Disclaimer: I'm not muscling in on JK's turf - just gambolling on it, like a spring lamb, having fun working out the literary and psychological puzzles which she is having fun setting us.
REVISION TABLE
Apologies to readers who are waiting eagerly for a new chapter, because this isn't it. What this is, is a summary of the changes which have been made to Mood Music and Sons of Prophecy in order to bring them in line with the new backstory revealed in Deathly Hallows - although obviously they are AU from the canon timeline, branching off a few weeks before Dumbledore's death, when Percy Weasley spotted the fact that several Ministry officials were under Imperius.
The re-edits were uploaded on 17th August 2007, so anybody who began reading these stories after that date has already read the edited versions, and should skip to the next chapter. The changes are, for the most part, minor, which is why I have presented them in this summary form, so readers don't have to re-read both stories in their entirety just to find out what's different (unless they really want to, of course). However, the conversation between Severus and Albus in Chapter #15 of Sons of Prophecy has been substantially re-written, to the point that it's probably better just to re-read that whole scene, including Lynsey and Severus's comments on it afterwards.
I have not bothered to note down tiny changes such as capitalizing "Horcrux", and making a few minor tweaks to phrasing. But note that although I haven't listed every individual instance here, both stories have been edited throughout to have Severus, Remus and Minerva all usually referring to "Dumbledore" rather than "Albus", since we have now seen that Severus calls him "Dumbledore" even in private.
Having completed the revisions to these solo stories by whitehound, I will now beetle off and try to do the same for the story Lost and Found, which I co-author with Dyce under the pen-name Borolin. That will probably take a week or two, and when that's done we can get back to actually writing and updating these stories.
MOOD MUSIC
1: GOING UNDERGROUND
Story text:
Old: It was a snake - a hamadryad, she thought, and quite a large one, maybe ten or twelve foot long. She nodded to it, polite but uneasy: she had always rather liked snakes, but had no desire to become intimate with one as venomous and short-tempered as a king cobra.
New: It was a snake - some sort of thick-bodied viper, maybe a chain viper she thought, but unnaturally large: a good twelve foot long, as big as a small king cobra. She nodded to it, polite but uneasy: she had always rather liked snakes, but had no desire to become intimate with one as venomous, muscular and agile as a Daboia.
Author's note:
Old: We are told that Nagini has a triangular head, so she isn't a python or a boa; the head-shape suggests a cobra or an asp, and the name Nagini is almost the same as Nagaina, the female cobra in Kipling's story Rikki-Tikkii-Tavi. Ergo, I assume she is a cobra. To be that big, she would have to be a king cobra. Strictly speaking a king cobra has a pattern of solid blocks rather than diamonds down its back (as we are told Nagini has), but they could be diamond-shaped blocks. All the snakes I can think of that really have a diamond pattern are either much too small, or they are pythons or boas and have a long head like an earless bull-terrier. So I am sticking with the assumption that she's a king cobra.
I know "hamadryad" sounds like a mythical beastie - and indeed it is the name of a Greek wood-spirit - but it is also a proper alternate name for the king cobra. Hamadryads have been recorded up to 24ft long - so Nagini isn't actually all that enormous. A 12ft cobra would have a head about as big as the palm of your hand. I don't believe any 12ft snake would be strong enough to break someone's ribs just with its bite (although a python could do so with its coils), nor could you feed a person to a snake that size - although it might manage an arm. So I assume that when Nagini attacks Arthur Weasley, and when Voldemort feeds people to her, he uses an Engorgement Charm on her.
New: We are told that Nagini is venomous and has a triangular head, so she isn't a python or a boa. The head-shape suggests a cobra or a viper, and because the name Nagini is almost the same as Nagaina, the female cobra in Kipling's story Rikki-Tikki-Tavi, I originally assumed she was a king cobra. However, the description in Deathly Hallows of how thick her neck is, combined with the fact that her venom keeps both Arthur's and Snape's wounds bleeding, has caused me to change my mind and make her a thick-bodied viper, probably Daboia russelii, the chain or Russell's viper. This means, however, that at twelve-foot plus (according to the first chapter of GoF) she is three times the size of a normal adult chain viper.
Even so, I would assume that when Voldemort feeds people to her, he uses an Engorgement Charm on her to make her even bigger. Indeed we see this in Bathilda's cottage, where Nagini forms multiple coils from floor to ceiling, and hence must be about 60ft long at that point.
2: THE POTENCY OF CHEAP MUSIC
Story text:
Old: they must have come a mile or more.
New: they must have covered almost a mile by roundabout routes.
3: FLYING BLIND
Story text:
Old: "Lynsey O'Connor, forty-two, five feet eight..."
New: "Lynsey O'Connor, forty-one, five feet eight..."
Author's note:
Since Deathly Hallows makes Snape a year younger than the evidence in OotP suggested, I have also reduced Lynsey's age from forty-two to forty-one, to preserve the gap between them.4: THE CRY OF THE DEER
Story text:
Old: "The snivelling little psycho."
"Yes... He wants to devour death itself, so He can live forever."
New: "The snivelling little psycho."
The professor's mouth tightened at her words as if he had bitten into something unpleasant. "Yes... He wants to devour death itself, so He can live forever."
5: SNARES FOR THE WARY
Story text:
Old: there was a sparkle of clean silver light against the backdrop of the mist,
New: there was a sparkle of clean silver light against the backdrop of the mist, a wavering outline of a slender-legged deer,
Old: "All of which is all very well and good if you have a talent for positive feeling. My Patronus has always been weak and irregular of form, precisely because there is nothing in my life which makes me feel safe, and never has been. In my line of work, I'd need to be mentally defective to feel safe. And nothing on earth makes me feel 'hope and happiness and a desire to live.' That's what the textbooks say you need to cast a strong Patronus: 'Hope and happiness and a desire to bloody-well live.'"
New: "All of which is all very well and good if you have a talent for positive feeling. My Patronus - my Patronus isn't really my Patronus, it's a copy of the one that belonged to a friend who - who died. I've never had one that was truly mine, precisely because there is nothing in my life which makes me feel safe, and never has been. In my line of work, I'd need to be mentally defective to feel safe.
"All the happy memories I have are connected to - to the friend whose Patronus I copied but I can't infuse it with any sense of joy or of safety because she died. There's as much pain in it as happiness, so I can use it as a messenger but in the face of a Dementor it just - I just see her death. Repeatedly. Nor will it protect me, since she... I rejected her protection, in life, and she - withdrew it. And nothing on earth makes me feel 'hope and happiness and a desire to live.' That's what the textbooks say you need to cast a strong Patronus: 'Hope and happiness and a desire to bloody-well live.'"
