AN: This is being uploaded faster than I anticipated. It's a shorter chapter and I know some of you won't be too happy at the end of it and I'll try to work on the next chapter as soon as my cosplay is finished... in two weeks. D: Thanks to all the lovely readers out there reviewing. I may not respond to a lot of them, but I'm reading! And I appreciate you all taking the time to drop a few lines. :)
-Tasukigirl/Tsusami
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Love vs. Duty
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Naruto was all smiles as they emerged from the park, regaling Gaara with tales of the horror concerning his teammates and alcohol. Naruto warned against the odd effects the seemingly innocuous drink could have and recalling the dull throbbing of his head greeting him in the morning, Gaara considered himself reformed.
Sometime during the story, Gaara had gathered up his courage and slipped his hand into the other shinobi's who didn't seem to notice or pause his story in the slightest. He continued to hold Gaara's hand as though it were a matter of course, and they walked like that, one shinobi gesturing wildly with his free hand to illustrate the story while Gaara followed.
They paused as they reached the Hokage tower where the diplomat's quarters were tucked away and Naruto looked at him meaningfully. He glanced at the tower, an unspoken question lingering in the air. Naruto glanced down at their fingers, still entwined.
"I guess this was kind of a date after all," he said, smiling nervously. Gaara gave a single nod, smiling with the memory of their kiss still fresh in his mind. He bit his lip self-consciously, wondering if it was perhaps inappropriate to try repeating the performance, here in the open. But he was spared the option of choosing. A voice cleared itself and Gaara was aware of the small pinprick of chakra use just a yard away. Gaara let his hand slip from Uzumaki's turning to block the other shinobi out of instinct. A konoha guard, mask obscuring his face, bowed on one knee.
"Pardon the intrusion, Kazekage-sama. Hokage-sama requests an audience with Uzumaki." Long black hair trailed down the white anbu vest.
"Baa-san wants to see me?" Uzumaki asked, stepping forward.
"Immediately," the mask answered. The Anbu guard bowed and was gone just as quickly.
Gaara turned and tilted his head, but Naruto only shook his head, his eyes on the high windows of the tower. "It's probably a mission, but Baa-san doesn't usually assign me any while you're visiting." Naruto frowned. "I'll walk with you as far as I can. You'll be okay getting back to your room?" Gaara nodded and the two of them turned toward the tower. Naruto shoved his hands in his pockets, continuing the story. He paused again when they reached the center lobby. He stared at his feet, one hand rubbing the back of his head.
"Can I see you later?" Gaara asked and Naruto's lips spread in a sheepish sort of smile. He nodded tentatively.
"Sure," he said.
"Then I'll be waiting," Gaara said, turning on his heel and beginning the march up the tall staircase. Gaara was aware of the quiet guards watching them as he ascended the steps. He was certain Naruto too felt their presence. He tried to ignore the sense of uneasiness growing inside him, taking one last glance at Naruto before twisting out of sight down the other hall.
-
Naruto waved to the guards stationed just outside Tsunade's office. He nodded to the anbu mask who had delivered the message, pretty sure it was Neji, judging by the long dark hair. "Why so glum," Naruto winked, laughing at his own joke when Neji's mask, the severe looking eagle mask glanced back. "Am I clear to enter?" he asked and Neji, or who he was sure was Neji, gave a curt nodding, rapping gloved knuckles against the wooden door.
"Enter," Tsunade yelled back and Naruto pushed open the door, smiling as he entered despite her rather annoyed expression.
"Hey baa-san, what's going on?" Naruto asked, placing both hands behind his neck and grinning like he was twelve. Tsunade tapped her brush against her desk impatiently. She picked up a familiar looking orange rose and lifted her brows as if to remind him of what exactly was going on.
"That was a cute stunt you pulled earlier. You've got all the elders tittering. Do I really need to remind you of your duties as a shinobi before the higher ups start gossiping about my inability to control certain subordinates?"
Naruto's cheeks heated up. He laughed it off, waving it away. "I promise not to give you any more roses?"
Tsunade pressed a hand to her forehead and sighed. "This isn't the problem. I'm talking about the stunt you pulled in the sakura garden. Do you really think we don't have guards stationed to observe the Kazekage?" All Naruto's smart responses instantly vanished. He covered his face with one hand, realizing with utter mortification that Neji had probably been one of them. He had been so caught up in his inner turmoil he forgot the ninja basics.
"Baa-san!" he yelled though he really had no reason to complain.
Tsunade's severe expression melted. "I respect his privacy behind doors, but the public sphere is open to prying eyes, be it civilian or shinobi. It was careless," she said and there was no compassion in her tone. "And it puts me in a difficult position."
