Chapter Thirty-Three: Miko's Lifeline

-x-x-x-x-x-

Oh but I
Need some time off from that emotion
Time to pick my heart up off the floor
And when that love comes down
Without devotion
Well it takes a strong man baby
But I'm showing you the door
Yes I've gotta have faith...
- "Faith" by George Michael

-x-x-x-x-x-

Devnos looked around warily, his mind racing as he tried to figure out what he had done, or what was needed from him. Why had Gaffil demanded his return to this place?

Rafintair's brother's hands were steepled before his dark face, and Devnos forced his body to bend in a bow. Flashes of his father's face and Sanar's stunned eyes raced through his mind, but Devnos ignored them. There was no place for that, anymore, and certainly not in the presence of Gaffil Jir.

//"Promise me you'll protect them, Devnos."//

He hadn't betrayed his father; Devnos refused to believe he had. He couldn't have. His father would have understood; this was the only way.

The only way.

"How goes your reunion with the members of your…family?" Gaffil asked, his words a coiled snake, waiting to pounce.

Devnos swallowed, forcing down the lump in his throat, and found his expression of disgust. "I had not before realized how…weak they are."

How lame was that statement? He was a horrible liar. There was no chance Gaffil had bought it; none at all.

//"Protect them."//

Gaffil rose, an adder playing with its prey. "Had you not?"

"To think that once I lived without Pucijir's guidance…" Devnos shook his head, and had to restrain himself from becoming hysterical. Pucijir's guidance? Hah!

Once, he had believed – just a little. It had been the easiest course of action, away from his family, away from Sanar, who fought, and dug in her heels at each turn. Away from the memory of his father.

But never again. Never.

But, Force, it would kill him.

"The High Priest Horaire believes…"

Speaking of the priest, Devnos' list of people to kill was getting very long. "Yes?"

"He believes you are a heretic."

Devnos closed his eyes, and waited to die.

-x-x-x-x-x-

Krista pulled her abundance of blond hair up into a ponytail, cracked her gum, and smiled prettily at Devnos. "So," she said. "Devnos. I'm here to start your interrogation. Hope you don't mind, because it won't change anything if you do."

Devnos' expression was annoyed. "I haven't been to the Imperial Palace in nearly half a year. I know nothing."

Krista rolled her eyes. "And yet you knew to go after Jaina, and you know that Lord Onyx changed back into our adorable, guilt-ridden Zekk."

"My sister was present at Onyx's turning," Devnos replied, a mixture of condescension and chagrin evident in his voice. "Emperor Palpatine could not afford to shuttle me aside."

Krista ran her tongue over her teeth, considering him. "Okay, then. I'll just get Kip to pry the 'secret' stuff out of you later. This is just feeling you out, and all, and—"

Devnos started, then swallowed hard. "I thought Kyp Durron was dead," he interrupted.

Krista's brow furrowed. "Well, of course he's… Oh! No. I'm talking about Kip: K-I-P." When he didn't respond, she heaved an exasperated sigh and added, "You know…the clone?"

Playing with the chains that held his wrists behind him, Devnos sat back in his uncomfortable chair, torn between relief and despair. "I see."

Krista stood – perhaps she was trying to inspire more fear than her blond hair and blue eyes initiated? "Who knows about Onyx?" she fired out.

"Me. Five – no, four, now; I killed one of them – other Dark Jedi, not counting their apprentices. Who else?" he wondered out loud. "Oh, the Imperial Guards, Brakiss' aide, and maybe one or two politicians, but that's it." Devnos shrugged. "As you've no doubt guessed, Brakiss is afraid that the Empire will swing in Onyx's favour if they find out he left Brakiss' tutelage. Onyx made sure he was popular before he turned on the current government."

Krista blinked. "Well. That was easy." She paused, then tilted her head inquisitively. "Are you lying?"

Devnos shrugged indifferently. What did he care about the Empire's secrets? It had only ever been a distraction, a tool – a stepping stone for his power. Devnos had even found out about the Palpatine dupe long ago, and it had done nothing to raise his level of respect for the emperor.

"Well…" Krista drew the word out, tossing her gaze to the ceiling before she looked back at Devnos. "Um, what else do you do? I mean, besides kidnapping Jedi to use on their ex-Sith boyfriends?"

"What kind of interrogator are you?" he demanded incredulously. "I've been questioned more harshly as a teen, when I came home late!"

She blew a bubble with her gum, then popped it. "I told you – I'm just feeling you out. Kip will be the one to crack down on you. He's capable of planning out the entire session, filled with important questions," Krista added.

"Larifx," he muttered. "I'm being interrogated by some bubble-gum doll. Who hates me up there, anyway?"

"Well, not whoever made your face," she consoled him, either missing or ignoring his insult. "You're kind of cute when you're mad." She grinned.

At the door, where he had been watching, Miko's jaw tightened.

Devnos' jaw unhinged. "You are the most brainless girl I have ever met."

"Hey!" Miko said angrily, although he, himself, had thought something along those lines once or twice. "Didn't your parents teach you any manners?"

