Lately, I've been taking it slow…I know doing that tends to lose readers, but oh well…
I'll try to write some more, but sometimes writing fanfiction seems so useless…and sometimes I enjoy it.
Anyway, I'll try to update Madness and my other fics when I can.
As for some concerns about this story:
1.) Don't worry, you'll see all your favorite Bleach characters. Except probably Ichigo, since in this reality he never even meets Rukia.
2.) And no, I'm not making Shinji an Ichigo clone, you should know that by now personality-wise…just because his zanpakutō happens to be similar doesn't mean a thing, they will develop drastically different paths and abilities. The only reason Shinji also has a massive zanpakutō is because Shinji also happens to have a great spiritual presence. Pretty obvious that he would have one despite his melancholy.He's a very passionate fellow overall despite his apathy.
3.) And no, I won't give up the secret on WHEN Asuka will come if she comes or blah blah blah people whining about wanting to see Asuka/ Shinji. Listen, I said this fic is going to be A/S, and it will be and already is. Just because every chapter isn't full of Asuka and Shinji making out doesn't change that. There's something needed called a plot.
And FYI, you don't need to be familiar with both animes to necessarily enjoy this fic, though it helps.
Also, I've been fiddling with formats...Italics are In Shinji's Head. Bold is Dialogue. And Underlined is either my beginning and end Author's Notes or the Location Titles at the beginning of each little part. It's all pretty self-explanatory I hope.
Everything elseActions, world, possible third person contemplation by Shinji.
Is it very difficult to read or understand? Give me some feedback.
Here we go!
Disclaimer: I don't own Evangelion or its characters. Gainax does, and they rock. Who else could create both Evangelion and FLCL! I don't own any fictional Bleach properties either. What's the need for a disclaimer anyway? This is a freaking Fanfiction site!
Location Unknown
The boy the world forgot…it didn't take long.
The broiling masses soon felt passing their genuine wishes of admiration.
You saved the world? Well shit happens buddy, get back to the end of the line.
The boy his blood forgot…father forsaken, mother murdered or sacrificed, family frankly nothing but a sadly familiar vice that gripped his heart.
But she…she had never forgotten him.
She was the lining around his grim life. She tasted of cherries and unflinching passion. His deep blue eyes had beckoned to her, along with their ties, their ties of misery. Misery may love company, but company eventually eradicates that melancholy.
Two hands wrapped against each other halted one hand cutting its own body in hurt. It was a fact.
The young woman knew not where she was…or in fact what she was…and how she was.
She thought, and therefore she existed, supposedly.
But how could SHE know that?
Or know why these thoughts of that boy plagued her mind…and the past they once had.
Voices…effervescent…effortlessly streaming into her ears…
No, one voice. Male. Not…
Not the boy…she had never forgotten him.
This one…was someone else.
SomeTHING else? The voice spoke so clearly:
"Since the beginning, no one has ever stood in the heavens. Neither you, nor I, nor even God himself. But that emptiness in the Throne of Heaven shall be filled. Soon that will change... I will be the one to stand in the heavens."
A pause.
"And you will be my stairway there..."
Location Unknown
Darkness. Misery.
Tears ran down Shinji's face as he teetered and shivered on his hands and knees. What had happened? Where was he?
The only fact of significance he was aware of was Asuka being gone. Like she had been gone for the last few years…He descended into a comfortable bliss of the abyss, a terrible silent madness that had kept him away from the outside world for years upon years.
He just couldn't handle her being…no she wasn't dead. He'd never accept that, never forget what he'd seen.
"Hell, I always knew you were a crybaby, Shinji Ikari…"
Shinji rose, staring in disbelief and near hysteria at the visage of Asuka Langley Sohryu standing before him, haughty and beautiful as always.
However this was the Asuka of the Evangelion years, the strident and abusive Asuka, the troubled and confused Asuka, the one he had fallen in love with. The one who would eventually learn to become a far different Asuka, true to herself, one that loved Shinji Ikari and their child.
His child! His child! Hadn't Shinji run away from his son as well?
My god, he realized something horrific now…He had run when his son's mother had disappeared…or died…or…he couldn't accept it.
He rubbed his chin, expecting to feel the beard of Gendo Ikari on his face.
What had he done? What was he becoming?
He stared up at Asuka, realizing he hadn't replied.
No matter, she was a mad hallucination, she had to be.
"Cat got your tongue, Third Child? You seem weak. How do you ever expect to protect the ones you love in the state you're in? You're pathetic!"
