''Right, when you feel the next contraction, I want you to push again, okay?'' The nurse told me. I nodded, glad that my hands were still preoccupied in both Rob and the Nurse's hand. I had had to push for the last few minutes now, and the pain was too much.
I was still squeezing their hands as yet another contraction hit me. I did what the nurse said though, trying so hard to ignore the pain aching in my stomach, but I couldn't. I gave up within roughly thirty seconds.
''I cant. The pain's too much!'' I complained, lying back on the stretcher in agony. I struggled to get my breathe back before I knew the Nurse would just tell me that it would be fine, and that I had to push again.
''I want you to think about the baby you're going to have, okay?'' The nurse told me. I nodded. ''I know the pain's bad, but just keep using that mask, if its too much. Take deep breaths, and push whenever you feel ready, okay?''
I nodded, and took a deep breathe, trying to push again. But still, the pain was agonizing, and I gave up, falling back onto the stretcher again, and gasping for breathe. I whimpered as the pain hit me again.
''How bad is the pain now Charlie, on a count to one to ten?'' The Doctor asked from the front of the van, as he helped the nurse pull me out of the van and to the hospital doors. Luckily, no paparazzi.
''Urm…'' I trailed off, giving that some thought. I could hardly think through the pain of it all. Everywhere was aching, my stomach was hurting, and I hadn't been able to actually push, and I still couldn't. It hurt too much.
''Ten, definitely.'' I said, whimpering as another force of pain hit my stomach. My hand flew to my stomach instantly, trying to protect my baby somehow.
''Okay, we're going to get you into a room and if the pain's too much we'll get you into surgery for a C-section alright?''
''There is no way that I'm having anything but a normal labour! No way!'' I shouted, panicked now. I knew exactly by how Mum was telling me, the pain that she was in when she had her Caesarean with me. She had been in agony for weeks, she couldn't walk, and Dad had to carry me to her in the hospital because it ached to move.
''My Mum had a C section and there's no way that I'm going through the pain that she went through. No way, I-I cant go through-''
''-Charlie, calm down alright?'' Rob interrupted me, squeezing my hand for comfort. ''When we go into the hospital room, just remember the baby. Imagine how much pain you're going to be in if you have a C-Section okay? Just keep thinking of this baby.''
''Okay.'' I agreed, whimpering again as my stomach hurt again.
We got into the hospital room, but only Rob stayed with me, even though I knew that he was panicking just as much as me.
It was still hard for me to push, but it was less painful than before. I had been in labour for over three hour's when I started to think about getting up. The pain was too much to take on, and I felt as though I was in agony.
''I cant…not anymore.'' I admitted, whimpering and gasping in pain as I held the mask up to my face again and breathed in. It helped a little bit, but I couldn't take anymore pushing or any more pain. It was too much.
''Just think of our Baby, keep thinking-''
''-I'm telling you, I cant!'' I shouted back in agony. It was all too much to deal with, and I started to feel so tired.
''Yes, you can! Think about the pain you'll be in if you have this C-Section. If you do this, then you'll be fine, healthy. You'll be able to go and see our Baby, instead of being in pain.'' Rob encouraged me.
''Just a few more pushes Charlie, and then you're baby is going to be here. I can almost see the Babies head.'' The Nurse promised me, trying to encourage me too.
''Okay, okay.'' I agreed warily, struggling to sit myself back up, because I was so tired now. I pushed again, the pain becoming so overwhelming but I ignored it as long as I possibly could until I just had to give up. The pain had been too much.
''That's it Charlie, you're doing a great job. Two more pushes, and then you can be holding your Baby.'' The Nurse promised me, encouraging me again.
I pushed again, her words spurring me on, because there was nothing that I wanted more right now than to be holding my Baby. It had been something that I had been longing for, for the whole of my pregnancy.
I gave in again though, because the pain was so bad. It was worse this time, and it was frustrating, because all I wanted was this Baby. ''I don't think I can take it anymore!'' I complained in frustration, holding the mask to my face again.
''One more push, that's all it takes Charlie, then this baby will be here. Just do one more, big push for me.'' The nurse encouraged me.
I nodded, and forced myself to take one more, deep breathe, and try one more push, despite all of the pain building up in me due to me pushing again.
''Well done Charlie, it's a lovely, little Girl.'' I looked up in time to see the nurse holding up my new baby, and I grinned in response; my arms instantly reaching for her. But there was no noise; no crying, no nothing.
And I knew something was wrong as the nurse rushed over to the medical table, to try and get the baby to breathe.
''What's going on? Is the baby okay?'' Just after I said that, the baby started crying, and the nurse passed my little Girl over to me, smiling at me.
''Everything is just fine.'' The nurse promised me gently, letting me take the baby from her own arms.
I gasped as I took in the beauty of this little Girl's face, wrapped up in a white blanket. She was an absolute angel, our angel. She had the tiniest, cute button nose, and her pink lips were slightly parted as she breathed in the new air around her.
She wasn't crying anymore, and her dark brown eyes were looking everywhere, before finally settling on her new Mum. She had small, tender lines underneath her eyes, telling me that she was probably sleepy.
She had a small amount of hair on the top of her tender head, which was a light brown colour, almost mousy. Her small, delicate ears looked as delicate as the rest of her fragile, tiny body as she laid silently in my arms.