Devnos gestured wildly at Krista, who was watching him with an unusually calculating expression on her face. "She's insane! Am I a prisoner of war, or a dummy for her to practice pick-up lines on?"

"Why does everyone think I'm so incompetent?" Krista demanded rhetorically, rolling her eyes. "I do not need practice."

"No, you need a life," Devnos retorted.

The word "life" had barely left his lips when Devnos' head spun from the force of Miko's blow. "Why don't you shut up?" the former Dark Jedi sneered.

Devnos raised a hand to his tender eye, and flinched deeply. "What was that for? Even if you're her boyfriend, you can't argue – "

Miko pushed Devnos right off the chair. "I told you," he seethed, "to be quiet."

"Miko…!" Krista scowled in frustration and dragged her co-operative away by the elbow before he could cause more trouble. She paused at the doorway and looked back at Devnos, who was pulling himself back up. "Oh, whatever," she muttered. "Not like it was working, anyway…"

Miko really hoped she was referring to the interrogation, and not to her flirting, because he was teetering at the moment – over the edge of telling her, of losing control of his temper. Jaina had told him to confess, but Miko didn't know if he could stand to wear his heart out on his sleeve yet.

But everyone else knew; how much longer could he hide it?

Krista slammed the door shut behind them. "What's the matter with you, anyway?" she demanded, putting her hands on her slender hips. "Honestly! Attacking him! I'm the one who's interrogating him!"

"Who's flirting with him, you mean," Miko growled before he realized what he was saying.

Krista's eyes widened, and her bottom lip dropped to shape her mouth into an "O". "I was not!"

He shook his head, avoiding her eyes. "Please, Kris. I know you, remember? If it has a Y chromosome, you start batting your pretty blue eyes like no tomorrow."

"That is not true!" she denied with a self-righteous stomp of her foot. "I've never batted my eyes at the laundry man, or the guy who serves fries at Luoss' Café, or…"

Kriff lessons in patience, Miko decided. He'd never been very good at them, anyway. Something always unravelled, leading to disaster. Besides: Jaina was right. He couldn't live with this secret forever. "Kris. C'mon. Stop kidding yourself."

She pouted. "What?" Miko, she groused, is being very weird.

"You were flirting with Devnos Klis, just like you flirt with every other guy you come in contact with. And you don't give a Hutt's butt about any of them."

"I give a Hutt's butt about you," she rejoined petulantly.

"That's because I'm not one of your little toys."

Krista smiled brightly, innocently. "Of course you are, Miko. Boys are my – I mean…"

His lips twitched in an attempt to appear amused. Shoving his hands into the pockets of his pants, Miko figured that he was a horrible actor. It's a miracle I haven't been found out by the Empire yet. "See, Kris? Even you know it."

"But…"

"You go from guy to guy, bestowing this kiss or that smile on people, like those are your only gifts." Miko hadn't meant to be angry; he hadn't meant to let his emotions through. But if she was just going to stand there, with her make-up distracting people from her genuine beauty, and get away with toying with others' emotions, maybe it was time to let out a few of the old demons. With a little direction, of course. "Why can't you just care – just a little?"

"I do care."

"About who, Krista?" he retorted, his voice rising in volume. "Besides the brothers you gripe about all the time, who do you actually care about?"

"I care about you," she whispered, hurt.

Miko's heart thumped more than just a little louder than normal at that.

He didn't really need tactics with this relationship, did he? It could work out on its own.

Except, actually, it couldn't. And he knew it. For one, she'd discard him the second he transformed into just a number. Not to mention that her brothers would kill him.

He really, really hated this whole "patience" thing. It sucked. Especially because it allowed him too much time to meet some unpleasant truths about the woman he loved. Like the fact that she wasn't really a woman yet – just a girl who didn't see a reason to be mature about anything other than her work.

I had to fall for the baby of the family, didn't I? Force, I'm an idiot. Even O—Zekk knows it.

"Miko? Didn't you hear me?"

The Intel operative's eyes settled on her. "I heard you. I'm just trying to decide if I believe you."

She back-handed him across the chest. "Now who's ignoring the truth? Of course I care about you – you're my friend. Duh!"

He fell back a step, taking his hands from his pockets to cross his arms over his chest while he stared at the floor. "Of course."

There was a quick, excited intake of breath as Krista almost bounced over to him. "I get it now!" she crowed, her hurt vanishing in realization. "You have a crush on me."

Miko wanted to shake her. She made it sound so stupid. So…juvenile. But, then again, it was nothing new to her.

He had become just another guy. Just another boy who'd fallen for her charms.

"I do not," he denied, scowling at her.

Krista's blue eyes sparkled. "Of course you do. That's why you were so mad about that Klis guy. You're so sweet, Miko."

She thought he was sweet? Stars. He was even less than just one of the boys she played with. When had he gone from the bad boy, to the reluctant hero, to the pathetic geek who stammered, blushed, tripped and fumbled whenever she looked at him?

"I used to command a deadly squadron of Dark Jedi. I am not 'sweet'. Force, Krista!"

Unexpectedly, she withdrew, her expression becoming a little more serious. "Miko – "

"Just get your laugh out of it, already."

