First of all, sorry for not updating yesterday, but we had really nice weather so I spent my time outdoors as much as possible.
Second, thanks so much to the people following and the kind reviews. Nice to know that someone is actually reading what I'm writing.
Third: this goes to fanfiction4you – She was going to choose Dauntless, but actually your question has made me reconsider and I've changed the plot a bit. I won't say anymore, wouldn't want to spoiler anything. Haha.
Oh and this chapter will contain violence, language and rape, just so you're warned
I am greeted by an empty room and make my way quickly to the steps, trying not to draw attention to myself. That plan, however, does not succeed, I not to myself with a sinking heart, as I hear his voice calling out to me.
"Beatrice! Don't even think about avoiding me. Come and get your lazy ass to the kitchen and clean up." Sighing I walk into the kitchen, grab his dishes and start washing them. He remained seated at the table, watching my every movement with unnerving persistence. It makes me feel nervous and jittery and my hands start to tremble with fear of not meeting his expectations.
I fight it, trying not to let him notice the effect he has on me, but without success, as it seems, since he leaves the kitchen shortly after with a satisfied smirk on his face. Not without telling me to meet him in the living room when I'm finished cleaning.
I'm not exactly sure why I was scared of him so much before. It never was that bad before, not even when I was only eight. But then I realize that I will have to lie straight to his face today. Not, that I didn't do that before, but never about something as big and something, he had quite as much interest in. Plus, he was born in Candor and in all this years he certainly hasn't forgotten how to spot a lie.
After cleaning every surface at least three times and making sure that everything is spotless just as often I can't put it off any longer and join Marcus in the living room. I have a terrible feeling in my gut, but find reassurance in the fact that Liz isn't home and can't get hurt at the moment.
My 'stepdad' is seated in the armchair and has a calm and collected demeanor; however, his cold and cruel eyes betray him. I go and stand before him, knowing I won't be allowed to sit.
"So tell me, what was you result?" He asks. I'm not really surprised that he came to the point immediately. He isn't one for small talk.
"A… Abnegation" I stammer out, and want to mentally slap myself. I that didn't give the lie away, then what would?! And, oh wonder:
"You'd really think you learned something and didn't try to lie to me again. You do know that it doesn't work with me, right?" He states, still eerily calm. But I know better than to lull myself into a sense of security and instead I try to convince him. Abnegation was after all my official result, so I'm not directly lying.
"But I am telling the truth! Abnegation was my result. Really." I plead with him. He seems to consider that, his eyes are narrowing, but never lose the focus on me. 'No fidgeting!' I tell myself, in the hope not to give anything away.
"You're telling the truth and yet you're lying. And honestly, you're not really selfless enough for Abnegation, so how can this be your result? Unless…" And suddenly his whole demeanor changes; he turns rigid and loses the calm air that surrounded him. Suddenly, everyone looking could see his true self. Cold und unforgiving. Also his menacing voice is bare of all pretenses when he goes on.
"Unless you're just like your bitch of a mother." Shock and cold fury surge through my veins at this insult of my mother. How dare he?! After everything he's done. I want to scream at him, insult him, beat him, kick him. But I don't. The fear is rooted to deep inside me and I feel paralyzed by the look in his eyes.
"So what were your other results?" He asks, not even the slightest hint of warmth in his voice. I'm even more scared now. He knows about Divergence! That couldn't be good! What's he going to do? Hand me over to the Erudite? Acting nearly purely on instinct now, I try to deflect his suspicions.
"I… other results? How is that even possible?" But all I manage is to gain a slap across the face from him. "Don't play dumb with me. You forget that I saw you grow up, you little whore. Never once were you even remotely selfless enough for Abnegation. Instead, you were too outgoing and too smart and interested in school stuff for your own good. I tried to correct you, I couldn't have any family member, not even my filthy stepdaughter, not be the perfect Abnegation, which would make me proud. But my friendly attempts never worked, so I restored to something that I knew would work. Physical punishments rarely miss the point. Yet, you were even to suborn for that, it seems." And despite his words he starts unbuckling his belt. It seems like he still hasn't given up on beating my divergence out of me.
"Tell me, what was it? Was it Dauntless, like your good-for-nothing-brother; or was it Erudite?" Tobias? Dauntless? What the hell? He is divergent as well? No way! I'm deeply confused and yet relieved. At least I'm not the only one in the family to be abnormal. My relieve, however, only lasts tiny moments until I heat the swish of air and feel the familiar sting of the belt against my back.
