Author's Note: This is for all of you who reviewed and for everyone who encouraged me. I'm glad most of you are sticking with it. Thanks to Marla for the beta, but any mistakes are still mine.
zzz
Diego left the door open and released her hand as he entered the room where Victoria had slept last night. Zorro had been in Victoria's bedroom, but never while she was there. The room felt incredibly small, it smelled like her…but he focused on his tasks. He wasn't going to let her hide completely, so he brought an armchair closer to the dresser so she'd sit near him while he shaved. He opened the shutters and let the morning light into the room, the sounds of the ocean pushing the thick silence away.
He glanced over at her, but she was frowning at the book in confusion. "Did you like the book? I thought you could read some more while I shaved. If you wanted." His hand patted the back of the armchair slightly before he went to the dresser to set up his own things.
Victoria thumbed through the pages of the book and watched him ignore her for a moment. She glanced at the giant bed on one side of the room, the armchair far from it, but close to him. She paused before she left the relative safety of the doorway, then wondered why she was feeling uneasy with Diego. He wouldn't hurt her. She was safe with him, and even if he changed his mind and wanted her now, he wouldn't hurt her on purpose. She closed the door behind her and sat down in the chair, reminding herself that Diego was the best man she knew. If he couldn't control his body, when he did hurt her, it wouldn't be intentional.
She opened the book on her lap, but watched him instead. Wariness turned to curiosity. His eyes caught hers in the mirror briefly when he touched the top button of his shirt, and she looked back at the open book when he started undoing buttons. She felt her face heat as she remembered last night admitting she'd wanted to unbutton his shirt. She couldn't imagine how Diego was so patient with her, because she was confusing even herself with what she wanted. She forced her eyes up again, happy when she realized she was relaxing. The tingles which were absent earlier when she'd forced herself to kiss him started somewhere in her chest as she watched him finish with the buttons.
He pulled at his shirt as if he were about to take it off, then reconsidered and left it hanging open. Victoria told herself she'd seen men without their shirts before, but right now she only wanted to see more. Kissing without a shirt on couldn't hurt. If he lost control, it was his right as her husband. She had one obligation in this marriage, and she couldn't expect him to be patient forever. She shivered as she remembered him kissing her neck. That hadn't hurt at all. Maybe the something better wouldn't be so painful… She was beginning to think she might even enjoy some of it.
She ducked her flaming face when he caught her watching him. Did he know what she was thinking? She heard a splash and glanced up to see Diego splash more water on his face. He was rather sloppy about it as he splashed his chest and rubbed the cold water into his hair. Why would he do that? There was hot water by the fire, he didn't have to use the cold. The arms of his shirt were soaked, and as she watched he dropped it behind him, splashing more water on his chest and the back of his neck.
Her eyes grew round as she finally got a glimpse of her husband. Diego quickly wiped a towel over himself before grabbing his shirt and putting it back on. Victoria sighed in disappointment, even though he left it open. She grinned despite herself, thinking he obviously couldn't read her mind. It was sweet how he constantly tried to put her at ease, but he was her husband. He shouldn't have to. He didn't seem to notice she never started reading, and eventually she closed the book in her lap to watch him.
She thought back to his bath invitation last night. All this time, she thought Diego was rather shy…but he had made the suggestion, even as he blushed. Maybe he was shy. He said earlier he was afraid of making mistakes. He made one now, and Victoria's eyes widened as blood poured from an invisible cut on his neck and he ignored it. Maybe she was making him nervous? He scowled at himself now and pressed a piece of cotton against the cut. Maybe Diego was out of his comfort zone, too. What was she doing to meet him half-way? She couldn't keep herself apart, she was his wife.
She surprised them both when she spoke. "You always shave yourself?"
Diego froze mid-stroke with the blade against his cheek, carefully lifting it away and dipping it in the water before he cut himself again. "Are you offering?"
Goosebumps popped up on her arms and she folded them against her fluttering stomach as he turned to face her. She glanced down at her lap to avoid staring at his chest and shrugged one shoulder. "Some women shave their husbands."
She released the book when he tugged it out from under her hands, then took his hand and stood.
"I don't know how." She squeezed his hands where he held hers between them. "I could learn if you want me to, though."
Diego glanced down at the top of her head, smiling even though she didn't look up at him. This opened up possibilities. This time she was moving closer to him, and it didn't seem like she was forcing herself. She wanted to help him shave. Both of them were going to have to come up with some new routines, so why not start now?
He pulled her to the dresser, realized how much he towered over her. He didn't want to sit down. The water rocked in the bowl when he helped her to sit on the dresser next to it, and he smiled at her blush as she settled herself.
