Chapter 23

I sat that night not really listening to the speeches about us. About love, connection and unbreakable bonds. I could only think of Edward. My father stood up and made a speech about how he couldn't be happier with his future son in law and how he plans many fishing holidays. Renee spoke of how when i was kidnapped i thought of Jacob to get me through, untrue, I thought of Edward. Rosalie and Alice stood and made a combined speech about how much of a sister I was to them, Jasper and Emmet worded a similar speech. The nights celebrations went on without a hiccup, i smiled and laughed and clapped in all the right places. I thanked the people that needed to be thanked and grinned through the pain of my secret suffering. As the night drew to a close i peered out the window and into the stars and wondered where my true love was right now.

***

June 5th

'Message received from Edward Cullen: I am sorry Bella, I wish you and Jacob the best. Have a happy life.'

SMASH

I threw my phone against the wall and it broke into a million pieces. Jasper and I were the only ones home and he quickly ran into my room to see what the noise was. I sat curled up on my bed sobbing into my pillow when he came over and placed his hand on my shoulder.

'Edward?' he asked. I turned to him in surprise.

'How did you know?' I asked now falling into his open hug. He rubbed my back slowly.

'I think secretly we all know, even Jacob,' he said quietly.

'I don't know what to do,' I sobbed staining his shirt.

'Alan Watts once said Never pretend to a love which you do not actually feel, for love is not ours to command.I think that's a pretty wise quote, don't you?' He said now making it so we faced.

'I have to marry Jacob, I can't break my promise to him,' I said sadly.

'Bella, Jacob loves you and he would want to see that you're happy. Conquer your fears Bella, you have to now or you're going to end up in a loveless marriage always wondering what if,' He said as he pulled away and walked out the door. After sitting and pondering for a moment I pulled my pad out and starting frantically writing my vowels. I Love Jacob Black, I kept chanting to myself. Frustrated i threw my pencil the same place where my phone met its demise. I sighed and walked over to pick it up when I saw Emmet's head poke around the corner.

'Hey Bells,' He said cheerfully. I smiled and invited him in. 'I hear your having issues with you vowels, need a hand?' he asked. I nodded.

'I have already written my vowels for Rose,' he said quietly.

'How did you do it Em?' I asked feeling hopeless. He pointed to his chest.

'I wrote from my heart, I mean the head helped a little, but my heart told me what to do. It guided me to where i needed to go,' he smiled and sat on the end of my bed while i paced back and forward.

'Emmet, have you ever doubted that you and Rosalie are supposed to be together?' I asked still pacing.

'Not ever, not once. I couldn't imagine my life without her, she completes me. I would only be a half without her,' He said smiling. 'Are you getting cold feet?' he asked gingerly. I stopped pacing and faced him.

'No, i'm not, just another option has made itself available,' I said clearing my throat as i finished. Emmet raised an eyebrow.

'This wouldn't have anything to do with my little brother would it?' he asked almost angrily. I plopped down next to him on the bed and nodded. He let out a long sigh.

'He has his timing doesn't he!?' he said now lying down. I nodded.

'The problem is, I love him, but i love Jacob and Jacob has always been here for me,' I said catching a tear. Emmet sprang back up.

'Not as much as you'd think!'

*Flashback*

Emmet POV

I looked around the room hoping that Bella would dart out somewhere and yell surprise. I looked over at Edward who had frantically ordered the search to continue no matter what; even if we found a body he would want to find the killer. My brother was being consumed by a girl he did not have any promise to. I heard a loud sigh and turned to see Jacob slump over onto a rock. I assumed he was sad and i went to sit by him. I placed an arm around his shoulder as a form of comfort but he shook it off.

'When are they going to accept she is gone, dead, never to be seen again!' he said angrily. 'False hope is sickening, we need to move on,'

'Until there is proof she is gone they will never move on, I will never move on. How could you say that you would?' I asked. He sighed and stood up.
'We are fighting a lost cause, we are idiots if we think delicate little Bella would ever survive a monster!' he shouted. I pulled him back down as Carlisle restrained Edward and Jasper calmed Charlie.

'She is not a lost cause you dumbass, she is a fighter!' Edward yelled.

*end flashback*

Bella POV

'Wow, he said that?' I asked and Emmet nodded.

'Carlisle had to restrain Edward, it was easier to calm Charlie down. I know my little brother is trouble, he always does this, but Bella, I've never seen him like this. He really is in love, his heart truly belongs to you,' Emmet sat up.

'I suppose it doesn't matter now though, you're getting married and he is flying back to Alaska to become a doctor like Carlisle,' he said sighing. He stood up and kissed me on the head.

'We'll support you no matter what Bells,' and with that he left me sitting alone in my bedroom. I picked my pen off the floor and sat down again, trying to listen to my heart.

'Jacob when I'm with you,
eternity is a step away,
my love continues to grow,
with each passing day.

This treasure of love,
I cherish within my soul,
how much I love you...
you'll never really know.

You bring a joy to my heart,
I've never felt before,
with each touch of your hand,
I love you more and more.

Whenever we say goodbye,
whenever we part,
know I hold you dearly,
deep inside my heart.

So these seven words,
I pray you hold true,
"Forever And Always,
I Will Love You.'

I had finally written my vowels. I carefully folded the piece of paper up and placed it in my quaint handbag ready for tomorrow. I snapped it shut knowing that it was not Jacobs name i wished written up the top, rather that of my lost love Edward Cullen.

****

So what will our dear heroine do???? Review... ;)