To say that Edd woke up feeling like shit would be putting it mildly. His head was pounding and all he wanted to do was stay in bed all day. The smell of alcohol and sweat clung to his body. "I'm never drinking that foul beverage again!" Edd whined as he pulled the pillow over his head. Memories of the night before slowly came back to him. Memories of how much damage Eddy's brother had done to the backyard, the drunken man stealing Eddy's bed, the things they found out about Eddy's brother, and Edd kissing Eddy before they had passed out.

Edd groaned quietly to himself. `I'm such a nincompoop for agreeing to drink with Eddy! He may not have anything against homosexuals, but I took advantage of him when we were both intoxicated. What's he going to think of me now? That I'm some kind of twisted pervert?' Edd brushed his fingertips against his own lips, remembering how Eddy's lips against his own. His blush was a deep crimson red. He slowly started to get up, hoping to avoid Eddy for at least a couple of hours before they had to fix up the yard.

A cough broke Edd out of his train of thought. He looked across the room at the source of the noise. Matthew leaned against the stuffed camel, apparently was waiting for the two to wake up. The sight of the man struck terror into the heart of the teen. The room was trashed due to Eddy carelessly throwing his brother's stuff around. Matthew's personal magazines and the birth certificates of his daughters were scattered at various parts of the room. Eddy had also stolen his brother's vodka bottle while he, himself, not only encouraged Eddy to take it and dump it out, but also consumed as much of it as Eddy did. Edd hoped that he and Eddy could at least walk away from the situation with most of their teeth intact.

"So, Girlfriend," The man finally spoke, waltzing toward Edd, "How did you and Pipsqueak enjoy your first taste of alcohol? Don't try to deny it." He sat on the bed next to him. "I can smell it on both you and Pipsqueak."

Edd let out a yelp when Matthew sat on the bed, "it won't happen again! I'll make sure of it. My sentiments from the first time I met you still stand. You need to start acting like an older sibling to Eddy."

Matthew seemed unfazed by his bluntness, "I still stand about what I said about you too. You still have spunk. Challenging me is pretty cute of you, but you probably won't like the consequences if you do it too much. –Or maybe you might." Matthew jabs Edd in the chest, tauntingly. "I already know a couple of your secrets already. I'm not talking about that scar on your head either!"

"Preposterous! I do not possess any secrets," Edd lied and slapped Matthew's hand away, "Mind my personal space, you –"

"Hey, some of us were sleeping over here!" Eddy shouted irritably. Edd could tell that Eddy was as hung over as he was. Eddy was clutching his own stomach, moaning in pain

Edd turned to his friend, smiling pleasantly, "Morning Eddy." Edd put on the façade that nothing was wrong, but he was frightened of Eddy's reaction to the kiss they shared last night.

"What the hell did we do last night?" Eddy asked, "I barely remember anything after I took a shot."

"You don't remember anything?" Edd asked nervously. One side of him was relieved that Eddy forgotten the kiss they shared, but another part of him was disappointed that Eddy had forgotten. "Well, Eddy. I estimated that we probably consumed about one liter of vodka between us. Other than that, you crooned the lyrics to an Iron Butterfly song and we had lively conversation, but my memory is a bit hazy of what we discussed."

"So, in other words, last night kinda ruled!" Eddy had a satisfied look of his face. He turned and glared at his brother, "oh yeah, before I forget; Thanks for telling me that I have three nieces, dickhead!"

"Go pop a Midol, Pipsqueak! I was going to tell you and Mom until Dad started showing his ass at the dinner table," Matthew stated. "Oh yeah, Mom called when you both were asleep. They're heading all the way to the west coast to help the police follow on a lead about Princess' parents."

"My parents? My goodness! Why didn't they say anything to me about it?"

"They probably didn't want to get your hopes up in the case the lead turned out to be false," Eddy sat up, stretching out his limbs. Eddy patted Edd's back to comfort the worried teen. "Mellow out, Sockhead. Your parents are probably fine. They have my parents and the cops searching for them, so let them do their jobs." After a moment of uncomfortable silence, a crash came from the living room. "Who the hell is in my house?"

Eddy quickly got his answer when loud blubbering can be heard from the downstairs. "Take me alien mutants! Eddy! Double D! I'm sorry, guys! I was too busy with my girlfriends to spend time with you guys and now you're getting your bone marrow sipped through a straw." Ed cried choking as fat tears rolled down his face.

Edd and Eddy left the room to get Ed to stop crying, Edd putting his shirt on as they walked through the hallway. They reached the top of the stairs when Eddy yelled down towards him, "Hey Bird-brain! Up here!"

Ed turned towards the sound and his face lit up from seeing the two. The teen dashed towards his friends and crushed them in a tight hug, "I'm in my happy place, guys."