"It's not so hard," Diego said, but even as he said it he was realizing how sharp the blade was. Maybe she could just watch this time? But Victoria was watching intently as Diego showed her the razor and demonstrated his grip. She never could back down from a challenge. Glancing in the mirror, he covered his face with more lather. "The shaving cream is supposed to keep you from cutting yourself." Victoria giggled and he shrugged as he looked at the nick in his neck in the mirror.
Diego hoped his hand stayed steady as he showed her what he did every morning. He felt the scrape of the blade and wondered if he was being an idiot…he jumped at the chance to stand closer to Victoria…but to give her a blade? He ran a finger down his cheek on the spot he'd just cleaned, and hoped he didn't shed any more blood today. "You sure you want to try this?"
The doubt in Diego's voice made her grin, and she sat up straight and held out her hand for the razor. The angle was wrong, though, where she was sitting.
Diego remembered why he'd agreed to this. He stepped in front of her, between her legs. He rested his hands on the dresser on both sides of her hips, caging her in. Victoria sat up straighter with a gasp, but his hands had her pinned. Her toes pointed, she felt his body against hers now from the knees down. The dresser was the perfect height, their faces even with each other as he looked at her and Victoria tried to calm her racing heart.
She glanced down at the razor in her hands, caught sight of his chest with his shirt still hanging open. She'd asked to do this, wanted to do something for him. Her heart kept beating erratically, and her skin tingled everywhere. She focused on the blade as she opened it, and Diego eventually gave her some space and helped her. Victoria pushed all other thoughts from her mind, focused on not cutting him as she put the blade against his skin and listened to his instructions. She'd done harder things in her life, and this wasn't even hard. She wouldn't disappoint him.
Diego had thought bringing Victoria this close would come with some benefits. If she was concentrating on shaving him, maybe he could concentrate on her. Look…touch. Of course, when he'd thought of that brilliant plan, he forgot about the sharp blade he'd armed her with. He didn't even get to look at her as he tilted this way and that to allow her to shave him. He was afraid to touch her and break her concentration, afraid to speak or move and wind up bleeding.
Several minutes later, Victoria leaned back and closed the razor with a satisfied smile. Diego glanced in the mirror, and Victoria leaned over to look at his reflection, too. She sat back and ran her fingers over his wet cheek and chin, quite proud of herself. Diego wiped at the only spot she'd cut him, but he smiled at her and she relaxed again. She set the razor down and put her hands on his smooth cheeks, then picked up the towel to wipe him off.
She wiped his neck off, too, then stroked the towel over his chest for some reason. What would he do if she touched him? Maybe with her lips? She liked it when he kissed her neck…would he? He said he wouldn't attack her, but he said he had no control sometimes. She was so confused. She didn't understand why she was so hot right now… he wasn't crowding her, the room wasn't stuffy. She didn't understand why she was suddenly curious about the 'something better.'
She frowned at him, then touched a finger to the shaving cream still covering his mustache. "Why did you cover your mustache?"
Diego bent over the water basin and washed it off. "Guess I was nervous, too. Wasn't thinking."
He glanced at her when she didn't offer the towel. She seemed distracted by his shirt, and he remembered a scar visible on his chest. Zorro had the scars, had the mustache. He held his breath, bracing himself for anything. He tugged again at the towel, and sighed when she folded her hands in her lap and looked far away again.
Was everything going to be spoiled by Zorro? He scowled at the mirror, but he had no one to blame but himself. Frustrated beyond reason, he grabbed the shaving brush again and the razor a second later. He didn't pause when he cut himself, he'd never shaved his upper lip before.
Victoria wondered what his chest would feel like. The light dusting of hair looked curly…would it be soft like the hair on his head? She shook herself out of her thoughts when Diego tugged the towel sharply from her fingers. She watched him press it against his face, grabbed his arm when she saw blood through the towel. She pulled him in front of her again, then tugged his hands away from his face. "Diego…"
Diego didn't meet her eyes as he pressed the towel against his upper lip, but already the bleeding was slowing. He was Zorro after all, he was usually good with a blade. He glanced in the mirror and licked at his bare upper lip. He was Zorro. Now he was Diego, and only Diego. Zorro was a part of his past. Victoria was more important than playing some hero, and he wanted Victoria to stop thinking about Zorro every time she looked at him.
Victoria tugged the towel out of his hands, then tilted his face up to look at her. Usually she avoided his gaze, but now he was avoiding her. She wiped the towel over his face, gently over his upper lip, and shook her head. "I'm sorry."
"For what?" Diego asked, staring back at her lap.
His hands once again rested on the dresser, but there was at least a foot of space between them. Victoria reached out and put his hands on her waist, pressed a gentle kiss to his injured upper lip. Diego tried to focus back on Victoria, to let his anger drain out of him as he rested his forehead against hers. It wasn't her fault, this was all on him.