Old: "I think you could make the power-beast be your Patronus."
New: "I think you could make the power-beast be your Patronus. And I don't think it would stop you from still having your friend's Patronus as well, when you wanted to call it."
Author's note:
New (additional second paragraph): I've also cheated a bit over the descriptions of the ichthyosaur and the pool. In reality, I believe only part of the pelvis of the ichthyosaur is visible (and some sources insist it isn't really a fossil at all but just a flint which looks like a fossil), and the pool has dried out.
New (additional last paragraph): This chapter had been altered slightly to bring it in line with the new canon background revealed in Deathly Hallows. Originally, I had Snape unable to produce a corporeal Patronus at all.
6: FLYTING
Author's note:
Old: The only real possibility I know of in Yorkshire would be Bradford
New: The only real possibilities I know of in Yorkshire would be Huddersfield or Bradford, which were still quite run-down in the 1990s
7: PSYCHO LOGICAL WARFARE
Story text:
Old: "You left the Death Eaters partly because you were growing afraid of your own capacity for violence"
New: "You left the Death Eaters partly because you had realized your friend was in danger, but also because you were growing afraid of your own capacity for violence"
Old: "I would have: and I've killed many times since, to keep my cover."
New: "I would have: and I've killed since, if not by my own hand then by the information which I revealed, to keep my cover."
Old: it must be the having of magic that was the dominant gene.
New: it must be the having of magic that was the dominant gene. Unless there were two genes, both recessive, one for magic and one epistatic gene which masked magic, so that many people who appeared to have no magic were nevertheless homozygous for it.
Old: "I won't even be thirty-nine until January"
New: "I won't even be thirty-eight until January"
Author's note:
New (additional last paragraph): This chapter has been edited in several minor ways to conform with new canon from Deathly Hallows and subsequent interviews. Apart from having Snape refer to "Dumbledore" rather than "Albus", and making him a year younger, I've edited his motives for quitting the Death Eaters in order to make Lily more prominent, made it ambiguous whether he had ever killed directly or not, even in the service of the Order, and added the possibility of an epistatic gene (one which masks the expression of a second gene, in the way that, for example, albinism masks what colour the animal would have been had it not been an albino) to Lynsey's thoughts about the genetics of magic.
8: BURNER BE BURNED
Story text:
Old: "a dirt-poor, working-class, three-parts Muggle twenty-two-year-old"
New: "a dirt-poor, working-class, three-parts Muggle twenty-one-year-old"
Old: "To the best of my knowledge, the only person that ever actively liked me in my life before was Albus Dumbledore"
New: "To the best of my knowledge, apart from the - the childhood friend that died, the only person that ever actively liked me in my life before was Albus Dumbledore"
Old: "I've never been able to get close to anybody anyway."
New: "I've never been able to get close to anybody since Lily anyway."
Old: as the great hamadryad made up its mind and lunged towards her the professor spun on his heal and shouted something and she fell back, she fell back with the cobra's teeth embedded in her arm
New: as the great serpent made up its mind and lunged towards her the professor spun on his heel and shouted something and she fell back, she fell back with the viper's teeth embedded in her arm
Old: As the cobra seeped away into darkness
New: As the viper seeped away into darkness
Old: "Albus almost lost the use of his right hand because of it."
New: "Dumbledore almost lost the use of his right hand because of it, and could have lost his life."
Old: "I stood by and watched while He killed a man I owed my life to and a woman I - had cared about,"
New: "I stood by and watched while He killed a man I owed my life to and a woman I - cared about more than life,"
Author's note:
New (additional last paragraph): Minor alterations have been made to this chapter, to bring it into line with the new canon backstory revealed in Deathly Hallows. Nagini has been changed from a cobra to a viper, Snape has been made to refer to "Dumbledore" rather than "Albus", his age has dropped by a year and he now says that he has never had a friend since Lily, rather than that he has never had a close friend at all.
9: THE HUNT IN THE DARK
Story text:
Old: there was at least fifteen feet of chalk
New: there was at least fifty feet of chalk
Old: "My first fully-developed Patronus!"
New: "My first fully-developed and Dementor-proof Patronus!"
Old: "Believe it."
New: "Believe it. Not that - well, I wouldn't want to lose the first Patronus, the one that was hers, but it's good to have an alternative which is truly mine and which actually can protect me, without the - unhappy associations."
Author's note:
New (additional last paragraph): A few extra comments have been added to the conversation about the Patronus, to bring it in line with the new backstory revealed in Deathly Hallows.
10: IMAGINARY MONGOOSE
No changes.
11: NIGHT FLIGHT
Story text:
Old: about twenty feet above them
New: about fifty feet above them
Old: "Magic leaves a trace, so if we just go the one way they'll be able to track us - "
New: "Ordinarily they say you can't trace Apparition but He can do a lot of things that 'they' say you can't do. If we just go the one way I'm afraid they'll be able to track us - "
Old: - which wasn't a lie, as such.
New: - which wasn't a lie, as such - and to arrange for her neighbours to continue feeding her cats.
Old: He was spellbound not to give away the address, and no-one could even see the house who had not been told of its whereabouts by a designated Secret Keeper: but if he had been a traitor he could certainly have arranged for the Death Eaters to watch the square which the house seemingly stood on, and pick off visitors.
New: The Fidelius spell theoretically kept the place hidden from anyone who had not been told of its whereabouts by a designated Secret Keeper, but Fidelius could be cast in several different ways, and Dumbledore had never really been clear about which method he had used. The Order might think the professor was now free to reveal the secret, since Dumbledore's death: and in any case if he had been a traitor he could certainly have arranged for the Death Eaters to watch the square which the house seemingly stood on, and pick off visitors.
Author's note:
New (additional fourth paragraph): This chapter has been revised to bring it in line with the new background revealed in Deathly Hallows, which affects the parts dealing with the operation of the Fidelius (a horrible fudge, but no worse than Rowling's own horrible fudge) and the tracking of Apparition. I am assuming that main time-line Snape didn't learn to fly until some time during his Headmastership, so this Snape has never acquired the knack.
12: UNSAFE HARBOUR
No changes.
13: FOUR-PART DISHARMONY
Story text:
Old: "He begged me - with his thoughts - to kill him and save myself, because he thought I was more valuable to the Order."
New: "He begged me - with his thoughts - to kill him and save myself, because he thought that he would die soon anyway, and so I was more valuable to the Order."
Old: "You saw his hand: you must have at least some inkling of what he was prepared to risk on behalf of the Order."
New: "You saw his hand: you must have at least some inkling of how sick he was."
Old: "Don't be more stupid than you can help. I could no more kill Albus than you could kill those two fools you run around with."
