Hey, guys! Sorry about taking so long with this next update. I was working on my other stories, and I also was sort of stuck on what to do for this story. I guess I was having a block. I'm sure some of you are fans of my "Drew Le Pew" one-shots, so here's another one. This one is based on the Looney Tunes comic called "The Painted Pussycat". The site where you can find it (and all of the other comics featuring Pepe Le Pew) is on Dropbox.
Since this website is finicky with links, I tried to put it on, but… Let's just say it didn't work out.
sh / i6wcslpv73yvjgo / wN8ON0JwOs# / Just add www. dropbox .com to this. It's pages 170 to 177. Like I said: this site is picky when it comes to links.
Just a word of advice: The word "l'Epine" is French for "The Thorn" which, considering Drew's trademark is roses, that makes sense.
The Painted Purrloin
It was a beautiful day in Petalburg City in the Hoenn region. The sky was blue, the sun was shinning, and everything was as peaceful as possible. There was nothing that could be done to disturb the peace or the happiness in the city.
Except for one thing, or rather, two.
There was a silhouette of a boy in his adolescent years hiding around one of the corners of the building. There were green fumes floating around him, but he either did not mind or did not notice.
There was a Pokémon next to him; a silhouette of a Roserade. Roserade itself noticed the smell, but it pretended not to notice the stink, albeit Roserade was green in the face; not the natural green skin it had, but a sickly green.
"Hehehe… Well, Roserade, this is going to be the heist of the century," The Roserade's trainer said. "Let's get prepared."
"Rose!" Roserade said, with a smirk in its face.
Meanwhile, down at the police station, there was an older man who was talking with some people that were reporting stolen items or some other crime. He was a rather toned man who seemed to be in his mid-thirties. His hair was a dark blackish-blue color, as were his eyes, and he was in a detective uniform.
"I understand; we'll get right on the case," The detective said, as the clients began out the door. "If anyone can solve this, its me!"
"We trust you, Chief Norman." The clients said, as they left.
"Now to get to work…" Norman said, as he started to work on the case file.
"Another case, dad?" A girl said, as she came into the room. She was a brunette with blue eyes and a red bandanna on her head, and she was wearing casual clothing. The Pokémon she had on her head was a Beautifly.
"Yes, so I'm afraid I'm going to need your help again, May," Norman said, as he sighed in exhaustion. "I just hope nothing extremely high-profile happens or it will be my neck."
"You never know," May said, as she and Beautifly looked out the window. "No one ever knows what might happen."
"You're right, May…" Norman said, as he got back to work.
Meanwhile, at the Petalburg Museum, the curator of the museum was introducing one of the most precious paintings in the museum itself: "Beautifly On The Wind"
One of the patrons of the museum was asking about the painting; he was an older man with a curly afro and glasses that were a little on the gaudy side, but no one else seemed to mind this one detail.
"This painting… "Beautifly On The Wind"…" The patron said, as he was looking over the painting. "Have there ever been any attempts to steal it in the past?"
"This painting is extremely well-guarded," The curator said, with confidence. "The idea that it could be stolen is very ridiculous. In fact, the idea itself is so ridiculous that even though Pokémon are welcome around here, we require all trainers to keep them in their Poké Balls unless they hate being in the Poké Ball."
"Isn't that rule a bit of an oxymoron?" The patron asked.
"Well, yes…" The curator said. "That's why I've put in a request to change that rule so all of our Pokémon patrons can enjoy the artwork."
At that very moment, on top of the sky light window, the silhouette of the same boy from earlier that morning, and his Roserade, were watching the curator's every move.
"The idea of someone trying to steal it… It's ridiculous!" The curator said.
The curator and the patron started to laugh their heads off, and their eyes were closed.
"Perfect…" The boy said, as he silently opened one of the glass panes of the sky light, for his Pokémon to get into the building. "Roserade, do your thing: knock them out with Sweet Scent!"
"Rose!" Roserade said, with a nod, before leaping down into the building.
Roserade released a pink power with sparkles from the flowers on the ends of its hands, and started to spin around in circles, speeding the scent around the area.
"Hahahahahahahah!" The patron and curator said, but as soon as they caught a whiff of the Sweet Scent, they fainted for a second; spirals were in their eyes.
"Perfect, Roserade!" The silhouette of the thief said, as he slipped on a glove, and he aimed it at the painting. The glove shot vine-like wires from the palm, and the wires snagged the painting while the curator and patron were out cold.
