To be honest, I was already feeling at home here again.

"I'm so sorry," I said. "I thought the same thing. That you didn't need me anymore. That's why I didn't call back. And I really should have. That's one of my biggest regrets." My biggest regret was I should have convinced Tsubasa to stay indoors during that day. I still couldn't shake off the guilt inside me. Another thing I've kept to myself.

"Are you still angry?" I asked, when she didn't answer.

She shook her head.

It was like something heavy has been lifted off my shoulders. But I still felt something weighing down on them. "Are we friends again?"

She shook her head once more, and my shoulders felt heavier again. "I don't think we can ever get our old friendship back," she said.

I nodded. She was right though. Like I kept on saying over and over again, everything had changed.

"But we can work our way to a new one," she added. I could hear the smile in her voice.

I smiled back at her, then laughed. "Starting now?" I held out my hand.

She shook it, as if sealing a deal. "Absolutely."

Okay, I did expect a little that we would be the best of friends again, just like before. But I figured that we've both evolved into different persons now. And going back down that road would be rocky. Besides, it felt good to have a fresh start. Like they say, one baby step at a time.

Now I know what you're thinking. When will Mikan and Natsume's relationship start? It's been 15 chapters already.

Yeah, I couldn't believe it myself, but I will get there. One baby step at a time. Lol. This is me quoting myself, quoting another person. Kaykay, 'til the next update. Ciao!~ xx