Edd and Eddy walked hesitantly towards the driveway, neither one of them saying a word. Eddy's brother watched them in amusement. Edd felt like a gazelle looking at an Arabian wolf. Eddy's brother smiled a terrifying smile that reminded him of the way the Grinch grinned. Even though Edd was almost a man, Eddy's brother still terrified him.
"Hiya bro!" Eddy faked a grin as he spoke to his brother. Edd knew that Eddy was still terrified of his own brother, but tried so hard to hide the fact. What a paradox it was. Eddy loved his own brother, but was terrified of his brother's wrath.
"Hey Pipsqueak," Matthew greeted, "are you and your girlfriend just going to stand there or are you going to help me move my shit in?" Edd was miffed by the girlfriend comment. Did he really look like a girl to the man?
"In a minute," Eddy replied and walked towards him, "so what happened for you to be moving back here?"
"I got fired from Mondo A-Go Go," Matthew replied bitterly, "Some bitch turned me in for beating up her kid. It's not my fault she raised her kid to be such a whiny snot-nosed prick. My days of making cotton candy for ankle-biters are over!"
"Charming," Edd muttered sarcastically. There is nothing more horrid to Edd than a man who thinks nothing of beating a child at a carnival. The shocking thing was that Matthew worked at that carnival for so many years without getting fired, possibly turning other kids into his own personal punching bags while on the job.
"So the sockhead princess finally speaks," Matthew grinned at Edd. "Why don't you come closer and be more social. I don't bite unless you want me to."
"Ha ha," Edd rolled his eyes, moving closer to Matthew and Eddy.
"So, bro," Eddy continued the previous conversation, "what are you planning on doing next?"
"Well, I'm either planning on becoming a street pharmacist or something like that. I haven't thought too far ahead."
"I'm sure whatever you pick would be wonderful career for a law abiding citizen such as yourself," It seemed that sarcasm was quickly becoming a third language to Edd whenever Eddy's brother opened his mouth.
Matthew just laughed, "I can see why you're still with him, Pipsqueak. Your girlfriend still has spunk after all of these years. So, have you fucked him yet?"
Edd turned bright pink and Eddy's jaw dropped at his brother's inappropriate question. "Very funny, Bro. Double D's my best friend. We're not like that."
Eddy's brother chuckled, "Sure you're not. I'm sure that putting on mom's clothes and high heels was also just for fun, right?"
"I only did that a couple of scams. It's not like I enjoy wearing women's clothing!" Eddy's face was turning the same color as his brother's plaid shirt. It seemed that Eddy's brother still got a sadistic thrill out of humiliating Eddy. If Edd didn't do anything, there probably would've been a fight on Eddy's front lawn between two brothers. The lanky teen was surprised by Eddy's amount of self control so far. Eddy had always been short-fused and blew up whenever things didn't go according to what he had planned. It must have taken a certain amount of self restraint for Eddy not to blow up from having his sexual prowess, or lack thereof, questioned by Sarah and Jimmy and his masculinity challenged by his own brother.
Edd stepped between the brothers before things got a chance to escalate, "hey Eddy, let's start moving your brother's stuff in."
"Okay Double D," Eddy agreed, his face slowly turning back to his normal shade, "let's get cracking."
Before either one of them could open one of the car doors, Matthew loudly cleared his throat to get their attention. "Wait just a second, Pipsqueak. I don't want my shit getting broke and Sockhead Princess here looks like he can barely lift up a teddy bear. Why don't you get the stuff and I'll find a couple of things to keep your girlfriend busy with."
"Okay," Eddy replied, starting to get an armful of his brother's clothes. Edd had never seen Eddy so subservient to anybody before.
Edd frowned, "I'll have you know that I carry a box quite adequately."
"You look like the type of guy that is very neat and clean," The older man commented, completely ignoring Edd's insistence that he was not as weak as the man claimed.
"Why, yes. I do pride myself at cleanliness." One of the things Edd could keep humble about was his preference for keeping everything neat. In fact, the mere sight of filth or dirt was enough to drive him insane.
"Good," Matthew flopped down on the armchair and finished off his beer, "you can fix me lunch and none of that rabbit food either. When you're done with that, I got another thing for you to do."
"And if I refuse?" Edd crossed his arms defiantly. He was not sure if he had a death wish, but he was not going to let Matthew treat Eddy and him like slaves. He gulped loudly when the man yanked him by the wrists.
Their noses almost touched. The nauseating scent of beer, cologne, and cigarettes filled Edd's nose. His slim wrists started to hurt in the man's grip. "Listen, Sockhead," Matthew hissed as Edd's legs started to shake, "if you don't follow my orders, I'll have you something far worse."
Edd shuddered and pulled himself away from the man, "does hamburger and fries seem alright to you?" He did not know what Matthew meant by him doing something far worse than what he was already doing, but he was content at never finding out.
"That sounds perfect," Matthew grinned, satisfied with Edd's compliance, "No cheese though, I'm lactose intolerant. Also, I like my burger burnt." Edd nodded quietly and headed into the kitchen to feed the new discourteous house member.
