I still own zilch - yip life sucks:)

Christine

Things seem to have settled down once again (apart from some strange behaviour from Meg and Madame Giry but I will talk about that later). I can still feel Raoul's gaze burning through me at times and I have to fight the urge to run every time.

The night that I told Erik what had happened with Raoul I cried into his shoulder and I found missing the feeling of his arms around me so much – my back was so sore that I cried in pain whenever he touched me. He had picked me up bridal style after I had started crying and he held me close, carrying me to the bed that I had found myself after my debut. I was so confused and lost that all I could do was cry as I curled up against him, burying my head into his chest as warmth and comfort surrounded me. I did not mean to fall asleep but I did and I could not stop myself from blushing when I woke up and found him smilling down at me.

He escorted me back to the surface and before he left me I reached for him, drawing him down towards me so I could place a kiss on his lips. I did not have to worry any longer about him seeing my bruises so I did not hesitate to wrap one of my arms tightly around his neck – holding him to me while I tried to ignore the pain in my back from the stretching skin. I traced his cheek with my other hand. I trailed my fingers gently down the uncovered half of his face loving the feel of his skin beneath my fingers. I felt his own hands hover at my back and I knew that he did not want to hurt me by holding me close as he normally does. He finally seemed to decide and I felt one of his hands rest on my hip and the other at the small of my back. I sighed against his lips content to be once again held by him.

After I do not know how long he pushed me away gently and smiled at me before I turned and went to bed.

The next day was filled with rehearsals and I once again found myself being grateful that it was not Erik that I had to rehears opposite of – especially in front of the while company – for I am absolutely sure that I would never be able to stop blushing at the seductive, risqué lyrics. I am sure that the whole of Paris will be a bit shocked when we open, Erik's music is very bold indeed. But to get back to the point. It is a bit hard to blush at the meaning of the words and music when singing opposite the Italian baritone whose clothes could probably fit four of my Erik in at the same time. Not to mention that he is married to Carlotta the ultimate she-devil – according to Erik (he was in a really bad mood the day he said that, but I doubt he will ever take it back).

I was also thankful that it was not a dress rehearsal that we were doing for if it was the whole company would have got a glimpse at my back and neck, so I got to keep my shawl gripped tightly around me during our practise.

I think that it was a bit peculiar that I never seemed to be alone. Madame Giry had come to see me in the morning just as I was leaving my room and the look in her eyes screamed at me that she knew something.

She could not know about what Raoul did?

Could she?

No. To know what Raoul had done she would either have had to have seen what happened - and if that was the case she would not have stood and watched for sure. I have learned over the years that my foster mother is not a person to be reckoned with. The only other option I could think of was that Erik had said something to her. But surely if he had said something to her she would have said something to me but she didn't so I just settled for her being in a strange mood.

She patted my back as I left the room and I fought back the tears that sprung to my eyes when she caught my injuries.

She walked with me to the stage when Meg came bounding up to us and then she walked away with a frown on her face and her eyes scanned the cast and the empty auditorium.

Meg chatted away to me with her usual exuberance and I could not help but get carried along with her...that is until she started to let her gaze dart about the stage and seats just like her mother had done earlier.

What was going on?

The rehearsals went smoothly until about lunch time when I saw Meg and her mother whispering to each other their eyes darting to a point in the auditorium that I could not see. Before I knew what happening Madame Giry had announced that it was lunch time and I was being whisked away by Meg down the corridors.

We rushed passed one of the many alcoves and I got the same feeling that I get when with Erik – a warm, safe glow. I know that it sounds as though I am mad but that is what happens. I frowned into the darkness wondering just why I was feeling that way. After all it was midday and I was sure that Erik never comes above ground when there is a chance that he might be seen but I was sure that I saw the white shadow of his ghostly mask just where his head would be.

Meg continued to pull me along the corridor and I had to turn away from where I was sure my angel was watching me. The feeling that I had soon vanished as soon as I was shoved into Carlotta's dressing room closely followed by Meg and then Madame Giry a few moments later who was carrying some food.

The day continued the same way with either Madame Giry or Meg always with me until the time came for my lesson with Erik and then they both seemed to magically vanish.

I went to my lesson deep in thought completely confused over the events of the day but thankful that I had not seen Raoul – which was unusual as it was a regular practise for him to watch the rehearsals, but then he had never tried to strangle me before so my thoughts on that subject ended as soon as they had begun as I assumed that he was ashamed of his actions.

I remember also wondering vaguely whose footsteps I had heard when Meg and I were going to the dressing room. They had sounded as though they were running but they had suddenly stopped...Hmm-maybe they discovered that they had taken a wrong turn or something. It is easy to do especially if one is new to the opera and we do have some new orchestra members due to Erik's instructions to the managers. Some of the musicians had became a bit lax in their duty.

I still did not manage to give Erik the same joyful greeting that I always do – indeed I could hardly raise my arms now that the cuts on my back were healing if I so much as pulled the skin it stung. He seemed to know this though and leaned down to kiss me, I saw him smile before I lost sight of his mouth as it met mine. I put my hands on his chest and gripped the lapels of his immaculate jacket, scrunching the fine material in my hands.

He raised his head and smiled at me. All I could do was return the smile – grinning like an idiot.

"You are very happy today Erik." I commented lightly at the end of the lesson that had only involved singing – no dancing or stage directions – much to my disappointment but I knew that my back would never last through the movements and pressure.

He came up to me after sorting through some music and placed his hands on my hips - just like he had the night before and he looked into my eyes. He had the happy little boy face on that was becoming a regular occurrence over the past couple of months.

He rubbed his nose against my own still smiling.

"How is your back my love?" he asked me seemingly avoiding the subject.

"Sore," I whispered not being able to stop the smile that spread across my own face in response to his.

"It is healing though." I added when his smile began to fade.

"Has the Vicomte approached you since?" he asked me very nearly snarling Raoul's title.

I shook my head.

"I haven't been alone all day." I told him, still feeling a little confused about the continual presence of either my foster mother or best friend.

He took me back to the surface the same as every night and I went to bed still as confused as I had been all day.

Things have continued this way for almost two weeks and during this time my back has healed and my bruises have faded. I have no idea why someone is always with me and whenever I bring up the subject Erik always expertly changes the subject. I am finding it all very peculiar.

And apart from feeling Raoul's gaze on me from a distance I am never close to him or near enough to feel threatened or to exchange words with him. For this I am glad. I can never seem to suppress the slight shiver of fear that runs through my body whenever I see his eyes peering at me. Of course I have not told Erik any of this. After listening to the way he speaks of Raoul I dare not say to him how I feel when in his line of thought.

I am glad that my back is now healed. I never realized how much I missed feeling Erik's arms around me until I could no longer receive his warm and secure embraces.

Rehearsals are nearly complete for Don Juan and we open in three days. I am nervous. I do not want to let Erik down now especially since it is his work. I am also worried about Piangi. He is becoming very short of breath lately despite Madame Giry advising on Erik's behalf that he perhaps tried to lose some weight he seems to be as heavy as always and I fear that the strain in his heart is getting to be to much...

Hey. Hope you like.

Pretty, pretty please let me know what you think.

:-)