"Haha!" The boy said, as the painting rose up through the window. "Roserade, let's clear out!"
Roserade was grabbed by one of the vines and it was brought up out of the skylight window.
Left behind in the place of the stolen painting was a red rose, thorns and all.
As the curator and patron woke up, they noticed the rose in the place of the painting, and the curator shouted, "WHAT?!"
"How is this possible?! How could the painting have been stolen?!" The curator shouted, as he started to sob. "Who could have done this stupid crime?!"
"Who?" The boy said, and soon, the shadow left the face of the boy to reveal a rather handsome teen boy with emerald green hair and matching green eyes. He was wearing a rather typical burglar's costume, but in bright green. "Why, none other than that debonair, irresistible, international art thief - ME!"
Back at the police headquarters, May and her Beautifly were looking at magazines for Contests, which was what she wanted to do for her career, as far as Pokémon went.
"Chief Norman!" The curator of the museum shouted, as he barged into the office.
This caused May to jump in fright, and Beautifly flew around in surprise; May also dropped her magazine.
"Oh, curator," Norman said, as he looked up from the desk. "How may I help you?"
"My prized painting, "Beautifly On The Wind" was stolen!" The curator shouted.
"WHAT?!" May shouted. "Beautifly and I loved looking at that painting! And now its gone?! How is this possible?"
"It was stolen, yes, but this red rose was left behind in its place!" The curator said, as he brought the rose, in a plastic bag, to Norman.
"Wow!" May said, as she looked at the rose. "How pretty!"
"I'm bringing in my best detectives! Just wait for me at the museum, curator." Norman said, as he took the rose into his hand; he looked at the rose with a serious look in his eyes.
Later, the detectives had all arrived for an emergency meeting regarding the theft of the painting.
"Alright. Long story short, the painting "Beautifly On The Wind" was stolen from the Petalburg City two hours ago! I need a volunteer to take the case!"
"I'll do it!" "No, leave it to me!" "I'm a Colonel, Chief, so I should be the one to do this." "No! Let me do it!"
"Excellent; all of you can work together on this case," Norman said, as he presented the rose from the scene of the crime. "So far, this is the only clue we have of the crime. This rose; it's the trademark of the famed thief, "l'Epine"."
"l'Epine?!" The detectives shouted, in fright.
"No way! That's a Shellos of a different color!" "Not a chance! I'm leaving!" "Not l'Epine!"
The detectives all fled out the door in fright, and Norman just sighed, slapped his face, and muttered, "Just a bunch of cowardly Meowth…"
"Now, dad, I'm sure there's a legitimate reason for them chickening out. If this "l'Epine" character is so dangerous or something, I'm sure they'd be scared." May said.
"May, it's not that he's dangerous," Norman said. "In fact, anyone getting hurt due to his actions is never reported; minus some stolen art, he's never hurt anyone."
"If that's the case, then maybe there's something about this guy that's so scary or so intimidating that no one could get close to him. If we can find that trait's weak point and exploit it, there might be a chance he could be caught." May suggested.
Norman looked up; a light bulb appeared over his head, and he looked over at May, with a very strange look on his face.
"Dad… What are you thinking?!" May said, not liking where this situation was going.
"May… Dear…" Norman said.
"Dad, you never call me 'dear' unless you need me to do something…" May said, as she sort of knew what was about to happen.
Later at the museum...
"Chief Norman, I am so glad you could make it! You said your best detective is here?" The curator said, as he and Norman shook hands.
"Yes, she is," Norman said. "She's worked with me on many a case, and she has done a few solo cases and has always caught the crook! Today won't be any exception!"
May was behind the door, adjusting her trench coat, which was red, and shaped her figure and her Beautifly was on her head. May looked a little nervous, and Beautifly could sense this.
"Oh, that's good, good, good! I'm sure she'll have the painting back in no time." The curator said, as he was clapping.
Norman went to the door, and he soon opened it, but not before saying, "I present my daughter, Commander May!"
May was soon standing in the threshold of the door, with confidence on her face.
"Your… daughter?" The curator said. "And you say she's worked on cases with you in the past?"
"It's no lie, curator," May said, vouching for her father. "I have helped my dad out quite a few times; I even went solo when my dad was busy and caught the crook."
May and Norman were in fact, telling the truth. Ever since May was little, she was always helping her father out in the office, and even solved a few cases on her own when she was only a little girl. Norman saw the potential detective in his daughter, so she had since been a regular at the office.
