Hey there! Yep, this is me updating late. Looks like I'll only be updating once a week now. I feel so bad. Anyway, here's the latest chapter! Enjoy x

"Are you sure you're okay?"

"Yes," I replied. But I still felt sick to my stomach. When Natsume caught up with me after I ran from him, he had to see the not so pretty sight of me puking my guts out. God, I had to stop associating my vomit with Natsume. Jesus. He was driving the both of us home and apologizing every five seconds.

"I am so sorry, Mikan," he said for the eighth time. "I didn't know you were sick. I shouldn't have taken you out tonight."

"Stop," I told him, for also the eighth time. "It's not your fault. I didn't know I was sick today. It's probably the flu or something. I'll be fine, don't worry about it."

He glanced at me worriedly. "Are you sure? Do you need me take you to the hospital?"

"No," I said, mortified. I pictured him rushing me to the ER just because I had a mental breakdown. "I think I just need to sleep it off."

"Okay, we're almost there."

Minutes later, we pulled over in front of our houses, and he immediately walked to the passenger's side, and opened the door for me. My head still felt woozy, but other than that, I was fine. But mostly embarrassed to death.

"Well," I said, when we were both in front of my house, "that get-together-of-two-people went well."

"What are you talking about? I had fun."

I rolled my eyes, and lightly smacked his shoulder. "Shut up. I totally ruined it. And this is like the billionth time you saved my ass."

"Not true," he said. "I only did that once. The last time and tonight, I only drove you home."

"Thank you, anyway. It means a lot."

There was a silence between us, and I noticed Natsume was staring at me. Which for some reason, made my cheeks flush.

"Well, I better go," I said. "Thanks for tonight, even if it sucked for you."

He shook his head. "It didn't suck for me."

"Didn't suck for me, either." My eyes flickered to his lips for a second, then I cleared my throat. "Um, thanks again. Good night."

"Wait."

I looked at him, and he just stared back at me. But there was something else in his eyes. Something I've never seen before. I couldn't quite describe it yet, but it sent electricity jolting through my whole body.

"Good night," he said.

I waited. Was that all? Did I want I want more? My feelings were all screwed up again. We just stared at each other for two more seconds, until I cleared my throat once again. "Good night," I replied.

When I was in the safety of my room, I was breathless. Mostly because I ran all the way here, but that moment with Natsume a while ago, I felt like the whole universe shifted. I looked around me, and saw that my room was exactly the way it was when I left it earlier. But one thing's for sure: I wasn't the same anymore. Not after that.

I couldn't sleep last night. I only slept for like fifteen minutes, because I spent all night thinking back to that moment I had with Natsume. As much as I'd hate to admit it, it was something that was impossible to overlook. It wasn't just a stupid crush anymore. It was way more than that. I wanted him. I wanted him to put his arms around me and brush his lips against mine...

"Mikan."

I suddenly jolted up, wide awake. It took me a while to remember where I was. My cap was covering half of my face, so I took it off and it slid across the counter. I literally fell asleep on the job for the second time today. I was surprised Hotaru wasn't chewing my ass out for it.

"Sorry," I muttered, sitting up. My head was buried in my arms earlier while I was sleeping on the counter. Thank God it was almost closing time.

"You look horrible. What happened to you?"

"I didn't get any sleep last night. As in at all. I slept for like fifteen minutes or something."

"Why?"

I hesitated, my cheeks flushing. Damn it, I was dreaming about him again. Jesus. "Um, I guess I drank a lot of coffee or something."

Hotaru arched an eyebrow at me. "Oh? Then why are you blushing?"

My hand immediately flew to my right cheek. It was warm, all right. "I'm not. It's just warm here. Hey, aren't we supposed to close up or something?"

"Ten minutes," she answered. "Now tell me what's up. We are not leaving this place until you do."

I winced. I wanted to tell her badly. But what if she'll laugh at my face? Or worse, she would say, "Oh. I know." Then that would mean, I was the most open book in the history of the universe.

