Chapter 4:

Octavia looked at her with an arched eyebrow, "This is seriously the second time I've had to get you out of lock up. I'm scared that they won't let you out next time, Clarke!" Clarke rolled her eyes, walking quickly throughout the hallways with Octavia on her heels. The frisky brunette's hands were moving as she went into an unintelligible lecture. Octavia recognized the walk as Clarke's signature walk…she wanted to smile but at the same time she was scared of what it meant. She didn't even know what her friend had been arrested for. She stopped with the lecture and grabbed Clarke's arm- glaring into her eyes and waiting for a proper response. "Clarke! Come on, talk to me!"

Clarke jerked her arm out of Octavia's grip and kept reading off the numbers of living quarters as they passed through her vision. She was trying to remember which one was Miller's room. Octavia's footsteps vibrated through the former silence of the hallways they were inhabiting because she was stomping in discontent. Clarke stopped, her hand on the door hatch—completely prepared to walk right into Miller's place without knocking. Octavia cleared her throat and indicated that Clarke needed to knock with a hand motion. Clarke did so. Octavia was pleased that Clarke was finally responded to something, yet worry still coursed through her.

Miller's voice told them to come in from a distance. "How dangerous." Clarke mumbled, her mind set in war-mode. She wasn't expecting Bellamy to be there but she should have known he would be. Miller was his best friend. Clarke wanted to turn around a leave the second she met his eyes but she stood her ground, trying to keep up the icy appearance while she could. But it was Bellamy… it was the guy she'd shared a bed with and shared a leadership role with. He was handsome and charming and the fact that he was sitting here with his wounded best friend made her want to break into a smile. It made her want to rip his clothes off too but that was probably a reaction to the anger in her mind. Hate and love (or lust) were in the same side of the brain…at least, that's what she kept saying every painful second that passed before she could manage to speak. "How are you?" She asked because she wasn't exactly trying to be rude.

"Good." Miller said. He was confused by her posture. "What's up?"

"We seriously have to get out of here." Clarke said in one loud breath as if it were common knowledge and they were all thinking the same thing. "As soon as possible."

"What?" Octavia was shocked. But it wasn't that Blake's reaction that had Clarke questioning herself. It was Bellamy's same single word response as Octavia's filled with anger and annoyance that sent Clarke into a quick panic. Octavia continued to talk, "Clarke! Seriously, you need to start talking. What were you just arrested for?"

"It doesn't matter." Clarke said, feeling like she didn't have time to explain. Her hand moved at her side as she talked. From the outside, she probably looked insane which is why her friends weren't given her the reaction she needed. "What matters is the fact that these people aren't out friends."

Minutes passed as everyone in the room contemplated what she said. Octavia's eyes lowered while she thought. Clarke wondered if she was thinking about Lincoln…If so, Clarke had the same fears that Lincoln, too was hurt like Finn. It was that fear that kept her in an upright position and let her words be dissected by the people she trusted. Miller opened his mouth as if he were going to agree with her but Bellamy stepped into her vision, shutting whatever Miller was going to say down with his broad shoulders and stunning physique.

Bellamy shook his head, "Come with me." He grabbed her arm tightly, dragging her out of the room and down the hallway. She cussed him and tried to break out of his grip unsuccessfully. She was on the verge of throwing a few careless punches when he stopped walking. He grabbed a gun from a cabinet by one of the locked doors and stepped into the small glass space with Clarke inches from his face. His eyes were unreadable, his jaw tense.

For a heartbeat, she thought he was going to put her down because of her defiance. Her memories drifted back to space where her actions—her words had resulted in her arrest. The type of questions she planned on asking were either going to free her friends or kill her. She couldn't fully grasp how she was okay with both of those actions but she was. She was prepared for anything.

Anything but the conversation she was about to have.

She heard a loud beeping and saw fluorescent red lights going off around her but she could only look at Bellamy, fury pulsing through her body because of his current state. It was as if he were disgusted with her. She hated that. She hated that she hated that. Her anger was causing her to dig her fingernails into her palms. She wanted to name the red hot fury after him because it was the first time it'd been in such a copious amount. Once the beeping stopped and the red lights turned green, he opened the door with a loud sound.

Bright white light greeted her and she wanted to smile at the outside world. It was as if she'd just emerged from under water to find the entire world more beautiful—more welcoming than before. She almost didn't remember the hardships she'd suffered since coming to earth. Her only thought besides her observations was: Home. She longed to run through the grass, and memorize the way it felt against her fair skin. She wanted to run her fingers through it and then put every detail on paper until the opening they were in was etched into her mind for all eternity. What if this is the last time I see the outside? She thought. She had to remember it…she had to remember everything. Unfortunately, Bellamy kept his iron-clad grip on her nearly pushing her away from the door into the heavily wooded area that surrounded them. "How'd you get that card?" She asked, her eyes landed on the side of his face. She was no longer concerned about how tightly he was holding her arm. She watched as his face changed because of her question, watched as he bit the inside of his cheek before he disregarded her question.