New: "I was supposed to kill him for four reasons - to make sure his wand came to me, to protect Draco from having to kill him, to save myself from the Vow and because he was dying anyway. But the curse on his hand didn't seem to be progressing as fast as we had feared, the wand was gone already and I could save myself and Draco just as well by faking his death as by killing him - and I was damned if I was going to kill him when it wasn't even necessary."
Old: "I told him I would not do it, that my decision was final"
New: "I told him Riddle had never managed to make an executioner of me and I was damned if I was going to be one for him"
Old: "Where was his wand in all of this?"
New: "Where was his wand in all of this? It certainly wasn't with him on the tower."
Old: "did anybody find his wand?"
"Um - not that I know of."
New: "did anybody find his wand?"
"Um - yes, but not until the next day. It was buried with him."
Old: "But if you didn't kill Albus - where is he? We all saw him cremated - or somebody cremated."
New: "But if you didn't kill Dumbledore - where is he? We all saw him entombed - or somebody entombed."
Old: "When he was cremated the body was wrapped"
New: "When he was buried the body was wrapped"
Old: "I don't know if he told you this - I swore an Unbreakable Vow to help Draco Malfoy carry out some order of - of His, if Draco should fail. It - I thought I was being clever. I swore to watch over Draco and protect him in order to convince the Ugly Sisters to tell me what Draco's mission was, I pretended to a knowledge of the situation which I did not in fact have, and then they backed me into a corner where I had to swear to carry out his mission if he fumbled it, or multiply their suspicions a thousandfold. I only found out weeks later that I'd promised to kill Albus if Draco didn't."
New: "I don't know if he told you this, but I found out... I told Dumbledore that - Riddle - was likely to order Draco to assassinate him. He expected the curse on his hand to kill him within the year - although in the event it didn't progress as fast as we had thought - and he said that if it came to it I should be the one to kill him, to protect Draco's soul and give him a clean death, and I was to stay close to Draco and monitor his plans, ingratiate myself with him. I still hoped to - to find a way to save him, but when the Ugly Sisters asked me to swear an Unbreakable Vow to protect Draco I took it. I thought Dumbledore would be pleased I was following his orders so fucking faithfully. Then they backed me into a corner where I had to swear to carry out Draco's mission if he fumbled it, or multiply their suspicions a thousandfold. I knew by then what I was swearing to, but I couldn't bloody-well get out of it."
Old: "he already had a badly injured arm"
New: "he already had progressive curse-damage, even if it wasn't progressing quite as fast as we had feared,"
Old: "he saved me again, because it was realizing what I had done which brought me to my senses and to Dumbledore's camp."
New: "he saved me again, because it was realizing what I had done, that I had to try to save all of you and not just Lily, which brought me to my senses and to Dumbledore's camp."
Old: "I find it hard to see him in that light:"
New: "I find it hard to see him in that light, especially since he never let the fact that he had saved my life put him off from continuing to persecute me ad lib:"
Old: "We were sixteen years old."
New: "We were fifth years."
Old: "But if you'd asked me even then if I seriously intended to kill them - no. I may have done more than my share of killing later, but it has never come easily to do so in cold blood: it was always something I had to nerve myself up to in advance and throw up over afterwards."
New: "But I didn't invent the damned spell, only perfected it, and if you'd asked me even then if I seriously intended to kill them - no. I've killed a few times since, to save my own life or someone else's, but never in cold blood, and never easily: it was always something I had to nerve myself up to in advance and throw up over afterwards."
Old: "James even went behind Lily Evans' back to go on persecuting me even after he had saved my bloody life."
New: "James even went behind Lily Evans' back to go on persecuting me even after he had started dating her."
Old: "Of course. I'd far rather be a bloody tiger than a bloody sacrificial lamb, any day."
New: "Of course. I'd far rather be a bloody tiger than a bloody sacrificial lamb, any day. Even so - he was nearly always the instigator, and I realize now that he used the damn' Map and the damn' Cloak to get me when he knew there were no teachers present. He wouldn't have been able to hide it from Lily if he hadn't picked the venue eighty percent of the time."
Old: "a constant reminder that the bully who made my schooldays a protracted hell also got the girl."
New: "a constant reminder that the bully who made my schooldays a protracted hell also got the girl, and that it was largely my own damnable fault that they both died."
Author's note:
New (additional last paragraph): This chapter has been edited to bring it in line with the new backstory revealed in Deathly Hallows. Apart from Snape saying "Dumbledore" rather than "Albus", we now know that he had almost certainly never killed anybody in cold blood, if indeed he had ever killed at all; that he probably didn't invent Sectumsempra himself; that Dumbledore expected to die before the end of the year, knew well in advance about Draco's mission and had already floated the possibility of Snape killing him before the Spinner's End scene; and that James definitely went on bullying Severus in the most blatant manner even after saving his life.
14: CONFLICTED RESOLUTION
Story text:
Old: "He looks too like his bloody father: the mere sight of him makes me feel hot and humiliated"
New: "He looks too like his bloody father, and his eyes are too much like hers: the mere sight of him makes me feel hot and humiliated and eaten alive with guilt"
Old: "I took the worst memories of his father out of my head"
New: "I took the worst memories of his father and of the, the break-up with Lily out of my head"
Old: "and his dislike of me was palpable - scalding, almost. But I could look at him without feeling ill"
New: "and his dislike of me was palpable - scalding, almost, especially to see it behind her eyes. But at least I could look at him without feeling ill"
Old: "His godfather, too, and poor Lily - and yet he counts their sacrifice for so little"
New: "His godfather, too, and Lily - Lily could have lived, she could have, but she gave her life to save him and yet he counts their sacrifice for so little"
Old: "You didn't start teaching at Hogwarts until you were thirty - I was twenty-two. Thank God even the eldest were a year too young to have seen me stripped and publicly humiliated, but most of them knew somebody who had: and the top two years had all seen similar - incidents from my so-delightful schooldays."
New: "You didn't start teaching at Hogwarts until you were thirty-three - I was twenty-one. Some of the seventh years had actually seen me hung up by the heels, publicly stripped and forced to eat soap when they were in first year, and even the ones who hadn't seen it knew somebody who had. And even the fifth and sixth years had all seen similar - incidents from my so-delightful schooldays."
