Section One: Dante's New Job

Chapter Three: Dante the Pizza-Boy!

For a while, Dante was a bit low on money. Nothing was happening at all. All jobs went to Lady or Nero. Since Nero's arrival to the modern world, he's ruled it ever since. And the mercenary industry was no exception. He even tried helping Dante out, albeit, seeing no success.

'Don't worry, Dante. I'll get you a job!' Nero would say. But Dante's reputation for destruction overshadowed his abilities. The customers that Nero sent to Dante ended up trying to do it themselves and their faces were soon on Dante's milk cartons with the word 'MISSING' above them. Dante had fun, laughing at their misfortune while squirting a little milk out of his nose.

But soon the job taking affected Trish and she went crazy. Because she was associated with Dante, Trish was caught in Dante's infamous status. Trish got so annoyed that she even got another job. When Dante found out, he couldn't wait to bombard her with comments until…

'So what's it like to be working on the red light…' Dante began to say when she zapped him in the arm. 'Keep being an asshole and I'll sign you up for a job' she said in her copper uniform.

Yeah, like you can make me do that, Dante thought.

A few more smartass comments and a blackmail concerning Dante 'borrowing' money from Lady later and Dante is in a pizza-boy suit. 'This is stupid, Trish!!' Dante argues, 'We're doing fine!' He points around his not so impressive place and gives Trish in her nurse uniform more reasons on why he should get a job(Being a cop didn't go too well after her boss was like Mark Walberg's character from The Departed and she was spanked by a disorderly drunk. All charges against her were dropped).

'Is that a broken door knob? Is there a crack in that wall?!! Why is there pizza on the ceiling!?!?!!!'

'It's up there because this fly was annoying the crap out of me!!!'

When Dante got home, he was dead tired, but happy to bring home a few boxes of pizza.

'So, how was work?' Trish asked Dante, while cooking food that she got herself and therefore refuses to share with Dante.

'Lame. This guy just acted like an ass because I put olives on his pizza! And my manager just stood there and said 'I'll see what I can do' like a moron and yelled at me for not 'respecting the customers'! I don't even get a new pizza when my pizza is full of olives! Jeez, customers can be such babies…' Trish couldn't help but notice the irony and laughed while dressed as a law student (Her boss was a Gregory House wannabe and she was still spanked by a disorderly patient. The patient got the amputation that he wanted).

The next day, Dante was on delivery. 'Why are there extra-olives on my pizza?! I HATE OLIVES!!! OLIVES!!!!!' one customer yelled while Dante ignored him and drove out of the drive-way, taking his fence down in the process. Another unsatisfied customer who asked for extra olives got none at all. 'Where's the fucking olives!?!!' he said. And as Dante drove his car into the man's brick wall, he realized that he mixed up the pizzas.

Surprisingly, Dante kept his job after that (Through Trish threatening the manager) and after a month, he's cost the Pizza store a thousand dollars in damages and in new pizzas. But the Manager never raised his voice at Dante and whenever a customer gets angry with him, he tells them to 'Go blow yourself!' and spits in their pizza.

After another day at work, Dante got home and with Trish cooking more food. She tried to encourage him to eat healthy and have some of her food but that didn't work well.

'What's that?' Dante said, looking at his dinner plate.

'It's broccoli…' Trish replied as Dante chewed on the broccoli and eventually spat out.

'So how was work?' Trish said in her performing arts outfit (Who would have thought her boss would have been a Denny Crane wannabe and also spanked her?)

'Okay, as usual. My manager crapped on this guy's pizza when he complained to me about this tiny piece of mould on the cheese.' Dante answered as Trish smiled on how fine the job was going, despite Dante serving inadequate food.

Then there was a ring. Trish answers the phone. 'Devil May Cry, how may I help you?'

Trish listens to the demands to the person on the phone.

'It's for you, Dante' Trish calls. Dante leaves his hands out for the phone, concentrating mostly on his pizza. 'Hello, who's this?' Dante rudely says while having pizza in his mouth.

'Why don't you get a plane over to Emery Castle and find out' a dark, anonymous voice says. Dante chews his pizza slowly, thinking 'what a nutjob'

'Why would I fly to a 'haunted' castle to get to know who's bothering my dinner?' Dante asks.

'You call that dinner? Do yourself a favor and dump those pizzas for the food Trish is making,' the voice says.

Dante looked outside, confused.

'Okay buddy, are you stalking me? Cause there's nothing wrong with knocking on my door and having a face-to-face conversation like a normal person.' Dante taunted and put in another slice of pizza.

'But I'm not a normal person.'

'Yeah. I can tell from your poor social skills that you're very special.' Dante taunted some more.

'Yeah, well savor your social skills.'

'What?'

'What's the point of social skills when you have a bounty on your head?'

Dante chewed again. He was beginning to lose patience.

'Who the hell is this?' Dante said on the phone.

'All answers will be found in Emery Castle. Remember your weapons.'

Then the beeping noise that declares the call is finished.

