A/N: Hey! Autumn here! :)
Some edits were made on 1/2/2015
Sorry for the delay in updating...
Also, this chapter is slightly more angtsy, though I'll try to include more fluff scences in the future.
And um, yeah. Updates would most likely be irregular since we're busy with our schedules.
Gomenasai!
Hope you'll enjoy the story and pardon my poor grammar skills...
Soft orange blanket pooled around his petite frame as he buries his head into his arms and huddles close to the wall, the pillow supporting his back.
An hour has passed but it felt like an eternity.
His heart felt heavy and the sadness surge up so high that it physically hurts inside.
It's not like the kind of sadness where you cry all the time, but more like a pain that overwhelms your entire body, the entire soul.
Like drowning in an ocean, leaving his heart aching and his stomach empty.
Making him feel weak and tired.
And yet he can't even sleep because the pain and sorrows are in his dreams too.
A sadness where he has no way to escape.
x.X.x
Reborn slowly makes his way up the stairs before hovering hesitantly outside the door to the room of a little brunet.
A brunet, he knows that has fallen to pieces and his jaw tightens with anger both at the Estrano and himself because he has failed.
Failed to save Nana and Iemitsu.
Failed to protect Tsuna.
He doesn't know what to do.
Even after telling Aria that he can coax Tsuna out to have dinner with an air of confidence, he hasn't communicated with his surrogate nephew/godson for years.
What is he going to do when Tsuna asks for his parents?
What if Tsuna cries?
How does one comforts another?
The hitman snapped out of his thoughts when he heard a soft whimper from the other side of the door, soft enough to go unnoticed, but he isn't the world's greatest hit man for no reason.
Clutching the brim of his fedora before gently removing it, the hit man raked a hand through his raven hair before a sigh escape his lips, Leon gently licks his fingers in an attempt to soothe his own fluctuating emotions.
Reborn visibly steeled himself before his hand moved and wrapped itself around the door knob, slowly turning it open, a loud creak echoes in the room and Reborn narrowed his eyes at the small figure.
The brunet had had frozen, flinching minutely in surprise before he quickly pretended to be asleep.
The raven hair man sighed, the ache in his heart growing stronger before he slowly made his way into the room, gently placing his fedora on the bedside table before turning towards Tsuna.
x.X.x
Tsuna could feel the shame crawling all over his skin when he realized that the hit man was watching him from the door before slowly closing the distance between them and the bed sink down slightly from the man's weight.
He feels like his brain is splattering emotions on like he is a modern art and he couldn't help but feel pathetic for making Reborn sitting there and watching him going through the thunderstorm of his own emotions.
And the pain, the hurt.
Everything was increased by hundreds, thousand folds when his gaze landed on the hitman.
The death of the hitman wasn't clean (bloodied chest, more than half his face gone, burning skin that flakes and falls like black snow, stomach sliced open and his organs spilling out.)
He could feel himself shaking so badly and he was so, so tired that he can't even focus and doesn't even bother clamping his emotions down anymore.
He wants to die.
It hurts.
It hurts a lot.
He's like a short fuse bomb and a long time radiation at the same time, leaking; he's leaking and falling apart like old rusty pipes.
It hurts.
And the pain flashing across the same onyx orbs that are still so precious to him makes it even harder for him to breathe.
No.
No.
Something. He must do something to remove that look from Reborn's eyes.
He can't let him suffer because of his stupid actions.
Slowly, the brunet looks up, his gaze locking onto Reborn's onyx ones and he did what came to his mind at that moment.
x.X.x
He inhaled sharply like someone has punched him in the gut.
The brunet is smiling.
Tsuna is smiling.
But why does the pain in his heart stings even more? Like a needle lodge in it.
His eyes widened slightly when realization dawned upon him, hitting him like a sledgehammer.
Oh.
Oh.
Tsuna is smiling…
He is smiling to stop the tears that are falling.
To stop my pain.
Within a heartbeat, his body pitches forward and engulfs the brunet in his arms.
"I'm sorry." The words tumble out of his mouth gruffly, his throat thick with emotions, too tight for any words as he tightened his grip, ignoring the stiffening of the little boy.
x.X.x
Aria gently opens the door as softly as possible, silently stepping into the room.
She giggled.
Who would have thought that the hitman had a soft side too?
She cups a hand over her mouth to stop the giggles from escaping and waking up the two, another hand shakily took a picture of a boy snuggled warmly against the raven hair man who had an arm used as a pillow by the brunet and another wrapped protectively around him.
Aria grinned at the peaceful expression of the brunet before putting away her phone.
