I cautiously peeked through my curtain to see the street below. They were still there. Like sharks waiting for their prey to emerge from a coral reef before a feeding frenzy. This was a problem. I couldn't leave my building without them chasing me and throwing questions at my back but I could not stay here all day. It was too soon for the pictures of Edward and me to be in the news but tomorrow morning they would be.
I paced across my living room debating my options. This was a mess. Not only had I brutally rejected Edward out of blind panic, but I did it on display. He probably hates me know. But almost as horrible as the thought of losing Edward forever is the paparazzi's continued attention. It was just salt to the wound.
My appearance needed to change enough that I could sneak by and go about my business. That would be the only aspect of this fiasco that I could control. There are very few people I could trust to come to my apartment and help me transform. Alice or Rosalie would be my first choices but Rosalie was abroad. That left Alice.
I would have to tell her the story of Edward and me, well at least part of it, so she won't grow suspicious or bring up Mikhail again as a reason for my change and the mob at my front door. This could get awkward. I was unsure of how she would take the news. I love Alice, but does she love me enough to accept the fact that I have had sex with her brother? I guess I would know soon.
Carefully I made my way back to the kitchen. Maurice sat next to the counter and watched my search for my cell phone. I scrolled through my contact list and stopped over Alice's name. A thought hit me before I pushed 'send'. What if she is with Jasper? I wouldn't want to interrupt them. I also didn't want to tell Jasper about Edward and I. Alice was one thing. I do not know him well enough to gauge how he will react. He might keep my secret or tell the entire football team about that slut reporter they met the week before being horribly easy. I would never be able to show my face again from the shame.
"AHHH!" I yelled startling Maurice trying to relieve some pent up frustration. This trivial bullshit was supposed to stop after high school. It hadn't, but I had put stock in hoping it wouldn't follow me out of college. This was just ridiculous. The paparazzi were the worst rumor starters in the entire world. If anything this was high school drama on crack.
I sat down at my kitchen table and lay my face against the cool wood taking deep breaths. My racing heart slowed and I closed my eyes. Who could I call who is entirely removed from the situation and won't ask too many questions? Maurice wound around my legs mewing softly. Who?
A loud motorcycle engine roared by my open window. It even silenced the crowd of voices below for a second. That's it! I sat up right and lifted my cell phone again. I scrolled again and pressed 'send'.
OOOOOOoo
"This is one of the weirdest things someone has ever asked me to do Bella." Jake commented when I opened my door to his knock. He held the CVS bang dangling from his left pointer finger just above my head. From the look on his face you would think it was poisonous.
"At least I didn't ask you to buy tampons or something. But I really can't thank you enough!" I gushed grabbing the bag. Jacob followed me inside to my kitchen.
"You're lucky you didn't. That type of devotion can only be won after hours of intense groveling and possible bondage. So why did you need 'Auburn Paradise' hair dye anyway?" Jacob sprawled out on one of my chairs. His long legs took over my kitchen while his dark eyes roamed around taking in his surroundings.
"I need to look different." I wandered away but spoke louder so he could still hear me. I set the hair dye on my bathroom counter and then returned to the kitchen. Jake had found my secret stash of chocolate and was munching a Baby Ruth bar in the seconds that he was left alone. I scowled at him and he smiled with his mouthful of nugget. "Why are you eating my emergency stash?" He cocked a brow.
"Why aren't you telling me the whole truth?" I pursed my lips. Jacob Black might be more perceptive than I gave him credit for. I could tell him more, but I would be vague for now.
"First stop eating my chocolate." Jake finished the bar but shut the drawer walking back to his previously occupied seat. I made a mental note to change hiding places soon. Maurice jumped into his lap. Jake's fingers scratched under his chin and I could hear the resulting purr. I took a deep breath.
"Well?" Jake shifted as if preparing for a great speech.
"Well, do you remember that mess I got in with the paparazzi a while ago?"
"Yeah with that arrogant Russia guy or something, what about it?" Damn, I was hoping he wouldn't remember the specifics such as why.
"I find myself in a similar situation now. They won't leave me alone and I can't handle all this attention so I have to disguise myself so I can sneak by their watch. Go under cover if you will." I shrugged. It took a second for my message to sink in before Jake burst into laughter.
