YAY WIRELESS INTERNET IN THE AIR PORT! Anyways! So while I was gone and had no internet for a week, I wrote some stuff out of boredom! So yay for you! Enjoy!

"I'm so fucking tired I could just die." Tifa whispered loudly as they all walked into the house. Namine nodded lightly as Cloud patted her shoulder for what seemed the millionth time that night. "Do you guys wanna share Zex's room and I'll take the living room? I mean since you guys weren't actually planning on staying the night." Tifa said to the two blondes behind her but they shook their heads.

"The living room is fine. Thank you." Cloud said with a small nod as Namine walked to a sofa and practically collapsed. He walked to the recliner and propped up the foot stool.

"Ok. Night guys." Tifa said and hugged her two brothers before she walked up the stairs.

"Night Tif." Demyx whispered. He turned to wave good night to his cousins as Zexion nodded at Cloud who was the only one of the two actually still awake. The two brothers slowly paced up the stairs and towards Demyx's room. The blonde held the door open as the slate haired boy came through only to slowly and quietly close it as Zex walked over and sat on the edge of the bed. Demyx looked at the boy he loved and smiled coyly, not knowing exactly what to say.

"Dem..." His brother started for him and he let out a deep breath before sitting down at his desk. "That was ridiculously close tonight." Zexion sighed as he raised his hand to his forehead and laid back onto a pillow.

"Yea I know that." He replied as he held his stomach, trying to push down the thoughts of how horribly close this came to being revealed.

"We can't...take chances like that." Zexion stared up at the ceiling, feeling his heart trying to claw it's way out of his chest. His whole body was burning.

"What do you mean?" Demyx asked with wide eyes. He prayed this wasn't going where he thought it was.

"Demyx do you realize how risky this is? Do you realize what would happen if anyone found out? We've avoided it until now, we've just ignored it. But the fact is there's something wrong. We are not supposed to feel this way."

"Zex..."

"And we can't do this anymore."

"Zexion!" Demyx jumped from his chair and hovered above his brother. "Why are you saying all this?!"

"Demyx people are sleeping. You have to calm down."

"No! No! Stop saying stupid things then!"

"Demyx please." The blonde leaned his hands down onto the bed, his face only inches away from his brother's. "This can't keep going." Zexion ignored the tears in Demyx's eyes despite how they made him feel horrible. Dem leaned further and pushed his lips against his brother's. It took all of Zexion's strength to not reach his hands up and pull him closer. Instead, he turned his head away, breaking the kiss. Demyx pulled away with a sob, quickly wiping his mouth and then his eyes.

"Zexion. I love you. Please stop." He said, trying to hold back full blown wails of heart break.

"Demyx I need you to understand." Zexion mumbled as he sat up, still resisting the urge to pull the crying boy onto him, to comfort him, to make the hurt go away. But he couldn't do that if he was the reason for the pain. He couldn't do it this time. "The way we feel...it's not supposed to be like this."

"No no no. This is the way it's supposed to be! You're supposed to fall in love! People were meant to be together and happy like we are!" Demyx said with a sad smile and tears as he ran his hands over his lover's face. Zexion merely turned his head again, staring blankly at the wall as he desperately tried to block the sounds of Demyx's weeping.

"No. We're brothers. This is not normal."

"Zexion please. Please." Demyx begged with body shaking sobs. "We can do anything you want. We want. We can leave tomorrow. Or tonight. We can leave! No one will know! Ever!" Zexion squeezed his eyes shut as he held back his own tears. He turned to look at his brother and stood up.

"Demyx I love you but this isn't ok." Zexion finally allowed himself to look into Demyx's eyes. His heart shattered. "There's something wrong with us and I can't do it anymore." He laid his hand gently on the broken face of his brother. Demyx's frail hand reached up and quickly interlocked their fingers, not willing to let go for anything.

"Zexion no. No no no no. I love you please please don't do this. I don't care about anyone else. I only want you! I love you! And you love me! How can you say it doesn't matter!"