He lifted a hand to her cheek, wiped at a tear he found there. Why the tears now? His fingers threaded into her hair as he brought his mouth down hard on hers, his arm around her waist pulling her tight against him as he tried to use lips and tongue and teeth to make her forget any other man on the planet.
"You married me," Diego insisted, close enough they shared the same breath. "Just remember that." Diego pushed off the dresser hard enough to rattle the mirror, and left her staring after him as he stalked out of the room.
Victoria stared at her lap, wondering when she was going to stop screwing up. She'd tried, she really had. Diego said not to be afraid of messing up, but now he seemed angry with her. She'd only cut him once…Diego did most of the damage to himself. And why?
She glanced over the side of the dresser at her dangling feet and felt even smaller, as if she didn't belong in this grown up world. She heard a loud knock at the end of the hall and remembered Diego didn't even have his own room to change clothes in.
She slid off the dresser and picked up the towel. She'd made him shave his mustache. She hadn't been thinking of Zorro. Diego loved her for how long? Maybe he was used to these feelings. She wasn't. A woman wasn't supposed to want to touch a man's naked chest. Now, she had been so focused on his body she'd missed something she'd done which made him angry. That wasn't proper behavior for a wife, either. What had she done to inspire anger in such a gentle man?
She glanced up at a soft knock on the door to find Rebecca's concerned gaze. "I'm sorry."
Rebecca leaned against the doorjamb. "For what?"
Victoria shrugged her shoulders and dipped the towel into the water, trying to remove the blood. "I don't know."
Rebecca pulled Victoria's hands out of the water, and she remembered she didn't have to clean up after herself anymore. She started to put away Diego's shaving kit.
"Luis and I fought like cats and dogs when we found out I was pregnant." Victoria watched Rebecca in the mirror. "Diego had some big fights, too, with Luis and my father." Rebecca laughed. "With me, too. Luis and I weren't in love at first, but we found our way there through all the things that went wrong. Maybe all young couples fight."
"I didn't even know we fought."
Rebecca put a hand on Victoria's arm. "Those are the worst kind. Diego is incredibly sensitive, and sometimes has a short fuse. He can be defensive, and I imagine he will be jealous, maybe act out in anger. I don't think he's ever been in love before. Talk to him. He's going to make mistakes, too. Just try to keep him out of trouble, and remember he's your husband now."
Victoria frowned, but Rebecca had reason to suspect her feelings. "But Diego doesn't fight. If what you said is true, he would have fought for me. But he didn't."
Rebecca's eyebrows rose. "Doesn't fight?" Rebecca remembered the pleading eyes Diego used last night to beg her not mention his passion for swordplay. She saw the same expression as she looked over Victoria's shoulder to see Diego standing in the doorway now.
Victoria turned when she saw Rebecca's diverted attention. She clasped her hands together in front of her, once again unsure what to do. She wasn't used to feeling this way all the time, and if Diego kept throwing her off balance she thought she might go crazy. She didn't mean to send him mixed signals. She forced herself forward, and her fingers latched onto the bottom of his jacket as she stared at the buttons on his clean shirt. "I'm sorry."
Diego shook his head, his hands coming up to stroke her cheeks and hair before pulling her into a hug. "No, I'm sorry. You did nothing wrong. Maybe I should have fought for you, but I thought you deserved better." Diego pulled Victoria's head from his shoulder, smoothing out her hair and running a finger over her puffy bottom lip. "I'm sorry if I hurt you."
Rebecca glanced down at the bloodstained water and back up at Diego's lip. "Better?" she mouthed, and Diego scowled.
Rebecca shook her head and scrubbed at the towel a little more before wringing it out. "Jacqueline is expecting you. She's the tailor," Rebecca added for Victoria's benefit. "She should have some new trousers for Luis if you don't mind picking them up."
She paused on her way out, watched Diego release Victoria to kiss her forehead and look lovingly into the woman's eyes. This didn't seem like the fiery woman Diego had described. She thought she might like that woman, and hoped they figured some things out today. She didn't understand much right now, but it seemed Victoria understood even less. Rebecca decided to go find Luis. He was her anchor, was always there for her. She had to believe Diego and Victoria would find their way. Diego had helped her. She vowed to try to do the same for him.
Diego sighed, knowing Rebecca's concerns were valid, but determined to make things work. He rubbed his hands up and down Victoria's back, trying to think of something brilliant to say. "Jacqueline is nice. I thought you might want some clothes."
Victoria straightened his jacket, smoothing out the lapels. "Great," she smiled up at him. If he wanted her to have new clothes, she'd wear them. She couldn't expect to walk around Monterey in her functional dresses with frayed hems. Plus, he'd told her to pack light so she hadn't brought much.