Naruto felt himself shrink a little.
"What kind of difficult position?" he asked.
Tsunade looked up and placed both hands on her desk. Her brown eyes looked straight at him. "For years I've been trying to soften up the council to the possibility of allowing you to be my successor. I'm getting old, Naruto, and you're still too young to be Hokage." Whatever smile had lingered on his face vanished. "There are still some rather... conservative members that are strongly opposed to the idea. But if you go down this path, if you choose to pursue the Kazekage romantically, I'm afraid I'll have to forfeit your name entirely."
Naruto frowned and shook his head. "But why? Why should it matter who I..." he paused when she shook her head.
"Think about it Naruto. Gaara isn't just anyone. He's the leader of an allied nation. If your relationship turns sour will diplomatic relations go with them? Not to mention the number of enemies who will target him for being your significant other and vice versa."
"But I'm strong enough to fight," Naruto protested. But Tsunade raised her hand silencing his arguments.
"I know you believe yourself capable of protecting yourself and him. Personally, I want to believe you capable of handling this. But the council will not be so forgiving, nor understanding. For them it's a matter of love versus duty. I'm afraid I have to ask you to choose."
Naruto stepped back, nearly stumbling over his own feet. "Just like that?" he barked out. "My shinobi status or my personal life?" He grit his teeth, both fists clenched against his sides.
Tsunade lowered her gaze, the pain of a memory clear on her expression. "It isn't fair, but sometimes that's what it means to be Hokage. You'll have to be able to make those hard decisions. Think about it," Tsunade said. She looked up and offered a weak attempt at a smile. "You can answer me tomorrow."
"How very generous of you," Naruto said meanly. He exaggerated his bow, not waiting for his Hokage to dismiss him and slammed the door on his way out. "Hope you enjoyed the show, Hyuuga," he spat out before stomping down the hall.
-
Gaara sat at the desk provided for him in the kage suite. He tried to keep his mind on business and not the faintest hint of footsteps on the landing outside his rooms. He thought of forming the third eye, keeping it positioned outside his door, but he did not want his guards to think he had lost faith in them. Gaara glanced at the fading light outside the window, switching on the light at his desk and concentrating on the words in front of him once more.
He waited what he believed was fifteen minutes, and then twenty. When he was certain he had been sitting for half an hour he wondered if it was a particularly long meeting or if Uzumaki had indeed been sent off on a mission right away. Gaara frowned. If so, the shinobi would be packing, or changing out of his civilian clothes at least. Were he to hurry he might catch him...
Gaara's glanced toward the door even as his fingers were moving. A single bunshin appeared, shaped by his sand and Gaara stood, nodding to his double who took his spot. Gaara pressed his hands into another set of seals, giving off a small chakra burst as he henged. He glanced in the mirror, Uzumaki's cheeky grin smiling at him and set off.
He stuck to the roof tops, recalling the quickest way to reach Uzumaki's small apartment, but when he got there, the windows were closed as were the doors. Gaara peeked inside the bedroom window, but everything looked undisturbed. Gaara tried to approach the front door, but when he knocked, there was no answer and when he listened for sounds inside, everything was silent. Gaara frowned to himself and tried to figure out where Naruto could possibly have gone.
-
Naruto tossed four stars at once, each one slipping from his fingers as his body arched backward through the air. He landed on two feet, listening for each to hit it's mark and growling when he missed half of them. He stomped over to the missed targets, clutching the star tightly and tugging fiercely to rip the blade free from the wood. He gripped tight enough to feel the blade bite dangerously into his hand, easing up and throwing it at the target directly behind him instead. Naruto fisted his hand and drove it into the bullseye tacked onto the wood. The rough surface bit into the thin flesh over his knuckles, the pain sharp and immediate. He punched again with the other fist.
"This isn't FAIR!" he yelled, clenching his jaw and panting while one fist still pressed against the bloody mark. "It's NOT fair," he said more quietly this time. He breathed deeply, trying to let go of the outrage pouring through his body. He punched the wood again willing it to transfer from his fist into the mark. I can't face Gaara like this, he thought to himself.
He sighed and heaved his body away. He picked up his stars more calmly this time before returning to the starting position again. His feet began rushing ahead of him, body preparing for the familiar leap. He launched himself into the air, body twisting as it would were an enemy throwing weapons. He released the stars, hearing them slice the air audibly. Each of them thudded as they hit their mark, sinking deeply into the wood of each tree. Naruto surveyed the mess, noting that only one had hit the target this time. He rubbed his eyes with one sweaty hand. He was losing more and more concentration with each try. Naruto glanced up at the treetops. Night was practically upon him. And somewhere in the Hokage tower, Gaara was still waiting. He would worry and he would think something was wrong.