"There have been rumors that this so called "l'Epine" is merely a teenager from what reports have told. So, what better person to lure out the crook than a beautiful female peer?" Norman said.
"I see…" The curator said, still skeptical.
"It's all the more better to catch l'Epine using this method," Norman said. "May, I leave it to you and Beautifly."
"On it, dad!" May said, before leaving out the door.
Meanwhile, outside, l'Epine was looking through binoculars at the museum, and he was still emitting fumes from his body. He was in the manhole of a sewer as his hiding spot.
"Hehehe… Tsk tsk tsk. They'll never learn, will they, Roserade?" l'Epine said, as he was looking through the binoculars. "We fight the law, and we always win these fights! They'll never catch the two of us!"
"Roserade!" Roserade said, from underneath its trainer.
"For I, Drew Hayden, alias "l'Epine" am just too slick for them! Too wicked, too clever…"
Drew was about to continue with his bragging, when in the binoculars, he saw May and Beautifly, with detective gear, walking out the museum doors.
Drew took the binoculars down, blinked a few times with a look of shock on his face, and then he looked through the binoculars again. Upon closer examination of May, he saw that she was beautiful, and his age. He could just see the sparkle of determination and passion in her eyes, and the sunlight made her hair shine. Beautifly was also quite gorgeous, too. Immediately after seeing her, Drew instantly fell in love with May.
"Too… Too… Oh, wow…" Drew said, but he soon grew a lovesick smile on his face, his knees grew weak, and he slid down back into the sewer. "She's… Too much… Sigh..."
Roserade was looking at Drew with confusion on its face, not sure what had gotten into her trainer.
"Say, Roserade… I've got this… Sudden urge to go straight." Drew said, as he went back to spying on the museum, but he was more interested in May.
"Rade?! Roserade rose rose?!" Roserade shouted, very confused about her trainer's behavior.
"Look at that beautiful detective girl," Drew said, handing Roserade the binoculars for it to look through; Drew was pointing at May. "I want to go straight… Into her arms, that is."
"Rose?!" Roserade said, very confused about her trainer's sudden "crush".
"Come on! I think I can pull one last heist… The heist of her heart!" Drew said, before going back down into the sewer to make a plan.a
Roserade was still confused, but it just decided to go with its trainer's plans.
"Alright, Beautifly, let's go! We'll start by going up to the rooftop, because the report said that l'Epine's Roserade dropped into the building from the skylight above the room where the painting was and used Sweet Scent to knock out the patron and the curator." May explained, as she was running to the fire escape to go and investigate the roof; Beautifly was flying behind her trainer.
However, May stopped in her tracks when she saw footprints leading somewhere.
"That's strange…" May said, tapping her face in confusion. "l'Epine, according to other crime reports on him, never retreats out in the open…"
Beautifly merely made a few noises and it then landed on May's head. May smiled, and nodded, before saying, "You're right, Beautifly; always expect the unexpected!"
May kept going, and she soon noticed something strange about the footprints.
"Something's strange…" May said, as she examined the footprints. "These prints are fresh… Like they were only planted here a few seconds ago…"
May wiped the prints and she noticed that the prints were paint, so she knew she had been tricked.
"It's almost as if the guy wants me to catch him…" May said, as she stood up and started to turn back, thinking it was too suspicious.
She soon saw signs that were a literal pointer to the crook.
"Let's be cautious, Beautifly." May said, as she started to walk and follow the signs. She had a hunch that something that definitely wrong.
May soon found herself face-to-face with a sign that literally said, "Jackpot"
"Jack… Pot?" May asked aloud.
"Hello, baby," Drew said, as he came out from behind the sign; he looked at May with romantic eyes, and startled her. "Ah, your beautiful long eyelashes of the law… Those beautiful, long, slender arms. Ooh la la…"
"Aha! So you're being so careless as to reveal yourself to me in the open like this, aren't you, l'Epine?" May said, as she smiled with confidence and pride. "I've got you, now!"
May made a lunge for Drew to arrest him, but Drew merely caught May in his arms, before dipping her down low, and he said, "I surrender… To your beauty and your charm!"
May blushed hard and she felt her heart beat a little faster, but she got serious again, and she said, "Okay, l'Epine, you're… Y-You're…"
May started to sniff the air, realizing something: Drew stunk.
