Chapter Twenty-Five: Day Five, Afternoon

Just waiting at the reception desk at the care centre was making Meredith's already aggravated stomach begin to churn again.

Why oh why had she managed to forget that she was meant to see her mother today? That had been the whole point of her taking the day off so she could begin to get things in order before she had to leave.

Hopefully even explain to her mother what she planned to do with her life and that it was going to be harder to see her as much as she did…

That option was fast becoming under threat though as her stomach was beginning to twist and churn even more so, the mental and physical stress beginning to take a toll on her.

Never had she felt this nervous to see her mother before, even before her diagnosis of Alzheimer's. Ellis Grey's opinion had always mattered to her deep down, and the amount of need she wanted just to have her approval for just once in her life, was magnified by her wondering if her transferring was such a good idea.

If the Ellis Grey was lucid today, Meredith knew that she would tell her mother everything and ask what to do.

But the chance of it being a lucid day was slim, as deep down in her heart, Meredith knew that her mother's condition was slowly worsening. And there was not a single thing she could do about it.

Glancing around the reception room, Meredith couldn't help but sadly take in the view of all of the patients sitting in the visiting room, which was through the nearest door.

The thought that maybe, one day, that could be her as a patient and waiting for people she didn't know or remember made Meredith's heart begin to beat painfully.

She knew her mother was mostly not aware where she was or what was wrong with her, that she lived in the past, but pondering this previous thought she was beginning to understand just how hard it must have been for her proud, strong mother to admit herself into this place when she had first been diagnosed.

It must have been torture…

"Miss Grey?"

A kind voice suddenly snapped Meredith out of her deep thinking and she turned to look into the familiar face of the receptionist.

"Hey, I'm here to see my mother today." Meredith said with a smile.

The woman smiled back and nodded, "Yes, Ellis has been expecting you."

Meredith's eyes widened, "She was expecting me?"

Nodding, the carer explained, "Yes, she has been lucid the past few days and she has been asking for you. We told her that you would be coming today and she has been waiting for you."

Still feeling shocked and surprised, Meredith's jaw opened and closed a few times with no sounds coming out.

Ellis Grey was lucid?

Ellis Grey was lucid.

Her mother was lucid.

A small surprised smile stayed on Meredith's face. It seemed she was going to get her chance to talk to her mother after all.

"May you please take me to her?" Meredith asked and her answer was a warm smile and a nod from the carer.

Following her from the desk and into the visiting room, Meredith saw other visitors talking to some patients and she felt her heart grow heavy as she was able to identify which patients had advanced stages of mental illness as they would not respond to their visitors.

How many times had that happened to her?

Quickly shaking her head, Meredith looked around to see where she was going and she saw with a little bit of surprise that her guide was leading her through several rooms and doors to a little porch outside the compound.

There was a table and two wooden chairs sitting on the porch and Meredith smiled at the occupant of one of the chairs.

"Hi Mom."

The carer smiled at Meredith then at Ellis, saying, "Ellis, here is your daughter to see you. Just like I said remember?"

Quick as a flash Ellis was looking at Meredith and studying her from her seat, making Meredith feel as if she was being put under a microscope for inspection.

"Hmmm. Yes you did say she was coming. And now here is Meredith." Ellis said in her usual, steady analysing voice.

Meredith glanced at the carer with a slight unsure expression, but slowly she turned away and began to approach the empty chair across from her mother.

Sitting down, she sighed quietly and smiled tiredly.

"How are you today Mom?"

Ellis gave Meredith a slight shrug. "I have been worse. But it is nice to be able to remember who I am and what day it is."

Meredith smiled sadly at her, "Yeah, that would be good to know…"

Smiling wryly at her daughter, the once great surgeon sighed and looked off into the distance.

"How long has it been since I have been in here Meredith?"

"A little while."

"Hmmph."

Meredith looked away, feeling a little uneasy. Now she was here, she had her wish that her mother was lucid, and now she had no idea or courage to approach the subject of her transferral.

And she wouldn't be able to see her as much any more…

"Mom…"

Ellis turned back to look at her and Meredith gulped slightly as nerves set in. But now was not the time for nerves.

"Mom, you know how disappointed you were when I told you that I was going to go to medical school…"

Immediately Ellis' eyes narrowed slightly, "Yes. But Meredith its only because I didn't want you to live the life that I had when…"

"Mom, if your medical career (or internship education) had been in jeopardy due to a bad, a really bad, personal mistake and the only way out was a transfer to ensure you had a good chance of a good medical career and a new start, would you take it?"