Old: "Whatever for, Minerva? Nobody helped me when I was being bullied"
New: "Whatever for, Minerva? If I tried to talk to Dumbledore about any difficulties I was having with work he hardly even bothered to look up, and as for coming to you - nobody helped me when I was being bullied"
Old: "so far as I know Albus's affection for you never wavered"
New: "so far as I know Dumbledore's regard for you never wavered"
Old: "He grew up with his mother chopping the heads off house-elves and hanging them on the wall! Torture was a sport, to them:"
New: "He grew up with his mother chopping the heads off house-elves and hanging them on the wall, and while I do not know whether that sprang from cruelty or a warped sentimentality, it certainly showed that they saw them as mere animals. To some of that house, torture was a sport:"
Old: "I may be almost twice your age, my lad, but he was more than twice mine"
New: "I may be almost twice your age, my lad, but he was nearly twice mine"
Old: "And he was born pure-blood, purest of pure, in an age when that meant real authority: more, he was born powerful."
New: "His father's family were pure-blood, purest of pure, in an age when that meant real authority, and he himself was born both brilliant and powerful."
Old: "James was fantastically jealous of another boy even looking at Lily Evans"
New: "James was fantastically jealous of another boy even looking at Lily Evans, let alone being madly in love with her"
Old: "Every time she so much as glanced at you you looked like a whippet with colic."
New: "Every time she so much as glanced at you you looked like a whippet with colic: it was obvious the friendship wasn't just platonic, at least on your side."
Author's note:
Old: It is ambiguous whether Snape was born in 1959 or 1960. We know that he was in the same school year as Sirius Black, so his age depends on Sirius's age.
Sirius was arrested and sent to Azkaban at some point after the deaths of the Potters on 31st October 1981. He escaped from prison in August 1993, at which point he was said to have been in prison for twelve years. Clearly, it must have been a bit less than that - but for him to have been in jail even close to twelve years, he must have been arrested in autumn 1981, soon after the Potters' deaths - probably some time in early or mid November.
JKR has stated that Sirius was twenty-two when he was sent to Azkaban - that is, he was twenty-two in November 1981. There are then two possibilities. If his twenty-second birthday occurred between mid November 1980 and August 31st 1981, then he was born between mid November 1958 and August 31st 1959, Snape (who we know was born on 9th January) was born in 1959 and they went up to Hogwarts in 1970. If it occurred between September 1st 1981 and his arrest in November 1981, then he and Snape started at Hogwarts in 1971 and Snape was born in 1960.
Fanon tends to have them starting in 1971, but it's more likely Sirius's birthday fell in the nine-and-a-half months before September 1st rather than in the two-and-a-half months between 1st September and early to mid November (when he was arrested), and therefore that they started in 1970. In which case, Snape was born in 1959. JK has stated that Snape was thirty-five or thirty-six in Goblet of Fire, and a birth-date in 1959 would make him thirty-five at the beginning of the book and thirty-six at the end of it.
Lucius was forty-one in September 1995, so he presumably started at Hogwarts in 1965 and left in 1972 (unless his birthday falls in early September, in which case he could be a year younger - but this is statistically unlikely). The longest Lucius and Snape could possibly have overlapped for at school would have been three years, if Snape was born in 1959 and Lucius was born in early September 1954, and the least would be a year, if Snape was born in 1960 and Lucius was born earlier than September 1954.
We know from what he tells Umbridge that Snape started teaching at Hogwarts in 1981 (just before Harry's parents were killed). The horrible incident after the OWLs, which occurred when he was sixteen, must have been in 1975 or 1976 - most likely 1975. It is ambiguous in the book whether the audience for that nasty bit of humiliation consisted only of students who had just come out from exams or whether the junior years were also around - but since exams in British schools tend to finish at lunchtime it is quite likely that pupils of all ages witnessed the incident.
If Snape was born in 1959, which seems the most likely, then he started teaching when he was twenty-two. He overlapped Lucius at Hogwarts by two years (three years, if Lucius was born in early September), and when he started teaching, the fellow students who had (potentially) witnessed him being stripped by James when they themselves were First Years had just graduated and left. If he was born in 1960 then he started teaching when he was only twenty-one, he only overlapped Lucius by a year (two years, if Lucius was born in early September) at school, and when he started teaching, his Seventh Year students had been First Years in the year of his OWLs, and many of them would have seen what James did to him.
New: Evidence from OotP, and from JK Rowling's statements at interview, suggested that Snape was probably born in 1959 or 1958; but since we know (from JK's website) that he was born in January, and that he was in the same academic year as the Marauders, and Deathly Hallows has definitely established that James was born in March 1960, we must conclude that Snape was born in January 1960 (and that Harry was wrong when he thought, in April 1996, that the bullying incident which he had seen in the Pensieve, and which happened in the June that Snape was sixteen, had been more than twenty years ago).
We know from what he tells Umbridge that Snape started teaching at Hogwarts in 1981 (just before Harry's parents were killed), at which point he would have been twenty-one. That means that he was only four years older than the first lot of seventh years he taught, and when he started teaching the fifth, sixth and seventh years had all actually been students with him, and would have been respectively first, second and third years when he was in seventh year.
It is ambiguous in the book whether the audience for his humiliation by the Marauders consisted only of students who had just come out from exams or whether the junior years were also around - but since exams in British schools tend to finish at lunchtime it is quite likely that pupils of all ages witnessed the incident. The students who were first years when he was a fifth year - and who may well have watched his humiliation - were seventh years when he started teaching.
Lucius incidentally was forty-one when he spoke to the Prophet in mid September 1995, so he was born somewhere between mid September 1953 and mid September 1954. The most he could have overlapped Snape by at school is two years, and that only if he was born in early September 1954. Since their connection was well-known enough for Sirius to call Snape Lucius's lapdog, I'm assuming they did overlap by two years.
JK Rowling said in interviews that she saw Dumbledore as about a hundred and fifty, but that doesn't fit what we're told in Deathly Hallows. In summer 1997 the Weasleys' Aunt Muriel, who is supposed to be a hundred and seven, says that she remembers the death of Albus's sister Ariana, which we know occurred when Albus was eighteen. She was old enough to be aware that she hadn't been aware Albus even had a sister, so she must have been at least five. So Albus would have been born no earlier than circa 1877, and been no more than about a hundred and twenty when he died.
New (additional last paragraph): This chapter has been adjusted to fit with the new canon backstory revealed in Deathly Hallows. Apart from having Snape and McGonagall refer to "Dumbledore" rather than "Albus", it's been adapted to have Snape put more emphasis on Lily's sacrifice than on James's, and to mention the fact that Harry has his mother's eyes as well as his father's face. Snape has been made a year younger, so that his first lot of seventh years had been at school with him when he was stripped. Dumbledore's "affection" has been changed to "regard" and there is a mention of Snape having tried to get pastoral/managerial support from Dumbledore and got none, as we saw in DH. Minerva is now aware that he and Lily were friends, as well as him fancying her madly.
