AN: I know some of you have been antsy and have asked me when I plan to update this story. The answer will always be, when I finish it. I'm not ignoring the story but I do have a job and a social life and my chapters tend to be 10+ pages in word. Trying to keep up the quality of my writing means I put time and effort into it. I know it's been a month since the last update but this chapter was genuinely hard to write. Thanks to all of you who have waited so patiently for this and for those of you who leave reviews. :) I will be honest and say that when I have multiple stories going on, I definitely give a little more priority to the ones receiving more feedback.
That said, I have three weeks to finish my cosplay and panic has set in. I'll do my best to update again within a month, but you might be waiting until July. Hope you enjoy the chapter.
-
Hesitation
Naruto closed the door softly behind him. He paused, turning and nodding to the guard standing upright next to the door. He caught the rather appraising look, dark eyes dipping to take in his full appearance and Naruto's hand combed through his unruly hair self-consciously.
"Where is the restroom?" he asked and the guard smirked, pointing with one finger down the hall. Naruto nodded his thanks, trying to stand a little taller as he walked to the door a few yards away. He flipped the light switch along the wall and let the door close behind him. He placed his hands on either side of the porcelain sink, leaning over and filling his lungs with as much as air as he could hold. His heart was still racing from minutes ago, and glancing in the mirror his cheeks were still flushed, his mouth rosy from Gaara's brutal kisses.
Naruto released a shuddering gasp. "What the hell am I doing?" he spoke to his mirror image. His reflection frowned at him, remembering Gaara's invitation, understanding what that invitation meant. He shook his head and turned on the water, cupping his hands beneath the cool stream and tossing it into his face. He had been honest when he said he didn't know what came next, but somehow losing his virginity hadn't been the first thing on his list.
But how do I talk to him? Naruto thought to himself. His reflection had no answer.
The guard watched him carefully as he exited the bathroom. Naruto shot him a cheeky grin, and a wink, and with a mocking salute he was down the hall in a flash. His feet took him down to the more bustling part of the tower and he paused when he realized he was headed toward the hospital. Sakura would be on duty, he realized, noticing a familiar sign pointing out the hospital's direction where Sakura was often holed up these days. He forced himself to walk in the opposite direction, certain his guy problems were the last thing she wanted to deal with at the moment. He kicked around, feet scuffling across the floor. He shoved his hands into his pockets and strolled down the clean halls.
Maybe I should talk to someone, Naruto thought. His mind returned to his promised date after dinner and he frowned. He didn't know the first thing about dating and nothing in his porn magazines had ever told him anything about sexual relations with the same sex. He thought of hunting Sakura down and asking her to explain some things but he could feel his face heating up just thinking about it. Could he fumble through it alone? Did he even want to? What if he hurt Gaara, what if it was unsafe? Naruto dragged a hand through his hair in frustration.
What if... what if he didn't show up?
Naruto paused in his tracks. His hands fell motionless to his sides and he whipped himself around and started walking the other way. He shook his head, ignoring the odd looks he was receiving from passersby. That wasn't an option, he told himself. He couldn't chicken out now. His brisk pace slowed. But if he wasn't ready?
Stop being such a friggin girl, Uzumaki! He grit his teeth and resumed his brisk pace in the direction he hoped would take him to Sakura-chan. He turned a corner and halted, a small figure throwing her arms up and shrieking.
"Oh goodness, it's just you," Shizune clasped a hand to her rapidly rising chest. She huffed a sigh of relief, bending over to pick up a small package that had dropped from her hand. "The kage dinner is going to start soon," Shizune said. "I was hoping to get this to the kazekage before it does. Judging by how things went earlier, he may need this. Could you deliver it for me? I have a million things to do before dinner begins."
Naruto glanced down at the small white package in his hand. "Tsunade's hangover medicine?" he asked.
Shizune leaned in, giving him a knowing look. "Trust me. He'll need it. Be a dear and hurry that up to him?" Naruto nodded absently, wondering if Gaara had possibly been drunk just moments ago. His breath had tasted faintly of liquor but Naruto had thought nothing of it at the time. Shizune's face stopped smiling. "Naruto-kun?" she asked, her brown eyes softening into concern. "Is everything okay?"
