Chapter 18
The team is reticent to discuss the exercise with the Colonel during the scenario review. Despite Carlisle's efforts, no answer is more than three words. His complement to Emmett about swimming underwater receives a simple, 'Thank you, sir.' His question to Jacob about failing to escape the isleman is answered with, 'My mistake, sir.'
After an unproductive and tense hour, the Colonel tersely ends the meeting and gives Edward control of the team.
The heaviness in the room dissipates as the senior officer leaves. The team sits in quiet, the fuzzy playback image of the isleman paused on the screen.
With pursed lips, Edward chews the inside of his cheek. Frustration with the Colonel gnaws his gut. He looks around the table, meeting the eyes of each team member before speaking. In muted anticipation, they each return his gaze.
"Today was a clusterfuck," he finally says. The phrase loosens him, and he catches Bella fighting back a grin. "And a lot of that is on me."
Bella tries to interject, but Edward holds up his palm to silence her.
"The fact that I was given bad information isn't your fault," he continues. "Me giving you bad information is mine. I'm sorry I didn't prepare you better."
Hearing Edward's apology makes Bella feel worse. She looks away. Her heart pounds. The team knows none of this is his responsibility, but the fact that he is owning it pains her. He shouldn't have to do it at all.
"It's over though," Edward says, "And you all performed better than I could have hoped for." He motions to the monster on the screen. "I never could have imagined that thing, and you took it on. You are experts. You are my team. I can't do this without you and I promise I won't try." He pauses, weighing appropriateness before simply letting go. "Fuck the Colonel and today's bullshit. Tomorrow we do it right."
Edward's tone does not encourage a response from the team and one isn't needed. They look back at him, satisfaction on their faces.
Meeting his eyes, Bella lets herself smile.
"Is there anything for me?" Edward formally adds the afterthought. The tightness in his chest is gone.
"Thank you," Bella tells him after the rest of the team says nothing.
"We'll meet here tomorrow at zero-nine," Edward says, standing. He positions himself at door.
The rest of the team files around the table to exit. Alice nods to Edward with a knowing wink as she walks past. Jacob stops behind her and extends a hand.
"I'm sorry, sir," Jacob says with a stoic voice.
"Don't be," Edward says, taking his hand. "You did everything you were asked. There's no shame in that."
Jacob sheepishly cocks his head with a grin before joining Alice out in the hall. They disappear, walking closely together.
"Edward," Emmett says, approaching the Captain.
"Vejo," Edward quickly responds.
Emmett lifts his chin, looking down his nose at Edward before walking out.
Alone with Bella, Edward focuses on her. His brow drops and he sighs.
"You didn't have to apologize," Bella tells him. She leans against the table, bracing herself with her arms. Her hair, still slightly damp, dangles down her face in dark threads. The urge to reassure him, hug him, builds in her chest. She tightens her grip on the table's lip.
"I did," Edward finally says. He crosses his arms, glancing up from his downturned face. "I blew up Jacob." He shakes his head. "For no reason."
"For great reasons," Bella says. Her tone shifts, her age and experience becoming obvious in the way she speaks. "You saved me and Emmett. You kept Jacob from suffering a horrible death. Drowning. Digestion." She turns off the room's screen, the grainy isleman replaced with black. "You thought up a way to beat an isleman."
She moves to him, her eyes intense and compassionate. "What you did, the decision you made, was the best you could have done. It was far better than what was expected." Standing close to him, Bella places a deliberate hand on Edward's shoulder. "You did so well."
"Thanks," is all Edward can muster, acutely aware of her touch. His eyes meet hers. All he can think about is the Kill Switch.
"Edward." Her lips tighten and she drops her arm, sliding her hands into her back pockets. "I mean it. There's nothing to be sorry about."
Edward turns into the hall, Bella following, and allows the door to swing shut. Tightening his hand into a nervous fist, he realizes how clammy his skin has become. He leans his back against the wall and watches her, her beautiful, experienced face gazing at him, respectfully.
Unsure of what to say, but not wanting to say goodbye, Bella mimics Edward's stance on the opposite wall. Staring into his tired eyes, a relaxed smile slowly beams across her face. She has every reason to be frustrated about the day, but none of it matters. Not in this moment.
Edward reciprocates the grin, her relaxed demeanor forcing disappointment out of his mind. The hall blurs to gray in his periphery as he focuses on her.
Wordlessly, Bella moves from the wall and heads to her living area. Edward joins her, walking side by side; far enough apart to be professional yet close enough to touch. Nothing is said. The company is enough. Their pace prolongs the inevitable arrival at the door to Bella's quarters.
The enjoyment of the subterranean stroll fades as she unlocks the door.
Silhouetted by the light from her living room, Bella grudgingly stands in the doorway. Her chest tightens, wanting to invite Edward in but knowing she can't. She sighs, shifting her weight to rest against the door frame.
"Thank you," Edward finally says, "For today."
"For what?" Bella says, flattered, confused and guarded.
"For supporting me."
She shakes her head, dismissing the gratitude. "You're our team leader."
The words cut through them both. It's the frustrating reminder of inappropriateness in a relationship that is more than what they are.
"Still," Edward says, fighting disappointment, "You didn't have to."
"No," Bella says, forcing a flirtatious smile.
The urge to kiss her explodes in Edward. To press his lips to hers and wrap his arms tight around her waist. To touch her skin. To run his fingers through her hair. To remove all pretense and loneliness by holding her. The temptation burns, simmering just under his skin. His feels flush, fighting the instinctive force that draws his face closer to hers.
"Thank you, anyway," he says. The words distract from the yearning.
"Tomorrow will be easier," Bella says, professionally fighting her own desires.
"Yeah. I'll see you tomorrow, Bella."
"Okay." She nods. "G'night."
"Night." Edward waits for the door to shut behind her before he walks away. His limbs are numb. Each step lonelier than the last. He turns the corner of the narrow hall and stops, seeing the imposing figure of Emmett standing against the wall.
Wearing a dark tank top and lose jeans, Emmett takes a swig of beer from the bottle in his hand. He watches Edward from the corner of his eyes, his face emotionless. The tiny splash of alcohol is the only noise as he lowers the drink to his side. After a long observant, silence, he opens the door to his quarters.
"Captain," he says as he enters, "You need a drink."