Dante and Trish just looked at each other. At that, Dante suddenly Superman-ripped off his Pizza-boy uniform and left to change in his outfit.

'I'm going for a shower,' Dante said.

Chapter Four: Lady's Dilemma.

Dante had a problem. He needed a way to get from here to Emery Castle, a haunted castle which hasn't seen a sunny day in its years it's been standing near a beach of the coast of Europe. His motorcycle can't go over water and perhaps doesn't even work at all anymore. He has no plane, no boat, no submarine and he sold Pandora to keep paying rent, so his awesome ship can't get him there either.

Lady had a problem as well. She had everything ready to get at Emery Castle but the fact that she's way over her head this time requires help. A day before this all, she gets a call from Nero.

'Hey Lady, I'll need to borrow some money to do a few things.' Nero said.

'Why is that?' Lady asked.

'I'm going to Emery Castle.' He replied. 'I got a call from some guy that says I've got something he needs and that 'all answers will be found in Emery Castle.'

'Weird. You want me to come for help?' Lady asked.

'I was hoping you'd look after Kyrie and my customers for me.' Nero said.

After a few more minutes of details that aren't important, they ended their conversation.

Despite Nero wanting to keep his responsibilities to Lady, she gave them to Trish who changed her name to Eva to avoid being associated to Dante.

When Dante knocked on her door, she was reading the newspaper on the Fernal Base incident, where a military was destroyed by unknown causes. As usual, when Lady gets off her chair to answer the door, Dante kicks down the door.

'Hey, Lady!' Dante started, 'Can I …?'

'No!' Lady interrupted before he said anything else.

'What!? You have no idea what I'm even going to say!!' Dante said.

'Well what do you want?' Lady dared to ask.

'A plane'

Lady scoffed.

'Get out of here Dante.' Lady ordered.

'Look, I'm going to Emery Castle and I'm supposed to meet someone over there. I've got a boun…' Dante argued

'Oh yeah? Nero's gone there too! He might be setting up a surprise birthday party for you!' Lady teased.

Dante's last birthday bash didn't go that good. Trish may have set it up for him, but Nero was still the chick magnet for the night, much to Kyrie's dismay, while Dante sat alone, wearing his birthday hat, watching everyone eating his birthday cake. The majority of the people didn't even know what occasion they were celebrating.

'So what are we partying for?' One girl asked to Trish and another girl.

'That guy's birthday' the Trish replied, pointing to Dante.

'Hmmm, he's kinda cute….' The other girl said, thinking it was Enzo she pointed at.

'Blech….HEY NERO'S ARRIVED!!!!' The other girl said, also thinking of Enzo.

'OH MY GOD NERO, I LOVE YOU!!!!!'

Every girl in a ten mile radius ran up Nero and cheered for him. Trish was tempted to reveal his 'blemish' on his hand so that all the girls in the room would just shut up.

The saddest thing wasn't that nobody cared about Dante at all, but that he was mostly used to celebrating his birthday with Eva and Vergil. And instead of them, he got two replacements, Trish and Nero.

'Okay, now that was a low blow!' Dante said. 'How about the times that the little kids knocked your glasses off and asked why you have retarded eyes?!'

Lady paused. She then hovered her hands around for a throwable object, while keeping her eyes on Dante.

'GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!!!!' Lady shouted as she threw a vase full of water and flowers at Dante.

'Alright, alright.' Dante softly whispered to her 'Just remember, I won't be paying anymore kids to knock off your glasses anymore! BYE!'

And that was his queue to leave, running out before she threw a table at him.

Outside, Dante hears incoherent shouting from inside, while looking at the briefcase full of money that he slyly took from Lady. The shouting stopped. Then it got even worse.

'DANTE, WHERE DID YOU PUT MY BRIEFCASE!!?!?!?!' Dante then ran out of her sight, before she kicked down her door with a shotgun firing in the air.

All that happened because Lady didn't realize that she could have gone with Dante. She ended up going anyway. But with Trish. Trish was read like a book and everyone still knew she was with Dante so since she didn't want to put on her Gloria costume again she joined the party with Lady. Poor Kyrie was left with Enzo in his crappy place.

'Don't worry, I'll keep 'er company' Enzo said.

'Damn right you will! And no funny stuff, like what you did to me!' Trish warned.

'Oh….Let's just pretend it never happened, and don't tell Dante' Enzo whispered. A few weeks ago, a drunken Enzo was coming on to Trish, but ended up with a few zaps to the balls. Funny, because the first thing he said was 'kinky' but after the second, more painful zap came, he knew what the message was.

Meanwhile, Dante rented a helicopter, knowing almost certainly that he'll crash it.

'So where's it ya goin' bud?' the rich millionaire that owned the chopper asked.

'I'm going to some haunted castle'

'Oh yeah... Hey you're that Tony Redgrave man, 'Devil May Cry' right?'

'Yeah, why?' Dante asked.