Shinji trembled, shouting back in reply.
"Who're you? What are you? Asuka?"
"I am the Asuka in your mind…in your soul…You love me and all Asukas, though I don't know why some of them happen to love you back. What a joke!"
Suddenly he remembered, he could feel the zanpaktou heavy on his back, the feel of the fight, the curve of the blade…and Asuka…he felt Asuka…he saw Asuka. She encompassed him.
"What are you talking about Asuka? What happened to you? What is this?"
She sighed, shaking her head and turning away, back into the abyss.
"You can't find me yet…but…I think you'll have to soon enough…"
She paused, speaking once more sentence before Shinji descended into complete darkness.
"You'll need strength to save her…I don't know why she loves you…but you'll find no sympathy from me, Shinji! Not until you realize your own strength and take hold of it! Until then, your other half will always control you…down beneath."
Tokyo 3, Japan
Touji Suzuhara's House
Shinji?! Shinji?!
He could hear her voice shouting for him…where…why.
Shinji awoke in a mad sweat, his wide eyes alighting upon Misato Katsuragi, the older woman standing above him with nervous eyes.
He hade seen Asuka…heard her words…but she'd spoken cryptically and for some reason, she was 14 again! Bizarre.
A dream. It had to have been. More like a nightmare.
"Shinji!? Shinji?! Wake up please!"
He was in bed…someone's bedroom…naked under the sheets as well, which rather embarrassed and confused him.
At his side Misato was glancing at him nervously, talking, but he couldn't really concentrate on her hurried words.
He remembered now…the battle with…that creature…his father…those things…THEY took her away…did they not?
The woman Rukia…and Misato bruised and flung about…
Finally he spoke, a rather odd greeting to Misato's poor ears.
"Misato...What about your injuries?"
Misato arched a confused eyebrow.
"Injuries? What do you mean Shinji? You've been acting weird since I found you…a gas explosion blew up the hospital when I was about to come visit…no one else inside it survived but you, and I took you home…You were muttering then, to me…and again right now in your sleep…It's been so long since I've heard your voice Shinji…"
"What?"
Suddenly Touji stepped into the room, which was evidently a guess bedroom in the Suzuhara household.
"Yep, and now you're here Shinji, you're welcome…you don't know how crazy it is to see you talking again, to see you breathing normally, acting normally…ever since she…you know…Once I wake up Kaworu he'll be so surprised I have to-"
The mention of Shinji's estranged son sent a sharp pain in his face, as if he had been stabbed.
My son…he's…probably around the age when I was when…father left me…can I prove to be a good father NOW? Can I prove to be anything of use? Or is the Ikari blood too strong in me?
Hikari stepped in as well, shushing him as she glancing worryingly at Shinji lying in bed.
"Not now Touji…Shinji needs his rest, you know that…"
"Yeah…you're right…Sorry..."
The couple nodded kindly to Misato and then left the room while Misato remained at Shinji's side, sighing slowly.
Shinji eyed her carefully, still rather confused.
No injuries? And she hadn't even mentioned the creature…the Hollow…the Angel…whatever one wished to call such a monstrosity. How could she not remember? Madness. He hadn't imagined it
Misato's lips parted and she slowly spoke.
"You know…Shinji…I…understand what you went through…what happened…the denial…the madness…when I lost Kaji, it was the same…but you fell and fell hard…you were…mentally gone…for far too long. You have a son to care for now, Asuka would have wanted you to survive…to take care of your son!"
When you lost Kaji I wasn't there for you…that's the difference…and that…
"…Asuka never died…"
Misato stared at him with grief, overwhelmed by her emotions. She knew not if she should embrace the young man for his sentimental madness and denial or strike at him for being so obstinately insane and reckless.
She could only let out a slow sigh as she rose to leave Shinji to his rest.
"I…don't know what I can do to help you, Shinji…but if you need anything, just call, I'll be sleeping over in the other guest room…And I mean this in general…talk to me…call me…we need to talk…"
She paused before she left the room, continuing.
"I love you Shinji, you know that, we love you, she loved you…you need to keep yourself stable and together at least now that you're back…your son needs you…we need you."
And with that she was gone, closing the door of the bedroom behind her as she left.
Shinji could only stiffen in the guest bed, stretching his aching muscles.
HE certainly could still feel what had happened…but everyone else, everything else seemed to be totally ignorant of it.