Naruto forced a smile to his lips. "Yeah, sure. I better hurry!" he said, turning down the corridor and back into the direction of the diplomat's quarters.
By the time Naruto reached the familiar landing, he noticed a different guard standing in place. Naruto strolled down the hall briskly, nodding politely to a fair haired female guard who greeted him in turn. "Is the kazekage still in?" Naruto asked, pointing with one finger to the door. She shook her head and Naruto's shoulders slumped.
"He left for dinner not long ago. I'm afraid he had to rush for fear of being tardy." Naruto nodded, clenching his fingers a little tighter around the package.
"I'll try again later," Naruto said, glancing once more at the door and wondering what exactly had happened behind it's doors what seemed like minutes ago.
-
Gaara stumbled across the threshold, grabbing the wall for support and quickly discovered he had misjudged its distance. His guard was swift to catch him, throwing one arm around a padded shoulder and ambling toward the bed carefully while Gaara dragged his feet.
The Kazekage had hoped that by hurrying the after dinner drinks, Tsunade would tire sooner. That was his first mistake. His stomach gave a slight lurch when his arm slipped and he nearly topped over while his feet failed to move in any direction that made sense at the moment.
"Kazekage-sama, shall I summon a medic?" His guard, lowered him to the bed carefully. Gaara shook his head, wishing that whatever was in his stomach would stop threatening to come back up. He clapped his hand over his mouth with the first gag and his guard scrambled, eyes darting frantically across the room. The finest speed in Suna at work to retrieve the single waste basket adjacent to the writing desk against the wall. Gaara doubled over, his eyes watering and his body forced out what he suspected was dinner though he could not recall anything in nature being quite that color. He breathed through his open mouth, the sour stench making his stomach lurch again. He tried to fight it but his body was heaving and the second wave of nausea overwhelmed him. He tried not to look too closely this time, turning his nose to avoid the powerful stench emanating from the basket. Gaara breathed heavily, wiping away the moisture pooling at the corner of his eyes.
"Are you okay sir?" his guard asked carefully.
Gaara nodded, discovering that despite the unsavory taste in his mouth and the sting of bile in the back of his throat, his stomach felt significantly better. His guard pulled away the basket and placed it outside the suite. "I will request for hospitality to clear the mess." Gaara nodded his thanks. He silently swore to himself he would be careful next time when drinking with the Hokage. It would not do for two leaders to render themselves defenseless through the consumption of too many cups. His guard returned, wiping at his face with a cloth. He put up with this uncommon show of fussiness simply because he too desired to be rid of it.
"Shizune said this would happen," a voice said from the doorway. Gaara turned and Naruto smirked from the door frame. "I should have warned you about Tsunade-baba. Sakura tells me she's something fierce." He loped gracefully toward the desk, placing a small packet down soundlessly. He stood before the bed, hunching down to eye level. "Can you walk?" He extended one hand toward him, fingers curling up. "We should get you cleaned up," he said, hand already entwining their fingers together. He stood carefully, still disoriented and felt the other shinobi's grip tighten when he began sliding back down to the bed. "Come on," he said, using one arm to pull him back up. A warm hand steadied his waist, carefully ambling over to the door. "Can you get the door?" Naruto called over his shoulder to the guard following them down the hall. His guard complied silently, holding open the door for the clumsy pair.
The lights were too bright and Gaara found himself squinting when Naruto flipped on the switch. He leaned against the wall by the sink while Naruto turned on the tap, water swirling down the white sink. He filled a cup with water and placed it in shaky hands. "Rinse out your mouth," he said and Gaara nodded, slurping up enough liquid to cover his tongue and swishing the water back and forth in his mouth. He leaned forward carefully and spat. He repeated the process until he no longer felt like his tongue was sweeping the inside of a trash can.
"Better?" Naruto asked. His blue eyes watched him carefully. Gaara nodded, his fingers clenched against the rim of the porcelain sink. He glanced at himself in the mirror, catching sight of two blood shot eyes lined in dark shadows. His cheeks were still flushed against his pale skin. Naruto filled a clean glass and handed it to him. "Drink it. It's safe," he said. Gaara shook his head, desiring not to upset the rather precarious balance of his stomach. Naruto persisted, pressing the glass into his hands. "Trust me. You'll thank me in the morning."