Her fingers were the most delightful, smallest fingers in the world; even smaller than how Leo's fingers or hands were. She was an absolute angel, and she had a slight hint of a smile on her face as she gazed up at us.
''Hello baby,'' I commented, struggling not to cry. She was the most perfect angel that I could have asked for. ''Welcome to the World.'' I added, before gently leaning down and pressing a very careful, gentle kiss on the top of her head.
''Our little Girl.'' I looked to see Rob, leaning over the side of the bed, and looking down at her with the same pride as me. He had one of her fragile feet in his hands, cradling it, and I knew that he was begging to get to hold her.
I didn't want to let go though. I had spent so long wanting this baby, wanting this moment to come true, and now that it had, I daren't let her go. I didn't want anyone else holding her, besides me.
But I would get her back; I reminded myself. She was our Baby now, and I could hold her all I wanted to when everyone had a hold of her.
''Here, why don't you hold her?'' I asked him, trying to pass her as carefully as I possible could to him. With me, she was definitely going to be wrapped up in cotton wool. I would do everything in my power to make sure that she had a good and long life. To protect her for as long as I should live.
''Urm…I don't know. I'll wait, it's okay.'' Rob promised me, sounding terrified at the idea of holding our Baby for the first time. I rolled my eyes in response, because he had practiced this too in our Parenting classes.
''Don't be silly. You want to hold our little Girl, right?'' I asked him, grinning in response as he tenderly gazed at our new Baby.
''Well yeah, but…well, I'm too scared to drop her. She's so much more smaller than I expected.'' I laughed a little bit in response then, unable to stop myself. He had the same fears as myself, a moment ago.
''Just remember what we learnt in the sessions. You have to support her head, in-case it falls back on itself. Just support her head, and she'll be fine.'' I promised him, because it was true. He nodded, and reached his arms out, still looking nervous about this.
''Will it be easier if I sit down?'' he asked me unsure.
''No, standing up. It will be easier to pass her.'' I was still scared about how fragile she was, but I was coming around to the idea of her small body. I passed her to him, with extra special care as if she might break in a second.
He held her just as delicately, if not more-so, holding her head upright perfectly, as he held her protectively in his strong arms. He concentrated on her face as he held her, raking in every single bit of her lovely face, her small pink cheeks, her delicate, lovely hands.
''She is so beautiful.'' He commented, thrilled with the new life that we had brought into this world. I grinned in response, gently tickling her hands as he gazed down at her with pure love and pride.
''She really is. An Angel.'' I agreed, sounding just as proud as how he did.
She was already asleep after Tasha and Kirsty came into see with me, with Aston, and as we sat there whilst she was asleep, talking about the possible names for my beautiful little Girl, a name stood out above the rest. It was one that I had wanted to give my Baby ages ago, and one that fit her gorgeous face perfectly.
''Elizabelle.'' I said all of a sudden, as everyone turned to look at me. ''Elizabelle-Alice-Pattinson.'' I added, because I absolutely loved the names. It fit so well with Pattinson, and Elizabelle was my all time favourite name.
''I like it. Love it.'' Rob added proudly. ''Elizabelle-Alice-Pattinson.'' He agreed, smiling at me. I smiled back, before turning my attention back to the gorgeous little Girl in my Husband's arms. Elizabelle-Alice-Pattinson. A perfect little angel.
Everyone went home after thirty minutes, and I was left holding a sleeping Elizabelle. She was so at peace as she slept on my shoulder, and Rob was almost falling asleep on the chair besides the bed.
''Rob,'' I whispered quietly, watching as his tired eyes focused back on me. He smiled sleepily at me, making me smile back in response. ''You might as-well get on home. Elizabelle's going to be asleep for a good few hours, and the Nurse is going to take her to the Nursery.'' I added, because it was true.
''I'm going to stay for the night. I can sleep on the chair while you're asleep.'' He told me. I rolled my eyes in response, but I expected Rob to stay the night. It was something that he would do now that we had the baby especially.
''Okay.'' I agreed easily, carrying on rubbing Elizabelle's small and tender back as she slept silently on my shoulder, her tiny, warm breathe fanning into my neck.
''I'm just going to go to the bathroom.'' Rob told me, as I cooed over Elizabelle. I nodded, and went back to looking after Elizabelle.
I started to go asleep and as Rob walked back into the room, he noticed too. ''Why don't you go to sleep, love? Elizabelle will be fine.'' Rob promised me, and I knew that it was true, but it wouldn't ever stop me worrying.
''I don't want to. I want to stay awake, and carry on looking at her.'' I whispered back. He chuckled quietly in response, and gently stroked Elizabelle's cheek.
''She'll be fine. I've put my alarm on an hour from now and I'll go straight to the Nursery to check on her.'' Rob promised me, making me feel a little better.
''Okay.'' I agreed, yawning tiredly. I let Rob take Elizabelle off of me with extreme carefulness, and I watched him take Elizabelle in his arms, and gently put her in her hospital cot. She fidgeted for a moment, before turning over and falling right back to sleep.
Rob leant down and kissed Elizabelle's forehead gently before turning back to me. He smiled at me, taking my hand in his.
''Try and get as much sleep as you can. I love you.'' He promised me. He leant down and kissed me again, before taking the seat next to the hospital bad, with his hand still in mine, and watching me slowly fall asleep.
***