"I didn't say it doesn't matter. But this can't keep going." Zexion pulled his hand away and walked to the door, opening it quietly and walking down to the living room. He could hear Demyx's heavy breathing, muffled cries, his pleas.

"Zexion? Where are you going? It's three in the morning." Cloud asked groggily as he sat up and watched his cousin walk to the door.

"Coffee." Zexion said quickly as he left, not waiting for a response. He tore down the street and towards the coffee shop he knew was closed. Everything was closed in this town by nine. The empty parking lot was solitude. The empty parking lot was peace. It was where he needed to be where he knew no one would see him. And then it came out. Zexion screamed at the top of his lungs, slammed his hands down on the steering wheel, didn't bother wiping away the tears that were now freely flowing. He looked at himself in the rear view mirror. Red eyes, pale, soaked face. "What the fuck is wrong with you?!" He screamed at himself. "Why can't you be fucking normal?!" He took deep breaths, one after the other, hoping he would die, hoping he could just pass out and forget everything. And then when he woke up, he'd be normal. He wouldn't be in love with his brother, he wouldn't be such a fuck up. He looked at himself in the mirror again and smiled lightly. And the smile turned into a chuckle. And the chuckle turned into side splitting laugh. "You had everything you fucking moron. You had everything you wanted and you just let it go." He managed to choke out through laughing and still crying. He was about to throw up, his heart was going to implode, his whole face was about to burn off, his lungs were going to deflate. He was falling apart. Finally, the laughing died. The crying stopped. All he could do was look at himself again in the mirror. "There's something wrong with me." He said with a sigh as he released the seat, sending him flying backwards. He rubbed his eyes and took a deep breath. "It's better this way. He'll be happier." Zexion tried to assure himself that he was right. He was always right. But for once, he felt like maybe he actually wasn't.

~0~

Demyx sat on the edge of his bed, his knees clicked together, back and forth, he didn't blink or barely breathe. Just waited for the door to open. Just waited for Zexion to come back. He couldn't even cry anymore. He felt like if he cried anymore he would die. He knew this couldn't actually be happening. Zexion loved him. And he loved Zexion. So this wasn't true. He saw light from the corner of his eye. The sun was coming up. The pinkish orange light was flooding into his room and when he usually would've taken enjoyment from the beauty of the lighting and the fact that it was making everything in his room more beautiful, all he could do now was sit and wait. It must've been six. At least six. That's when the sun came up. He could hear his aunt getting up in the family room. Why did their family need a family room and a living room? He was trying to fill his mind with unimportant questions. Questions other than why did Zexion leave? Why didn't Zexion love him anymore? Why couldn't they just be together? Why did the world have to make them feel so horrible about the fact that they loved each other? Demyx sat for another hour before he heard the front door open. He ran to the stairs and lingered there, watching Zexion walk into the living room. The mass of dark hair aimed up and their eyes immediately locked. Both pairs of red, sleepless, tired, weepy eyes.

"Zexion? Jesus where've you been? You look like shit." Cloud asked and Zexion looked away from his brother at the top of the stairs to now glare at his cousin.

"Thanks." He murmured as he made his way towards his room. He passed Demyx at the top without a word, a simple glance exchanged between them. He opened his door and spotted his sister lying on his bed. He groaned and picked up a book off his desk and chucked it at her.

"OUCH! What the fuck Zexion?!" Tifa yelled and bolted up.

"Get. Out." She looked up with a frown but once she saw him, she slid off the bed and walked towards him.

"Are you ok?" She asked and laid a hand on his shoulder only to have it drop to her side as he walked to his bed and collapsed. "Zex?" It was too late. He was face down on his pillow, already passed out. "What's wrong with him?" She asked Demyx as she left the room but the blonde only glared at her.

"I don't fucking know!" He yelled, stomped to his room and slammed the door. Tifa looked between her brother's rooms with wide eyes and then down the stairs where her two blonde cousins looked up just as confused.

"Do you know what's wrong with them?" She asked but Cloud and Namine both shrugged.

Please...don't hurt me... *cute smiles as I back away slowly*