"Tell me, Sakura," she said, her voice almost reaching threatening. "Five, four, three—"

"Okay! You don't have to freaking count. You know how that still freaks me out." I sighed. "Fine. I will tell you. But only if you come with me. I need to tell you something else."

Now, that came right out of my mouth at that moment. If I was going to tell someone about my fear, it would definitely be Hotaru. She examined me for a moment, and let out a sigh. "Okay."

Half-an-hour later, I led Hotaru to the pier. It was a quiet afternoon for some reason, the boats were docking on the other side of the beach. I looked down, and felt the nausea again. I took a deep breath.

"Why did you take me here?" Hotaru asked.

"So we can talk privately."

"Okay," she said, slowly. "What did you want to tell me?"

After taking in a deep breath, I began to tell her. I kept my eyes on her the whole time, and she did the same. Sometimes my gaze would wander to the sea, and my insides would churn. I didn't get it. Was it last night at the cliff that triggered my breaking point? It took all my will not to run away from this pier. I felt relieved when I was finished. Again, something heavy was lifted off my chest. It felt gratifying having told someone about it.

"Why didn't you tell me sooner?" Hotaru said, when I was done. We were now seated at the front porch steps of her house. She convinced we should continue talking there instead.

"I don't know," I admitted. "I didn't tell anyone about it. Not even my parents. Before, I didn't want anyone to know because I think it's a weakness. I still think it is, but honestly, I guess I should have told someone sooner. And you know, my family's doing good now and we're getting along so well, I didn't want to include my problems in it. My parents deserve happiness too. It's been a long time."

"Mikan, being afraid of something doesn't make you weak. It makes you human. And you deserve happiness just as they do. I know you can overcome this. You have always been so strong."

I wanted to tell her otherwise. I wasn't even close to being strong. My mother was strong. But I lived a pathetic life for two years playing self-pity because I was too weak to be strong for my family. But I just stayed silent.

"You're still not telling me something," she said.

"Really? I swear I told you everything."

"No, not about that. You still didn't tell me why you were up all night. I'm guessing it's something different that what we were just talking about. So, spill."

My cheeks immediately flushed. And... there was that other thing with Natsume. I didn't know if I could even tell her anything, because I was still clueless on the subject.

"Oh my God," she said, when she saw me blushing. "I think I know what this is about."

She knew me so well. "You do?"

"Yes. But I want to hear it from you."

I sighed. Since she obviously got it more figured out than I did (which happened most of the time, really), there was no point not telling her. "Okay," I said. "Do you remember the other day when Natsume asked me if I was free last night? Well, we sort of went on a... date. Although we both agreed it wasn't one, I mean, it is considered a date if you're going out with a guy alone right? And that's what we did. So—"

"Hold up," she interrupted. "You went on a date with Hyuuga?"

"Yes?" I said, in a small voice.

Her eyes narrowed. "Go on."

I told her about what happened on that cliff, and how I puked myself to the bottom. Literally. And since it was impossible lying to Hotaru (mostly because she could always tell when I was), I didn't leave out the part when we both said "Good night" to each other, and that being the reason why I didn't get any sleep.

"Holy shit. You are so screwed."

I moaned, and buried my head on my knees. "I know. I mean, I don't even like him anymore! It's all so messed up."

"Oh I see what's the problem," she said. "Obviously, it's not a stupid puppy-love anymore. You're mature now, and so is he. I know what's going on inside that pretty head of yours."

"What?"

She smirked at me, and whispered in my ear, "Lust."

I gasped and backed away. I was blushing deeply this time. I felt like my face was going to explode any time soon. "No way," I told her.

She shrugged. "You're seventeen, Mikan. All teenagers feel that. It's nothing to be ashamed about."

"But it's Natsume!" I hissed.

"So? Even if we aren't exactly buddy-buddies, it's undeniable that the dude is hot. I mean, compared to when we were kids. Puberty did him well. But since I'm dating Ruka, I'll have to be biased, and say that my boyfriend is way hotter."