'Oh, PE-EW! No wonder no one has been able to catch this guy…' May thought, as she realized the stench Drew had.
"l'Epine, you… You're under…" May began, but...
"Quiet, mon amor…" Drew said, as he started to stroke May's hair while holding her tightly in his arms. "We have the right to remain silent. The only thing to keep us alert is the beating of our…"
May dashed out of Drew's arms, repulsed by his odor; Drew, confused, cocked an eyebrow, and said, "…Hearts?"
Drew chuckled a little bit before chasing after May, and he said, "I guess I forgot: women love the thrill of the chase."
May was running as fast as she could to get away from Drew and his stench.
"Beau?" Beautifly said, curious as to why May was running off; the crook they were trying to catch willingly showed himself, so Beautifly was confused as to why May passed up the opportunity to nab him.
"Man, Beautifly! This guy is uncatchable, and now I know why: he stinks, and I mean literally!" May said, while coughing.
A few feet ahead, Drew had found his way back underground; he had opened up a manhole cover in front of May; since May was not looking where she was going, she fell into the manhole.
Beautifly flew in after her trainer.
May landed on her back into the sewer, only to look up, and she saw all of the paintings that l'Epine had stolen from around the world. She stood up, and she examined all of the paintings.
"This must be the place where l'Epine hides all of the stolen art. This is great!" May said, as she smiled, and she and Beauty started to get all of the paintings down from the walls so they could return them to the police headquarters.
However, she gagged when she started to smell Drew again, and she covered her mouth to try to avoid retching.
"I see you've found my hideout," Drew said, with a chuckle; he was right behind May. "I guess it could use a girl's touch."
"Alright, l'Epine, you're under…" May began, but she found herself in Drew's arms again, being leaned on one of his legs.
"I'm under your spell, cherie." Drew said, and then he began kissed May's cheek over and over again.
"Beautifly, use Aerial Ace!" May shouted, before gagging.
Beautifly flew into the air a little bit, did a flip, and started to fly straight at Drew. White streaks surrounded Beautifly, and then she slammed into Drew, causing him to be knocked back into the wall.
May gathered up the paintings and she zoomed out of the sewer to return the paintings to the police headquarters.
"Well… Looks like the game isn't over. I'd say I've been framed, but why waste my voice on a joke?" Drew said, as he chuckled.
"Beautifly… I just thought: if that guy is so infatuated with me, let's use that to our advantage!" May whispered to Beautifly; Beautifly nodded in agreement, as they learned from experience that sometimes the best way to catch a crook is to play along with their little act and then snag them at the moment they least expect it.
May and Beautifly stopped near a mailbox, and then May gave Beautifly the paintings to carry with her string shot, and she said, "Bring these back to dad, and I'll get l'Epine."
Beautifly nodded; she wrapped the paintings in the String Shot and then she flew off.
"Good luck!" May said.
"My love," Drew said, as he came out of the mailbox. "I guess the heart can't be fooled; my disguise was so clever, but you weren't fooled, eh, my love?"
Smelling his odor again, May thought, 'Okay, forget stringing this guy along! I gotta get out of here and find a way to catch him!'
"I'm a boy, you're a girl…" Drew said, as he leaned forward for a kiss.
May slammed the mailbox shut and took off again.
Drew, still inside, said, "Well, I guess that she's shipped herself somewhere with a more romantic ambiance."
May kept dashing, but then she had and idea; she said aloud, "I'll just treat this like a cat-and-mouse game and then lead him straight into the cruiser!"
May found herself lending on a tower, out of breath, but then she looked up, and she recoiled when she saw that Drew was standing on top of the tower, stating, "Looks ilk you've gotten me surrounded; I can't escape."
Drew was about to jump off and dive, and he said, "I'll come without a fight! You can catch me now!"
Drew jumped off, and then he was about to land on May; she took the opportunity to run, and as she made a run for it, Drew fell onto the pavement, making a dent into it.
"She missed…" Drew said, but then he got up and tried to give chase.
'Okay, May, you can do this! You can do this! Just keep running, and he'll follow you!' May said, albeit she was also very scared of the stink.
"Oh, Commander! I'm ready to obey your command!" Drew said, as he kept running after May in a leisurely fashion.
May soon found herself alone; she was near a trash can that was empty, and she felt relieved she was finally away from Drew.
"Oh, phew…" May said, as she leaned on the can; she felt relieved and she was ready to catch her breath.