Gaara accepted it reluctantly and took a clumsy sip, feeling the water dribble down his chin. He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand before forcing himself to down half the glass. He took a deep breath as he handed it back. Naruto accepted this. He placed the glass down and shifted, his body gravitating closer. He slipped his arm around Gaara's waist, holding him tight enough for their hips to brush carelessly.
"I think it's time for bed," he said. Gaara turned away, feeling queasy in a way entirely unrelated to the contents of his stomach. Naruto paused, mouth opening wordlessly. He turned, but not enough to hide the flush in his cheeks. "I mean to sleep," he murmured. They were moving again, away from the bright lights into the hall dim with a soft yellow glow that threw shadows across Naruto's face. "Not quite what I expected tonight," Naruto thought aloud, as the guard opened the door for them. The waste basket had been removed and the fowl stench only lingered slightly, a faint spike that broke through the heavy scent of flowers.
Naruto wrinkled his nose. "Someone sprayed too much perfume," he said, lowering Gaara to the bed. "But I suppose it can't be helped. Do you have anything to sleep in?" Naruto directed at his guard. The guard was already opening a drawer, pulling out a plain black shirt and pants. He carried them over, offering the folded garments in his outstretched hands.
"You can't sleep in that," Naruto said, eying the robe. Gaara nodded. He was pulled to his feet again and Naruto's fingers were picking the fabric at the small of his back. The obi loosened and slipped down his waist. Gaara breathed a sigh of content, placing his palms flat against Naruto's chest as the stiff material was pulled away from him. His guard accepted the long roll and began winding it into something more orderly. Naruto nudged his hands away just long enough to slip the wine colored robe from his arms. Gaara nearly lost his balance but Naruto's hands were quick to catch him, placing his palms back in their original place. The strings of his under robe quickly fell away and when gentle hands pried the folds apart, the room suddenly felt chilly against his bare chest. Gaara averted his gaze, feeling his cheeks burn as Naruto paused and two blue eyes darted below his neck.
Naruto's fingers brushed against his arm. "You should sit down," he said. Gaara nodded, still unable to meet his gaze. He felt for the mattress with one grasping hand, settling his body onto the edge carefully. He scoot back until he felt he was safely grounded. Naruto pulled the black shirt over his head. He tugged on it until it slipped free of one ear and settled it over Gaara's bare shoulders. As Naruto smiled at him, pulling one arm through the first sleeve Gaara was reminded of a memory from long ago, of Yashamaru's warm eyes smiling at him while he pulled on his night clothes just like this.
"Gaara?" Naruto paused, his blue eyes bright beneath the slight wrinkle in his brow. The back of Naruto's hand pressed against his cheek and Gaara tilted, leaning into that touch.
"Stay with me," Gaara said and Naruto's brief smile faded. He hesitated, turning away when the forgotten guard cleared his throat and excused himself. Naruto nodded and watched as the door closed softly.
"You want your pants on or is that too much effort at the moment?" Naruto said instead. Gaara felt a spike of irritation. He glanced at the pair folded next to him and grabbed it. He leaned forward as he tried to pull on one of the legs and quickly felt himself tumbling forward. Naruto caught him by the shoulders and rolled him back the other way. "Guess that answers that question. Come on," Naruto said. Gaara was being pressed against the mattress, his head falling against the soft pillow. Gaara caught Naruto's arm preventing the shinobi from moving further away from him.
Naruto bit his lip, covering Gaara's hand with his own and patting it softly. "I'm... not leaving. Relax." Gaara released him and Naruto moved to the other side of the bed. Gaara felt the mattress dip next to him, shifting as Naruto's body drew near. "See?" Naruto whispered to him. "I'm right here," he said.
Gaara closed his eyes and pressed himself closer to the body next to his, willing his heart to stop beating so erratically. He concentrated on the rhythm of the heart beating against him, willing it lull him into a familiar calm. "I'm sorry," Gaara whispered and Naruto shushed him soothingly, warm breath ghosting over his hair.
"Don't be," Naruto said. "Shh, close your eyes now. Sleep," Naruto urged. "I'm right here," he repeated. A hand brushed against his arm, the barest weight placed against his skin. Slowly, Naruto rested the weight of his hand on Gaara's arm.