She sighed. The other three children seem to be adapting to the new situations well and from what she had heard from them, it was all because of the little brunet that lies silently in the hitman arms.
Whenever the bad men come to bring us to the lab, Tsuna would always make them angry and they would take him instead.
She cringed at the thought and a surge of pity whelms up within her when Mukuro's teary gaze surface within her mind.
Carding a hand through her hair, she bit back another sigh and squashed down another burst of fury.
There's nothing more they can do.
They can only protect and wait for Tsuna to heal.
Her hand reached out towards the brunet, only for Reborn's arm to tighten around the child. With a smile stretched across her face, she softly exited the room, missing the small whimper that slipped through the brunet's lips.
x.X.x
He resisted the urge to hurl the contents of his stomach, his legs giving out as his body drops like a stone helplessly.
He could taste the coppery liquid from the tear of his lips, the only thing stopping him to chalk the fall of the man as a nightmare.
The fall of the world's greatest hitman as a horrifying nightmare.
"It's a nightmare," he chanted with fervor, "It's all a nightmare."
But he knows it's not.
Not with the signs screaming at him.
The pain still pounding from burning of his skin.
A pair of dead onyx eyes staring back.
The smell of charred flesh.
The way his throat constricts tightly while wet, hot tears flows out of his eyes that was squeezed tightly shut.
Reborn's dead.
They are all dead.
He has lost everything to them.
(I won't die so easily, dame-Tsuna. Look after yourself and protect your family. Promise me.)
(What is it that you fight for, Vongola Decimo?)
(What is it that you risk your life for? You, who are obsessed and unable to let go.)
(There is no longer anything for you to protect.)
x.X.x
With a choked-off cry, Tsuna shot up in his bed (throwing Reborn's arm aside violently), momentarily disoriented and drenched in sweat as he gasped for breath. One shaky hand reached up to cover his eyes, his breathing harsh.
(What is it that you fight for, Vongola Decimo?)
He shuddered, his arms tightening around him.
(What is it that you risk your life for?)
The brunet tensed and his heart started pounding hard in his chest, his knuckles deathly white from fisting and blood started dripping down from his palms.
(There is no longer anything for you-.)
"Tsuna?"
They are all dead.
"Tsunayoshi?"
All dead.
"-Yoshi! Oi, Tsuna! Snap out of it!"
Reborn clucked his tongue while he shook Tsuna violently and frowned when the brunet peered up at him with something akin to uncertainty.
He had seen those emotions before, not many, but enough to recognize it. People in the mafia that had been out on the field for too long, forgetting what a friendly human contact was like. The confusion and distress in the brunet's body language, as well as the silent scream for help in his eyes.
Something he had seen in veteran employees of the Vongola that had once taken part in the mission of wiping out those deemed enemies in the last purge by the world's most powerful underground organization.
"Tsuna?" His voice came out as a whisper, afraid that the brunet fragile sanity might shatter anytime.
To his surprise, the brunet's shivering lessened slightly with every deep breath he took, though a sudden flash of grief took him by surprise before the boy finally calmed down and blinks, jolted out of his memories.
"M'sorry…" The brunet hung his head in shame, his voice slightly hoarse from screaming in his dreams earlier. Reborn sighed before gently placing a hand on his head.
"You know you can tell me anything, right?"
A firm hold pulls him upright, and Tsuna's gaze rested on the hitman, blinking at him in surprise. The hitman smirked at him (a familiar expression he'll never forget), a rare display of concern radiating from his onyx orbs, and Tsuna feels something in his chest all but give way. His eyes burn and he prays that he isn't about to start crying in front of this man, his very first hero.
He ducks his head, his hands coming up to cover his face. He won't let anyone see him weep. He won't, he can't—even if he's never managed to grieve properly, even if the loss is still a gaping, bleeding hole in his heart—
A strong arm curves around his back, and Reborn, one of his precious family, tugs him a step closer, lets him rest his head on his shoulder and weep silently.
x.X.x
Tsuna wakes up, rubbing his eyes sleepily before jumping in shock when he saw the hitman sleeping soundly by his side.
He could feel himself becoming horrified at his action.
Did he snuggled up against Reborn when he was sleeping?!
"What are you thinking about, dame-Tsuna?" A gruff voice drops into his ears from above while he squirmed slightly, trying to free himself from the protective hold from the raven hair man.
When he finally freed himself, the brunet all but fled with pink tinged cheeks towards the door, his back facing it.
"T-Thanks…" He throws down the word before rushing out of the room, slamming the door shut behind him.
Reborn chuckled.
Looks like the kid will be fine.