A/N: Thank you to all the reviewers so far I hope you continue to read the story and enjoy it. Though I must put out a warning this won't be a royai story, I really like to use Riza as Roy's best friend, especially in this case I've put him in.

"Down on Cyprus Avenue

With a childlike vision leaping into view

Clicking, clacking of the high heeled shoe

Ford & Fitzroy, Madame George

Marching with the soldier boy behind…" Madame George by Van Morrison

The sun was rising over the city of Central; its bright rays gleamed through closed curtains and blinds to wake up the residents of the metropolis. That didn't leave out Roy Mustang, who pulled the covers over his face to keep the light from reaching his sleepy eyes. He flipped onto his chest when a pain seemed to jolt through his body. Annoyed, he threw the blankets off and just decided to give in, he had work soon anyways, and if he was late again he might just wind up in a morgue instead of the head of the nation. He rubbed his eyes, stretched, and motioned to step down from bed. He made his way to the bathroom and was in for quite the shock.

He gazed in the mirror, like he did every morning, but this time the same face wasn't staring back. This face was rounder, eyes wider, and lips fuller, not to mention the two large lumps that appeared on his chest. Roy took his hands and ran them down his body, instead of finding a straight figure, curves were now in place and his muscles were no longer so defined.

A woman's scream was heard throughout the neighborhood. Roy's next-door neighbors couldn't even help but wake up startled by the shriek. "Geez, we know the guy's got a good sex life, but can he at least tell his girlfriends to keep it down." One of the neighbors said as he rolled back in bed and put a pillow over his face.

"What's going on, what happened to me?" Roy screamed out looking in the mirror as a softer, higher pitched voice came out from his mouth. He quickly covered it with his now dainty hands and shook his head furiously. "I can't go into work looking like this!" She paced around the bathroom trying to come up with some kind of solution. "I know I'll just call in sick, maybe I can call in female. No, Mustang that's stupid just say you have laryngitis, that way I don't even have to speak." She rushed over to the phone and dialed the number for work, when Riza's voice answered on the other line.

"Hello this is Col. Roy Mustang's office how can I help you?

Roy cleared his throat and prepared for the act of a lifetime to his lieutenant. "Yes, hello Hawkeye this is Roy I've seem to have come down with a case of laryngitis and can't come into work today." He whispered out, throwing in a few fake cough's to make it sound even more authentic. If their was one thing Roy could do it was lie, and quite effectively if that.

"Okay sir I hope you feel well soon." She said and the phone connection died. Roy felt relieved; she had dodged a major bullet, literally, from his lieutenant. She whipped the sweat from her brow and pulled out a number of alchemy books hoping to find an explanation, or better yet a cure for her current condition.

Meanwhile at the base Riza Hawkeye was grabbing her coat and making her way to Roy's house. She knew the man wasn't really sick, she had heard better acting on a daytime soap opera. This time she was going to catch him in the act of faking ill and give him a good scolding, or pistol-whipping which ever seemed better.

"Where are you going?" Havoc said as he got up from his chair.

"I'm going to see Roy he says he has fallen ill and I want to see if theirs anything I can do to ease the pain."

Havoc snorted out a laugh at the woman's statement. "How are you going to ease the pain when you're going to cause it. You think the chief's faking it huh."

"Well taking into consideration his behavior and track record of lies I would count it as a high probability lieutenant. Oh, in my absent Warrant Officer Falman will be in charge."

Havoc's cigarette fell out of his mouth. "What, Falman? I have the second highest rank here I should be in charge, or at least Breda."

Riza gave him a blank stare. "Yes, this is true but I don't trust either of you in this situation. So if you both stopped acting like children maybe you'll be treated with the respect your rank demands."

"Hey, what can I say the colonel's had a bad influence on me." Havoc said as Breda just nodded his head in agreement. The woman sighed and took her leave, one day she would meet respectable colleges.

The drive to Roy's house was somewhat satisfying to her, finally to catch him red handed. Every time she would lecture him on his behavior he would always insist on proof that he had done the deed in question. This time the cards were all in her favor, Mustang was finally going to get what he deserved for his lax behavior. She pulled the car up to his house and slammed the door behind her.

"There had to be something, anything on what's happened to me!" Roy said as she skimmed through several books. That's when she heard her doorbell chime, and she panicked. "I can't answer the door, maybe they'll just go away." But, the doorbell just continued to hum throughout the house, insisting its owner answer the door. Roy breathing became somewhat heavy waiting for who ever it was to leave, then the door knob started twisting open, she forgot to lock the door. In her panic state she ran upstairs while the front door slammed shut.

"Where is he?" Riza said as she looked around the first floor of the house. There was evidence he had been down there; books were strung across the floor an open beer can sat half full next to the sofa. She decided to wander up stairs, trying a few doors until she got to his bedroom. She had hit the jackpot, completely covered by his bed sheets Roy Mustang literally sat there hiding from her, like a child. She tip toed over to the bed and yanked the sheets off her commanding officer, but the sight wasn't what she was expecting. Under the sheets laid a woman, with short black hair and an obvious Xingesse background. She looked strangely like Roy, almost too much. Riza's mouth hung open when she realized exactly who this mystery woman was.

"…Roy"

"Riza, uhh, well I told you I wasn't feeling well and…" Roy's eyes started to well up. "I…I don't know what happened I was sleeping and I just woke up like this! What…am I going to do? I'm going to be the laughing stock of the military!" Roy sat up and put her hands to her face, covering her eyes. Riza finally got a good look at Roy; she was pretty, in fact quite beautiful. Things were going to be quite awkward when Roy came back to work; things were tough for women in the military to start with. She was going to need help; she picked up Roy's phone and began to dial his number.

A/N: Okay good reviews inspire me so do your duty! And yes I'm evil, find out who "he" is in the next chapter.