Beautifly landed on her head, and the paintings were not with Beautifly, either.
"Great work, Beautifly!" May said, as she gave Beautifly some of her Pokéblock. "Now to catch that thief!"
Out of nowhere, the can opened up and Drew came out, holding onto "Beautifly On The Wind" and looking at May with romantic eyes.
"There you are, my love," Drew said, as he presented the painting. "I'm turning myself in; so, how about a reward, eh?"
Drew puckered up and leaned in closer to May; May tried to hold her breath and avoid the smell, but she soon had an idea.
May grew a sultry face, and she said, "Normally, crooks don't get rewards for such things… But if you get out of that can, maybe, just maybe… I could give you something for wising up."
Drew took the bait, and he got out of the can; May took the painting out of Drew's hands, and used her hands to have her Beautifly fly behind Drew.
"So, my… Reward…" Drew said, as he approached May, wanting a kiss.
May made a 'come here' motion with her finger; although her eyes were directed at Drew, she was motioning for Beautifly to get her String Shot attack ready.
May gripped Drew's shirt, and pulled him closer; she tried her best to keep her stomach from emptying itself out, as Drew's body odor was much stronger up close.
Drew, in a state of bliss from the idea of finally getting the girl, puckered up once again and put his hands behind his back, finally happy.
May took a deep breath, and she kissed Drew on the lips, and used her hands to have Beautifly tie Drew's wrists with String Shot. Beautifly shot threads from her long nose and tied Drew's wrists up.
May broke the kiss, and she said, "Gotcha. Nice work, Beautifly!"
Beautifly landed on her trainer's head, and May said, "Alright, l'Epine, you're under arrest!"
"You've arrested my heart…" Drew said, with a smile, but he noticed his wrists were tied up. "Wa-Wait a minute?! What is this?!"
"Like I said: you're under arrest!" May said, as patrol cars came up and Drew saw he was surrounded.
"Alright, l'Epine, you're under arrest!" Chief Norman said, as he took Drew into the cruiser, but then he smiled at May. "Commander May, great job."
"Thanks, dad." May said, as she smirked at Drew.
"D-Dad?!" Drew shouted, as he was shut into the cruiser. "But my love, why?!"
"I'm Commander of the Petalburg Police," May said. "What did you expect? That I would fall in love with you?"
"I thought you were in love with me!" Drew said, as tears were starting to spill from his eyes.
"Correction," Norman said. "May, you were Commander."
"Dad, what do you mean?" May asked.
"For your success on this case, I'm promoting you to Assistant Chief!" Norman said, as he rubbed his daughter's head in pride.
The cruiser carrying Drew left.
"You did it, May," Norman said, proud of his daughter. "How did you manage to catch him?"
"Believe it or not, he's delusional," May said. "He thought that he and I were in love, and I used that to my advantage, because I knew why everyone was so scared of him."
"What's the reason?" Norman asked.
"He stinks; literally." May said, before waving her hand in front of her face.
A Few Days Later...
May was walking down a dirt road, with her Beautifly on her head. She felt really happy and at peace. Around three days after l'Epine was arrested, May had told her father that she wanted to go into Pokémon Contests, and with his permission, started her own journey to become top Coordinator.
"Isn't this great, Beautifly?" May asked, as she was talking to Beautifly.
"Beau!" Beautifly said, smiling.
However, May soon felt arms wrap around her, and she stopped in her tracks.
"Hey, what the… *sniff sniff* Oh, no…" May said, as she soon recognized the stench that suddenly filled her nose.
"My love!" Drew said, out of nowhere, and turned May around to face him before kissing her on the lips.
May gagged a little bit, but she backed up, and shouted, "What are you doing here?! Didn't I arrest you?!"
"I broke out," Drew said, as he approached May. "I wanted to see you again, and stay by your side forever!"
May went green in the face from the stink, and she shouted, "That's going to put you in prison for even longer!"
"Oh, I'll be in prison all right," Drew said, as he kept approaching. "The prison of love that is."
May flew off in a big panic, and she shouted, "HELP!"
"Ah… l'amour…" Drew said, as he started to take off after May, the one he loved so much.
"Oh, boy… If only one of my Pokémon knew Teleport…" May complained, as she ran down over the hill, trying to get away from Drew.
And that's a wrap! You'll have to read the actual comic to see what really happened in the comic. So, there are going to be some obvious differences for this shot. If you want any more "malodorous l'amour" between Drew and May, let me know!