This small touch provided a well of relief. Gaara's fingers snaked up, grabbing Naruto's hand and pulling it around his waist. The other shinobi stiffened against him and Gaara curled his body against him, finally allowing exhaustion from the day's events to wash over him. He thought about blankets at the last moment, but Naruto's body was warm and he felt safe wrapped in the jinchuuriki's arms. And Naruto was still in his clothes, he thought, but his conscious mind could offer no solution to this before drifting into dreams.
-
Gaara shifted and cringed a little when small needles seemed to prick along the inside of his arm. He clenched his fingers alternately, rolling onto his stomach to relieve the pressure. He paused, when he collided with solid mass, his cheek obstructed by a large pillow that was very warm and judging by the even rising and falling, very alive.
Gaara's eyes shot open in alarm. Uzumaki's sleeping face greeted him, his lips parted and a dried crust on his cheek marking a dried trail of drool. He was full dressed, only his feet bare at the end of the bed, still on top of the blanket. Gaara looked down at himself and realized that he had been changed into his sleeping clothes, or half of them anyways. He was seized with a moment of pure terror while his eyes darted across the room frantically for his pants. He tried to recall the events of the night before and slowly, he began piecing them together.
Gaara took a deep breath, relieved that he had done nothing to truly embarrass himself. Or grateful, rather, that Naruto had not allowed him to. Gaara shifted carefully, wincing a little when the sheets rustled beneath him and the bed groaned with the shifting of his weight. Naruto took a deeper breath, but his eyes remained closed, and his head lolled from one side of the pillow to the next. Gaara rose to his feet slowly. He felt a moment of dizziness when he stood, nearly sinking back onto the bed and frowning when his temples throbbed in rhythm with his heart beat. He tried again and kept his balance, padding across the room carefully and pulling out his clothes for the day. He pulled off the pajama top, setting it down on the vanity and pulled the mesh undergarment over his head.
"What time is it?" Naruto murmured. Gaara glanced over, pulling down the top hurriedly. Naruto's eyes were still closed, one arm covering his eyes.
"Early," Gaara said, glancing out the window at the still soft light spilling over Konoha's walls.
"Don't kages ever sleep in?" Naruto muttered, rolling over onto his side and burying his face into the pillow.
"I cannot speak for the Hokage," Gaara said, pulling on another shirt, "but I seldom sleep long past sunrise."
Naruto groaned into the pillow. "Sunrise?".
Gaara paused and watched the still form sprawled out on his bed. A memory from the day before flashed unbidden and he felt his body flare with a heat he had only recently discovered himself capable of. Gaara grabbed a pair of pants and quickly put them on.
"Rest," he said, turning to glance at himself in the vanity. He smoothed out his curls with his fingers, pausing when he glanced sidelong at the reflection of the man stretched out on the mattress. Naruto's shirt had ridden up his torso, an inch of golden skin just visible between the edge of his shirt and the hem of his shorts. Gaara averted his gaze. He tried to summon the boldness behind yesterday's kiss, but it had escaped him. The moment had passed. "I must tend to business," Gaara said, allowing himself one more glimpse. Naruto was motionless on the bed. His chest rose and fell evenly and Gaara realized he had fallen back asleep.
He tried not to feel disappointed, but he looked back at the vanity with a sense that he had somehow wasted a precious night and an important one. His cheeks flared when he remembered his words less than a day ago. He wondered if Naruto had come to him with certain expectations that he failed to deliver on.
He was distracted when he noticed the white package Naruto had left on the vanity the night before. A simple while packet rested on the dark wood and Gaara picked it up, noting the messy writing scrawled across the middle. "Tsunade's hangover special," it said, followed by a hastily added happy face sticking out it's tongue. Gaara's fingers carefully lifted the flap, peering inside to see a collection of herbs he presumed he should make into a tea. Gaara glanced in the mirror one more time at the reflection of the sleeping figure. The paper rustled softly amidst the rise and fall of sleep-laden breaths.