Eddy came back in carrying a large cardboard box. "Jesus, what the fuck do you have inside of this? It weighs a ton!" Eddy asked, leaning against the wall to rest for a bit.
"Your girlfriend's dildo," The man replied, "if you even dare to look inside that box, I'll cut your hand off. Capisce?"
"Yeah, I heard ya." Eddy mumbled, carrying the box into his brother's room.
Edd adjusted the fire on the stove, careful not to burn the pan. He also got the fryer going and waited for it to warm up. While he cooked the fries and hamburger, Eddy continued to carry stuff in. Eddy politely declined Edd's offer to cook him lunch. At least one of the brothers was considerate of others. Well, Eddy was considerate of him and Ed when he was not trying to scam the neighborhood. He cherished his friendship with Ed and Eddy. The two were always there for him when he first moved to Peach Creek. He did not dare to ruin his friendship with Eddy over his own traitorous hormones. So he kept his crush on his best friend a secret from him.
Eddy already disappeared to his room when Edd finally got Matthew's food cooked. Edd put only ketchup on Eddy's brother's hamburger and didn't put anything on the fries. He carried the food to the man on a Styrofoam plate.
"Well, what do you know," Matthew took the plate from Edd, "Pipsqueak's girlfriend knows his way around the kitchen too.
"It's just a hamburger and fries," Edd shrugged, gritting his teeth at the `girlfriend' comment.
"Well, most of guys I knew at Mondo A-Go Go who didn't work at the food stands fixed themselves Hot Pockets and Ramen noodles every day," Matthew took a bite out of one of the fries. "Your food even tastes as good as it smells. Your next task is just to sit next to me. I was going to have you clean my shoes while I ate, but I decided to have you sit with me since you did a great job at cooking." He scooted over and patted the spot next to him. Edd hesitantly sat next to the man on the armchair. The armchair in Eddy's sitting room, if one could even call it that, was large enough to fit two people comfortably. To Edd's discomfort, the man also put his arm around his shoulders. He clenched his jaw to prevent himself from telling the man to give him back his personal space.
"Why thank you," He figured that trying to have a civilized conversation with Matthew couldn't hurt, "so how old are you?"
"I'm 24 years old," The man replied. That meant that Matthew was 20 years old when Edd had first met him. "I suppose you're the same age as Pipsqueak."
"Eddy and I are the same age with a few months difference between us. How long did you work at Mondo A-Go Go?"
"I worked there for five miserable years," Matthew said sourly, "I can't stand kids and I only took the job to get away from Dad."
Edd made a mental note to ask Eddy for more details on the estrangement between Matthew and his father later. "Maybe you can get a job at your father's used automobile business."
"Hell no." Matthew frowned.
"Eddy's been working there on weekends for a month now and he seems to enjoy working there," Edd smiled proudly at Eddy's ability to earn money legitimately without resorting to scams. "He enjoys the money that he earns every mouth."
"What? Oh fuck no!" Matthew then yelled out towards the direction of Eddy's room, "Pipsqueak! Get your ass in here!"
Eddy quickly scurried into the living room, not having time to react to the sight of his own brother putting his arm around one of his best friends, "what's wrong, bro?"
"Everything is wrong, Eddy Skipper McGee," Eddy flinched at his brother using his full name; "you and your girlfriend here are fucking goody two-shoes. You two might as well join those Urban Ranger ankle-biting faggots. I thought I taught you better than this. You're working with dad? That self-centered son-of-a-bitch?!" Matthew shoved his plate onto the walnut side table. He quickly reached over Edd and grabbed the cigarettes on the table that most likely belonged to Eddy's parents.
Edd and Eddy stared at the man, shell-shocked. Guilt overwhelmed his thoughts. He had unwilling thrown Eddy to the Big Bad Wolf without meaning to. Edd might have been an only child, but he knew that most brothers would've been proud of the fact that their sibling had become part of the workforce, but not Eddy's brother. After lighting up the cigarette and inhaling the thick smoke, the man seemed to relax. Edd tried to get up, but the man still had a tight grip on his shoulder. "Alright, I'm calm. I'm calm. I've been away for a while and shit. Don't worry, Pipsqueak. Your big bro is here now and I'll get you on the right track that definitely does not involve working for that old douche."
"Oh Matthew, what is the right track that you believe is best for us and how are you going to get us on that path?" Edd asked quietly, not wanting to anger Matthew.
"I'm glad you asked that, Sockhead. You two have been sheltered away from experiencing the freedom adults can enjoy. You know what I'm talking about. Shit like getting tattoos and sneaking into bars. I was doing that shit at your age and it was some of the best times I've had as a teen."
"I'm game for that," Eddy declared, enthusiastically. He was always eager to have the same freedom as an adult. Edd decided that he would talk to Eddy later when his brother was out of earshot about the possible consequences that could come out of what his brother was suggesting. He already had a headache thinking about the endless consequences that would result from going to adult venues and partaking in same vices as adults do. Even though he would be eighteen in two years and was almost a man, he was unsure if he or Eddy was ready for that type of freedom.