a/n: Hi guys! So I'm back! And I was in desperate need to write this chap because I had to get it out the way so I can start on the next and won't fall behind again :/ but enough about me how are you? The story? Your thoughts? Well, let's get to it!

It hurts me to see her in pain, to see her try to be happy but every time something gets in her damn way. It's hard to look at the one you love and see nothing but hurt and anguish in their eyes.

"How could you hide something like this from me?"

Shepard tried to talk but the lump in her throat was too thick, she could feel tears she couldn't control roll down her cheek and jaw freely. She held out her arms from Miranda walk into them but she never came.

Miranda back away from her slowly, "Did you even think for one second that maybe MY GIRLFRIEND would like to know something so bloody important about her own life?"

Shepard swallowed harshly, her throat in pain, "Miri. I didn't want to tell you because I knew if you knew you would do this." The thrumming of shepard's heart pumped through her ears so loudly she couldn't hear herself talk.

"No. Shepard. I wouldn't. I'm doing this because everyday you lied to me without a sliver of care. I just can't believe you, jack and my father might have hurt me but this is the worst thing someone's ever done. Someone I care so deeply about lied to me." Miranda's voiced cracked on the last sentence, she whipped away from the blonde when her eyes began to sting. "Someone I wanted to spend the rest of my life with…shattered my heart."

Shepard could feel her blood boil and her face heat up with anger. "Don't talk to me like I don't give a damn about you Miranda!" Shepard took a step forward. "Baby you know I would go across the galaxy and back for you! Miranda I am in love with you. I can't live without you. If you're not in my life I'd rather be dead, shit! Miranda I have problems of my own too!"

Miranda snapped around, "You have no god damn right!" She pointed her finger into shepard's chest,"You haven't felt my pain! You cause your own problems Skylar mine come to me with even the littlest warning! How the hell do you think I feel right now!"

Shepard clenched her fist, "We both had shitty childhoods! My father almost killed my mum! And god only knows what he was gonna do to me! I don't want us to be like that Miranda! I can relive the pass except this time I'm the monster Miri…" Shepard struggled with her words as her face softened, "I…I just can't. I won't give up on us."

Miranda lowered herself onto the couch,"I can't just forgive you. Or Oriana. I love you too and i would be lying if I said I didn't."

"It's so hard to see you like this Miranda." Shepard whispered. "I can't help but feel like you're wishing you never met me. And if I'm causing the pain then I wish you'd never met a screw up like me."

Miranda peered up at Shepard to take her hand, she pulled Shepard down beside her. "This whole thing isn't your fault." Miranda laid her head on the blondes shoulder.

"The doctors don't know what they're talking about Miranda." Shepard began. "You're going to survive this, I can promise you that. Cross my heart." Shepard said taking her finger and making and x over her chest.

Miranda took shepard by the hand and avoided all eye contact. "Skylar, listen, if ever given the opportunity…leave…go! What I mean is-is go to England, go to the military…you will have a better life and be away from-"

"You." Shepard chimed. Miranda looked hurt but Shepard took her chin and lifted her head to meet her gaze. "But thing is I don't want to be away from you Miri! Jesus! I love you! Don't you get that?"

Miranda shook her head, "Don't you get it? I'm not going make it out of this, I don't want to bring you down with me."

"I won't just leave you Miranda. I can't…I can't stop loving you, without you what's the point? I've found my future and that's with you and I refuse to live it if you aren't there. I've loved you since the first time are hands touched and I haven't been able to stop yet." Shepard wiped away Miranda's tears, "I can't wait for the nights when we snuggle together on the couch and I can hold you tight. Don't tell me you're going to give up now when we are so close Miri."

Miranda tore herself away. "No! I can't bare to see you like this Skylar! And it's my fault!" Miranda rushed to the door and swung it open but it was slammed shut by a much more stronger force from behind.

"Look me in the eyes Miranda and tell me what you just said again and then…" Shepard clenched her eyes and gritted her teeth, "Then…then you can leave and never look back. If that's what you really want."

Miranda turned to face The blonde, her eyes trained on shepard's sullen-gray eyes that were bloodshot with black rimming around them, her lip quivering and tears falling after another. "Goodbye Shepard." Miranda left with that closing the door behind her slowly.

Shepard blinked. She was paralyzed, her heart was breaking slowly at the thought of those blue eyes leaving her life forever. She fell to her knees, her heart began to race rapidly, she couldn't control her breathing, she feel over, her eyes going wider than ever before. Her vision began fading as her eyes darted back and forth, before the darkness took over, her eyes landed on Miranda's promise ring.

Her last thought came back to Miranda and how beautiful her smile was, then she thought about the heartbreak and lastly how happy she was to be dying.

The beeping was gone. Miranda peered through the hospital door, she thought she would never come back this godforsaken room, but something told her it was time for a visit.

"Lawson? What the hell did you come her for? Come to give me another lecture on how you've moved on? Or get your new bitch to smash my brains in?" Jack sneered.

Miranda looked down at her feet before speaking. Jack looked better than last time she saw her, some of the bruises and scars were healed, no doubt she probably was still hurting internally or at least a little sore for that matter. She had a cast on her left leg and both her arms, she also had a bandage wrapped firmly around her head.

Dear god…Skylar could've killed her. As if that wasn't her intention.

"Jack. I didn't come here to fight-"

"Well that's fucking obvious." Jack rolled her eyes. "So why did you come? Should I be on the look out for your deranged girlfriend."

Miranda actually felt a pang of sympathy and sorrow when she heard jack talk about Shepard. "Jack. Please. I need your help, Skylar and I…more Skylar is having issues-"

Jack snorted. "Who didn't see that coming? Well? What am I suppose to do? I'm not a fucking councilor."

"Well, you know Skylar better than I do so I thought you could tell me why she's acting like-"

"Stop. Miranda, listen to me…" jacks voice became soft along with her chocolate eyes. "Shepard is by far the best person I've ever met. Don't let her go…she's insane yeah, but hell I'd be lying if I told you I didn't have the best times of my life with that stupid motherfucker." Jack laughed, "You don't know what you have until it's gone cheerleader."

Miranda scanned jacks face for some sort of hint to a joke, a punch line, sarcasm, anything. But she found nothing.

Miranda had a choice to make. Sacrifice her happiness by leaving Shepard or drive Shepard insane by being with her.