-
Naruto lingered in the halls of the Hokage tower. He stuck to the less crowded hallways, careful to avoid Iruka's path lest he get yelled at again for lolly-gagging, or whatever old-person word he had used to describe Naruto's present state of idleness. He glanced down the hall again, but the guards were quiet, standing at attention and making no move to show that anyone was leaving the meeting room anytime soon.
Naruto tapped his foot against the floor impatiently, one hand twirling the stem of a single orange rose in his hand. He picked at the small leaf, startling when it broke off in his clumsy fingers. Naruto's mouth fell open and he tried to catch it and watched it fall to the floor.
"Hrm, littering in the Hokage's tower. Isn't that illegal?"
Naruto whirled to find Sakura smiling at him, her green eyes noticing the rose immediately.
"Impatient for a hot date, are we?" She shifted her stance, hefting the stack of folders in her arms higher and tightening her grip.
"It's not a date," Naruto mumbled. "It's just... I wanted to make sure Gaara was feeling well. That is... as soon as he gets out of the meeting." Naruto tucked the rose away behind his back, suddenly self-conscious of the long stem and the fact that it was a single bud and not a bouquet.
"And you chose an orange rose?" Sakura teased, arching one slim pink brow. Naruto felt the heat rush to his cheeks.
"Ino said it was a good choice. That it matched my personality." He scratched his chin, recalling how enthusiastic Ino was about helping him and he began to question whether he had not been blindsided by his nervousness in the situation.
Sakura erupted into laughter. "I bet. Do you know what an orange rose means? Or did Ino leave that part out?"
Naruto pulled the rose forward, frowning at the pouty shaped tip, like lips pushed together for a kiss. "No... what does it mean?"
"Generally, orange means desire," Sakura smiled, offering a comforting pat before the folders began slipping and she hurriedly clutched them to her chest.
Naruto felt his cheeks explode into a fiery blush. "I... I can't give him this! Here, you take it!" He held out the rose, realizing she had no free hands to grab it. He tried to carefully put it on top of the folders when he heard a commotion behind him and the heavy doors of the conference room being thrown open.
Sakura stepped away shaking her head with a tut. "I'm not getting involved with this one. Have fun on your date," she smiled and quickly slipped away.
Naruto shot her a pleading look as she escaped down the hall, before glancing down the other side of the hall in panic. Tsunade emerged from the meeting room looking tired and ready for round two at the sake bottles. Gaara followed her calmly, pausing only when it was obvious that he had been spotted down the hall.
Naruto remembered the rose in his hand and stuffed it behind his back. He stood up straight and tried to be casual, as casual as he could be standing alone in the middle of the hallway on the highest level of the Hokage tower.
"Uzumaki, you're not on guard detail today. What are you doing here?" Tsunade asked, tilting her head side ways. "And what's that poking out from behind you?" She pointed a manicured fingernail at the long green stem protruding from behind his back.
Naruto cleared his throat, keeping his eyes on Gaara as he pulled out the single orange rose in front of his leader and their entire delegation. A few of the elders covered their mouths, failing to conceal their smiles. He held the rose up, hesitating. Gaara's expression had softened, eying the rose before his green eyes flicked upward and met Naruto's gaze. Naruto's heart was beating faster than Lee could run. He shoved the rose toward Tsunade, closing his eyes as he pressed it into her hand.
"This is for you," he said, mentally kicking himself when Gaara's expression fell.
Tsunade snorted, picking up the rose with minimum interest. "Sorry kid, you're not my type." She handed it to Shizune who looked at it with utter confusion.
"It's not from me," Naruto barked, crossing his arms over his chest defensively. "I'm just giving it to you for someone."
Tsunade lifted a brow, thoroughly unconvinced. She turned her head to glance at the Kazekage to convey her utter skepticism.
"Sure kid," she said. "Since you're here, be useful. Escort the Kazekage to his rooms? And try to stay out of trouble while you're at it." She shot him a wink, one hand patting his shoulder and pushing away slightly as the delegation moved forward.
Naruto nodded and gave a salute, holding his position until Tsunade was down the hall chuckling at some joke she had muttered to her party. Gaara stood quietly in the hall, eyes trained on Naruto and didn't speak a single word. Naruto lowered his arm and sighed. He looked at Gaara and frowned a little.