"Ed, could you please let us go," Edd patted Ed's shoulder after a few minutes of receiving a bone-crushing hug from Ed, actually glad to see Ed for the first time in a couple of weeks.

"Yeah, Lumpy! I'm about to pass out from the smell of your stinky pits," Ed let the two go with a big, goofy grin still plastered across his face. "So Casanova, how are you and your three girlfriends doing? Spill the details!"

"Ed, why don't we have a seat in the living room and you can tell us about your courtship and romantic infatuation with these girls," Edd lead Ed into the living room and sat him down on the couch. Edd was also guilty of wanting to find out more about these girls, but unlike Eddy, he just wanted to make sure that the girls were treating Ed well.

"Last night my love dumplings made buttered toast covered in gravy. It was the best gravy that I ever tasted. I felt like the guy from Venusian Paradise who was trapped on another planet and fell in love with the vicious yet misunderstood alien queens," Ed had a lost, dreamy look in his eye. The teen had fallen hard for these girls, whoever they may be.

"His girlfriends are probably three pieces of moldy cheese in his pocket named Sheila, Shelly, and Shelby! Either that or three of Rolf's chickens," Eddy joked.

"Says you!" Ed retorted.

"Prove it, Ed. I don't believe for one second that you got three girls who agreed to go out with you at the same time." Eddy folded his arms, waiting for some kind of proof of Ed's story. He was shocked when Ed removed his dark green vest and his white and red striped tee shirt. Across his chest and shoulder were various hickey marks. Eddy was speechless for a moment, "Gee Ed; I wonder who these three girls are."

"I'm not telling you."

"Why not, Romeo?"

"It's a secret!"

"Gentlemen, let's find an activity to do that has a lower probability of turning into a sexually charged conversation." Edd suggested.

"Oh! I have a videotape in my pocket!" Ed announced, reaching into his pocket and pulling out a nondescript blank VHS tape.

"That's a great idea, Ed," Edd took the videotape, "what's on this videotape, dare I ask."

"It was that one scam where we got jawbreakers at the end." Ed replied.

"Ed, there is only a handful of scams that were that successful, Ed." Edd put the VHS tape in and started flipping to channel three.

"A videotape of one of your successful scams, Pipsqueak?" Matthew sat down on couch on the other side of Eddy.

"Of course, Bro! I made so much money from quite a few scams that I amazed even myself!" Eddy bragged confidently.

Ed cowered in the sight of Matthew and screamed that Matthew was no good for him. Ed quickly grabbed the vacuum cleaner and pointed it in Matthew's face, telling him to leave his friends alone. Matthew stared at the vacuum with a bored expression on his face, not even showing the slightest hint of shock or fear of the terrified teen wielding the vacuum as if it were a sword. Eddy and Edd spent over an hour trying to calm Ed down. Both of them knew that Ed still remembered what happened at Mondo A-Go Go and wanted to protect Eddy and Edd from harm.

Matthew watched as the two consoled the scared teen. It seemed that all three of them were willing to sacrifice themselves for the safety of the other two. He figured he could use that to his own advantage. Especially with the incriminating blackmail that he had on Edd, he had enough to get Edd where he wanted him at least. He just needed to get him alone in order for his plan to work.

"Are you alright now, Monobrow?" When Ed nodded, Eddy helped him up, "Good."

Edd tossed the Kleenex that he used to wipe Ed's eyes and nose with in the garbage. He used hand sanitizer on his hands afterward. He wasn't taking a chance at catching a cold from Ed. Ed got up and pressed play on the VCR. Edd listened as a ten year old Eddy recited the infamous "if you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best" Marilyn Monroe quote. The quote somehow suited Eddy's personality quite well.

Edd remembered that scam all too well. Eddy had gotten the idea from eavesdropping on a conversation his parents had. The elder couple had gone on a date to a venue with a popular drag queen entertainer slash celebrity impersonator. Eddy believed that if he charged the kids of the cul-de-sac admission for a drag show, he would be swimming in money. He was half right. Eddy wanted to do a Marilyn Monroe impersonation but gotten stuck with doing `Material Girl' by Madonna when he couldn't find his `Gentlemen Prefer Blondes' record. While Ed and Edd wore a simple Easter tuxedo, Eddy donned a strapless pink dress that was sitting in his attic, his mother's jewelry, red lipstick, and a blonde wig.

The drag show scam was surprising successful. So much so, that the Eds were able to buy a week's worth of jawbreakers. The ridicule which Eddy received, mostly from Kevin and Sarah, the day after the scam had made Eddy swear off doing anymore drag show scams in the future. Edd turned to Eddy to see that the taller teen was beet red over the video. Matthew busting his gut at the scene didn't help relieve Eddy's embarrassment.