15: LUPUS EST HOMO HOMINI
Story text:
Old: "that was even worse than being stripped."
New: "that was even worse than being stripped and then she, Lily, I was so desperate I lashed out at her and she wouldn't forgive me. She was the best thing I had, and she never bloody forgave me again."
Old: "they were so unnerved by how - relentless you were in your retaliation"
New: "they were so incensed by your refusal to be suppressed"
Old: "the years of concentrated cruelty that had brought me to that point were just - swept under the carpet."
New: "the years of concentrated cruelty that had brought me to that point were just - swept under the carpet. Along with the two and a half bloody years of further torture which followed it."
Old: "but the only way I could deal with that public shame"
New: "but I lost the only person I ever really cared about, because of you bloody lot, and the only way I could deal with that loss and that public shame"
Old: "No," Lupin agreed gently. "I understand that publicly losing a fight was bad, even against long odds, and I know intellectually that humans have status-issues about being seen naked - but dignity of that sort really isn't a canine thing, and I could never really feel why simply being stripped would make it so much more - emotionally destructive. Especially since I think most people were more impressed than not."
New: "No," Lupin agreed gently. "I understand that publicly losing a fight was bad, even against long odds, and I can see why being embarrassed in front of Lily made you lash out at her, I think - "
"Do you? Do you understand how - fucking terrified I was of what my own House would do to me, if I let myself be rescued by a Muggle-born Gryffindor? At least you bloody lot didn't know where I slept."
"Well - perhaps I didn't see, then, but I can certainly see that Lily... that having her dump you because of it was bad, and really that was mostly our fault. And I know intellectually that humans have status-issues about being seen naked - but dignity of that sort really isn't a canine thing, and I could never really feel why simply being stripped would make it so much more - emotionally destructive. Especially since I think most people were more impressed than not."
Old: "What happened to 'You were always honourable' all of a sudden? I never told your bloody secret."
New: "What happened to 'You were always honourable' all of a sudden? I never told your bloody secret. Christ! I let Lily drift away from me because she thought that I was trying to control her, to tell her whom she could or couldn't be friends with, because I gave my word not to tell her that her new friends included a bloody werewolf and a bloody would-be murderer."
Author's note:
New (additional paragraph before the N.B.): This chapter has been slightly altered to bring it in line with the new backstory revealed in Deathly Hallows. Apart from having Snape and Lupin refer to "Dumbledore" rather than "Albus", this means that more emphasis has been placed on how the Shrieking Shack and underpants incidents impacted on Snape's relationship with Lily, and the dating of the Shrieking Shack incident has been moved back to the middle of fifth year, well before the underpants incident.
SONS OF PROPHECY
THE STORY SO FAR
Story text:
Old: he had a long fall and was already injured and poisoned
New: he had a long fall and was already both cursed and poisoned
New (additional second paragraph): Shortly before Dumbledore's death, Percy Weasley spotted that a Ministry official had been Imperiused and this caused Voldemort's plans to take over the Ministry, and Hogwarts, to fail. The Ministry's decision to close Hogwarts and use it as an administrative base further diverted the timeline from the one in Deathly Hallows, so that Snape never became Headmaster and Voldemort's forces remained in hiding.
1: SILENCE IS PRONOUNCED
Story text:
Old: it was suspected that the Unnameable One had his own spies at the Ministry.
New: it was suspected that the Unnameable One had his own spies at the Ministry. A junior administrator named Weasley, the estranged son of the red-haired man who had been so pleasant to Snape, had actually spotted the fact that three senior officials had been acting under Imperius: but there was no guarantee that they were the only ones, or that there were no sincere, non-Imperiused Death Eaters lurking in the Ministerial woodwork.
Old: On the Friday that Snape was thirty-nine years old
New: On the Friday that Snape was thirty-eight years old
Author's note:
New (additional last paragraph): This chapter has been slightly re-edited to bring it in line with the new Deathly Hallows backstory. Snape has been made a year younger, and a mention has been added of Percy realizing that some Ministry officials were under Imperius, to explain why this timeline diverged from the main one.
2: COUNSELS OF WAR
Story text:
Old: He could, as she knew from talking to the Weasleys, easily live another hundred years or even more
New: He could, as she knew from talking to the Weasleys, conceivably live another hundred years
Old: Sometimes he dreamed about things she was sure had really happened, although they had acquired a surreal intensity - about faceless guards
New: Sometimes he dreamed about things she was sure had really happened, although they had acquired a surreal intensity - about a woman, falling, her face impersonal ivory and her hair a flame; about faceless guards
Old: "'Mione too," Harry said cheerfully.
New: "'Mione too," Harry said cheerfully around a mouthful of battered haddock.
Author's note:
New (additional last paragraph): Minor edits have been made to bring this chapter in line with the new Deathly Hallows backstory. Snape's potential lifespan has been edited downwards from "easily" a hundred and thirty-eight-plus or more, to "conceivably" a hundred and thirty-eight, in the light of the revelation that Albus was between a hundred and fifteen and a hundred and twenty when he died, not a hundred and fifty as Rowling had previously stated in interviews (although she has implied that Aberforth will still be going strong in his mid hundred-and-thirties). Lily's death has been added into Snape's recurrent nightmares, since we now know how overwhelmingly important she was to him.
3: UNCHARTERED WATERS
Story text:
Old: They [house-elves could not Apparate more than the traditional seven leagues at a time
New: Unless directly summoned by their master, they could not Apparate more than the traditional seven leagues at a time
4: TALKING BACK
No changes.
5: OIL AND WATER
No changes.
6: AND THE TRUTH SHALL MAKE YOU FREE
Story text:
Old: "And failing that, Dennis Lovegood is eager to publish"
New: "And failing that, Xenophilius Lovegood is eager to publish"
Author's note:
New (additional last paragraph): The name of Luna's dad has been changed to comply with the new canon backstory in Deathly Hallows.
7: MANY HAPPY RETURNS
Story text:
Old: "I left the Muggle world more than twenty years ago"
New: "I left the Muggle world almost twenty years ago"
Author's note:
New (additional last paragraph): The time elapsed since Severus left the Muggle world has been reduced to comply with his age as given in Deathly Hallows.
8: A SHORE THING
Story text:
Old: "When I was - fifteen," he said carefully
New: "When I was - fourteen," he said carefully
Author's note:
New (additional last paragraph): Severus has been made a year younger when he heard the Minnie Ripperton song Loving You, to comply with his age as given in Deathly Hallows.
9: PRESENT COMPANY ACCEPTED
Story text:
Old: "The prophecy that killed Lily - James, too, and he was a shit, but he didn't deserve that."
