Well, I'm in a writing mood, so I felt like going for the second chapter…Don't want to make this a first chapter write forever…Let's start steaming forward!

By the way, the chapters are named after certain poems I've written...and at the end of each chapter instead of an omake or something, I have the poem...Most of them fit with the mood of darkness in Evangelion, though not necessarily Evangelion-linked.

Well, let's get this started!

Disclaimer: I don't own Evangelion or its characters. Gainax does, and they rock. Who else could create both Evangelion and FLCL!

The Year 2022

Tokyo 3, Japan

I couldn't bear to let him see me like this.

No, not like this.

I don't know if he's cognizant or anything, but it doesn't matter, I can't let him see me like this.

I sigh, slowly unraveling my messy hair in the mirror, staring at my steadily aging face. I still get a lot of lecherous glances, not that I care anymore…

It's a mess…just…all a mess…

First Kaji…then Asuka…and because of that…my beautiful charges…They deserved more than this. Far far more.

Fucking Gendo Ikari. Fucking Angels. Fucking Third Impact.

No time to think, I'm already late. Touji's probably already with him…

I sigh, pushing a mass of empty beer bottles away and inspecting my clothes, brushing off any signs of the mess that is my apartment.

I'm…presentable…

I sigh, stepping towards the door.

"Is there anything I can do, my Kaji?"

I can almost see him there, still just as young with that lop-sided grin on his face.

Almost, almost, but I usher it away. That's bad craziness.

Bad craziness.

I know I'm late, dammit, you don't need to tell me that. Looks like Touji's already came and gone.

Yes, yes, I know visitation hours are almost over, I need to see my Shinji…My poor, poor Shinji…I don't know how to feel but empty…

I bend over, brushing the hair from his face, it's been growing longer.

He looks the same as he did at their marriage…oh I remember crying like a baby…But…his eyes had changed…They looked empty…Numb.

"Who gives this woman to be married to this man?"

Misato Katsuragi stood up proudly, smiling at Asuka.

Asuka Langley Sohryu was a vision of beauty at nineteen, she had matured into a ravishing young woman, and in that elegant white dress she seemed almost angelic. Misato felt tears welling in the corner of her eyes.

"Gina, since you intend to enter into marriage, join your right hands together and declare your consent to the government of Japan."
Shinji smiled, beaming to a point of disbelief, Asuka and Shinji smiled at each other with stupid, simple smiles. Simple and uncomplicated, pure looks of utter happiness. It had been a long and insane road to this point. One would have imagined them dead by now, not marrying in bliss.

"I Shinji Ikari take thee Asuka, to be my wedded wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish til death do us part."
"I Asuka Langley…Ikari…take thee Shinji, marriage to have and to hold for sickness and in health, richness and poorness oh, to love and to cherish, in the best and worst of times… til death do us part."
"The rings please. Thank you. Bless these rings and grant that they who wear them may abide in faithful love and continue in bliss forever…."

Shinji turned to her, slipping the immaculate ring onto her delicate finger as Asuka did the same back to him.
"As a token of our faith and abiding love with this ring I thee wed.
"In token and pledge of our biding love and constant faith, with this ring I thee wed."
"For as much as Asuka and Shinji have consented together in wedlock and declared the same by joining of hands and giving and receiving of rings. I now pronounce you man and wife. Those whom have joined together today, let no man put asunder. You may kiss the bride."

Let…no man put asunder…If it wasn't a man, then what was it, dammit?

Her Asuka…Her Shinji…Supposedly a man had pulled them asunder, a drunk driver one late night. Shinji changed the second he heard, and never recovered, growing in delirium and denial.

I reach out, cupping Shinji's cheek, words spilling out of my mouth.

"Shinji…please…come back to us…Where are you in that mind of yours?"

"No…Misato…you don't understand!"

Misato sobbed quietly.

"What're you talking about Shinji! Please…don't do this…you're…you're just hurting yourself…Asuka's gone…No one took her away…She's passed…"

Shinji smiled desperately and shook his head.

"Not even you…understand."

I sigh, leaning in to kiss Shinji on the lips, faintly, just a delicate brush.

"Oh…but I do understand Shinji…You know how much she meant for me as well…I love you both…but I can't see you like this…No one likes it…No one…"

Can he feel anything there? Wherever he is? Can he feel my lips? Hear the love in my voice? Does he miss me? Is Asuka where he is?
I feel overcome by grief and wrap my arms around his limp form, leaning my face in and kissing him passionately.

I know…its wrong…but…I need it…I need to feel him close…I'm weak…

I sob into his unfeeling chest and slowly I feel his arms wrapping around my back.

Just a hallucination…another one…Are you around then Kaj-

Suddenly I an ethereal scream and feel Shinji shove me away onto the ground, it feels real this time…oh….darkness…weak…

The figure in black hovered above nothingness, his eagle helm looking down patronizingly on nothingness.

The boy winced, watching as the red-haired girl smiled at him and walked away.

He turned away, for a final time.

"Can I dream alone?"

