Chapter 12

I opened my eyes to a blinding white light, and instinctively closed them again.
There was a rhythmic beeping noise coming from my left.
"I think he's regaining consciousness." I heard a female voice say.
I opened my eyes more slowly.
I was in a hospital, or what seemed to be one, with a nurse to the left of me, standing next to the machine.
I let out a long breath.
"Glad to see your awake." The nurse said.
"Yeah, good to be awake." I replied tiredly.
"How long was I out?" I asked.
"Only a day or two."
I chuckled. "I had a feeling that would happen." I smiled.
"You did this on purpose?" The nurse raised an eyebrow.
"Not really. I mean, yeah, I knew that the chances of me getting in a sugar coma were very high, but it was all for a special occasion,"
The nurse sighed. "Are you going to become a regular?"
"Probably." I said, and lied my head back.
"Well, I think you have a friend waiting for you." She moved a curtain over.
"Rainbow?" I said, seeing the Pegasus wearing a cast on her right wing.
"Hey Impact!" She said, lowering a book that she was reading.
"How are your wings treating you?"
"Oh, fine. The beds have slits in the back where you can put them without putting any weight on them."
"Cool. So, what cha' reading?"
"Daring Do and the Emerald Statue." She held the book's cover up.
"I'll have to look into that one." I said, sitting up.
"Sir, you may want to wait until your fully recovered until walking, flying, or teleporting anywhere." The nurse cautioned.
I looked at her skeptically. "But you see, I am no normal stallion! I, am a foolish stallion! Capable of idiocies that no normal pony can withstand!" I spoke, standing on my hind legs.
The nurse giggled, and I slowly went onto my front hooves.
"Alright, I'm back in business!" I said proudly, flapping my wings.
"You might be able to flap them, but can you fly with them?" Rainbow challenged.
"Oh, I can fly alright." I said, hovering around in a circle.
Rainbow giggled.
"Thanks Mrs..." I turned towards the nurse.
"Miss Redheart." She said, holding her hoof up.
"Nice to meet you Miss Redheart." I said, bumping her hoof.
"So, why did you eat all those cupcakes, anyway?" Rainbow asked.
"Oh, it was a special occasion."
"Like, what kind of occasion?" Rainbow pressed.
"Like, First date, occasion."
"With who?" Rainbow suddenly became excited.
"A unicorn." I said, knowing it would annoy her.
"Which unicorn?" Rainbow looked desperate for an answer.
"Alright, Alright, fine. Twilight." I smiled.
"Twilight? Really?" Rainbow seemed to be surprised.
"Heck yeah! She's smart, she's cute, she's polite, the list goes on!"
"Well, you seem to have your reasons." Rainbow chuckled.
"Well, I should get going. Somepony's bound to be worried about me." I said, leaving the room.
"Chris! Your awake!" Olivia said, cantering up to me.
"Yeah. The flippin' cupcakes with extra sugar got me." I said.
She giggled. "Go to see you." She said, hugging me.
I hugged her back.
"You were out for a whole day. I doubt anybody missed you though, don't worry." She joked, and broke the hug.
"Yeah, yeah, whatever. And it's anypony, not anybody." I chuckled.
"Sorry, I haven't got my human-to-pony dictionary with me right now."
"Equestrian-to-Human dictionary, actually." We both chuckled.
"So, what made you want to put yourself in a sugar coma?" She asked.
"Oh! Well, I'll have you know that I! The reckless, annoying, nearly insane Chris Shane! Have a marefriend." I smiled.
"A marefriend? Oh, I get it. Mares are girls, so they call it marefriend here in Ponyville."
"No, Equestria, get it right." We laughed.
"I should probably go, I mean, I haven't eaten in a whole day!" I said, walking down the hallway to the exit.
"Your out quick." A nurse at the counter commented.
"Cause' I'm boss like that." I said, leaving the hospital.
She probably has no idea about that, but whatever. I have business to attend to!
Fluttershy was walking a family of ducks across the street(D' Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwww).
"Hi Fluttershy." I said, and scared the little Pegasus.
"Oh, It's just you. Your out already? Not that it's bad or anything." She said, walking the ducks across.
"Yeah, it wasn't recommended by the nurses, but I still did it." I chuckled.
"Oh, yeah... I need to get back to my animals now." She cantered off towards the ducks.
I trotted for the library, humming a tune as I did.
"Oh, darling your awake!" I heard a posh voice that could only be Rarity's say.