Her eyes widened and the sparkle disappeared completely from her eyes. "Miko, I'm not – I didn't mean to – "

He pushed past her, stopping at the viewport and bracing his arms against the divisions between the double-sided plexi-glass. Devnos had a shiner already, but he wasn't reacting like a normal Dark Jedi. The dark-haired man just looked worn out.

Miko wondered what Devnos thought about his sister, who was in the Hapes med-centre, being saved from a deadly poison that she had contacted on Devnos' ship.

"You never finished your Jedi training, did you?"

Krista came up behind him. "I barely completed eight months. More important things to do, and all. Besides, meditation and lifting rocks…not really my thing."

When she tried to slip into the crack between his arm and his torso, he let her slide through, then he took a step to the side. Away from her. "Did Luke ever tell you, 'Always in motion is the future'?"

She was biting her nails; she always did it when she was upset or particularly thoughtful. He wondered if that meant anything, of if she was only considering his topic change. "It rings a bell."

"It's common sense; the future's always changing. Jaina brought Zekk back, and gave the Rebellion an ace. But if she had given up on her love for him, we would never have caught that. Everyone else had given up. Kriff, everyone was pretty sure there was something wrong with her in the head. But maybe she had a vision. Maybe she knew that she could do it."

Krista touched his elbow. "Miko – "

"For once, Kris, just let me talk, please."

Her fingers slid down his arm until they met with his palm, her eyes resting closely on their entwined hands, but she didn't continue.

"I have a vision. It terrifies me." For the first time since he moved to the viewing area, Miko's eyes met with Krista's. "It's you, in ten years. Just…doing what you always do, provoking your brothers with a new guy, having fun with all your little friends…but completely alone."

Her free arm wrapped around her stomach while her gaze skittered about nervously. "I won't be alone," she argued weakly. "I'll have you, after all."

He took his hand from hers. "No. You won't."

The blonde's eyes flew up, and they were suddenly shining with tears that she hadn't expected. "I will!"

"No, Krista," he denied tiredly. "I'm not playing games; I'm not one of your playthings that you can flaunt in your brothers' faces, then discard."

"It wouldn't be like that," she said, fighting to keep her expression defiant.

"You know it would." Miko sighed, resigned. "I love you, Kris. I don't have a crush on you. I'm not just attracted to you. I love you. With that kind of thing, you have to at least pretend you aren't playing around. Let's face it: the only commitment you have in your life is to your brothers. And that's mandatory."

She hadn't heard a word past his second statement. "You…you love me?"

He looked at her, her blue eyes shining with tears and more. "What, didn't any of your boys use the same line?"

Krista sniffed, regaining some of her casual attitude. "Why should I believe any of them?"

Miko exhaled slowly. "Oh." His fingers tapped against the window ledge for a minute before he pushed off the wall. For a second, he indulged himself with a last look. "Well, have a nice life, Kris." He turned to leave, and she spun around with him.

"What?"

Miko kept walking, but replied over his shoulder. "This is goodbye. For now."

After her initial spin, she remained frozen to her spot. "But – but you just – you said – "

Despite himself, he stopped and turned around. "I love you, Krista Harif," he repeated deliberately. "But you don't love me. At least, not enough to grow up."

"I am grown up," she retorted, stomping her foot. "I'm eighteen in a month."

He rolled his eyes, but couldn't help his smile. "Kris… You're just a flirt. And I'm not going to get caught any more than I already am. I'm not into martyrdom." He wanted to reach out and comfort her – she looked so lost – but he stayed where he was.

//"Give yourself a lifeline, Miko."//

Jaina had been right, but he wasn't walking away. Not permanently.

Miko looked at his love for a long moment, tucking away the memory of every last flaw and perfection. Then he turned away. "Goodbye, Krista." The door closed behind him.

-x-x-x-x-x-

She stared at his back, and then at the closed door, as it all sank in.

Miko had never lied to her; never even left her, when she needed him.

Never.

It was suddenly impossible to breathe, and she folded over, choking and gasping, trying to catch what she had lost.

They weren't supposed to leave her! Krista had been so very careful to make sure they didn't; she had always raced in the other direction. She wasn't going to lose people she cared about – not again. Miko had understood that.

Hadn't he?

The tears tumbled from her eyes, and images of her parents – Why did you leave me? Did you not want me? – blurred as the world twirled around her.

Miko had left her.

It wasn't fair.

But her chrono ticked away the seconds, and she realized, with horror, that he was painfully right. Miko had never, ever lied to her; for as long as she had known him, he had been completely honest with her, and she with him.

Stars, how long had she pushed everyone away?

Better question: how long had she been running from people who were willing to stay?

Wiping her eyes franticly, she ran to the door, threw it open and looked for him.

But, already, Miko was nowhere to be found. "Don't leave," she whispered.

She couldn't tell if she was talking to everyone she knew, and had ever known, or if she was speaking to just Miko.

At the moment, weren't the two the same thing?

They had all been pushed away by her self-enforced isolation.

-x-x-x-x-x-

Please R&R :)

.Tjz