Chapter 5 - Haruhi's POV

I gently run my fingers over the expensive cloth; this kimono's probably worth more than my apartment, ugh, filthy rich idiots. Why the hell do we need to spend so much money? I look up towards the doors when I hear them slam open to a wonderful smell...What-

"Cupcakes, Haruhi, cupcakes." I swear to God, Suma can read minds. At that, Elina takes one up to Kyouya and places it on top of his closed laptop.

"Taste that, and THEN tell me that homemade cooking by amateurs is shit."

Strange how Elina gets so worked up whenever Kyouya-senpai's involved. Suma and I share an understanding look; I guess we both suspect what's going on between them. Suma handles the distribution to the rest of us, before making her way to the door with a half-hearted wave. "Bye guys! I'll be back later to get the trays!"

Elina finally concludes her one-sided gloating session with Kyouya-senpai before leaving just as abruptly with mutters about swimming trials and murderous captains. Probably best not to ask.

I catch Kyouya's smirk as he peels off the wrapper... he definitely planned this.

I mutter to myself, "Manipulative bastard."

"What was that Haruhi?"

Shit. "NOTHING."

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Suma's POV

They say you'll love the things you're best at. The only evidence necessary to run that saying six feet under: fucking math. It's really a love-hate relationship. I love that it comes so easily to me, but I hate its existence...no biggie.

I just wanted to be in the club and get by with participation in the tournaments, but THIS happens. Apparently all the members take a test, and the one with the highest 2 scores become co-captains of the team. Guess who beat the 3rd place kid by one point. Yup, this girl.

To be honest, I don't mind it much. Kou Daichi, a 3rd year, takes care of all the lordly duties, while I help and train the younger members once or twice a week. I first tried to break the ice between us with a joke about how he had it easy, being homosexual and not having to deal with annoying women (what the fuck was I thinking, using that as a FREAKING ICE BREAKER, IDIOT), and he ended up on the floor laughing hysterically. Chi-chan (don't even get me started on that)... let's just say that he's rapidly becoming the gay friend I've always wanted. Apparently, everyone in school never noticed that he didn't like girls... I'm still confused how someone could miss that.

Well...they are the same people who think Haruhi is a boy, so I shouldn't be surprised.

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Elina's POV

I lay face down next to the pool, struggling to catch my breath from the intense trials and practice laps we just did. Fucking swimming. Why did I think joining the Swim Team was a good idea?

I feel a foot nudging me. "Eh, Elina, still alive?" I groan in misery.

"Fuck you Katsu. Did you have to try to kill us today?" I hear him chortle.

"It's my solemn duty as Captain Katsu Rin of the Swim Team-"

"Shut it."

"Well, good news though, we don't have practice for a week-"

I suddenly find the energy to get up and hug Katsu, "THANKYOU- wait. Why?"

"Whoa, no need for the paranoia. I just have some commitments this week that I can't avoid and-"

A family thing? A girlfriend? A stalker? Way to be vague Katsu-senpai.

"Ugh, whatever you say. I'm off~"

I grab some sweats to change into and go to the showers. Hmmm, maybe there's some cupcakes left over...hmm, nah, Kyouya-senpai probably sold the rest of them or something-evil, but efficient.

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I open the door to a strange sight. Kyouya's forcibly smiling and talking with some pretty brunette chick on the sofa, and the rest are in silent shock. I thought hosting was over by now.

"Of course, dear Kyouya and I are engaged!"

What the fu-

Suma frantically waves at me from across the room, she's taken up a corner sofa, curled up around her laptop with homework spread all around her. I plop down next to her as she readjusts herself.

"The new girl's a transfer from France. Looks like one of those crazy otaku. Probably thinks Kyouya is one of those stereotypical dating simulation characters."

"Wait, how do you know all of this?"

"Give me a sec." She listens to the girl yapping away across the room.

"She just said that he loved spring and bunnies, and proposed to her during a midnight picnic under the stars." I grimace at that. Suma's probably right, once again. Lord almighty, the type of shit that goes on here continues to amaze me.

"We should give her a chance. Maybe, it's just a phase... I mean, didn't we spend like a month obsessing over Hatoful Boyfriend?"