"Sure am! And I'm better than ever!" I said, turning around with a smile on my face.
"Yes. Also, I noticed Twilight seemed the most worried about this whole, 'Sugar Coma' thing. Any idea why?"
Rarity, of all ponies wouldn't realize it?
"Well, somehow, by pure luck perhaps, I can be considered her... Stallionfriend!" I said, jumping.
Rarity's eyes widened, and went back to normal.
"So, Twilight, and you?" She said.
"Oh, heck yes. Well, I should go see her, what with the whole 'Sugar Coma' thing." I mocked.
"Oh, yes, I should let you get to that." She replied.
"Hi ho silver, away!" I shouted, galloping towards the library.
The walk was normal enough. Ponies walking by, the Cutie Mark Crusaders trying to get Cutie Marks.
Cutie Marks!
I craned my neck back so I could see my flank.
Just red. No picture, what so ever.
What would Twi say? Oh, that's nothing to worry about. Of course, this is a kids show.
Then again, they still have spin the bottle and truth or dare. And Scotch.
It'll be fine.
I arrived at the library, and knocked.
Twilight opened the door, and grinned happily.
"Your awake!" She gave me a giant hug, and I returned it.
"So, how have things been?" I asked.
"How have things been? You've been out for a whole day, and that's what you say?" She giggled.
"Well, this hasn't happened to me before, so I'm a bit inexperienced."
"Never mind. So, how did it happen, again?" She asked.
"Oh, just some celebratory cupcakes. To be more precise, I had twenty extra sugar celebratory cupcakes." I chuckled.
"You had twenty extra sugar cupcakes? Are you insane?" She said, never losing her beautiful smile.
"Almost. Maybe. Dunno." We both laughed.
"Well, I'm glad your back. I think Vinyl was taking care of your robot."
"Great. Now I have to save the guy from mating with a stereo, and myself from Vinyl." I joked.
"See you later!" I said, leaving.
"Bye!" She waved.
I trotted to Vinyl's place.
I knocked on the door, and she answered.
"Oh! Well, I wasn't expecting a surprise." She said lustfully.
I sighed. "I'm just here for Eptic." I said in a deadpan tone.
"Oh, sure. Let me get him." She said, shaking her hips as she walked away.
She came back with Eptic on her back, and the same lust filled eyes.
She silently hoofed me the robot.
"Thanks, I guess." I said, walking away.
Oh, Vinyl.
"Whoa!" I heard a young, voice with a southern drawl shout, before I was knocked over from my hooves, throwing my head to the ground.
"Oh! I'm sorry mister! Did you get hurt? I was trying to get a Cutie Mark for speed!" She apologized.
"Nah, I'm fine." I said, rubbing my head.
"Oh! Your that Impact feller Applejack always talks about!" She smiled.
"She talks about me huh?"
"Sure does! All the time."
"Nice. Well, you best be getting back to finding your Cutie Marks." I chuckled.
"Yeah. Hey! Do you wanna join us?" She said excitedly.
"What? Oh, yeah. Well, I'll think about it." I chuckled.
"Really? Great!" She said, hopping away.
Well, I suppose I could.
"So, what's this about a marefriend?" Eptic asked.
"Yeah. Twilight and me." I said.
"Nice."
"Let's get home!" I said, flying home.
I shot into the front door, leaving a small, but unnoticeable crack where my head collided with it.
"Whoa! I felt that from here!" Eptic exclaimed.
"I felt that in my head!" I repeated, rubbing the top of my head.
"Is it possible to go back into a sugar coma?"
"Maybe." I opened the door, and dumped Eptic on the floor.
"So, now that your awake, what are gonna do?" Eptic asked.
"Not a clue. But that's how stuff happens in my world, huh?"
"I wonder if some of the ponies can turn into humans..." Eptic rubbed his chin.
"Probably. We should try it later." I chuckled.
"What's so funny?"
"I wonder what Twilight would do if she were on earth as a human."
Eptic laughed. "Probably say something about clothes, you barely stop her, she finds out about fake stuff, she evolves into Rapidash, you know, that stuff."
"Wow. You really thought about that stuff."
"I guess." Eptic chuckled.
"Wait, when was the last time I went to work?" I said seriously.
"Like, four days ago." Eptic said calmly.
"I'm gonna get fired!" I shouted, shooting through the front door, almost breaking it's hinges.