New: "The prophecy that killed Lily - she was my friend, my friend since we were children, and I fucking killed her. James, too, and he was a shit, but he didn't deserve that."
Author's note:
Old: That raises the question of why Voldemort interpreted it as he did - but he would have a much better idea than Snape of how many pairs of parents or prospective parents there were who had defied him three times. And for all we know he may have killed a few adult candidates, as well, and have fully intended to work his way round to the Longbottoms once the Potters were dealt with.
New: That raises the question of why Voldemort interpreted it as he did - but he would have a much better idea than Snape of how many pairs of parents or prospective parents there were who had defied him three times, and he would also know, through Peter, that Dumbledore thought the prophecy referred to a child, because he would know that families with children born that July were being given special protection. And for all we know he may have killed a few adult candidates, as well, and have fully intended to work his way round to the Longbottoms once the Potters were dealt with.
New (additional last paragraph): In the light of the new backstory revealed in Deathly Hallows, this chapter has been slightly edited to place more emphasis on Lily's death as a result of Snape relaying the prophecy.
10: COMING TO GRIEF
Story text:
Old: "The poison was too much for him - poisoned on Wednesday, dead on Saturday."
New: "The poison and the curse between them were too much for him - poisoned on Wednesday, dead on Saturday."
Old: "It was indescribably ghastly."
New: "It was indescribably ghastly. And I - just before that - she was my friend, the only real friend I ever had I think, but I was so - angry and humiliated and so scared, so frightened of what Avery and that lot would do to me if I let myself be rescued by a Muggle-born, so scared of what Potter would do to her, too, if she didn't get out of the way and, and furious too because she looked as if part of her found it funny and I lashed out at her, I insulted her and she - I drove her away, she joined in with them and jeered at me too but I still thought she was - magnificent, and then she left me there. With them. I lost her, she was never my friend again because of it, and then they hung me up by my heels and stripped me, while I was still a bit... you know."
Old: "Wrong on both points, Potter, as per bloody usual. I went straight to Albus about it"
New: "Wrong on all points, Potter, as per bloody usual. I didn't invent the bloody thing, I didn't leave the book lying around, and I went straight to the Headmaster about it"
Old: "He said that if he - if we couldn't find a solution"
New: "He said that if he - if we couldn't halt the curse on his hand, if we couldn't find a solution"
Old: "swear it on Albus's grave"
New: "swear it on Lily's grave"
Author's note:
New (additional eighth paragraph): This chapter has been slightly edited on the light of the new canon in Deathly Hallows, to place more emphasis on the curse which Dumbledore suffered, to make Sectumsempra not Severus's own invention and to emphasize that the Pensieve/bullying incident was so terrible partly because it resulted in a break-up from Lily.
11: POETIC LICENCE
Story text:
Old: "I am not certain. The act of removing a Horcrux is dangerous enough for the witch or wizard performing the removal - as you saw from Albus's injuries which he sustained as a result of cleansing Marvolo Gaunt's ring."
New: "I am not certain. The act of removing a Horcrux can be dangerous even for the witch or wizard performing the removal - as you saw from Dumbledore's injuries which he sustained as a result of cleansing Marvolo Gaunt's ring. Admittedly it wasn't clear, in that case, whether the curse related to the Horcrux or to the ring itself - but since the locket was also so heavily defended..."
Old: "When I was in Azkaban... before, when I was twenty-two,"
New: "When I was in Azkaban... before, when I was twenty-one,"
Author's note:
New (additional last paragraph): In the light of the new canon revealed in Deathly Hallows, this chapter has been re-edited to make Severus call Dumbledore "Dumbledore" rather than "Albus", to make Severus twenty-one rather than twenty-two when he was investigated by the Wizengamot, and to leave it open whether the curse on the Peverell ring belonged to the Horcrux or to the ring itself.
12: MISTY WATERCOLOUR MEMORIES
Story text:
Old: "And I can't tell you how glad I am that I didn't have to."
New: "And I can't tell you how glad I am that I didn't have to." She could feel her own mouth tightening at the surge of memory, the image of his desperate anguish, and tried to school her face into calmness. She could so easily have failed to save him - so easily have had to leave him there in misery and blood.
Old: "I always was attracted to the night - even before Fenrir Greyback decided that it would be funny to give me the disease to go with the name."
New: "I always was attracted to the night - and I suspect I would have been even if Fenrir Greyback hadn't decided that it would be funny to give me the disease to go with the name."
Author's note:
New (additional last paragraph): There have been minor edits to this chapter, mainly to take account of the fact that Remus was very small when he was transformed and therefore probably wouldn't remember having already been attracted by the night, and to show Lynsey being plagued by memory.
13: MEDICINE SONGS
Story text:
Old: "My - so-called bloody 'Lord' knew the secret and took me in at His side"
New: "My - so-called bloody 'Lord' knew the secret and took me in at His back"
Author's note:
Old: The plaintive song 500 Miles was sung by the American folk/pop band Peter, Paul & Mary on their first, eponymous album, released in 1962 when Severus was three and Lynsey five.
New: The plaintive song 500 Miles was sung by the American folk/pop band Peter, Paul & Mary on their first, eponymous album, released in 1962 when Severus was two and Lynsey five or six.
New (additional sixth and seventh paragraphs): Admittedly the description of Voldemort coming to the Potters' house, as seen through his own viewpoint in Deathly Hallows, does not mention either a person accompanying him or any kind of spellwork. But we do not actually see whether anyone is behind him, and it seems unlikely he would have gone alone when he couldn't know that the Potters would be unarmed and unguarded. Dumbledore knew so much of what happened that night - enough to decide almost immediately, before he even sent Hagrid to rescue the child, that Harry needed to be placed with his mother's bloodline - that it strongly suggests he had an eye-witness. And Voldemort must have done something to turn Harry's intended death into a Horcrux.
Dumbledore said in HBP that he was sure Tom intended to make a Horcrux out of Harry's death, and it seems unlikely that he was wrong about that, because we know Tom was intending to make another Horcrux - he later made Nagini into one - and the death of the prophesied vanquisher would be too significant a death to waste. It can't be enough just to kill somebody and, bingo, the nearest suitable object becomes a Horcrux, or it would happen all the time. It can't depend on something Tom was going to do after Harry's intended death, because if so he never got to do it, and Harry wouldn't have become a Horcrux. And he can't simply have set the process in motion before he came to the house and given it no further input, because in that case the Horcrux would have been created when he killed James or Lily. He must have done something after killing Lily and before attempting to kill Harry, to ensure that Harry's death would feed into the Horcrux - even though we don't see him do it.
Old: I really don't know where the fragment "There are many gardens" comes from.
