I know you're all very curious as to what is wrong with Demyx so read on and I think you'll know. I had this uploaded and forgot to explain something! The little ~0~ breaks are only like maybe 15-20 minutes of time that are unimportant. Things get repeated basically and blah blah blah. So yea. Sorry for re-uploading! ^_^'

Demyx wiped his eyes and looked over at his brother. He wasn't sure if he could tell him. He had to but he wasn't sure how. He took a deep breath and refocused his eyes.

"Zexion. You know how much I love you right?"

"Yes I think so. And you know I love you?"

"Of course I do...I just want you to know that I love you more than anything. Anything. But Zex...I just don't see how this could work any longer. We've come so close to getting caught so many times. And I couldn't live with that. I just couldn't." Demyx shook his head softly and gazed down at his lap. Zexion was at a loss for words. This is what he had been feeling a few days ago, exactly, in the same words. He wished he hadn't put it in his lover's head.

"Demyx. How would anyone find out?"

"You told Xion and what if we got caught? Oh god..." Demyx groaned and rested his head between his hands. "What would mom think? And dad? And Tifa? And Cloud and Namine?"

"Who cares Dem?"

"Zex! Why are you not understanding this?"

"No, no. I do. I get it. This is what I was going through before Dem but Demyx...I love you. I don't care anymore. I just want to be with you."

"I don't know if that's enough anymore..."

~0~

"Why did we think this was a good idea Zexion? What made us think this was ok?"

"Demyx. I love you. You love me. How is this bad?"

"We're brothers. You know I don't think we've ever said it out loud before but that's what it is. We're brothers." He couldn't say anything else. Neither of them could. "Zexion. I do really really love you but we both know how...weird this is."

"Since when do you care what people think?"

"This is different Zexion! This is us being together! Not what I'm wearing or something!"

"You didn't care when you were with Axel."

"Do not bring him up. Ok? Axel isn't my brother. He's a jerk but I'm not related to him." Zexion unintentionally frowned at Demyx's words and Demyx saw it. He felt bad. He didn't want to make his brother feel bad. He really did love him despite what he was saying. But it needed to be said now or it would never be said. "Zexy..." Dem mumbled and smiled lightly at his lover. "I do love you. I can't stop myself..."

"Don't call me that." He tried to reply in a stern tone but when he turned to look at the blonde coyly smiling at him, his head pressed against the headrest, he couldn't help himself. The corners of his mouth turned up and he looked away. But as soon as he did, Demyx reached over and laid his hand on his thigh.

"I really don't want to make you mad. And I don't want it to be over...but I'm just a little worried I guess."

"There's nothing to be worried about ok?" Zexion shifted his body to face his lover. "We haven't gotten caught and we won't get caught alright?" Demyx only nodded and looked down at his hand as it intertwined with his brother's.

~0~

"Can we just stay here tonight? In the car? I just don't want to go home."

"I have a better idea." Zexion replied as he started the car and turned down the street. Demyx looked at him curiously but stayed silent. He pulled into another parking lot just down the road and turned to look at his brother. "Wanna go in?" The blonde looked in front of them to see a cheap motel and he smiled.

"How?"

"I have dad's credit card."

"Why?"

"They gave me one of them in case of emergencies."

"They never gave me one!"

"Demyx, you just would have gone shopping." Zexion argued with a grin and Demyx smiled sheepishly.

"Well yea. Prolly." He agreed as they got out and headed towards the front door.

~0~

They both laid on the bed, the blonde head laying on the shallow chest of the other boy, slowly rising and falling with each breath. His thin fingers roamed over the now familiar skin, the skin he knew so well and loved more than any other skin.

"Zexion?" He asked and received a hum in response. "I just...I really want you to know that I love you. You do know that right? I just need to know you know."

"I know. And I love you. More than anything."

"Right...I know." Demyx was silent again, not needing to say anything else. He just needed him to know that he loved him, that no matter what, he really was madly in love with him.

"You're sure you know?"

"Of course I do." Demyx said and sat up, throwing his legs over the edge and looking down at the carpet, his jeans crumpled in a pile. He reached his hand forward and touched them, pushed his fingers into the pocket and retrieved what he needed.

"What's that?"

"Nothing..." He mumbled and stood, slowly pacing towards the sink. Zexion watched intensely as Demyx picked up a glass, filled it and turned around to smile at him. He leaned back against the counter and crossed his arms, death gripping the glass, knuckles turning white. "What?"

"What what?"

"You're staring at me."

"I'm trying to figure out what you're doing." Zex explained with narrowed eyes as he sat up in bed, leaning his back against the headboard. Those deep blue eyes just rolled as the frail hand set the glass down back on the counter. Demyx pulled a tiny, orange bottle from behind him and popped the lid. He looked back up and smiled a little as he poured a pill into his palm. "What are those?"