'You were in a magazine, rating on mercs' he said. 'Man oh man, I can't believe you still do this job'

'What?'

'They rated you with a star outta five! How you get money to rent a copter, I dunno!!!' the fat man said, followed a laugh.

The media usually gets things wrong when it comes to the Merc industry. The Mallet Island episode was credited as Lady's work, Nero's hand is supposed to be 'robotic' and apparently, Enzo is a descendant of Sparda. The media were also told that Dante was one of the worst Mercs in the industry when he is actually widely respected within the mercenary world.

'Hey, what is it that you do for a job?' Dante asked.

'I'm a business man with a Pizza1 Company.'

'Yeah, well why did you lose so much money in your local store?' Dante asked.

The man checked from his sources and found out that he lost hundreds of thousand of dollars in this one store as Dante left the room with a satisfied smirk on his face.

As Lady waits for Trish who is getting her things ready at Devil May Cry, she remembers her job a week ago, where she investigated whether demons had something to do with the Fernal Base attack. She discovered incomplete information on one of the Privates inflictions. She thought of the similarities between his scars and Nero's but dismissed relation between each other because he became one of the thousands of the victims, instead of being able to defend himself.

She stops thinking of all this when she sees something outside where it rains and a black sky should be. A red glow in the night sky. It looks like a star but in a bloody color.

'Trish, are you watching this?' she called to her.

'What?' Trish said

'Look outside.' She told her.

Trish looks outside. The red glow begins to burn. Then it strikes the ground, hard.

'I think it's a gate.' Trish said.

'This should be interesting.' Lady added with a cock to her gun.

The burning glow begins to destroy the surroundings and breaks the glass through Devil May Cry. The glow then calms and shows a fiery ring to the people below.

Demons appear on the ground where a load of skyscrapers should be.

Then the killing begins.

Civilians tasted the scythes and blades of demons, they stood no chance. More and more demons appeared by the minute as the gate would burst a red light, sending more demons to the Human World. A few policemen resisted valiantly, killing a number of demons but ended with a blade in their stomachs. The sky is still red. This place belongs to Hell now, whatever Lady and Trish do, on from then.

Then a large, ten foot demonic lion with red eyes and a burning black flame coat which would be his fur, breaks into Devil May Cry followed by what seem to be his cubs: A horde of black lions with red eyes.

'Argh!!! He isn't here!!! Only a couple of women remain!!!' The demon groaned.

'You looking for Dante? Cause I can give you a message.' Trish commented to the demon, raising Luce & Umbra at his face.

'Hahahahaha!!! Choose your next move carefully. Because I promise it will be your last!'

'We'll see.' Trish challenged.

While this was happening, Dante is in the air and looked back. He saw the red sky that was just east of his sights. Little did he notice that the water began to fog. A purple aura layered above the ocean and looks like it's turning the ocean into ice. Then these strange creatures leapt out, flying at the copter. The creatures were grotesque and were red scaly hybrids of a sort of bird and a demon.

Dante knew what the drill was. He pulled out Ivory and shot through the glass, taking down a few demons and began to spin the chopper so the rear blades sliced at incoming demons. A demon somehow jumped into the plane. They were at least seven feet tall, but this demon stood no chance to Dante when he lodged Rebellion to its chest and threw it at another demon trying to enter the chopper by the broken windshield.

Dante was surprised at how that was the last of them. He'd expect more from the Demon World. But then his surprise was soon laid to rest as a dark blue, scaly tentacle is unleashed from the ocean. Dante barely scraped past the tentacle and then there it was. It rose slowly from the ocean and set the sea as an icy platform. Dante had some time to spare, so he jumped out of the helicopter not caring about whether the chopper crashes or not.

'So you must be the infamous Son of Sparda…' Said the at least thirty foot tall monstrous squid. 'Well, everyone seems to call me infamous for one reason or another' Dante said, grabbing Rebellion and Ivory 'so say hi to Berial for me, 'kay?'

But before Dante blasted him to Hell, the monster buried itself under the icy ocean digging down to escape battle with Dante.

'Hmmmmm….' Dante hummed, disappointed. 'I'll catch you later.'

Dante then noticed that the helicopter is still in the air. Spinning out of control, it'll soon crash to the ground if Dante doesn't act fast. Dante began to sprint to the helicopter, which is 50 feet off the ground and at a football field's distance away from Dante. He won't make it at this rate so he plants Rebellion to the ground and propels himself to the helicopter, taking him airborne. Suddenly, the creatures previously seen before appear from the icy ocean, jump out and try to attack Dante.

He easily disposes of them, slashing at the first that comes to him, then spinning around swinging at the second and jumps on the third, shooting it as it passes. He makes it into the helicopter and manages to kill off a few demons and stop it from crashing when he flips the copter backwards. He looks down and finds that all the demons are dead now and sets off to the Emery Castle.

Okay, so that's the start of Section One. So what do you think? Should I keep writing or is this fic fail-sauce? Doesn't matter about your opinion because I already started writing the next chapter…