"That would not be a dream. It would just be a projection of reality."

"Then... where is my dream?"

"That is the extension of reality."

"My... where is my reality?"

"That is at the end of the dream."

"Move, move, move, move, move, move, move, move, move, move, move, move, please move! If it doesn't move now, if I don't do it now, everyone's going to die! I can't stand it anymore! It'll all be for nothing if you don't move!"

"Eva Unit 01? No, I'm not there…" The pale girl turned to the boy, her crimson eyes glistening.

"This is the sea of LCL... The primordial soup of life. A world without AT Fields... Without your own shape. An ambiguous world where it is impossible to tell where you end and other people start. A fragile world where you exist everywhere, and thus exist nowhere. You must recover you lost self on your own. When you'll be back on Earth, if you succeed to imagine yourself, everybody will be able to recover"

"Back on Earth!"

"Yes, you must go back on Earth...It has changed now."

The boy sighed, shaking his head.

"You betrayed me! You betrayed my hopes! My life!"

"You've misunderstood from the very beginning. You believed in it wrongly Embrace the figure in black."

"Nobody needs me. Therefore, everyone should die."

"Then, what is your hand for?".

"Everyone is the same, even though I'm here or not. Nothing ever

changes. That's why everyone should die."

"Then, what is your heart for?"

"I don't deserve to be here either. Therefore, I should also die."

"Then, why are you here?"

"Can I be here?"

A soft voice.

"Only if you wish it…"

"No…I've had enough of this…It is only in my mind that the pain exists…therefore."

"It is done"

"No! I don't want this! Asuka! Kaworu!"

He tore through the fog and darkness, feeling warmness encircle him, he tore through the darkness and faced the figure in black.

It looked like himself…except this Shinji had vile glowing, fiery eyes and a malevolent smirk and half of his face was slowly being covered by a growing mask. The mask was streaked with purple and white and it reminded him of Eva Unit 01's demonic appearance, making Shinji shudder backwards.

But no, he could see through the fire in this Shinji's eyes, this figure in black, behind it he saw hollowness, emptiness…Hollow Shinji…

Shinji screamed at the top of his voice, until his tongue burned and his lungs were torn ragged.

Shinji awoke suddenly with full purpose and cognizance. He felt as if he had heard their conversations with him over the years, one-sided though they were, he felt as if he knew the truth.

Asuka…

It rushed into his skull just as he felt a rush of wind, pushing a sobbing Misato roughly away just before a chunk of rock flattened them both, rolling out of the way, his bonds broken, his mind blazing as he looked at the massive creature that had barged through the sanitarium walls, apparently slaying the nurse.

"An….angel!"

It was massive and horrific, a black bear-like beast with bony spikes covering it and a massive white mask covering its face with hollow terrifying eyes. It roared, smashing through the walls and cleaving the corpse in half.

Shinji stared in fear and confusion at it, not understanding what to do, his contemplation giving the creature swing its massive paw at another target.

Misato!

Misato rose quietly, feeling a pain in the back of her head.

Shinji stood in front of her, staring intently, furiously at the crumbled wall of the sanitarium and the dead nurse laying there.

Her glance flitted back and forth to Shinji and the rubble, wondering what in the hell he was staring at, when suddenly, she felt a suddenly rush of pain from an unseen force and hurtled painfully onto the ground.

Shinji screamed in fury, rushing towards Misato and hurling chunks of rock and rubble that bounced harmlessly off the massive creature.

She was alive, though he could see blood oozing from her broken nose and from her lips.

He cradled her in his arms and looked up just in time to see the massive beast rearing its claws back for a final swipe.

So…it ends here…

"The 19th Messenger!"

He picked up a piece of stone angrily and hurled it at the creature's face, sending a slight crack in the creature's mask, though it only made the beast flinch, the creature rearing back again.

Shinji shut his eyes in desperation, trying to take himself back to those memories of Asuka, of their child, of her legs, her eyes, her soul, her skin, her essence, her being, her…her…

Suddenly a coarse female voice, totally unfamiliar.

"Rocks? I'll show you how it's done!"

He opened his eyes just in time to see a pale young woman dressed in a black kimono hurtle towards the beast, drawing a sword at her hip and cleaving it in two.

Perhaps he had been safer staying inside that darkness…at least it was quiet and peaceful…

A Dream

I had a dream it wasn't real

And all but meaningless

That life and its lessons

Tests

Love were all

Just nothing

Flowing past a jive

That really it meant nothing more

Than sex and drugs and a constant buzz

To live and be alive

I timbered down

Gilded stairs

And searched around confused

A life around me hapless

Hopeless

A prince without a muse

I had a dream it wasn't real

That I could in my rage

Tear across page by page

This life

This loss

This petty age

Indeed I can

Indeed I can

Though I fear to try to see

Where the dream ends

Or where it began

If

It

Began

Copyright Sanbud Tehrani

Utterly confused? Short chapter? Odd chapter?

Don't worry, more will progress as we advance, getting longer, deeper, cooler, just stick for the ride. Hehehe….