This is a double 221B (442 words), a birthday gift to Kaizoku Shojo. Happy Birthday, Kai, and many of them. :D
Phhhzzzzzt!
"Alfie, stop that!" I said in exasperation, yanking the noisemaker out of the lad's little hands with a warning look.
Two green eyes met mine with a puppy-like glance, pleading with me.
"No. Wiggins, stay out of that cake!"
The ragged lieutenant skipped guiltily away from the table, and I ran a hand tiredly through my hair with a sigh.
"Why the devil did I let you boys talk me into doing this?"
"'Cause yer a reg'lar brick, tha's wot yew are, Doctor," Wiggins said, peeking out the window watchfully.
"As dense as one too sometimes," I said wearily, pulling Alfie down off the back of Holmes's armchair as he teetered, trying to reach a stray balloon.
The lad looked pleadingly at me and jumped for the string, which still dangled just out of his reach. I pulled it down with a sigh, handing it to him.
"D'yew think ee'll be 'appy, Doctor?"
"That depends on whether that trial brought in the verdict he was hoping for, Alfie," I said absently, shooing another of the urchins away from the punch.
"Blimey! Scarper, lads, 'e's 'ere!" Wiggins shrilled from the window.
I nearly laughed but I was too tired to do so, as the half-dozen ragtag boys suddenly disappeared behind various articles of furniture. Holmes's strident voice was in evidence on the stairs and then the hall, bellowing in an apparently good temper at Mrs. Hudson.
Suddenly I heard a loud noise behind me, and I turned in time to see the entire fold of drapes come crashing down on me amid a very frightened squeal from Alfie, who had been hiding therein.
As I was trying to disentangle myself, I heard the door open and Holmes's footsteps stopped. I jerked my head free of the fabric, glaring at the Irregular, who was snickering sheepishly. Holmes stared at us and the other lads who were peeping out from behind the chairs and then nearly fell over, so hard was he laughing.
"I'm going to kill you, Alfie," I hissed.
"Meh, yew know yew won', Doctor," he returned cheerfully.
"Try me!"
"Watson, c-calm down," Holmes gasped, wiping his eyes and coming over to give me a hand up out of the fallen drapes.
"I claim absolutely no responsibility for this…mess," I said breathlessly as he hauled me to my feet.
Alfie launched himself from the drapes finally, heading for the cake and followed by a bunch of whooping Irregulars. I glanced wearily at Holmes, who was still trying desperately to stop laughing. He clapped me on the shoulder and grinned fondly.
"My dear Watson, I must thank you for a most entertaining birthday."