Su-su opens her mouth to protest and then sighs instead. "True, but-"

"NO, no judging Suma. She's probably a really sweet, misunderstood person." Who knows, maybe a little more feminine influence could help the club...

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I groan as Suma laughs at me.

"Such a sweet, misunderstood person, isn't she, Elina?"

I wearily watch the otaku, sorry- Renge, chasing Hunny-senpai around the room like an enraged Medusa. I mean, all he did was say that her Hey-I'm-Officially-Your-Lady-Manager cookies were a bit burnt. Why do I ever doubt Suma? Note to self: don't.

I wince at Renge's hissing, and shoot Suma a look. She's got that stupid shit-eating grin.

"FINE, you were right. You and your intuitive first impressions, damn it."

We both had staked out some comfy sofas in the back of the room, so that we could wait for Haruhi to finish up and walk home together. It's actually become a daily routine; we'd be completely unproductive, catching up on shows and playing games. And today, it's my turn to decided the agenda. I couldn't help but give an evil laugh. Okay, it came out more like a giggle, but who cares.

"Elina. What did you pick?" She's already suspicious and it's way too satisfying to get one over her.

"Oh, just a game called Outlast. You know, for making me play Dandelion. I swear to god, you find the weirdest dating sims I've ever heard of." I can see her face as she opens up the game and becomes deathly still.

"Oh, hell no." This is going to be glorious.

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Haruhi's POV

This is getting ridiculous, not that it wasn't already, to be honest. Renge has finally calmed down, and Mori-senpai's keeping Hunny-senpai far away. The twins were still antagonizing Tamaki-senpai over the stupid cookie-crumb licking thing. I mean, why does he take everything so seriously? It's not like he's my boyfriend or something-NOPE, NOPE, NOPE, NOT GOING THERE-

"Oh lovely Renge, maybe you'll be the one to bring out Haruhi's inner femininity~" Renge isn't even here anymore, who is he- Argh, it's his inner theater going off again. Oh mother in heaven, what have I done to deserve this madness?

"Tama-chan, aren't Su-chan and Elina-chan feminine influences?"

"Yeah, Tono, what are they?"

"Such a biased father, Tono."

Looks like Tamaki-senpai's got the attention of the others, even Kyouya-senpai and Mori-senpai look intrigued.

He flushes red, "But-but, they're loud and vulgar and-" I interject.

"Normal? I can't even say that about you." He give an outraged gasp. Jeez.

"HARUHI! Don't make fun of your father."

"He thinks the same about you."

"MOMMY! We need to discipline our children!"

"Idiot." Kyouya mutters, heading towards the girls in discussion. Looks like they're engrossed in something on Suma's laptop. Suma looks tenser than , while Elina's laughing darkly next to her.

I mutter to the twins, "Do you think they're ok?"

I hear Elina goading, "That wasn't so bad, was it?"

Suma bites out, "SHUT IT-SHITSHITSHITSHITSHIT, RUN DAMMIT!"

Kyouya-senpai seems confused, "What are you two doing?"

Elina answers for the both of them with a smirk, "Escaping from an insane asylum, of course."

"ELINA, I HATE YOU SO MUCH RIGHT NOW. Just wait till next week-SHIT, JUMP YOU IDIOT!"

I take a glance at everyone else; the twins are watching the screen, standing behind them, while Mori-senpai looks at them with amusement.

Suma hisses under her breath, "Fucking necrophilia, fucking crazy people, fucking everything..."

Suma's going insane.

"MOMMY, they're using foul language!"

Aren't we all, going insane that is?

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Suma's POV

WAIT A FUCKING SECOND. How the hell did we suddenly end up outside in an elaborate shooting area, like it's some bigshot movie...nevermind, it's Renge. What did I expect? Normal conversations and suggestions? PFFFFT, NOPE.

Apparently, someone wants to make a movie about the Host Club, coughRengecough, and now, there's a honest-to-god film crew and fake rain. Why? WHY?

Although Tamaki and the twins seem to be enjoying the lavish attention, Hunny-senpai, Mori-senpai, and Haruhi look close to snapping with irritation. Won't blame them, really. Renge tried to cast Elina and me as frenemies, or some bullshit like that, but we ended up bribing her with more dating sims so she'd back off. We have our methods; don't judge.