The instant she had blurted it out, Meredith wished she could take it back…or at least wished she could have worded it better because the reaction her mother was now giving her was making her nearly wish she had just kept her mouth shut.

"A transfer?"

It was spoken with both disdain and suspicion and the mere emphasise on that one word was a closed case, as Meredith knew what Ellis thought.

Her mother's face had darkened with such mixed emotions that Meredith shifted uncomfortably in her chair, looking away from the look that she had grown up and suddenly finding the flowers in the garden to be very interesting.

"Well it really all depends on the circumstances."

Meredith looked at her mother with wide eyes filled with shock, worried she had misheard that last sentence.

Ellis just looked passively at her daughter.

"Meredith, did you ever think that I might have had to have made similar choices and decisions when I was an intern or even when I was at the head of my game? These are all decisions that even the best surgeons face and whatever it is, it is ultimately your decision and your future. Just make sure you make the right decision because there is no turning back from it."

There was a tone in Ellis' voice that spoke of deep regret and Meredith couldn't help but wonder what it was. The great Ellis Grey never ever showed personal emotion like this, but as Meredith listened to her mother she came to see her for the first time as a normal human that also made bad mistakes and had regrets.

"So do what's best for me?" Meredith asked.

Ellis sighed and frowned slightly at her, "Well it depends if you want to do what's best for you, or your career. Have you picked a specialty yet?"

Meredith dead-panned and sighed, but before answering she came to the conclusion that if her mother knew whilst she was lucid that her 'failure' of a daughter did have at least some direction in her life, then maybe it wouldn't hurt her to know a seventy-five percent white lie. Especially if she wasn't going to be around as much anymore…

"Yeah I have Mom."

Gazing at Meredith with interest, Meredith took a deep breath and answered, "Neurology."

Ellis' eyes widened in slight surprise, "Neurology? Not cardio? Or something like that?"

Meredith felt her heart relax as she gave a half-smile and shook her head, "No but I did give it a lot of thought though."

Looking her daughter over once more, Ellis looked away with a stern-thoughtful expression on her face.

"Well at least I know that you have goals and are not floundering around like most interns and wasting valuable time with uncertainty. Having goals is the only way to succeed…glad to see you've finally grown-up slightly and have taken responsibility for yourself."

A small shaky smile appeared on Meredith's face as she felt emotion begin to bubble up inside her. Her mother actually approved of her a little and thought the transfer was not a bad idea…

"So what will happen to me if you decide to go through with a transfer and which hospital will you go to?"

"Well…I was thinking Boston Public and you can continue to be cared for here because you are very settled here and like it, even on your bad days." Meredith said, leaning back in her chair and waiting for the onslaught to come.

"Boston Public? That hospital? Of all places Meredith! Their internship programs are among the lowest rankings in the entire county and…"

"Mom, they rate third now."

Ellis' eyes widened slightly, "Third? Really? Wow, things really have changed since my internship days…So who is your Chief and what is the Neurology department like there?"

"Well Dr Richard Webber is my current Chief at Seattle Grace and…" Meredith began but was instantly interrupted.

"Richard is Chief of Surgery??? So he did what he always wanted to do." Ellis said, happiness and shock bursting onto her normally cloudy features.

Meredith looked at her mother as if she was a complete stranger. Why did she light up so much with the sound of the Chief?

"Yeah, he's Chief and has the entire hospital under his thumb. He's great." Meredith replied with a blank voice as she watched Ellis smile with something that could only be described as happiness and affection.

And it was obviously all for the Chief. But why?

Deciding not to ponder on it for the moment, Meredith put on a more cheerful face and smiled, "He is a great teacher and a great surgeon."

Ellis' slipped into a daydream like gaze as she replied, "Yes Richard was always the best at what he did and destined to become Chief at some hospital."

Meredith nodded in silent agreement ad studied her mother very carefully. The way she was acting was just definitely not normal and something was wrong.

"Mom…"

Suddenly back at Meredith, Ellis smiled tiredly and, placing a hand on her forehead, chuckled a little.

"Sorry, I was just remembering things from the past. It's good to be able to do it every once in a while when one is able…"

Sadness filled Meredith as she pictured herself in her mother's position once again. What would she do if that were her one-day? Who would be there to visit her if it ever happened?

No one…

"Mom I will visit you as much as I can."