New: When I first wrote this, I really didn't know where the fragment "There are many gardens" came from. However, I managed to identify it some weeks later, after almost twenty years of searching. I had misremembered it, and therefore so did Severus - or perhaps the singer I/he heard on the radio had changed the words a little - for the chorus properly begins not "Monday to Friday", as I remembered it, but "For days' work and weeks' work". Its title is To People Who Have Gardens. The words are by the novelist and historian Agnes Mure MacKenzie of Stornoway and the tune is by Marion Macleod of Eigg. It was arranged for voice and piano by Marjory Kennedy-Fraser for her early 20th C collection Songs of the Hebrides. It must have been in Volume II, published in 1917, or in Volume III, published in 1921, because I own a copy of Volume I and it isn't in it.
14: DAMAGED LIMITATIONS
No changes.
15: OLD SCHOOL TIES
Story text:
Old: the goblins treated him with the same cheerful disregard
New: the goblins treated him with the same blank disregard
Old: polished and gleaming and chased with silver inlay
New: polished and gleaming, its metal neither steel nor silver but somewhere in between
Old: "In any case, the fact of the matter is that I could not tell her the truth of your position when there were others present who might be in Tom's employ,"
New: "In any case, the fact of the matter is that I could not tell her the truth of your position when there were others present who might be in Tom's employ, even if I had decided that it was safe to compromise your security by doing so,"
Old: "I can't tell you how glad I am for it," Albus replied soberly. "I am - so very sorry, that you should have suffered so much, and that I was not able to protect you from the Ministry at least. I had intended to inform Minerva and Alastor, at least, that if you killed me, or appeared to do so, you would be acting on my orders, but..."
"But you put it off until the last minute, as per bloody usual," Severus said wearily, "and then Draco's sudden access of efficiency upended your plans."
New: "I can't tell you how glad I am for it," Dumbledore replied soberly. "Please believe that I am truly sorry that you should have suffered so much, and that I was not able to protect you from the Ministry at least. As you know, I had intended to come to your office, obviously sick, and have you perform the final service in such a way that I would have appeared to have expired naturally. That there might be witnesses to my death was a thing I had not anticipated."
"But you just assumed the world and everyone in it would conform to your personal agenda, as per bloody usual," Severus said wearily, "and then Draco's sudden access of efficiency upended your plans."
Old: "It's not your fault, old man. I chose my own battles."
New: "It's not really your fault, old man. I'd have chosen to fight Him, I think, even if you hadn't bullied me into it - at least, I tell myself so."
Old: "There were reasons, as you know, why I thought it would be better if you knew about Harry's mission."
New: "There were reasons, as you know, why I thought it would be better if you knew about Harry's mission. Had Percy Weasley not headed Voldemort's plans for a takeover of the Ministry off at the pass, if it had still seemed likely that you would be appointed as my successor and that I would be able to continue to guide you through this portrait, then I would have told you far less. But fearing that the Ministry as it stood would not - forgive me - would not be likely to appoint a former Death Eater as Headmaster, and that the curse on the Defence position meant you were unlikely to continue just as a teacher, I knew that whatever I told you before my death would have to suffice, and it needed to be enough to enable you to assist Harry."
Old: "Ironic, under the circumstances - not that I hold your disobedience against you. Say to her - " he pursed his lips and produced a shrill, warbling cascade of sound - "and she will listen."
New: "Ironic, under the circumstances - not that I hold your disobedience against you. Say to her - " he pursed his lips and produced a shrill, warbling cascade of sound - "and she will listen. Had you seemed likely to succeed me as Headmaster, I would have retrieved them from her and left them where you could find them in any case."
Old: "Come now, Severus," the older man said sternly, peering down at them over the tops of his glasses. "If you had tried to defend me we would all have been lost, including myself and Harry - as I'm quite sure you know. And even if it were not so - there may have been times when I have had to be prepared to risk you, to keep Tom from destroying our world; but other things being equal, do you really think I would begrudge my own life to save yours?"
New: "Come now, Severus," the older man said sternly, peering down at them over the tops of his glasses. "If you had tried to defend me we would all have been lost, including myself and Harry - as I'm quite sure you know. And although the curse was progressing more slowly than we had feared, I would still probably not have lived long, especially without your skill to maintain me. I had so little life left in me, while you potentially have so much - quite apart from the tasks which I still needed you to perform, I did not begrudge giving up my few remaining months to preserve you, perhaps, for decades."
Old: "I happen to think that you are," Albus said firmly. "You know that I have always had the highest regard for you."
"Do I?" the other snarled, snapping abruptly from shame to bitterness. "Nobody on the staff except Horace gave me the time of day when I was a student - you were all too wrapped up in dancing around bloody Black all the time."
New: "I happen to think that you are," Dumbledore said firmly. "You know that I have always held you in high regard."
"Do I?" the other snarled, snapping abruptly from shame to bitterness. "I thought that I was - oh, what was it now? That I disgusted you."
For a moment the old man's painted features looked surprised - frightened, even. "No I - I never said that. Or if I did, I never meant it."
"Liar! I was so - fucking - frightened but I came to you and you told me I was disgusting anyway, because I had only asked Him to spare Lily and not all of them - as if I would have had any fucking chance of getting him to spare all of them. Lils was all I could save - I thought I could save - but you told me how much you despised me for it, and then asked me to pay you for saving them. As if I wouldn't have done anything - anything - to put right what I'd done, just for the asking."
" And this could not have been addressed at any point during the last sixteen years, Severus? I really don't think that this is the time or place - "
"What other fucking time or place is there? You tell me that!" He was breathing in rough gasps like an overridden horse, and Lynsey watched him anxiously and wondered about pneumonia and scarred lung tissue and relapses.
"I - " The image of Dumbledore stared down at him for a moment, frowning, and then abruptly turned his back. Lynsey saw Severus flinch at the apparent dismissal, his stark features bleak with pain, but the old man hunched his shoulders and said, without looking at them, "I think now that I was - overly harsh, especially in the light of your later services to the Order."
"My services as you call them didn't stop you from tormenting me with my own guilt after Lily died!"
"I... yes. In retrospect, I find myself somewhat in agreement. In my own defence, I reacted badly because I could see myself, my own mistakes, repeated in you, and so I perhaps blamed you unduly for faults which were more my own than yours."
"How could you - " Severus sounded honestly bewildered. "What did you ever have in common with the likes of me?"
The painted man turned his head so that he was looking back over his shoulder, visible in profile but meeting no-one's eye. "Only that I too had once let bad company, foolish political theories and the love of my own cleverness lead me into a situation which - which resulted in the death of my own sister. When I saw that you had done the same I assumed that you were - as selfish and stupidly self-absorbed as I had been; but having got to know you better I no longer believe that that was the case."