"Are you feeling better?" he asked. "You were gone before I got up this morning, but I noticed the medicine missing so I thought..." Naruto scratched his cheek, realizing he had started to ramble.
Gaara nodded his head. "Thank you. Tsunade's remedy proved most effective." Naruto nodded and the two fell into silence. Naruto twiddled his thumbs together, one foot tapping the ground while he stared at the empty space between them. He thought on commenting on the immaculate state of the marble floors. He swallowed audibly in the growing stretch of silence, frowning when Gaara made no move to explain why he had woke up alone in the kage's suite. A question lingered on the tip of his tongue, the morning's loneliness a fresh spike of anxiety on the back burner. Naruto's clothes rustled as his sandal scuffed along the marble floor. Part of him wondered it maybe he didn't want to know. Their second kiss had proved more overwhelming than he expected and he wondered if perhaps it had been the result of too much sake and if maybe after sobering up Gaara had changed his mind.
"Are you hungry?" Naruto asked instead, not yet interested in food, but in the pursuit of anything that would break the tense silence. Gaara paused and began to shake his head. He stopped and glanced up, eyes rounding with an unspoken question.
"Are you?" he asked and Naruto paused. He pressed a hand against his stomach, feeling for any potential rumblings that had not yet spoken up and then shook his head. Quiet descended on them both and Naruto wondered if Gaara was always this quiet or if he was just noticing it for the first time.
"You um, want to go see the cherry blossoms?" Naruto asked. Gaara bit his lip and Naruto mentally smacked himself when he realized what an idiotic question that was. He grimaced to himself and rubbed the back of his neck turning to see if anyone else was in the hall with them.
"Do you want to?" Gaara asked and a sense of dread started to fill Naruto's stomach when he realized that his visions of sweeping Gaara off his feet would stay very much in his imagination.
"Argh!" Naruto shouted, fisting his hair. "Why is this so hard?" He turned and stomped along the hall trying to figure out where he was going wrong. Naruto paused, suddenly alarmed. Gaara was silent, his face lowered and his pale brow furrowed. "I'm sorry. It's not you, it's just this whole dating business. I don't," Naruto paused, aware of the delicate nature of what he was about to say and even more aware that delicacy was not his forte. "I don't know what to do. I've never been on a date before," he admitted. "I thought maybe we should, you know? Cuz that's what people who like each other seem to do, but maybe..." Naruto stopped. "Can we just hang out today? Like we normally do? Is... is that okay?" he asked.
Gaara quirked his head to the side. The corners of his mouth tugged upward in the barest hint of a smile.
"I would be delighted to," Gaara answered.
-
The sky was all round petals shifting in the breeze. Gaara inhaled deeply, one hand brushing away a petal that had landed on his cheek. He held it up, turning the small slip in his fingers before letting it fall and returning his hand to rest on his belly.
"This is how cherry blossoms should be admired," commented Naruto. Gaara turned his head, glancing at the shinobi resting his head against his hands. A few sweaty strands still stuck to his forehead. His cheeks were still red from the exertion that came with racing as they were prone to do. Or rather, as Naruto was prone to instigate.
He frowned when he remembered their exchange in the garden, at Naruto's surprisingly cold response. The question lingered at the tip of his tongue and he bit it back, convinced it was pointless to question it now.
Hadn't Naruto already expressed his feelings through action? Hadn't he shown up last night?
Gaara felt his cheeks burn with shame. Kankuro had warned him about drinking and Gaara had proven his concerns valid. He turned and looked at the Konohan whose thoughts also seemed to be drifting. His long pale lashes were lowered half-mast, his mouth pressed losed in an unusual somber look. Naruto blinked and turned, brow lifting in question.
Gaara licked his lips, taking a deeper breath than usual. His eyes dipped down before he forced himself to meet the other man's stare. "I apologize for last night."
Uzumaki's brows sloped downward and he turned away, staring back up at the umbrella of blossoms. "I told you, there's nothing to apologize for. Is there." This last statement sounded more like a question to Gaara and he wondered about the implications behind it.
"It was irresponsible for me to drink so recklessly last night. I apologize that you had to see me in such a shameful state. And I thank you," Gaara paused, remembering the warm arm draped around him at night, "for staying with me."