"Did you want to go swimming?"
"We can do whatever you want."
Diego swung their hands between them and let out a deep breath. "What do you want to do?"
Victoria bit her lip as she glanced up at him, not sure what to say.
"Victoria, I married you. I didn't just decide I needed a wife and select any woman to fill the role. I wanted you." He gently wrapped his arms around her and smiled. "I love the woman who stood by and took care of my father. Who took care of me when I was hurt. You stand up to the alcalde, you even ran for office. I love you. I want to make you happy. We can do what you want to do, too."
Victoria's eyebrows rose as she looked at him, reminded of Rebecca's confusion. "You like that I get into trouble?"
Diego's fingers froze on her back. He liked her passion for justice, but Zorro wouldn't be rescuing her anymore. "No. I don't like that you risk your safety. I don't want anything to happen to you. I like that you stand up for what you believe in. Maybe you can be more careful now? Stay away from dangerous situations and dangerous people."
Victoria slid her hands up to link behind his neck. "I promised you. I'm not going to see Zorro again. You don't have to worry about me. I'm your wife now."
Diego shook his head. "That's not what I mean. I trust you. You have to trust me to take care of you. You'll be outside the pueblo, there shouldn't be that much trouble. I love your independence, but I hope you'll talk to me if something bothers you. Don't ride off alone. Don't annoy the alcalde." Diego squeezed her waist, not wanting to think about Los Angeles right now. "But we're not in Los Angeles. And we can do whatever we want."
"Aren't there sharks in the ocean?"
Diego chuckled. "I've never seen one. I think it'll be fun, and you'd enjoy it. But if you don't want to go, we won't."
Victoria thought back to the magnificent waves, and wanted to try something Diego obviously enjoyed. "I'll try it. But I can't swim."
"I can teach you to swim. In a lake, though, not the ocean. And it's mostly shallow, you can keep your feet on the sand. You won't have to swim. I'll keep you safe. I promise."
"You want to go now?"
Diego glanced over at her luggage. "I'm not sure what you brought. I uh…" Diego turned a little pink as he released her to walk to her bags. "I usually don't wear a swimming costume." He held his hands up when her eyes widened. "I can wear pants, don't worry." Diego glanced at her legs, invisible beneath her skirt. "You might want to wear pants, too."
Victoria's hands dropped to clench in her skirt, blushing at the thought of showing her legs. But he was going to see them eventually, wasn't he? Even without the pants? She hugged herself, trying to be brave. She wanted to go into the water.
"The waves will push you around a little. It's fun, but it might be too much work if you wear a dress. No one will see." Victoria met and held his eyes. "Except for me of course." Diego scratched the back of his head as he looked around the room. "Public beaches have changing rooms right in the water…" Diego started mumbling again. "Wet clothes tend to…cling."
He took a deep breath and went on. "If we had time, we could get you a swimming costume, but they don't look very comfortable. No one wears them here. And it's not indecent for a husband and wife. Rebecca doesn't have changing rooms. No one will see. I'll close my eyes. We can bring a blanket for you, or you can wear my robe."
"Yes." Victoria repeated herself when her first response wasn't audible.
Diego glanced at her fiery face. "Rebecca might come if you want her to."
Victoria fidgeted with her fingers, poked a foot out to look at her leg through her skirt. Pants? "You said no chaperones."
"I also want you to have a good time, and not worry that I'm going to do something you don't want me to."
Victoria glanced again at her toes. She needed to stop acting like a wife who didn't love her husband. Victoria walked over to him and wrapped her arms around his waist. "No chaperones."
"Really? Great!" Diego said with a grin, then tilted her head up for a quick kiss. "So we'll get Jacqueline to find you a pair of pants." Diego fingered the sleeve of her blouse. "And a shirt, so you don't have to mess up your pretty blouses."
Victoria's mouth fell open in surprise.
"What?"
Victoria shook her head. "Nothing." She rested her head against his chest, reminding herself she wasn't afraid of him. She was lucky to have a husband who considered her opinion, who cared about her preferences.
"I love you, Victoria. We're going to be a perfect couple. I'll show you."
Victoria listened to his voice rumbling out of his chest. She hoped she could live up to his promise.
Zzz
Author's Note 2: So yeah, they're still talking in circles a little. I was so surprised...I really thought the shaving scene would turn out differently. I was really frustrated with the outcome...and yes, I know I'm the writer, and no, I can't explain it!
I can't believe this story is over 32,000 words and it's only covering about maybe one full day in California since Diego proposed. I've started writing again thanks to the positive feedback and family atmosphere in our Facebook group, and from hitting over 100 reviews on this story! Woo hoo! Just getting back into the swing of writing, so be honest but gentle if you like it or don't like it.