Disclaimer: I don't own Star Wars or any of these characters.

Luke and Leia had just left home on Monday morning and were heading out to the bus stop when Han drove past their house in his junker of a car.

"Hop in," he called to them.

"You need to stop the car!" Leia howled at him.

"The brakes are bad, the best I can do is slow down!"

Han was able to slow to about ten miles per hour. Luke and Leia ran down the street to catch up with the car, and finally vaulted through the rear passenger side door of the rusted out station wagon.

"Why do you drive this thing?" Luke asked, panting as he buckled his seatbelt.

"Thing? This isn't just a thing, it's the Millennium Falcon!"

"How'd it get the name?" Luke didn't trust anybody who named their cars, and for good reason: most of them were total freaks.

"It's a year 2000 model and has an engine as strong as a falcon!" Han roared as he sped up again. "Just wait until I put her in hyperdrive!"

Luke and Leia were silent as both of them stared at him from the backseat.

"Cruise control," Han explained as he drove on.

Driving with Han was quite an experience. Han slowed to about ten miles per hour again just outside of school, and kept slowing down until he was able to eventually come to a complete stop. Unfortunately, where he stopped was about three blocks past the school, so Han, Luke, and Leia had to walk three blocks back after getting out of the car.

"I have an idea," Han was explaining to the Skywalker twins as they walked. "You see, I was over at Jabba's house really early this morning, doodling on his sidewalks, and-"

"Wait a second." Leia's eyes went wide. "What were you doodling?"

"Just like you told me to, Leia. I wrote that he was a big fat cow with no morals. JABBA HUTT IS A BIG FAT COW WITH NO MORALS. I wrote that all the way down his front sidewalk until my stick of chalk was just a tiny stub."

Luke stared at his sister. "Leia, you told him-"

"I didn't think he would actually do it," Leia muttered to her brother low enough so that Han couldn't hear. "You have to remember who we're dealing with here." Luke nodded.

"Anyway, I'm hiding in the neighbors' shrubs, and this girl comes out in her underwear. I recognized her, I think she's one of the cheerleaders. Anyhoo, she grabs the hose, rolls her eyes, and starts washing off the chalk, when Jabba appears in the doorway. He yells at her not to step on any cracks as she's washing down the sidewalk."

Luke and Leia looked at each other for a moment, trying to figure out what this meant.

"Don't you see?" Han asked, grinning from ear to ear. "Jabba is superstitious! You know, 'step on a crack, break your mother's back?' That's something we can use against him! Luke, he's in your English class, right?"

"Right."

"When's he giving his speech?"

"Tomorrow."

"Oooh, that's fantastic! Maybe we can kidnap a black cat and let him loose in Mrs. Lucas' room!"

Luke stared at Han, dumbfounded. "There has to be an easier way."

"I agree," Leia said. "How about we do some research on common superstitions, and pick one that'll be easy to pull off in Mrs. Lucas' class?"

"Research?" Han asked blankly. "Will that involve going to the library?"

Leia sighed. "Han, all you have to do is go to the library, sit down at a computer, Google search 'common superstitions,' and click on a website that comes up. I'll even help you do it."

"Do you have a study hall?"

"Third period."

Han thought. "Biology. Damn." He sighed. "Oh, well. I'll just have to skip. I'll get Chew to take notes for me."

Luke vaguely wondered how good Chew's biology notes were.

Luke's day turned out to be pretty good, considering Mark was home sick after suffering an asthma attack the day before. But Luke started to shake again as he entered Mrs. Lucas' room for third period English class. He slid into his normal seat and took a deep breath.

"Feeling okay, Luke?" Robby Krueger whistled as he headed back to his seat. Luke and Robby were in the Robotics Club together.

"Fine," Luke shrugged, trying to keep calm.

From across the aisle, Marilou—who sat on Luke's right—passed him the rest of her Sprite. "It isn't ginger ale, but it might help you. You don't look well," she said sympathetically to her best friend's brother.

"Thanks," Luke said, and took a sip of the soda. She was right, it wasn't ginger ale, but it still made him feel a lot better.

Mrs. Lucas was taking attendance. Knowing Luke was Mark's best friend, she asked him where he was.

"At home sick. He had an asthma attack," Luke told her.

"Poor Mark. And where's Jason?"

Luke turned around to the back corner, where Jabba Hutt usually sat. His chair was empty as well. Luke knew he had seen him earlier, so Jabba was probably skipping. Again.

"Who cares," mumbled the kid who sat behind Luke.

"He's such as ass," whispered the girl to Luke's left. Luke's heart swelled; Mark had been right. Nobody liked Jabba.

Nobody had an answer for Mrs. Lucas, either. So class went on as usual.

"We don't want to play with a superstition that's too obscure," Leia was telling Han in the library. "Like, a black cat crossing your path? Everybody knows that one. But a bird flying through a window will bring you bad luck? That'd be easy to pull off. Marilou has a parakeet we would be able to use, and someone could just slip it in through the window. But does he know that superstition?"

"I have no idea," Han agreed. "No, you're right. Let's stick with something simple, like breaking a mirror. We'll have him accidentally break a mirror right before his big speech."

"How?" asked Leia, baffled. "Set it on his chair, so he'll break it when he sits down at the start of the period? He'll move it before he sits down!"

Han thought for a long moment. "I have it!" he hissed. "Do you have one of those small mirrors, like girls use to put on makeup with?"

"A compact mirror? Yeah. Why?"

"We'll slip it under a leg of his chair. The moment he sits down, the leg of his chair will crush right down on the mirror, and it'll smash into a thousand pieces! It'll be such a small mirror, he won't even notice it as he's sitting!"

Leia stared at him. "That's an excellent plan. Now, why can't you put that much effort into your schoolwork? You'd be getting straight As."

"Why would I want to put any effort into my schoolwork? When am I ever going to use this crap?" Han responded, baffled.

Up Next: Darth Booby Traps the Yard