Hey guys! Okay so first of all, I have to apologize for my super late update. Like seriously school started like a month ago, and I was literally filled with stuff to do. Anyway, since I love you guys I wrote this at Starbucks when I was supposed to do my history paper. But it's all good you know, it's all good. And I know I'm talking too much, so here it is! I hope you guys enjoy it x

"Let's see. Fine arts, English, Political Science, Chinese Lit? What? And oh my God, I didn't know they had Medieval Studies here! Why did I not see this when I applied? I am not kidding you. Maybe I should take this up instead of Medicine..."

I let out a sigh as I plopped down on Hotaru's bed. It was a Sunday, a few days after that lake experience with Natsume. My mom was pestering me already to figure out my major since I still had no idea. She was still disappointed that I wouldn't go for a swimming scholarship, so I could get in a college already and worry about my major later. So now I was hanging out at Hotaru's room once again because I called her for help, and she gladly shared with me some brochures from Stanford University in Los Angeles, since she already got early admission.

"What about Architecture?" Hotaru went on. "But you really weren't good at drawing... No offense."

"None taken," I replied, as I sat back up again. Hotaru was sprawled on the floor, along with the brochures around her. My eyes suddenly flickered to her roof, and my cheeks grew warm, remembering that night.

"You okay?" she said, staring at me. "You seem out of it, lately."

"It's nothing."

She got up from the floor, and sat down beside me. "I know you, Mikan. You aren't even focused on our conversation right now. This is about Natsume, isn't it?"

She knew me so well. There was really no point keeping anything from her. "I guess," I replied. I already filled her in with our little make-out session a few weeks ago, and now told her about Natsume's situation. "Do you know anything about it? Like did he mention anything to you while I was gone?"

"Hyuuga and I aren't buddy-buddies, okay. Just because I'm dating his best friend, doesn't mean that he automatically becomes my best friend too."

"Yeah, what is up that?" I asked her. "I mean, even when we were kids you didn't like him."

"It's not that I don't like him. I just... I don't know, I never really got to know him. We would all hang-out sometimes, with Ruka, but we don't actually talk. He just sits there and has like, a world of his own."

"He does?" I said, surprised. I thought that during that time I left, that was when he began to change.

Hotaru looked at me with a confused expression. "Yeah, don't you remember from when we were kids? He would always pick on you. And that just added to the list of why I didn't-like-him-but-sort-of-not-not-liking-him."

"Right," I said, slowly. "But now he's so different. He's nicer and more mature..."

"That just happened right when you came back here. I don't know, Ruka was shocked too of this change in attitude, but he went with it, and so did I."

I suddenly remembered something he told me before when he explained to me his deal with Misaki. He was miserable during that two years after my brother died. And I have been too self-absorbed in my own problems that I didn't even think about what he was going through.

"The lifeguarding?" I asked, once more.

"He's been doing that even before you came," Hotaru replied.

"Hotaru, I have to figure this out. Whatever he's hiding from me, it's killing him too. And I don't care if it's going to hurt me, because trust me, I have been hurt enough."

"Being hurt isn't like this one-time-thing," she said. "If you've been hurt before, it's going to happen again. You're still going to feel pain. You can't avoid it. And I can't see you like that again, Mikan, okay?"

"I don't want to see him, hurting, Hotaru," I told her.

"I don't want to see you hurting, either."

"Just let me figure this out, okay? If this has anything to do with me or Tsubasa then I'm definitely going to be involved."

"Mikan, I doubt this is about you at all," she said. "Maybe you should just stay out of it."

She was right. This wasn't my business, whatever it was. Natsume and I haven't spoken in two years. Maybe it was a family-related problem. Maybe I was just too paranoid.

I sighed. "Yeah, maybe."

Natsume was avoiding me.

I noticed this as, on my may to work for the third time that week, Natsume wasn't at his post. So this was how it felt like. I immediately felt terrible about avoiding him before. I searched the beach for him, but I saw his sister instead. Aoi was with her friends, and they were all sprawled on a giant towel. She saw me, then she waved. I waved back, and she approached me. She was wearing an orange bikini underneath her white, sheer cover-up. Her hair was damp, but it looked good on her.

"Mikan, hey!" she said, giving me a hug. "Been busy lately?"

"Yeah," I replied. "What's up?"

"Oh the usual. I feel like I haven't seen you in forever! How're things?"

Complicated, I wanted to reply. "College stuff. Pretty hectic."

"Yikes," she said, making a face. "I've seen that phase on Natsume before and let me just say, he wasn't the only one who was stressed."

"Yeah, where is he anyway?" I asked, nonchalantly. "Isn't he supposed to be on duty?"

"He was still sleeping when I left the house." Then, Aoi grinned playfully at me. "Wait a minute, is there something going on between you two?"

"Who, Natsume?" I said, my cheeks flushing. "Of course not. There's nothing going on. It's just weird that he's not here the past few days."

"Well that's disappointing," she said. "I've always thought you two would end up together."

I blinked a few times. "Why would you think that?"

"It's pretty obvious. I'm fourteen it's not like I'm immune to these things."

I cleared my throat. "Well, there's nothing going on. And nothing will be going on."

"It could happen." She winked. "Listen, I have to get back to my friends, but we're having this small bonfire at the beach tonight. Do want to come?"

As much as I loved Aoi to death, I really didn't feel like hanging out with high school freshmen. "I think I'll pass. I have to figure out this college stuff first."

"Okay, but Natsume might be there to chaperone us. And my friends are happy about that because, you know."

I smiled, remembering the times when Tsubasa was one of the biggest heartthrobs in high school. It took me some time to get used to all the girls coming right up to him when we were at the supermarket or mall, like he was a movie star.