WAS he going insane? Had he imagined it all? What else could he have hallucinated? And for how long had this madness been going on for?
Since the day he had seen Rei…there…before he had actually met her? Since he saw Kaworu everywhere, the first Kaworu, all around?
Since he had seen a beast, a monstrous thing take his only love and care away?
No, if this was madness then he could not help it. He had to consider that there was some truth in his life or he wouldn't be able to handle it, insane or not.
He had to rely on what little reason he had left.
What's going on? Misato's wounds were healed. And they think the damage to the hospital was some accidental explosion…Is this Shinigami style damage control?
He felt a chill up his spine. If it was, they were as efficient as Section II. Some secretive divine organization…it was so terrible and bizarre. He could still see Rukia's face in his skull. SHE had been real. She had taken that wound and given her his powers. Powers?
Madness.
Did that person…go back to her so-called home, Soul Society? Or did she simply disappear like all the other figments of my imagination?
Right now, all he need was sleep! Sleep!
But he could hear voices entering his door from outside. Damn were they loud…and familiar…well it WAS Touji's house. But there was something else…
Touji speaking to someone…a female voice talking to Touji…it wasn't Hikari…or Misato.
"-Yeah…he woke up from it after the explosion supposedly…"
"Oh, and is he stable, physically at least?"
"Yeah, I guess…so you're really a relative of Asuka's? You know, we never saw anyone from her side come to the wedding, and she never talked about her family…"
"Yes…indeed I am…
"I can see the Japanese in you, definitely, just like Asuka. Yeah, I can tell by the way you speak Japanese, though you speak quite well for having learned it outside the country."
"Indeed…Thank you."
"Though I still can't believe you're her SISTER! I mean, what're the odds? And why'd you just show up today? What about Kaworu? What about Asuka's funeral? What about-"
Hikari spoke up.
"Touji, stop being so rude…what's important is that she's here today and she's worried about Shinji and Asuka's family and friends here."
The strange female replied.
"Thank you…do you think I may see him?"
"Well, he's probably sleeping…but I'm sure it's alright…he's in the bedroom, right over there."
Shinji stiffened in bed, suddenly terrified out of his mind as he realized the owner of that strange female voice was strolling right towards the room he was in…If it was…that voice? Who was she? Asuka never had any relatives she'd ever spoken about. Except her parents, and there was a long troubled history there, obviously.
He nearly shit himself when Rukia Kuchiki strode into his bedroom, dressed in a normal shirt and short skirt, looking relatively normal for being the mad warrior in black he had supposedly glimpsed.
Unless I imagined it with her face…but then…maybe I saw a family photo and didn't know who she was and it went into my subconscious? But Asuka never had anything about her family…this…is…
Rukia smiled pleasantly at Shinji, standing by his bedside and speaking in rather awkward Japanese.
"Pleased to meet you, Shinji Ikari! I am Rukia, Rukia Langley Sohryu!"
Bullshit!
"Bullshit! What the hell are you-you're the one from-"
Suddenly her delicate hand was held up in front of his face, shushing him. On her palm was written "Say something and I kill you." in black marker.
A shiver went up Shinji's spine as he looked into her pretty but fierce eyes. She definitely meant it and the fake friendliness in her voice was a telltale sign. But how in the hell had she found out about Asuka…or where he lived…or…what the hell? Why didn't Misato remember anything?
He definitely couldn't trust this woman, he couldn't even comprehend what she was capable of, but according to his mad memories she had supposedly saved his life and Misato's.
Unless she'd manipulated his mind to make him think that.
Enough, he couldn't dwell on this madness for very long.
Deep breaths.
"Ok Shinji? Nice to finally meet you!"
At least he knew he wasn't insane.
Yet.
Dead Eyes
Dead eyes, what have you seen? That make your long eyelashes
With amber dewdrops sheen?
So numb and lifeless, I suppose
A soul far past its simple death throes
Cold and distant, so full of hate
If one could only love
And satiate
That gray thirst
That far off love
Of those dead eyes as they stare off above
Into Capricorn and Ganymede
And death and hell and other things
The eyes, they close, the heart, it sinks
The mirror image blinks.
Copyright Sanbud Tehrani
Short chapter? If so, I apologize:
A.) I thought it'd be good to end there.
B.) Don't worry, the next chapter will be quick. While I can't guarantee I'll get to updating all my fics quickly, I already have the next few chapters of THIS particular fanfic planned out and I'll probably update a few chapters for this fanfic this week, hopefully.