"Pills. What do they look like?" Demyx replied and stuck out his tongue as he picked the glass up again.

"I didn't know you took pills. What are they for?" The blonde cleared his throat awkwardly before sticking the little white tablet on his tongue and taking a sip of water. He walked back to the bed, crossed his legs and smiled drowsily at his brother.

"Do you um remember when Tifa moved out? And we had that whole 'family issue'?"

"When mom and dad made us go to therapy?" Demyx simply nodded as his eyes glazed over and he looked down at the scratchy blanket they were sitting on with nothing but boxers, wondering why the blanket was in fact so scratchy. "Dem."

"They're antidepressants." He said and looked back up finally, meeting the now confused eyes of his brother.

"That all happened when we were...fourteen." Demyx nodded again. "You've been taking antidepressants since you were fourteen?"

"Yea. The psychiatrist told mom I needed them or I wouldn't be able to function in 'normal society'."

"What exactly did you tell the psychiatrist?"

"I told him that I was gay and I missed my sister and I wish our family got along better and how Tifa used to come into my room at night because I cried and how you and I used to practice kissing and how I hated that our parents left us alone all the time and now that Tifa was gone I really didn't have anyone so I wanted to get a boyfriend so I wouldn't be alone anymore and then I started crying in his office and he offered me a tissue and called mom and dad back in. That's all I really remember but I remember I started taking the pills the next week and I felt happier for a while and I started going to parties and that's when I met Axel. But after a while...the pills don't help anymore. They don't do anything. I just take them by force of habit now." Zexion sat in disbelief, wondering how he could have missed his brother being depressed for the past few years, how he could have missed the taking of pills and just everything. Demyx giggled lightly and Zexion was pulled out of his own mind to look at the blonde before him. "Guess you don't know as much about me as you thought."

"I guess...not. I'm sorry Demyx..."

"Why? It's not your fault."

"But I should've known. I should've noticed. Why didn't you ever tell me?"

"I didn't think it was important. It was amazing for you to be in a good mood and I didn't want to ruin it."

"Demyx...I want to know everything. All the time. It doesn't matter ok? I just want you to talk to me." Demyx just nodded as Zexion's hands grabbed his arms and pulled him closer. "Just talk to me."

"What do you want to know?"

~0~

"Demyx?" He hummed against skin, sending the vibrations through Zexion's chest. They had returned to their previous position of laying down on the bed, holding each other, their hands intertwined, skin pressed against skin, lips touching anything they could find. "I love you."

"I know."

"I know you know but I wanted to tell you. Again." Zexion could feel his lover's lips turn up in a smile against his chest.

"I love you too. A lot." He yawned loudly. "I think I'm ready to go to sleep."

"Alright." He sat up and reached into his own jeans, pulling out the car keys. He tugged the jeans on as Demyx turned over, leaning his head onto his fist to watch the other boy with curiosity.

"Where you going?"

"To the car. I gotta get something." He walked out of the room and Demyx sat up and pulled his knees to his chest. The door cracked back open and Zexion smiled softly at the boy on the bed. "My medicine." He said gently as he pulled a plastic bag out of his pocket, filled with milky blue capsules.

"Those don't look prescribed." Demyx smiled smugly as Zex rolled his eyes and sat back down on the bed.

"They're sleeping pills." He explained as he threw two into his mouth and swallowed them dry.

"I didn't know you took sleeping pills." Demyx said with slightly widened eyes, watching his brother's hand reseal the bag and toss it across the room.

"Since I was fifteen." He stood again and unbuttoned his pants.

"There are so many things I never knew." He said and leaned back onto the bed, watching Zex pull his pants back down and kick them aside.

"I guess we didn't really know each other as well as we thought."

"We used to. But we stopped talking...when I started dating..."

"Axel. Yea I know."

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to bring him up again."

"It's fine." Zexion reassured as he pulled Demyx closer to him, laying him against his are chest for seemingly the millionth time that night.

"Why did we stop talking so much?"

"You had a life, I had a life. We didn't need each other the way we did before."

"I've always needed you Zexion. Always. I've never stopped." He angled his head to look up at his brother. "I've always loved you. It's just changed."

"I know."

I think three more chapters? And I dunno if anyone remembers, but I had said I was considering doing a skanky Roxas story or maybe I never actually said it...well anyways! I will be doing a skanky Roxas story. It will be like a sequel to this one but more of a spin off because it's AkuRoku and not Zemyx k? But it's the same characters. Please review! Kthnxbye! =D