"You'll get used to it, kiddo," I told her. "And if you're using your brother into luring me to come, it's not working because there is nothing going on between us." But deep inside, I really, really, really needed to talk to him.

She shrugged. "I don't know, he's been so down lately. He's been sleeping late and waking up late. I think he changed shifts or something, I'm not sure."

This caught my attention. "Changed shifts? Why?"

"He wouldn't tell me. Maybe you should talk to him."

I nodded. "I'll try. Well I better go. I'm gonna be late for work."

"Sure. And I'm hoping I'll see you later?"

I winked. "I'll think about it."

Aoi rolled her eyes playfully at me before she gave me a hug.

"You do know I meant what I said a while ago, right?" she said.

"Which part?"

"About you and Natsume being together. Whatever's bothering him, I think you can take it away."

Or I'm the one causing it. "Your faith in me is overwhelming, Aoi. But I'm only here for Natsume as a friend. And I'm sure he feels the same way."

"That is the lamest thing I've ever heard," she said, rolling her eyes. "Anyway, see you later!"

"Bye, Aoi." I gave her one last hug before I fled off and before she could say anything else.

"You said this was going to be a wild party," Hotaru hissed in my ear.

"It is," I replied. "You know, for freshmen."

"My house is four blocks away. You do realize that I could just ditch you, right?"

I pouted, and bat my eyelashes. "Would you really?"

"Yes."

I sighed, and dragged her along the beach. "I just need to do something. And I could really use all the support I could get."

"Fine," she said, gritting her teeth. "But if some idiot hits on me, I'm leaving without a beat."

"No one is going to hit on you. Only a fool would come near you after you shoot them with icy daggers."

"Like I said, IF some idiot. But whatever. Go do you thing. I'll be over at the snacks area."

I hugged my best friend gratefully. "Thank you. You're the best."

"Yeah, I know," Hotaru said, waving me off.

I battled with myself throughout this whole day if I was going to this party or not. I needed to talk to Natsume to sort out whatever was happening. There was clearly something going on between us, despite what I told Aoi earlier. But as I moved around a pretty huge crowd of people, I saw no sign of him. Just as I was about to give up and go back to Hotaru, I saw him. He wasn't at the actual party. He was standing at the pier, far from the action. I immediately went up to him.

"Long time no see, huh?" I said, as I stood beside him.

He jumped slightly, and glanced at me. "Oh hey. You scared me."

I shrugged. "Yeah, well, I wasn't the one who suddenly disappeared for days. What happened?"

"I wasn't feeling well."

"Aoi told me you changed shifts. And that you stayed at home all the time." I paused. "Is this about what we talked about at the lake?"

He didn't answer.

"Damn it, Natsume," I shouted angrily. "Why won't you talk to me? I know you've been avoiding me for the past few days, and I want to know why. Don't shut me out, please. I want to know."

Natsume let out a frustrated sigh. "Mikan, I can't— I can't stop thinking about you. Like literally, the moment you came back here I was a disaster. You know I've liked you even when we were kids, but now, I think... I think I'm falling in love with you."

I stared at him, my mouth slightly open. Did Natsume just say he loved me? I had no idea what to say. My anger immediately evaporated and was replaced with pure shock. I wanted to tell him I loved him back. That I never stopped. Even those two years in Japan I still loved him, I just didn't want to admit it to myself. But I was too stunned to speak. Fortunately, he went on.

"Maybe I've been in love with you all along but I just couldn't see it," he continued. "Or I couldn't admit it to myself. I told myself I wouldn't fall for you because no matter what, you're still my best friend's little sister. I thought I could handle it when you came back. But the moment I saw you at that airport, I was a goner.

"And I totally understand if you're pissed off at me right now because I've been avoiding you for days. But the truth is, I wanted to try to distance myself from you because I know I won't be good for you. But damn it, I can't, Mikan. I can't."

Ever since I started liking Natsume I dreamed of this moment. This moment wherein he professed his undying love for me. But I never pictured myself to be this speechless. I was sure I was frozen in place. I felt like I was in a dream. I was too scared that if I moved, I would ruin everything.

Natsume studied me, frowning. "Mikan, please say something."

"But what about the things you need to sort out?" I managed to say, but my voice was barely above whisper.

"I think I've figured them out."

I blinked. "Figured what out?"

He chuckled, and took a step towards me. "Do I have to repeat my whole monologue again?"

"Oh." I cleared my throat. Great, I was ruining the moment. "Well, I heard everything."

Another step. We were only inches away from each other. "And?"

Holy crap I felt like my knees were about to give in. He was so near me that my heart was beating faster and I forgot how to breathe for a second. Get your shit together, Mikan, I mentally told myself. As I took a good look at Natsume, I now realized that this was really happening. He loved me and I loved him back. I think I always have, in the back of my head. It felt like we were the only two people in the world. This moment was all that mattered.

"And," I said, continuing his statement, "It's about time."

I took one step forward, finally closing the distance between us, and kissed him. Natsume's arms flew around me right away, and mine wound around his neck, my fingers intertwining his hair. He kissed me harder, and I let out a tiny moan. When we finally pulled away, we were both breathless.

"Oh and by the way," I told him, "I love you too."

Natsume laughed in reply, and lightly kissed my neck. It sent shivers down my spine. "Well, that's a relief."

So what do you guys think? I was like smiling like crazy while writing this for some reason and people were looking at me like I was a weirdo, but I am a weirdo so. Also I'm a bit free these days so I guess my next update would be in a week or so. And again I do apologize for making you guys wait so long :)

Oh and it's fall time alreadyyy. Fall is like my favorite season ever and I am so excited for halloween. And no this has nothing to do with the story I'm just being totally random. Okay.

So I guess that is it for now and I will talk to you guys soon :) Ciao x