There it was—the worst feeling in the entire world. Betrayal.

Because Bellamy Blake hadn't been fucking around for the last few weeks. He hadn't been ignoring her because of some stupid slut or because he wanted to shoot guns in a shooting range. He wasn't avoiding her because he had some type of feelings for her. No…Bellamy was locking in his own personal power within Mount Weather without her. And that hurt more than anything had ever hurt her (well, next to her father's death).

She let it fester within her while they continued to walk. Eventually, he pushed her in front of him and told her lowly to continue to walk. "Where are we going?" She asked, feeling a prickle behind her eyes at the sound of his voice.

"Hunting." He responded coldly.

"Funny, I don't have a gun." She replied, pushing back her emotions. She didn't want to be a betrayed partner. She wanted to be a strong leader for her people.

He growled, "I'm not giving you a gun."

"What's your problem?" She turned on her heel. Her teenage authority protesting gene getting in the way of her objective to remain a decent leader. The real question on the tip of her tongue was 'Why?' but she didn't dare to ask that question yet. He would shut her down completely if she did that.

"What is my-" He began but stopped, "I don't have a problem. You're the one with the problem-"

"No I'm not." Clarke said, "I'm only concerned about my people."

"-Sneaking around, confronting leaders. Finn, you've been visiting Finn who jeopardized these people's lives for fun." His temper started to flare at the mention of Finn. Clarke's face faltered briefly as she thought of her conversation with Finn. Then, she processed Bellamy's facial features. He wasn't meeting her in the eyes, he was looking down at the ground—huffing like she'd offended his pride.

"This is about Finn." Clarke said with an acid-like smile on her lips, "This isn't even about what I said at Nathan's, this is fucking personal...How vain are you?"

"Miller, Clarke. His name is Miller." Bellamy raised his voice. He attempted to release a calming breath as he closed his eyes. His hand was brought up in front of him as he tried to explain his point. "I'm not making this personal! You need to stop, Clarke. You need to turn around on this road you're going down and pray everyone forgets."

"You forced me out here to yell at me. About Finn. That's personal." She disregarded the last words that he said. It seemed to piss him off that she was still talking about Finn when he was trying to cover up his jealousy with crap statements about following laws.

Bellamy paused to think before he said the most idiotic thing that he could to her. He knew it was stupid. He knew it would hurt her. Yet, he opened his mouth to say it because he needed her on a different topic other than him. "It's criminal behavior." He said, "Its treason, Clarke."

"Fitting because I am a criminal. I guess old habits die hard when it comes to treason. You ever think that we're in a bad situation- that these people aren't as nice as you think they are? Of course not because Bellamy Blake, the former rebel king, doesn't worry about his people anymore. He worries about himself. Our people are in danger and you could care less!"

Something snapped inside of him because of her personal attack on him. Bellamy was an animal at times—he had to be sharp for war. He not only knew how to knock someone out, he knew how to cut them deep with his words. And if that wasn't true—he knew how to cut Clarke deep with his words. He knew how she felt by the look in her eyes. He knew that she was on the edge of something that he happened to be on to. He wanted to pull her close—he wanted to push her away. He wanted to tell her that she was right (because she was) but he wanted his life to go on in its new glory…he thought he deserved a little glory after his disappointing childhood and hardship on the ground. "Is that what Finn said? Tell me Princess, are you two fucking again? Is he fulfilling every need-" She cut him off. He didn't expect her to cut him off. He expected her to cry. He wanted to make her cry because then he could convince himself that she was better off without him.

"Treason." Clarke hated the word, "You know, I've been arrested for treason before, Bellamy. You know why? Because people were scared of the truth." She shook her head, "You're trying to hurt my feelings." Maybe Clarke knew Bellamy the way he knew her, too. She knew when he was pushing her away. She knew when he was trying to be cold. She knew when he was failing. He was failing right now.

He hadn't stopped trying to antagonize her yet, "—is that what it is? Come on Clarke, we can talk about anything, remember? You need me, remember? You really know how to get around, Clarke." Now he was just being unnecessarily cruel bringing her sex life up.