I can't suppress a yelp of surprise and pain.
"Answer me!" With each word another impact.
"both" I say hesitantly, deciding it would be of no use to lie. It wouldn't work after all and the pain would only be worse. There was no way I would have anticipated what this little word would do to Marcus' temper. It was spinning out of control, the impacts getting more frequent and more hurtful by the second. I clench my jaw tightly, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of a scream. My vision starts to get blurry and the back of my dress hangs in shreds. I want to give in to the darkness, escape the pain, but Marcus wouldn't let me.
Over the years he has gotten an expert on how far he can take things until I faint. And again he starts shortly before I could succumb to the blissful unconsciousness. He grabs my arm and drags me up the stairs to Tobias' room. It lays unused, gray walls, gray floors, gray desk, gray wardrobe, gray bed. On the last mentioned he tosses me. Despite my hardest efforts I let out a little scream when my severed back hits the mattress. The feeling of something, anything on my raw neck sends excruciating pains trough my whole body.
I writhe in pain and am barely aware of Marcus' actions. But when the light of the afternoon is caught on the blank blade of a dangerous looking knife, I freeze. He smiles evilly as he advances slowly to me, as if giving me time to realize what is going to happen.
When he reaches the bed I flinch away from him, but the pain from my back paralyses me once more. That only makes him smile more.
"Now, now, Beatrice. You know that you deserve that. I am only doing this for you. This is for your own good. You need to be punished for what you are. Divergence is an abomination and needs to be destroyed. Your mother was a hopeless cause, so I did what was necessary, you, however are still young. I have one last try and believe me, there are some things I saved for tonight." He says softly as the slowly drags the knife from the collar of my dress to the hem, his eyes never leaving mine.
His words send chills all over me as the meaning slowly sets in. I feel sick with fear of what is going to happen. In a sudden adrenaline rush I sit up and swing my legs to the floor, trying to escape him and his punishments. This only makes him chuckle and he catches my wrist before I can get to the door. I struggle with him, even managing to free my hand, but he just kicks my legs out from under me and I crumble to the floor. Moments later he is above me, holding me to the ground and overpowering me hopelessly.
He turns me around, so that I'm on my back once more. I let out a wince of pain as my torn flesh makes contact with the wooden floor. He straddles my hips, effectively holding me down and grabs both my wrists in one of his hands, holding them to the floor above my head. I'm rendered completely motionless. I can't help but look up at Marcus and I'm shocked at what I see. All of a sudden his eyes have gotten dark and a little glazed over. I briefly wonder what this is about, but my unasked questions receives an answer when his remaining hand brushes across my bare body. Sometime in the struggle I must have lost the remains of my dress. This unanticipated move makes me want to vomit. In all these years of abuse he has never touched me like this and I was very, very glad for it. This one simple motion makes me feel violated and filthy in so many ways that I'm scared to see what will follow.
"Shsh, Beatrice, I never realized quite how much you have grown. And what can I say? I'm still a man, a widower to be exact and it has been two years since my manly needs have been satisfied. But they will have to wait for a little time longer, I suppose. We are, after all, on a mission." The bile rises in my throat when it dawns on me what is going to happen this evening.
I panic, struggle again against the calloused hands that are holding me down, scream at him that this is sick and that he can't do that, but to no avail. He just chuckles.
"If you just were a bit more selfless, I wouldn't have to do that. And to be honest, I never planned on having sex with you, but with you lying under me, the way you do, that has sparked certain… desire in me. Now, we don't have all night so let's get to business." He gets up, but places both of his hands on my waist, preventing me from getting away. Then he hoists me over his shoulder and throws me on the bed once more. He grabs both my hands and before I can even so much as blink, he has them bound to the bedpost.
He takes position again on my hips and looks down to me with a stern expression in his cold eyes.
"Listen to me, you are going to choose Abnegation tomorrow and you won't bring shame on my family. Have I made myself clear? You are going to place everyone's needs before yours and do so gladly. You will forget about your interests, as those are selfish. Am I clear?"
To make the urgency of his words clear, he brings his knife down on my stomach. The cuts me is inflicting are more and deeper than ever before and I can't help myself and start to scream out at the pain. I feel the blood flowing out and wonder briefly if this is it. If he is going to kill me, just like he did with my mom. I pray that my sister will be spared that fate and somehow finds a way to be save. I wish I could have done more to protect her, to keep her save.