And he didn't need to know that anything was. Not until Naruto had decided.
He took a look at himself, lifting one bloody hand and grimacing at the torn skin, edges black with dirt. He ignored the sting, making the short circuit to retrieve his stars and pocketed them as he made for home.
-
Gaara removed the key from the doorknob, allowing the small item to dissolve back into sand as he opened the door. Naruto's apartment smelled like the spice that came with ramen, a faint spike of pepper and miso mingled in the somewhat stale air. He released the henge, a slight pop in the air and when he reached for the empty ramen cup on the table it was his own pale hand that sent it tumbling and rolling toward the edge.
The remaining soup had dried out days ago. Naruto had not yet come home.
Gaara made his way to the bedroom, to the window where he had waited the first time, memory still fresh in his mind as though it were yesterday and not nearly a year ago.
Where could Naruto be? he thought, glancing out the window at the dark street below. The lamps had been lit, throwing a soft yellow light illuminating no further than a three feet radius. Lights illuminated small windows and colored curtains. Gaara preferred to remain in the dark. His bunshin was still intact but it was only a matter of time before his guard began to suspect. He moved away from the window in case anyone was watching, reaching out carefully to feel for any shinobi in the immediate area. He busied himself with inspecting Uzumaki's things. A poster on the wall of a movie he had never seen, a photo of his genin team, his twelve year old face still round with baby fat and scrunched up in a scowl that Gaara recognized. His bed was messy even though he hadn't slept in it last night. When Gaara brushed his hand over the sheets, none of his warmth was there.
His hand caught on a small lump of black fabric and when he lifted it up he found a sleeping cap of sorts, big round eyes looking at him over a bulbous nose. Gaara held it up in the air making out the face, but not quite what kind it was.
He heard the door open and quickly lowered the sleeping cap. He dropped it onto the bed, swiftly exiting the room. Naruto paused at the doorway. Gaara's smile faded when Naruto gave no signs of enjoying his presence here. He glanced down and noted the raw knuckles hanging at his side.
"You're hurt," he said.
Naruto lifted his hand and glanced at his knuckles. He shook his head, slipping off his last shoe and stepping onto the wooden floor. "It's nothing. I'll clean it up and it will be fine. What are you doing here?" he asked, walking over to the small restroom.
"You're displeased that I'm here?" Gaara spoke cautiously. Uzumaki's mood was obvious even to him. They had been all smiles earlier. Something had indeed happened. He stayed next to the kitchen table, raising his voice so Naruto could hear over the rush of the faucet. Naruto held both hands under the water. He stared at his hands, and Gaara resisted the urge to move over to his side.
Uzumaki turned off the tap and toweled his hands dry. "I'm just surprised is all," he said, rummaging through drawers and various boxes. He reemerged from the bathroom with ointment and bandages. Gaara wrinkled his brow.
"The tailed beast no longer heals your wounds?" Naruto's lips quirked up. He sat at the table, setting his first aid supplies on the wooden surface.
"Baa-san told me it's not good for my body. She's helped me learn to control it. I only let it heal me if it's life threatening." Gaara nodded, taking the seat next to Naruto.
"I was concerned when you did not visit. I searched for you, perhaps unwisely, with no success. Has something happened?" It took too long for Naruto to shake his head. He looked up with a smile that failed to touch his eyes.
"A quick mission," he said. "But I was careless," he lifted his hands. "Kakashi-sensei always warns me not to be so hasty," he chuckled. Gaara watched him quietly. There was something off he could not quite detect.
"The mission is not yet over, is it?" Naruto startled briefly. He forced another smile.
"What makes you say that?" He wrapped the bandages around his hand slowly.
"You're here and not filing your report in the tower, or visiting my bunshin upon completing it." Gaara said, certain he was correct when Naruto smiled and shook his head. Naruto finished tying off the bandage, ripping the edge with his teeth and taping the end. He started on the next hand, focusing on the movement of the tape winding across his hands.
"Tsunade-baba chewed me out for earlier today," he started. Gaara tilted his head, not understanding. "The incident with the rose was a bit of an embarrassment and the old-fogies didn't appreciate it. So I got into a little bit of trouble. But none of that matters now. I just had to blow off some steam before I saw you."
Looking at Uzumaki's hands, the dried wounds disappearing beneath white bandage, Gaara didn't think that was the end of the story. But he knew better than to press for more. The loudest ninja in Konoha did not hold back without a reason.