Elina managed to escape hours ago so she could catch up on homework back at the music room, while I was stuck "supervising," or more like "leeching off of all the free food they had". Haruhi finally finishes her scene and I drag her off to the side so that we could escape, finally.

An indignant yell draws our attention and we make our way closer to the source. Renge is confronting some tough-looking dudes, like those gangsters whom no one wants to mess with except for idiots like RENGE, DAMMIT.

One of the big guys pushes her into a nearby ladder, and I rush towards her to catch the falling ladder while Haruhi pushes Renge aside. There's a moment of silence as the two girls make sure they're both okay, while I readjust my left arm, which ended up bearing the brunt force of the ladder falling down. Damn, these ladders are legit steel; ugh, bruising is in the near future for sure.

In almost no time, the rest of the Host Club gathers around Haruhi to make sure she's ok, well except for one. I feel a lessening of weight on my arm and look up to see Mori putting the ladder safely down and turning to glare at me.

"What?" He scoffs and grabs my arm. His face immediately morphs into concern at my subsequent hiss.

"What happened?" I glance at the retreating goons, and Mori moves, probably to pummel them into the ground, when I grab his arm.

"Just don't. It's not worth it." He looks back at me. He cares, and that actually feels... great. And the fact that I may be a bit sneezeattractedsneeze doesn't help much. He takes a minute to retrieve an ice pack from the on-site medics.

"Try not to put yourself in unnecessary danger. Please." He's examining the newly forming bruise, and the both of us ignore the ruckus behind us.

"Oh, sure, let me just schedule that in after learning to breathe underwater and oh can't forget about discovering that unicorns are real." He answers with a roll of his eyes and subtly presses down on the injury with the wrapped ice pack.

"FINEFINEFINE, I promise to try to stay away from danger, aside from stairs-those things are deathtraps." There's a moment of silence before both of us snort in unison.

I glance at Mori-senpai and I finally remember what I'd been trying to recollect all day.

"By the way, don't punch me for doing this."

"Hmm?" I awkwardly maneuver myself into a tight hug around his middle. He freezes for a long moment before relaxing and hugging back.

"Happy Birthday, senpai!"

"How—"

"Don't even bother asking. I have my ways. And also, I'm giving an extended special hug to make up for the fact that I forgot to get you an actual gift. So, deal with it." He smothers a laugh and humors me.

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Elina's POV

I open the door, juggling my school bag and groceries, well, ice-cream to be specific, and shout out into the void. "YO, I GOT THE ICE CREAM!" I hear a pitiful groan in response. I know the feeling.

I throw my bag onto the counter and sludge towards the bedroom with the pints of ice-cream. Suma's curled into a fetal position and looks up with hope in her eyes when she sees my offering.

"Thank you, oh holy goddess~"

"It's for the both of us, you dunderhead. This is what we get for being around each other so much."

"Ugh, synchronized menstrual cycles is a myth."

"Not with us, Suma. This has happened for like the past four years."

"Just give me my damn ice cream."

"Alright, alright, Mango-Strawberry for you and Death by Chocolate for me."

There's a pleasant silence as we pull up Mean Girls on my laptop, and almost an hour later, Suma blurts out, "I hugged Mori-senpai, today."

I stifle my snort, "Oh really, did you two hook up afterwards?"

I get a pillow in the face for a response. "Idiot, I was just trying to be nice since it was his birthday and I didn't get him anything." She huffs and pouts at me. Isn't that just precious?

"Woah, woah, you know we both get a little weird this time of the month. Anyway, at least you're getting closer to him and confessing your feelings and stuff."

"Can we not? Let me suffer in self-mortification in peace."

"That's what friends are for, right?" This time, I get a spoon thrown in my face.

"WHAT THE FUCK, SUMA?"

"Hush, it's getting to the good part."

"Love you, too."


Hey everyone! Long time no see!

Seems like I'll be able to get these chapters during the holidays and stuff. I'm actually with the extended fam for the weekend for Thanksgiving. Although, it's definitely more awkward when your fam is the only vegetarian one among the others. Ehh, life.

Anway, Comment/Favorite/Follow! Real shit is going to go down soon, can't wait!

Your words and clicks are the elixir that keep me from going to a dark place where I'm only surrounded by evil homework.
Seems like I'm going insane either way.

Love all of you beautiful people!