Inspired by a tumblr post I made about Robin calling Regina by her title rather than her name in Season 4. Angst fest. Disclaimer: less edited/polished than my longer fic. Please leave a review!
As the temperature drops in Storybrooke, Regina, Snow, and Charming call a meeting at Granny's to discuss the situation. When Robin arrives, he ends up just behind Regina as he prepares his bow and arrow.
"What is it?" he asks. She's so still, she knows it's unlike her, but what truly gets to her is the total nonchalance of the question, as he goes about the business of stringing a bow and checking his arrows for imperfections. He has asked that question before, but not like this, never like this, his concern for her has never been about polite and empty chatter.
She looks up, and for a second she knows the horror and heartbreak shine in her eyes. It feels like the version of herself she'd been with him never existed. He's acting like he'd never seen it, never seen her, he's distancing himself from that woman, that person, denying her very existence.
"Nothing, Outlaw," she bites out, "get back to your work," and she sweeps past him, calling the group to the meeting.
Robin nods once at Regina as the meeting concludes. "Your Majesty," he says, sweeping past has without a second glance. Regina turns to face him, stunned, and Snow, beside her, follows her gaze.
Regina's shoulders crumple, her elbow digging into her stomach as she uses her arms to try to hold herself together, and Snow's heart goes out to the woman as she stares after the man she loves, any response dead on her lips. The same lips that had kissed Robin's, and he has forgotten, but she has not. Regina clamps down her reaction, and runs, hurries out the door, not bothering with her coat. The door rattles as it slams shut behind her.
Snow catches up with her about halfway to her home, just at the edge of Storybrooke's Main Street.
"Go away," Regina growls when she feels Snow's presence.
"No."
"Go away, Snow."
Regina has stopped walking, and Snow takes a step closer. "I'm not going anywhere."
Regina whips around then, and tears, so many tears shine in her eyes. Snow reaches her arms out, drags Regina to her for a hug, and though Regina's arms push back a little she ultimately allows it. It shocks Snow, she's crying, audibly, in front of her. It's been barely a few days since Emma and Hook and Marian's return, but Snow begins to understand how suddenly removed from human contact Regina must have been, how much she needs somebody to come find her, to chase after her.
Snow lets her go, and she's learned enough not to make a big deal about Regina's openness, but the woman's still crying with days of pent up despair and she has to know, "Has he done that before? Called you..."
Regina takes a ragged breath through quiet tears. "No." Regina's arms still grip her stomach as if to hold herself back, to punish herself for her reaction. "Once more," she relents, "when I ran into them at the store."
"Regina," Snow sighs.
Their eyes meet then. "It's like I never existed for him," Regina whispers. My fault she thinks I'm the one who always told him to call me Your Majesty in the Enchanted Forest. I'm the one who pushes people away with cruelty, and why should he be any different? She grits her teeth. "I am such a fool. Perhaps I imagined it to be more than it was."
Snow shakes her head immediately, reaching for Regina's hand and thinking better of it. "No, you didn't. We all saw you, Regina, you didn't imagine anything, and you're not a fool."
Tears begin to slip down Regina's cheeks again. "I want to be alone," she asks, her voice low and gravelly, "please."
Snow's brow knits together, and for a moment Regina fears she will see pity, but it does not come. "All right." Snow vows to herself she will visit more, will bring Henry and perhaps Neal. Robin may be pushing away the woman he fell in love with (they are so alike, Snow thinks, Robin and Regina, they both push and push and push when they're hurting) and somewhere inside of her Snow understands because she's done it herself by taking that memory potion when she and Charming could not be together, but she will not let Regina forget that others know her as Regina and not the Queen. "But you're not. You're not alone."
Henry stays with her that night; Snow sends him with a kiss to the forehead and a brief, "she's had a rough day."
"Mom?" he says when she answers the door, her eyes red. And as he hugs her, she thinks Mom is the best name she's ever had, and the only one that matters. Others have seen the person behind the title, she believes that, and he is not going to take that away from her.
When Robin returns to the diner in the morning, he approaches Snow as she sits with David and Neal in one of the booths. "Please allow me to go and apologize," he begs, and there are tears shining in his eyes, too.
Snow and David share a look, and she cannot help being the tiniest bit brutal with him. "For what? You can break her heart or not, but she's certain you're gone for good anyway, Robin. You don't need to lord it over her like a joke."
At least he looks properly horrified at the idea, and he rushes to tell her, "That's not what I'm—It isn't a joke to me, I swear it's not." But Snow is right, he's being horridly selfish, trying to fool himself into feeling distant from her, and she is being selfless, letting him go, but he's not blind and he's seen how much it's been hurting her.
David takes a breath, "You do understand you're making her feel like it wasn't real, like she just imagined the weeks where she was the happiest she's been in half a lifetime?"
"I-" there is nothing for him to say. It seems to Snow that in his own suffering, he has tried to forget how much it would hurt Regina, too. He looks tortured, and Snow feels a jolt of sympathy for him, he's in an impossible situation.
"Talk to her, then, we can't stop you. But please don't make it worse than it already is."
Regina starts at the knock on her door.
"You left your coat, Regina," he says lamely when the door swings open, offering the garment up to her. She stiffens, holds her shoulders high, lets her eyes cloud over with indifference, and she can do it to him, too.
"I am your Queen, Outlaw, and you will do well not to address me in such a casual manner."
She ignores the offered coat, turns on her heel and goes to shut the door in his face. He catches her hand, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Regina, please."
She spins harshly to face him, ripping her hand away. Something in his eyes gives her pause.
"I know it's easier," she begins, looking at the ground. "I know it's easier, to be cold when you're hurting, believe me, I know." She meets his eyes then, and they are angry, strong, desperate, broken. "But I never thought that you would do that to me." She shakes her head. "I suppose it's only fair."
"No, no no no it's not, Regina, it's not fair, I should never have—no one has the right to treat you like that, least of all me, I—" He takes her hand again. This time she lets him, and as his hand warms hers the frigid air becomes more noticeable against her simple clothes (not his skin on hers, she tells herself, it is not that that is making her feel weak) and she shivers. He lifts her coat off his arm and drapes it around her shoulders, tugging it around her at her neck.
"I need time, Regina, and it is not fair to ask you for that, I know, but please, please know that I have not forgotten. I do not think that it was nothing, it was not nothing to me." His hands finally leave her, and she replaces them with her own, pulling the coat around her. She brushes the tear on her cheek away angrily. He reaches out a hand to help her without thinking about it, and she freezes as their hands brush. "I swore to myself I'd be the one person to never make you feel like this," he sighs.
She takes a breath. "Go home, Robin."
"But I—"
She lifts a shaky hand to his face. "If time is what you need, then you have it. Go home. Figure out what it is you want." She takes another breath, and it hurts to say it but it's what he needs to hear, "And until you do, stay away from me."
He bites his lip, nods, brushes his thumb against her cheek once more, and finally pulls away. They both feel the loss.
"Regina," he breathes before he turns away, just her name. She has never been anyone else to him, and she never will be.