"Covert Bella?" He sputtered in laughter again at the idea. I put my hands on my hips and tapped my foot impatiently watching his body convulse.
"Are you about done? This is a very serious situation." I tried to force my lips to stay in a firm line but the quivered with the smile I was battling.
"Yeah, I'm sorry it's just," he cleared his throat to disguise a chuckle, "you're rather memorable." His eyes darkened a little. Oh boy. "Not to mention that you draw attention to yourself quite often, it won't take long for them to find you." He had a good point. I flopped into the chair across from him. Did I really want to cut and dye my hair if they would figure out my plot in a day?
I pulled my hair elastic out and inspected my hair. It had always been my iron curtain that I could close in high school. I would just let it fall around my face and the world melted away. It had grown with the years but I loved it. It reached the top of my breasts when it hung straight. Could I really cut my last layer of defense to create another possibly faulty one?
"Bella, you don't have to do this. They won't follow you far if you leave. I'll even walk with you and scare them away if you want." Jacob put a reassuring hand over mine on the table. His skin was hot to the touch and safe. I knew if I asked Jake would beat his chest and threaten camera men, but then where would I be? I would have been caught on camera with two different guys in one day, not to mention we might be sued for assault. I surveyed Jake's face through my curtain of hair.
"I don't think I can cut it." I decided. Not to mention Charlie would definitely notice if my entire appearance changed. "But I think dying it might help. I have some big sweatshirts and stuff I can wear and be inconspicuous if it comes to that." I picked up a stray napkin and started to fold it in halves.
"Do you need help? Emotional support or something?" Jake asked uncertain. He seemed concerned by my actions. "Is there more going on than you're not telling me Bella?" I closed my eyes and rubbed my temples lightly.
I could tell Jacob that I had a hot night with a famous football player. I could tell him that I was completely infatuated with said player. I could tell him that when I pushed that player away I felt a piece of me leave with him. But I wouldn't. That's why I called Jacob. He would let me have my secrets, even if they would be exposed with tomorrow's tabloids.
"I just really…. Don't want to talk about it." I lifted my hands and let them fall again. I had no other answers to give. Jake nodded but didn't press. After a small compatible silence where I proceeded to shred my napkin, Jake chuckled.
"So, can this be a nude hair dying?" His grin was wolfish. I broke out in a smile.
"You are such a pervert." I laughed and stood. Bring on the dye.
OOOOOOOoo
"I don't understand why we can't just walk out together Bella. You look way different they won't even notice." Jake tried to convince me to join him for a late lunch. I shook my head for the millionth time.
"I can't risk it. I have to go down and be inconspicuous; you by nature are very…" I was searching for the right word and gesticulating wildly.
"Conspicuous?" Jake supplied helpfully.
"Exactly." He rolled his eyes.
"Whatever Bella, I guess I'll see you later." He waved half-heartedly and shut my door behind him. A few moments later I heard the front door to the building open and Jacob's voice exclaim, "LEAVE BRITNEY SPEARS ALONE!! SHE'S A MOTHER, AND A SINGER, JUST PLEASE, LEAVE HER ALONE!!" His wails of fake anguish had me clutching my sides as I watched him run away awkwardly. His feet swung out and he stumbled until he rounded the corner as if he was a tear stricken teenage girl. I heard his bike kick to life and he rocketed out of the alley and by the press, all the while presenting them with his middle finger.
I was still grinning as I walked back into the bathroom. Operation 'Dye Bella's Hair' had gone off without a hitch, but clothes were involved much to Jake's chagrin. I was still adjusting to my reflection though. We hadn't done anything to change my face, except when I got conditioner in my eye at one point and Jake felt the need to call poison control. It was only a little red now in comparison to when it first happened. Even if my face was the same, I only saw a stranger in the mirror.
The color I had chosen was auburn, reddish brown, but it was not what I was expecting. The red hue to my hair brought out my complexion nicely. Instead of sickly, I looked milky, soft almost. My brown eyes looked lighter and my lips looked fuller. I didn't know if I liked the change, but I knew it fit my purposes nicely.