"Good luck, bro!" Eptic shouted as I flew down the street.
I had to avoid several passerby's.
"Hey!"
"Sorry!"
"Buck!"
"My bad!"
"Dumbflank!"
"It's what I do!"
"Screw you!"
At least five other ponies yelled at me with Equestrian curses.
I landed at the front of the restaurant and opened the doors.
"I'm not fired, am I?" I half shouted, half-said.
"You, good sir, are completely fired!" The same stallion from the first time scolded.
"What? That was like, the only way for me to get bits!" I said, raising my voice.
"Well, you missed about, five days, and it's your fault anyway."
I sighed. "I knew that this would happen!" I said, facehoofing, and leaving.
"Of course I lose my first job!" I shouted.
I sighed again. "Well, I'll find some way to get bits." I chuckled.
"I wonder... if I should be a male Prostitute?" I joked with myself.
I slowly trotted back home.
"Hey. You get fired?" Eptic asked.
"Yep. Sure did. We need to brain storm for somehow to get bits." I said, taking a seat on the couch.
"Well, we have that cloning machine in one of the rifts. Can we use that?" Eptic suggested.
"Eptic! Your a genius!" I said, picking him up and kissing him.
He laughed. "Gee, calm down!" He said, trying to get out of my grasp.
I opened a rift and jumped inside.
"Is Excalibur in there?" Eptic shouted.
"No, I think that's in The Weapon Rift." I replied.
I found a few lightsabers(What? I've been to alot of different dimensions.), Grapple hooks, a pixalated pickaxe, the sticky gloves from MI Ghost Protocol, and a sentry turret.
"Ah ha!" I exclaimed, grabbing the cloning device.
"Found it?"
"Yeah! I'm coming out!"
I began to run out of the rift.
"EXCELSIOR" I yelled, jumping out of the hole.
"It looks better than ever!" Eptic exclaimed "Yeah. I still have ten bits on me." I said, craning my neck to hold my bit pouch.
"Alright! Put that stuff in!" He grabbed the pouch, and dunked its contents in the device.
A bright light shine from the bits, and they turned into a larger pile of bits.
"It worked!" I exclaimed.
I grabbed the bits and put them in my pouch.
"This should get us enough until the end of the week." I zipped my pouch close.
"Let's get some food." I said, picking Eptic up and putting him on his usual spot.
"You know, I'm like Spike, and your like Twilight." Eptic said.
"I'm good, thanks. I'd rather not date myself thank you very much. But I do see the resemblance."
I arrived at the store and entered.
"Hello sir." A mare greeted me.
"Afternoon." I said politely.
I walked to the nearest food section.
"Lettuce is on sale." Eptic commented.
"I hate lettuce. Besides it doesn't matter how much things cost."
"Well what about... peppers!" Eptic pointed at red, yellow, and green bell peppers.
I grabbed two each and looked around.
"Maybe you should get some flowers or something." Eptic suggested.
"I guess. I mean, Dandelion wine isn't that bad."
I grabbed some dandelions, sunflowers, and roses and went to the counter.
"Just these." I said, giving the mare the flowers and peppers.
"Just a moment please." She scanned the stuff and put it all in a bag.
"That'll be fifteen bits." She said.
I pulled out fifteen bits and put them on the counter.
"Thanks for shopping at-" She was unable to finish her sentence as I dashed out the door.
I threw myself inside the house.
"I'm so flipping hungry!" I exclaimed, tearing out a green pepper and dandelion bunch.
"Those look good." Eptic commented as I dug my face in the pepper.
"I haven't eaten in like, a whole day."
I finished the pepper and began the flower.
"Wow, that's actually kinda sweet." I said, my mouth full of Dandelion.
I finished that and stood up.
"Whats next?" Eptic asked.
"Not a clue."
"Oh no."
"Well, we have to do something!"
"Like what?"
"I don't know. You wanna visit Vinyl?"
"Isn't she in heat or something?"
"No, you! Not me!"
"Oh! Well, heck yeah! I'm outta here!" He jumped off my back and out the door.
"Looks like I'm alone now." I said to myself.
I opened up a mini-rift and jumped in.

Twenty minutes later...

I jumped out of the rift with a lightsaber, forty bottles of mountain dew, a human form, a cobalt Turtleneck sweater, a chain, and a glow stick.
I spent about three hours dancing, fighting, and singing.
I knocked myself out on a shelf.
(Again, Chris ends up asleep.)