"Stop." She said, "Stop making this about you. They're poisoning him, Bellamy." She felt the sting in her eyes again and saw the satisfaction in his eyes. "And you don't care because they've pacified you with everything you've never had. How long is it going to take before they go after Miller, huh? He hates it here! Or Harper? She'd back Nathan up in a heartbeat. Who's next? Octavia-" She knew Octavia was a low blow. "—because eventually she's going to wake up and realize that Lincoln would never leave her behind and once she does she'll want out of here, too." She watched his face shift because he was no longer satisfied—oh, no he was listening to her. Clarke had this way of demanding attention and he couldn't deny a direct demand from the princess even if he tried. "And what about me?" She didn't really expect him to react much but he did. His eyes finally met hers because the jackass exterior was melting away. She was getting through to him…the way she always seemed to get through to him. He couldn't pretend he didn't like Clarke for that superpower she had. That superpower being her fearlessness when it came to him. Any other girl would be crying like a baby and demanding he take it all back or trying to defend herself. She was letting his sex comments roll off her back like water. "Because I sure as hell am not going to sit around while one of my own gets poisoned… I'm not going to sit around and wait for things to change. I'm not going to eat fucking pizza and screw around because hey- life's so fucking fantastic around here that it has to last forever! Newsflash, Bellamy!" She was screaming at the top of her lungs now because his eyes were starting to glaze over at his other thoughts. "We don't get happy endings! This is earth and it's our job to make sure these people make it! It's our job, no one else's and just because you've lost track of what's important, doesn't mean I have. We don't get nice apartments and this fairy tale without a price…and what if that price is our lives?"

"Clarke…" He said. He was going to apologize because it seemed fitting after his irrational outburst. She put up a hand to stop him.

"Please, choke on my name some more while you try to come up with some lame ass excuse." Clarke rolled her eyes, "I don't want to hear it. You're my partner, Bellamy. I trust you with everything I have…please tell me you can do the same."

"It sounds insane." He claimed, "Besides Finn, you have no proof and excuse me when I say he's not a reliable source. How are you going to convince our entire group of misfits to follow you?"

"They never contacted the Ark." Clarke said, "Fact. That'll mean something to them."

"Okay." Bellamy shrugged, "Easily explained. The Ark left them to die. They'll relate because the Ark left them to die."

"Oh, so let's just welcome Ark survivors with open arms? Your logic is flawed." She was calming down, her face restoring to its steely leader façade as she attempted to talk like they used to. He noticed the way her eyes flitted around and how her breathing changed that she'd gotten what she needed to say off her chest. He'd gone down a bad road with her but they'd taken a temporary detour. "Why didn't they help the grounders but help us? Why are the grounders afraid of them? Why didn't we pick them up when Raven restored the radio—" Raven, Clarke needed to talk to Raven…she added that on her list of things to do. "—what are they gaining from this?"

"Maybe they're genuinely nice people."

"We live in a post-nuclear warzone and you think the neighbors are nice?" Clarke said, a bitter laugh escaping her lips. "The remnants of the people that blew this beautiful place to pieces over personal gain...? We're humans, Bellamy. We always want something. We always crave something we can't have and we get jealous."

He nodded as if he understood exactly what she was saying, which was a start. Clarke, of course, didn't know where his mind was heading for the thousandth time that day. Their night of passion. It was burned into him like a brand. "You make a good argument."

"I make a great argument." She told him, "I'm sorry I yelled."

"I'm sorry I haven't been around." He said, "I'm sorry I got caught up in it."

"Happens to the best of us."

"Not the best of us." He said, "You're the best of us…Clarke."

She shook her head, "What do we have that they don't?"

"Moonshine." Bellamy said. "I don't know."

Clarke felt the wind sweep by her, sending a chill up her arm. She almost forgot about winter…how could she forget about the upcoming winter? "We could run away right now and be free."

"You aren't that selfish." He said, "You'd rather die than leave our people behind. Everyone knows that."

"Does that make me stupid?"

"Extremely." Bellamy said, "But it makes you extremely noble as well."

She nodded, "I don't want to go back inside. That place is suffocating me…I spent my entire life in a metal box and now it terrifies me."

"Why do you say things like that?" Bellamy asked. He felt like a mental mess because he'd gone through so many emotions in the last ten minutes. Anger, jealousy, fear, and now amazement… he was amazed by her. "You voice what you're thinking like…like…"

"I said I trust you." Clarke said, "We need someone to talk to. I have you. I have Octavia, too but really… She doesn't need to be worrying about the things that are worrying me right now." She shrugged, "I'm used to you."

Bellamy sighed, "We going to talk about last night?"

"We had sex."

"That, we did." He said, "And you kicked me out afterwards."

Clarke shrugged, "I didn't like you."

"Didn't?"

"Don't…maybe." She took the time to spread her arms out as the wind went around her body. "It wasn't terrible sex."

"It was great sex, Clarke." Bellamy said, "You can admit that I rocked your world."

Clarke rolled her eyes at his cockiness, "And if I do?"

He was silent for a minute, "Then I would be inclined to do it again."

"And if I let you?"

"I'd probably want to do it again and again."

She turned around and looked at him. "Ever heard there's a fine line between love and hate?"

"Once or twice."

"I think I hate you." Clarke said before she turned around again, "Even if you rocked my world."