Chapter Twenty: Day Three, Night
Meredith had not seen Cristina since that morning.
And it was starting to scare her.
It seemed that she was purposely avoiding her, which was very un-Cristina-like because it was an unspoken thing that they just did not avoid each other's 'person'.
It always hurt too much whenever they did…
Also they always had to nearly do the gross thing of having to hug and make up, but thankfully they hadn't been desperate enough to only do it a few times.
But Meredith was worried.
She had been dwelling on it when she had watched Gloria all day and running her labs but towards the end of the shift she started asking fellow interns and random doctors if they had seen her.
Although she had not been desperate enough to ask help from Derek.
But Meredith finally ran into Dr Burke again after he had completed another successful operation.
Meredith had deliberately watched him from the gallery to know exactly when he finished so she could interrogate him.
But to her dismay Cristina hadn't even been in the gallery watching Burke like she usually did if she wasn't assisting him in surgery.
She had missed Burke perform a double bypass…
Very un-Cristina-like.
She's seems to be doing a me…
But now Burke was standing in front of her and Meredith immediately blurted out, "Have you seen Cristina?"
Burke saw the worry on Meredith's face, but he had to follow the promise that Cristina had made him take only a few hours ago in the on-call room.
Sighing deeply, he moulded his expression to look confused and he shook his head.
"Sorry Grey, I haven't seen her since this morning."
Meredith's heart sank and her face fell so sharply that Burke immediately felt guilty at lying to her.
But he honoured the promise he had made to his girlfriend.
"Maybe she is in the locker room still." He suggested helpfully but Meredith shook her head in dismay.
"No, she never stays in the there for too long after a shift."
He nodded, yes that was true.
Looking thoughtful, he pitched, "Have you asked her attending for the day?"
Meredith swallowed heavily, looking slightly hesitant, "No, I didn't ask Dr Shepherd."
Burke's immediately looked at her with understanding, "Well that's fair enough then…"
Meredith looked at the floor and nodded, but Burke continued, "Even though he may have an idea as to where she may be."
Quickly looking at him with a blank expression, she shook her head and said, "No. She has probably gone home now. I'll try and catch up with her tomorrow I guess…"
She looked so hurt and sad that Burke felt his allegiance to Cristina's promise slightly waver.
"She…might have already left." He said with a slight tone of truth in his voice that Meredith immediately caught on to.
So she is definitely avoiding me…
Her expression changed from hurt to a blank one and she said in a toneless voice, "Thank you Dr Burke. I will try and see her tomorrow then."
She began to walk off without waiting for his dismissal when suddenly a thought occurred to her.
Turning around she looked back at Burke down the corridor and saw that he was still watching her.
"Tell her I said hi." She said with a half smile.
Burke smiled gently back at her and nodded slowly, "I will do that Dr Grey."
Meredith smiled fully at him when she turned back around and began walking away.
Against her better judgement, Meredith made her way to the surgical board to see if Derek was still there in surgery.
When she reached it and saw that no he wasn't, but he was on-call, Meredith felt her stomach sink slightly. She didn't want to see him after the 'elevator incident' but she knew that it was necessary if was to try and find out about Cristina.
At least she knew that Derek would help her…she hoped.
It did not take her long to find him wandering through the recovery rooms that patients were place where they could be monitored until they woke up or they had they had to be under close observation if it had been a major surgery until they could be cleared to go back to their room.
But she found him sitting in a chair next to the bed of a patient whom had had an aggressive brain tumour but Derek had managed to successfully remove it all.
Unfortunately the man whom he had operated on didn't want to wake up just yet.
Meredith silently walked into the room and studied his face with a thoughtful expression.
When they had been together, she had always sat with him after a surgery if he was worried and she had been his support and comfort.
But now she could do neither…well not physically anyway.
"He looks like he has stabilised." She suddenly said and instantly Derek looked at her with a tired smile but his eyes were sparkling when he focussed on her.
Sighing deeply he looked back at his patient and nodded slightly, "Yeah, he was lucky he made it through the surgery."
Meredith nodded and waited as Derek slowly turned in his chair and looked at her with a quizzical expression, "What do you need Meredith?"
She raised her eyebrows at the question and had to bite her tongue from spilling forth lots of different answers as to what she needed, but instead she sighed deeply and asked, "What time did Cristina leave today?"
Derek looked at her in confusion then looked away, thinking really hard, "She left when her shift finished an hour ago."
Meredith felt her throat catch in her throat but she swallowed heavily and replied gratefully, "Thank you Dr Shepherd."
Derek nodded and smiled at, "Is there anything else you need Dr Grey?"