I stared at her, dumbfounded. I never thought I'd hear her use "hot" and "Natsume" in one sentence. "I think, it was just the spur of the moment, and we were just got carried away. I mean, I felt woozy, and he probably felt tired. I'm sure he forgot all about it already. And starting now, I'm going to forget about it too."

"So you're just going to ignore it?"

"Hotaru," I said, "Natsume and I are never going to happen. I'm sure he made that clear when he said I was just like a sister to him. Which is fine, because that's how I want things to be. No complications."

"Okay," she said, slowly. "It's your call. But promise me you won't hyperventilate, because here he comes."

My eyes widened, as I looked up and saw Natsume heading our way. He wasn't shirtless today, which meant he wasn't on duty. And I somehow felt disappointed by this fact... I quickly snapped out of it. God, Mikan. I honestly felt like hyperventilating at the sight of him. This was so frustrating. I didn't like him for God's sake! He's my brother's best friend, no matter what. And those are always off-limits, like your best friend's ex.

"Hey," he said. "What are you guys doing way over here?"

"Talking," Hotaru replied for me. "Which you interrupted by the way."

"No, it's fine," I said, glaring at her.

Natsume just smiled at me. "So, are you feeling better?"

"Oh yeah," I replied, a little to perkily. "I'm great. It was probably just food poising. I'm fine now."

"Are you sure? Because you look sort of tired..."

"Well, we just got back from work so," Hotaru said.

"Yeah, it was tiring." Man, this conversation was awkward.

"Right." He turned to me. "Okay, then. I just came here to tell you guys that we, the lifeguards, are having this camping trip this weekend. We have it every year, for some reason that is still unknown to us. But personally, I think it's because our boss uses it for therapy, I don't know. Anyway, the point it is, we're allowed to invite one friend and I was wondering maybe you'd like to come?"

I blinked several times. Was he asking me out, again? Or maybe it was to make up for that date last night that I profusely ruined. Before I could react, Hotaru chimed in. "Oh yeah. I have heard of that. Ruka invited me yesterday."

"Why didn't you tell me," I muttered under my breath.

She shrugged. "I think you should come, Mikan. Those camping trips might sound lame, but they're actually awesome."

"Only because you and Ruka shared you own tent last year and you 'went to bed' earlier than everybody," Natsume said, wrinkling his nose. "We all could actually hear you."

I stifled a laugh, as Hotaru was unbothered by this. "Whatever. This year, I'm sharing a tent with Mikan. Right, Mikan?"

"I don't even know if I'm going," I said, then turned to Natsume. "Why don't you take Aoi? I'm sure she'd enjoy it."

"I took her last year," he said, looking a little hurt. "And the year before that."

"Yep," Hotaru said. "While the other guys brought their girlfriends, he was there with his sister."

I ignored the little triumph within in me when he went with Aoi and not Misaki. Instead, I felt a little guilty. "Okay," I said. "I'll go. It sounds like fun." Plus, it reminded me of my camping trips with Tsubasa.

Natsume grinned, and from the corner of my eye, I saw Hotaru smirking. I was so going to kill her for this.

"Great," he said. "See you Saturday." And with that, he sped off, his enthusiasm visibly showing.

Hotaru clucked her tongue. "Man, this is going to be fun weekend."

"You are so dead," I hissed.

She laughed. "Ooohh, I'm so scared. Mikan, you and I both know you can't beat the shit out of me."

She was right, although I wasn't planning on beating her up. "You are going to stick to me like glue the whole time we're there, do you understand me? No 'fun-with-Ruka-after-dark.'"

"Sure," she said. "But if you want to have your fun-after-dark with Natsume, then that's fine with me too."

My cheeks immediately flushed at that. "That is so not going to happen," I said, darkly.

It's official. I was so screwed.

Prepare for some MikanxNatsume moments in the next chapter you guyssss! Hahaha consider it as my gift. Lol. But my next update will probably be next week, so I hope you guys are patient with me :) 'til the next update! Ciao!~ x