But once again, right at the verge of unconsciousness, he stops. He lays the knife down on the bedside table and looks down at me again, admiring his handiwork. I am in too much pain and loosing too much blood to really register anything, but I am aware just how much I'm at his mercy. If he doesn't let me treat these wounds he inflicted both on my back and my stomach I might just bleed out beneath him. That at least would spare me everything that is yet to come.
However, my will to live also was seldom stronger. I guess I needed to be brought to the verge of death to once again value my life. And it is this realization that makes the next words come out of my mouth.
"Please, stop. And let me treat the cuts at least. Otherwise is will bleed out right here." I hate myself for begging with him for my little, useless life, but I really don't want to die and I really don't want to have Liz come home to yet another corpse. She has seen enough death for her thirteen years on this earth. He seems to know exactly what I'm feeling and also that I'm dangerously close to my breaking point, with all my emotional stress and now the added physical pain. So he sneers and tells me only, if I promise not to try to escape and if afterwards I do everything he tells me. I hesitate for a moment and do he adds "If you go against me, I will just complete my plan with little Elisabeth. And you wouldn't want that now, would you?"
I sigh, defeated and nod my assent. So he gets off me and unties my wrists.
I feel a lot better, when I exit the bathroom again. I have succeeded in stilling the bleeding and wrapped gauze around it, as well as my back. The pain is still nearly unbearable, but a least I don't feel like dying anymore.
That better feeling evaporates at once, when I see Marcus sitting on the bed, wearing nothing but boxers. He pats the bed next to him, indicating me to come and sit down with him and I comply warily. I know what he plans with me, so I wonder about the sitting part.
"Beatrice, I know you're wondering why I want to talk first, but you see, I have a deal to propose to you. You see, I have some needs that desperately need to be taken care of. If you were to transfer, it would fall to your little sister to do so, but that would be fairly sick, seeing as she is my daughter, don't you agree? So here is what I propose: You stay in Abnegation and behave like it. You will take care of my needs and do everything I tell you. Everything. In exchange I keep your little secret and that of your brother private and promise you not to touch Elisabeth again. Deal begins tonight. What do you say?"
He doesn't really need to wait for my answer, he already knows that I would never let harm come to my siblings and rather take it myself. But he is cruel and he wants me to accept verbally, to show me once more who is in power. So I nod and say quietly "Deal."
At that he pushes me down and straddles my hips once more, not bothering to tie my hands, knowing exactly how defeated I am. I shut my eyes, trying to block everything that is happening out, as his lips crash down on mine forcefully. His tongue demands entrance to my mouth and I hesitantly grant it. It is repulsing and I hate every single second of it. I'm shocked and disgusted at the fact that this right here is my first kiss. Tears start to roll down my face and I don't have the energy to stop them.
His hands wander to my breasts, kneading them brutally. It is a strange sensation. It hurts like hell and it's surely leaving bruises, but on the same time, no one ever has touched me there before. But that makes the whole thing even sicker. When he is done there, he grabs one of my hands and guides it into his pants, making me hold his errection and stroke it. He barks out little commands like "Harder!" or "Faster!" and pants heavily. Suddenly his hand is inside my own underwear, cupping my private area. I gasp at his touch, shocked by its suddenness. That makes him lose all inhibitions and he tears my undies into shreds, swats my hand away and pulls himself out of the pants. He aligns himself at my core and with a hard thrust enters me.
It hurts. More and different than any pain he has inflicted on me before. It hurts on so many levels and I cry out, a little more with every violent thrust. He is so big, too big for me and I'm not ready for him. His lips come crashing down on mine again. Judging by the sounds he is making, he is enjoying himself, but all I feel is agony. I never knew it would hurt that much. I'm relieved when he is finally done and pulls out of me.
He simply puts on his clothes again, leaving me on the bed, tears still streaming endlessly down my face. When he is nearly done, he turns around once more.
"Well, wasn't that nice? I'm looking forward to spending more time like this with you. But clean up here, will you? It looks rather messy." And then he is out of the door. I just close my eyes, utterly exhausted and defeated.
Ok, that was longer than anticipated. I hope it wasn't too violent. I know that characters might be a little OOC, but given the circumstances, it felt the logical thing to do.
Well, tell me what you're thinking.