Naruto shrugged. "I wanted to make sure you were okay."
"You weren't disappointed?" Gaara asked, noting a rather audible thumping in his chest.
Naruto's chest rose and fell. He shifted over onto his side, cradling his head in his propped up hand.
"To be honest, I was terrified."
Gaara averted his gaze, nodding as if he could understand that a little.
"At first I thought about running away because that kiss was just... wow and then you said you wanted to continue and at the time that seemed like a good idea, but to be honest, it's... it's kind of my first time and it's a little terrifying to think about."
Gaara nodded. Just thinking about it now, his boldness yesterday, he wondered where that sort of courage had come from.
"And then Shizune asked me to take you that medicine. She said you and Tsunade-baba were drinking like whales and then I was scared for another reason. I thought... what if you only kissed me because you were drunk?"
Gaara glanced up, startled. His mouth fell open and he shook his head to deny it. His cheeks grew warm as he reviewed his behavior yesterday. Naruto's face looked pained and Gaara couldn't speak. He just shook his head and hoped that would convey everything to him. How could he explain his utter rashness?
"So you weren't? Drunk, that is," Naruto asked carefully.
"No," Gaara answered simply. Naruto let out a shaky breath, falling back onto the grass.
"That is such a relief. Here I was feeling like a total pervert for taking advantage of a drunk guy. Geez." He let out a nervous chuckle. He exhaled audibly and Gaara smiled. A small knot of anxiety unraveled in the pit of his stomach. The sense of distance between them dissipated momentarily. "Then you didn't regret it this morning? That's not why you left me alone in your room?"
Gaara felt a pang of guilt twisting inside him. He looked away, shaking his head and then realized Naruto was avoiding looking at him.
"I didn't know what to say. I didn't know... how to face you after last night."
Naruto huffed. "You could have left a note," he said and Gaara winced inwardly.
"I could have," he agreed. "But you are the first man I've woken up to in my bed. What does one say in the morning? I'm afraid I did not know the protocol."
Naruto was silent. Gaara frowned when he sensed his friend's anger.
"When is there protocol between us?" Naruto asked. Gaara caught the accusation. Annoyed, Gaara turned his back to the shinobi, cradling his head against the scratchy blades of grass.
His earlier question returned, recalling the look of surprise on Uzumaki's face as he held his tea cup beneath the orchard.
"Is that not what you want?" Gaara said, his own voice laced with accusations. "Was it not you who preferred protocol in the orchard yesterday?"
"What?" Naruto barked out. "What are you talking about?" Gaara's fingers curled against the grass, feeling the blades tearing from the root.
"I extended an offering of peace yesterday," he sat up, tossing the small handful of grass at the shinobi like a child throwing a tantrum. "As I poured you your tea. And you refused it." Gaara looked away, trying to concentrate on anything but the man next to him.
Naruto's clothes rustled but Gaara refused to look at him. He felt one hand resting on his shoulder and Gaara tried to shrug it off, but Naruto held on.
"I was daydreaming when you were pouring my tea. I literally didn't hear what you said and by the time I realized you had spoken, it was too late to ask you to repeat yourself."
Gaara's shoulders began to relax. "What were you daydreaming about that was so distracting?" he asked.
Naruto snorted. "Ironically, you." Gaara turned to glance at him, but Naruto's expression was sincere. "I'm sorry I hurt your feelings yesterday," Naruto said. His thumb pressed just under Gaara's chin. Gaara tried to look away, but Naruto wouldn't let him. "And that I doubted your sincerity." He leaned in closer, his nose just bumping Gaara's. "I was so worried that you would keep your word- that you would forget your feelings for me just as I was discovering mine." A hand cupped Gaara's cheek and the kazekage found himself leaning. A nervous flutter rose in his stomach and his green eyes dipped to the mouth a breath away from his.
He shook his head slightly. "I couldn't," he said. "I tried to forget, but I couldn't." One hand grasped Uzumaki's shirt, clinging to him like he was a dream that would shift away.
"Shh," Naruto said, pursing his lips so they brushed against Gaara's the way they had the first time they kissed. Gaara sucked in a shuddering breath, tipping his face up. "Neither could I," he murmured, fitting his mouth against the crevices of Gaara's parted lips.