"I wish you had told me. Why now? If you had told me then it might have made me less - less destroyed by my own guilt. Why now?"
"Because now may be all the time we have left." The portrait sighed, a tiny exhalation, and turned back to face them. "Because I have reason to think that the redoubtable Ms Skeeter is hot on my trail, and I value your good opinion too highly to want you to learn first from her pen what you should have learned from me."
"Because you value it, or because you need it?" Severus muttered, almost under his breath, and Lynsey was pleased that he had realized the difference and accepted that being liked, rather than simply useful, was a thing which could potentially apply to himself. "Nobody on the staff except Horace gave me the time of day when I was a student - you were all too wrapped up in dancing around bloody Black all the time."
Old: "Please believe me that if I had known the extent to which he and Sirius were harassing you I would have asked Minerva to intervene. I knew James had an Invisibility Cloak, of course, but I didn't know he was using it to stalk you,"
New: "Please believe me that if I had known the extent to which he and Sirius were harassing you I would have asked Minerva to intervene, but to my sorrow I thought that you were - well - exaggerating matters, on those few occasions when you did complain. It seemed improbable that they would be able to do the things you alleged, and yet not be caught by any staff. I didn't know that James had an Invisibility Cloak, of course, let alone that he was using it to stalk you,"
Old: "I never had any doubts about your character"
New: "I never had any serious doubts about your character"
Old: "I always thought that you would someday be... an asset to those of us who opposed Tom."
New: "I always thought that you would someday be... an asset to those of us who opposed Tom. That was possibly why I was... perhaps harder on you than I should have been, later."
Old: "I think you may win because of what you choose to call your betrayal. It seems to me that the likelihood that Tom will now make another Horcrux"
New: "I think you may win because of what you choose to call your betrayal. It wasn't how I myself had planned matters, but it seems to me that the likelihood that Tom will now make another Horcrux"
Old: "And Potter - Potter is afraid that he might be a living Horcrux himself, like Nagini."
"Yes."
"Yes he is, or yes he thinks he is?"
"Yes the idea had occurred to me. I hope that it is not so."
"So do I, believe me. He's asked me to kill him, if it comes to that, and I don't know if I can."
"For what it's worth, I do not believe that it will come to that. But I can hear him, and Minerva, waiting downstairs, so perhaps..."
"I always wondered how you knew - that people were downstairs, I mean."
New: "And Potter - Potter suspects that he might be a living Horcrux himself, like Nagini."
"You know that I have long suspected that this is in fact the case."
"He asked me to kill him, Dumbledore! He asked me to kill him, if it comes to that, and I don't know if I can, but better that than leave him for Riddle to kill. If - if it has to be."
"You still hope to find a solution which will enable him to survive, as you tried to do for me?"
"You know damned-well that I do," Severus answered roughly. "If - if there's truly no other way to bring Riddle down then I suppose... But I'm damned if I'm going to stand by and just let the bloody brat die, after all the years I've spent trying to keep him alive, without even trying to find another solution."
"I venture to doubt that you will succeed where I have failed," the older man replied somewhat frostily.
"Do you now?" the professor snarled. "And you are such an expert on the Dark Arts, of course, that no-one else could possibly know better?"
Dumbledore's portrait sighed. "If you can find a solution I have missed, so much the better - but I have reasons to believe that the boy must be killed by Voldemort himself, if he is to die. Because of the - nature of the link between them, it may be that Harry can only die if he is killed by Voldemort - and if Harry cannot die, neither can the thing which I believe has lodged inside him. The fact that the Horcrux survived Harry's encounter with basilisk venom does suggest that it cannot die unless he does."
"If it must be, it must - but I refuse to just accept it until I have explored all the other options myself." He rubbed wearily at his eyes, blinking. "That was why you always favoured the brat, wasn't it? Because you knew that you were raising him for slaughter, and you felt guilty about it."
"Severus..." The old man looked uneasy, even shifty, Lynsey thought.
"What?"
"Do not... seek to dissuade him. From being willing to die. There is a chance that - well, that if he is perfectly willing to die, the willingness itself may suffice. I do not wish to say more."
The professor gave him a long, thoughtful look, and then nodded abruptly. "Very well."
Albus Dumbledore inclined his painted head. "I hope that you are right, and that the situation can be resolved in a way which enables Harry and yourself Severus to survive. But I can hear him, and Minerva, waiting downstairs, so perhaps..."
"I always wondered how you knew," the younger man said restlessly. "That people were downstairs, I mean."
Old: "Very well: it would I admit please me still to be able to speak with all of you on a regular basis, so long as you remember that you, and Harry, and Minerva are the decision-makers now. There are fresh hands at the helm, that are not my hands, and I would not have it any other way. And Severus - "
New: "Very well: it would I admit please me still to be able to speak with all of you on a regular basis, so long as you do not use me as a prop for your own lack of confidence. Even I must acknowledge that there comes a time when there must be fresh hands at the helm, that are not my hands, and you have passed well beyond the limits of the plans which I laid down for you while I was alive. And Severus - "
Old: "Take care of him for me. He is - very dear to me."
New: "Take care of him for me. I value him more highly than he believes, even if I haven't always shown it as I should."
Old: "He seems genuinely fond of you."
New: "Do you think Harry really will have to sacrifice himself?" she asked sombrely. She had grown quite fond of the dark, intense young man with the roadkill haircut.
"Merlin, I hope not. Politics aside, I want to see Lily's killer destroyed, but to do so at the cost of her son's life is just - ghastly. I can understand the possible necessity, though I don't have to bloody like it: but I wish you could have heard how - cold Dumbledore was about it, the first time he told me. I used to think that he - that he loved the damned brat and that I was nothing to him in comparison: but now I wonder whether I should envy Potter his so-called love or pity him for it."
"He does seem fond of you, though, in his own peculiar way."
Author's note:
Old: The description given in GoF says that Godric's sword is silver, but silver, even as an alloy, is too heavy and soft to make a sensible sword, so I'm assuming it is merely decorated with silver.
New: The description given in GoF says that Godric's sword is silver, but silver, even as an alloy, is too heavy and soft to make a sensible sword. I assumed originally that it was merely decorated with silver, but in Deathly Hallows we're told that it is "goblin silver". That could be some strange, lightweight, hard silver alloy, but my best guess would be that goblin silver is actually titanium.
New (additional last paragraph): In the light of revelations in Deathly Hallows, the conversation between Severus and Albus has been substantially re-written, to show Albus as rather colder and to address both his willingness to send Harry to his death, and his cruelty towards Severus at the time of Lily's death.