Meredith heard the humour in his voice and how it melted over her and caused her heart to race.
Is there anything else you need Meredith…yes Derek you silly man I do!
Keeping her thoughts to Meredith plastered a smile to her face and shook her head, "No thanks Derek. That's all I wanted to ask."
His face slightly fell but he quickly hid it with a quick smile, "Ok then. I'll see you tomorrow."
Meredith nodded, turned and began walking away, whilst being incredibly aware of Derek's blue eyes following her out of the room.
1 1 1 1
I'm not going to go home tonight…I need a night alone…
Not really knowing where she was walking to in the hospital, Meredith some how made her way to the intensive care unit and into the room where her favourite premature baby was.
Rosie was still where Meredith had last seen her two nights ago and it hadn't seemed like her health status had changed much, but Meredith saw to her shock that there was no one there watching and observing the fragile baby.
Immediately walking out of the room and going to the intern register, Meredith wrote her name down to be on-call for the few hours and when she had finished she grabbed Rosie's chart and walked back to Rosie's room, pulling up a chair next to the humidicrib.
Gazing through the clear case at the baby, Meredith felt her heart flood with warm.
She was so happy to see Rosie still alive and doing well.
Meredith did not know what it was about was about babies that fascinated her, but she loved the innocence that all babies have before they grow up into the harsh cruel world and are broken.
Like me…
"Hey Rosie." She said warmly, smiling at the slightly wriggling baby. "I haven't seen you for two nights so I'm sorry if you missed me."
Rosie just slightly waved her hands in the air and Meredith could not help but giggle slightly at the sheer cuteness of it.
"Well I missed you." She said, her eyes sparkling with warmth.
Carefully she placed a hand inside on of the special arm-holes and the instant she was within reach of Rosie tiny hand, she found that tiny hand suddenly latched onto an outstretched finger.
"Hey, who's a big strong girl now huh?" Meredith asked in delight, laughing again in wonder at the infant. "You seem to remember me too."
Smiling, Meredith slightly wiggled her enclosed finger but Rosie's grip tightened only further.
"Yes you definitely remember me." She said happily.
Slowly time passed and Meredith just sat there watching over Rosie with a smile.
Rosie somehow made her feel ok and that she could completely be herself, that she would not be judged or pushed away whatever she said to her.
Which was exactly what Meredith needed again.
"Rosie, my person is avoiding me and I don't know why or what to do…The only reason I can think of is that it is because of me leaving and that she isn't being totally honest with me about how she feels."
Meredith paused when she felt the grip on her finger suddenly weaken and immediately she looked at Rosie in slight panic.
But Rosie had only fallen asleep again.
Sighing in relief, Meredith did not move her hand out of the humidicrib; instead she slowly stroked Rosie's tiny limbs and stomach.
"I am definitely getting too attached to you," she said with a slightly sad smile.
Meredith had spoken to the nurses earlier about Rosie's mother, but the extremely bad news was that the mother had post-natal depression and had walked out of the hospital that morning without anyone noticing.
"They are trying to find your mommy Rosie." Meredith said with a hopeful smile but there was an undertone to her voice that somehow she knew that Rosie's mom wasn't going to come back.
But she refused to say this out loud just in case Rosie heard her and somehow understood.
Meredith was not going to be the one to break this innocent baby.
I need to talk about something else…
Suddenly the idea came to her.
"Now Rosie, I think I need to continue our earlier conversation as to why you should never date boys till you are in your thirties…"
Three hours later Meredith had once again poured out her heart, soul and a few tears to Rosie, who had slept peacefully the whole time and had not heard a word, and she was now feeling a whole lot better about every thing that had been bothering her today.
Meredith looked at the clock on the wall and saw that she could still sneak in a few hours of sleep if she went to an on-call room before rounds in four hours.
Glancing at Rosie, Meredith whispered, "I'll come back soon on another night Rosie."
With a small smile, she got up off her chair and walked out of the room with Rosie's file.
Making her way back to the nurse's station, Meredith updated Rosie's chart and placed it back among the other patients' charts.
When she had finished, she made her way to the on-call rooms and luck was on her side when the first on she tried was open and empty!
Quickly walking in and shutting the door behind her Meredith made her way over to the thin bed and lay on it, closing her eyes in bliss as sleep began to immediately creep through her tired body.
It did not take long for her to fall into a peaceful, dreamless sleep.
Her last thought was 'Nine days to go…'
A/N: Please review!
I will update on early next week and I will respond to all reviews as usual because I love doing it. :D
Thanks! Jenn a.k.a fizzwizz15