I wandered into my closet and pawed thorough my options. I grabbed a Devil rays ball cap and a nondescript shirt. I found a pair of big sunglasses and jeans to finish the look. I brushed my now red hair out so it hung perfectly straight around me like a coat. I pulled on my hat and situated it so a large shadow covered most of my face. I dressed and packed my laptop bag and hooked my glasses on my shirt. This was the big test.
The stairs loomed in front of me. I carefully took each one with care. I didn't need to inadvertently trip myself and go to the ER. I didn't put on my sunglasses until I reached the door. Here goes nothing. I slid them in place, hitched my bag up higher, and opened the door. I pointedly looked down to keep my face in shadow as the first few cameras went off hoping for the element of surprise.
"Oh, it's just a neighbor." A man started clearly disappointed to have wasted two frames on me. I didn't waste time or push my luck. Instead I made my way though and I was off down the street before they recognized me.
My journey to my coffee shop flew by. I was floating on a cloud that my plan had actually worked. I even saw a girl who had gone to college with me. She did not recognize me either. I slid into my customary table and unpacked my bag. My computer booted up as I people watched. It must be a lull since there were very few patrons here right now.
Once my desktop was fully displayed I opened my most recent Word document ready to proof read and immerse myself in work. I hadn't gone one sentence before I remember the subject. I had tried to write about Edward and failed miserably without more information. Just reading his name causes a sharp pain in my chest. My hand was on my cell phone before I knew what I was doing.
My fingers worked furiously typing out messages only to erase them and start again. Nothing was coming out right.
Edward, I'm sorry. Was what I decided on after many tries. I was fighting myself about apologizing via text message. I really wanted to call him and hear his voice. Even better, I wanted to see his face and kiss away my mistake in person, but the coward within would not allow me to call him. One small insistent voice in my mind. It was forever pessimistic and its fear of complete and utter rejection had my heart palpitating and my vision spinning. No, I would text him. If he doesn't respond than I'll have my answer, if he does it will be even clearer.
Send
OOOOOOOoo
I sat at my desk staring off into space. It was Thursday and there was still no reply from Edward. My chest tightened as I thought about him. It was a miracle about our pictures. Edward's face had blocked mine enough that I was dubbed 'Mystery Girl'. They did not know my identity. The paparazzi had left my building as soon as they thought it wasn't me involved. After all, who would be caught in a compromising position with a celebrity twice in a few months time?
"Bella! Are you joining me for lunch?" Alice bounced up to my desk. She had come to my apartment two days ago and said the office wasn't the same without me and Rosalie there. I obligingly offered to return so she wouldn't be as lonely so here we were. It was strange waking up again to catch the bus but I felt the routine of things was helping me cope. Rejection is a bitch, flat out. The only reason I got up in the morning is because it was expected of me.
"Hmm? What?" Her voice pulled me away from and Edward day dream. She rolled her eyes at my distraction.
"Lunch?"
"Oh, sure." I stood too quickly and banged my knee on my desk. I crumpled back into my chair and bit my tongue to stop the obscenities lingering on my tongue. I hope I don't get a bruise.
"Really Bella, this is becoming ridiculous." Alice planted her hands on her hips in a 'don't fuck with me' kind of way.
"What are you talking about?" I lightly pressed on my tender flesh wincing slightly.
"You are obviously deeply depressed about something. You have been since the wedding reception. I saw you leaving that coat closet Bella so don't deny it. I thought you just needed a few days to yourself but you just festered in your own misery. Then I thought getting away from your apartment might help, but no you are just a zombie here as well. What happened already?!" She was panting slightly from her rant. Her eyes were livid. "You have become a vapid shell of who you are and I need to know why."
I scowled at her. I thought I had been acting normal. I guess I failed. Not to mention it stung to be called vapid.
"And what is with the red hair? I'm not complaining, it looks good, but why did you dye it? Honestly Bella, I'm dying for details." She was begging now. The people at nearby desks were listening to our conversation now. Great.
"I don't think we should do this here." I carefully stood this time to prevent another mishap.
"But we will do this?" She pressed the issue. She seemed genuinely concerned.
"Eventually." She seemed appeased but her lips pressed into a firm line.
"Fine."