Ellis looked at her with a disbelieving expression, "Meredith, by the time you transfer and have any time off to actually visit, my Alzheimer's will be so advanced that the chances of me being this lucid again will be a billion to one and…"

"Mom by then maybe they will have new treatments for then, you never know what the future holds in medical breakthroughs..."

Once again the look of total doubt...

"Meredith. How can you have such hope for what is impossible for me to have in the future?"

Tears began to fill Meredith's eyes as she looked at Ellis.

"Because, Mom, I have no other choice but to hope."

A/N: Ok, so another chapter is done and this horribly difficult chapter has been written. I can thank this idea for this chapter from my sister who booted me to write it because I was procrastinating to do it…I don't know how many drafts I went through but this is the best I could do. I hope it is possible it could happen like this if Meredith managed to play her cards correctly with a lucid Ellis Grey…Maybe not. I'm not sure. But regardless, it's over and onto the next chapter. Thanks to everyone who has continued to read this story and left a review for the last chapter. It was great to see :)

lalaloser/raraRachel: Your reviews made me pause in how to respond. And I could not help but smile. :) I do not pass out any pressure to anyone to continue reading my stories and I know that there will be many who won't read it ever again after reading the first chapter so I am never bothered by it. :) I write for the love of it and when I update, I do it when I choose to and won't be swayed by anyone else, even if they say they won't read it. Because that is not why I continue writing. I will complete this story and as for how long that will take I do not know and never will because it is 'a work in progress'. So maybe it isn't very fair to be so harsh about it? Thanks :)

grace: Hey Grace, I know it's annoying having to wait. I am waiting for many of my favourite stories to be updated, but it can be very difficult at times to either come up with new plot or to just have the time to be able to type because life gets in the way of things. :) I'm sorry I am a bit slow with updating sometimes, but I try my best to do it as often as I can and that is the best I can do. :) I hope you can understand that…

likeURinterested: I love your username :) I wish it were only that easy, but sadly it really isn't and things need to be played out over time :) I even wish it had been done in one episode on the show but whilst writing this I can see why it took a whole season and a bit to be sorted out. It is a lot more complicated than it looks :) And thanks for the tip :) But I really love replying to all the reviews and leaving them at the bottom of the chapters :) It allows me to know that I have replied to all and allows others to read them too (if they wish). :) and there will be flirty scenes regardless of a divorce or not ;) Thanks for the review! :D And I hope you can hang on for a few more chapters for things to be sorted out :D

TVHollywoodDiva: Thanks very much :) Its great to see your still reading and I hope you'll continue to see what happens next :)

McEnglish: It is easy to miss :D There are lots of Grey's Anatomy fan-fictions here :) Thank you very much though! :D Viper is one of my favs and I do LOVE writing jealous Derek :3 hehehe. It is soo much fun. And yes there will be more McDreamy moments in elevators :D That I can definitely promise ;D I wish there was a McEnglish on the show…

gwennon: Wow! Thank you very much! :D It is a slightly long read sorry lol :) I don't know how long I typically take to update, I try to at least once a month but sadly that plan fails a few times, but its pretty much whenever I am able to produce a chapter. :) but I am hoping to get quicker as I tie up loose ends and focus back on the main story :) and it will be a Meredith – Derek pairing :) But not for a while sadly :) Promise it will though.

MissRe: Yeah, I'm sorry to do that to her but it was necessary. And I could imagine George having to do possibly do that a few times in the missing scenes from the show :) He was always looking out for her like that, and YES! :D Izzie has back bone to Cristina and I wish it could have been shown a little bit more because it was always so god to watch :D Thank you very much too! :)

uniquegrl7: I hope you like how I've written it. :) It was actually one of the more difficult chapters I've written, but I definitely had to bring Ellis into this story :D

francetwo: You died! Argh! I'm sorry! I hope you like the update. I have the same habit as you when waiting for my favourite stories to be updated. I love just reading them over and over whilst waiting. I'm sorry for taking so long, but its really cool that you like it so much you read it that many times! :D

snv3: Thank you very much :) It's great to be working back on this story again. I really had a very bad drought with ideas for the next few chapters because I had to tie up a few loose ends that I want to be dealt with as soon as possible. Those kinks are slowly getting there so that's good then I can get back on the main story. Hehehe. I still laugh at the slap and have to read over the story itself to remember what I am writing about lol. There is so much potential for how the characters can act on the show but they rarely seem to do it sadly except when it is in desperate needs, and Izzie definitely is one of those characters. Glad you are still reading it :D