Gaara stood from his chair. "I've intruded and I apologize. Please, see to your duties. I have already neglected mine for too long." He pushed the chair closer to the table and turned to leave. Naruto's hand tugged on his sleeve.
"Wait, don't go. I'm sorry," he said. He rose from the table and Gaara stood still as Uzumaki's warmth drew near, his chest pressing against Gaara's back while two arms wound across his shoulders. One bandage was still hanging from his right hand. Naruto inhaled sharply, his arms tightening a little more. Gaara pressed one hand to the arm allowing the touch.
"Tell me what's wrong," he said.
Naruto shook his head, the fabric of Gaara's clothes rustling where Naruto's cheek brushed against it. "I can't," he whispered.
"Classified?" Gaara though aloud. This was acceptable to him but Naruto was shaking his head again. Gaara considered Naruto's words carefully. Only one more conclusion remained. "Then your village is opposed to our match. They frown upon a subordinate of theirs fraternizing with the leader of another nation?" It made sense, he thought, tightening his grip on the arm still pressing their bodies together. When Naruto didn't respond, Gaara accepted this as a yes.
"It's not that easy," Naruto loosened his grip. He shifted away, pushing the chairs to rest closer to the table. He fiddled with his bandage, trying to make it stick.
"They must know this isn't a casual dalliance," Gaara said. His nervousness escalated when Naruto refused to look at him. Was their romance so quickly finished?
"I told you," Naruto said, "it's not that easy. I was trying to avoid having to tell you." He rested his hands on the back of the chairs, his body hunched slightly like it was this fixture and not his legs keeping him upright.
"Tell me what?" Gaara asked, trying to keep his voice even.
Naruto's shoulders rose with his breath. He wiped his eye with the back of one hand, and Gaara realized he had been hiding his tears. His chest tightened and he took one hurried step forward, but Naruto held up one hand, asking him to wait.
"Tsunade has given me a choice," he said roughly.
Gaara paused, brow furrowing. "Between what?" he asked.
Naruto grimaced in a pained sort of look Gaara wasn't accustomed to seeing. Not even on the battlegrounds. "Tsunade is willing to accept our relationship."
Gaara felt a sense of relief, the tightness in his chest dissipating. He knew it was too early to feel relieved just yet. "But?" he asked.
Naruto turned, looking at the floor. His jaw tightened and his knuckles turned white where he gripped the chair. "I would lose any chance at becoming Hokage." Gaara stared, speechless, at the fallen look on Naruto's face. When he offered no response, Naruto's grip relaxed. "I have until tomorrow to decide."
Gaara closed the gap between them slowly. When Naruto tried to look away from him, he took a page from Uzumaki's book, using one hand to guide the shinobi's face. He pressed a kiss to his mouth, wiping away an errant tear from his cheek.
"I would think there was no decision to be made. The answer is obvious."
Whatever barely contained facade Naruto had tried to maintain crumbled. He looked like a little boy, face scrunched up as the tears started rolling down his face. Gaara caressed his cheek gently, catching some of the falling tears.
"Tomorrow you will tell your Hokage that your decision is made. What was once between you and the Kazekage will be done," Gaara paused, trying to swallow the sudden burning in his throat. "We will both return to what is proper and serve the ones who need us."
"But I..." Naruto stammered and Gaara pressed a hand to his mouth.
"I will not rob you of a dream that existed long before us." His vision grew blurry and it took him a moment to realize why. He blinked away a tear and closed his eyes a moment, willing his body to stay calm. His fingers wrapped in Uzumaki's clothes. He pulled the other shinobi closer, feeling his warmth and reminding himself why this was right.
"It's not fair," Naruto said and Gaara couldn't agree more. He pulled the other shinobi into a hug, burying his face in his chest. How quickly shinobi were to lose the ones they love.
Gaara pulled away and looked up. The other man was still wiping at his face, trying to make himself look a little more dignified despite the red eyes and watery streaks leaving a film across his tan skin. "Give me one night," Gaara asked, feeling his heart already racing, his body on edge when he realized what he was asking.
Naruto frowned, incomprehension evident as he tried to understand what was being asked. Gaara pressed his body closer, his mouth brushing against Uzumaki's jaw, his neck, the shell of his ear. "Please," Gaara whispered, "one night." His hand brushed against Naruto's side. "Before I seal my heart away again."
Naruto gasped when Gaara's fingers snuck beneath his shirt, pressing fingers against his bare skin. His hands grasped Gaara's sides firmly, pulling their bodies closer as he turned his head, their mouths finding each other's in the growing dark.