"Your greatest scam, huh?" Even though the only adult in the room stopped laughing, his eyes still twinkled with cruel amusement, "it looks to me like you just wanted an excuse to wear Mom's old clothes!"

"I don't wear Mom's clothes!" Eddy turned his attention back to Ed, who was putting the tape back into his vest. Eddy chased him around the living room, "just wait until I get my hands on you!"

Ed laughed as he was getting chased, "hey Eddy, why do you and Double D smell like my grandma today?"

The sight of the two had certain nostalgia to it. The scene was reminiscent of all of the times Eddy chased after Ed when some of their scams failed. Some things never change. No matter how old the Eds got or what life threw at them, their devotion would never change. After a quick shower and a fresh change of clothes, Edd looked around the house for Ed and Eddy.

"Cheesehead and Pipsqueak are working out in the yard," Eddy's brother replied.

"Thank you," The sixteen year old hoped that Ed wasn't causing too much damage in the yard. The only things that needed to be done were to rake the tire track marks on the lawn and to fix the broken fence. "Have you seen the hammer?"

"Yeah, it's upstairs in my room." Matthew gestured Edd to follow him. There was a perfect opportunity for him to execute his plan. He took in every inch of the raven-haired adolescent as he walked behind him to the room. Matthew locked the door behind him as Edd searched the room for a hammer.

Edd searched the whole room for a hammer, hoping that Matthew didn't send him on a wild goose chase like the various `treasure hunt maps' he had given Eddy years ago. He searched the room once again, only to be pushed against the wall. "Excuse you? Why on earth did you do that?"

The man had an unreadable expression on his face. He was always sort of an enigma to Edd. He wasn't sure if the man was genuinely hard to read, as most sociopaths are, or if his own mind didn't want to process the things that could be going through that man's head. The man had trapped him against the wall. Rough hands gripped his narrow hips. He could hear his own heart pounding. Matthew leaned against him and pressed their lips together. The overpowering mixture of sweat, alcohol, and cologne made the teen dizzy. The man's facial hair scratched the sensitive skin of his chin.

Edd emitted a squeak of shock. He didn't give the man any indication that he was romantically attracted to him, did he? The kiss from the man felt immoral and filthy. He had to push the man away. He just had to! He shoved the man off of him and wiped his mouth. He didn't even want to think about what kind of microorganisms that possibly lived inside of the man's mouth. "I apologize, Matthew, but I do not share your feelings."

"Is that so?" Matthew caught his breath, "saving yourself for Pipsqueak?"

"How many times do I need to inform you? Eddy and I do not have a liaison with one another. Get it through your thick skull!" Edd seethed.

Matthew grinned knowingly at him, which made Edd tremble at whatever insidious plans the 24 year old had planned for him. His stomach was already doing somersaults thinking about it. "You want it to happen though, Girlfriend." Matthew turned to his waterbed and opened up one of the under-bed dresser drawers, reaching in to get a large metal box with a combination lock. Matthew grabbed the keychain off the dresser and unlocked the lock with one of the keys. He was too paranoid to give Edd a chance to figure out the combination to the lock.

Edd peered at the metal box. From where he was standing, the sight of his hat, a couple of large rolls of cash, and various other odd trinkets filled the box. His heart stopped when Matthew pulled out a familiar notebook. He had the feeling that Matthew had something else of his besides the hat. Due to the excitement that happened within the last couple of days, it slipped his mind that his journal was in his hat.

"Most of the shit in here was boring science crap, but I found a couple of interesting entries," To Edd's horror, Matthew started reading an entry in a mock impression of him, "I'm so conflicted over my unchaste desires for Eddy. I have entertained myself with various flights of fancy of us together. This had often led to me defiling myself in masturbation sessions behind my bedroom door. It's as if I've become a slave to my own libidinous desires. I've become a lustful animal." Matthew closed the journal, "that was a pretty hot read, Sockhead Princess."

Edd was surprised that Matthew was able to read his writing without missing a beat or grabbing a dictionary. Most other people had trouble reading what they obtusely referred as "big words," but the ex-carnival worker was able to read the passage without a problem. "My private thoughts are not for your amusement. Give me that!" Edd swiped the notebook out of Matthew's hands. He had used the notebook as a way of writing down his confusion over certain matters whether it be life or scientific experiments which proven to be a bust.

"Take it. I have to wonder what Pipsqueak would think about his friend wanting to jump his bones."

"You wouldn't dare!" Edd gasped, indignantly, "Something like that would ruin the bond I have with Eddy. He would never speak to me again!"

"I don't know. Pipsqueak is my brother. As an older sibling, I have the duty to tell him. Though, I'll keep quiet if I'm offered something in return." His tone was quite suggestive.

"You abhorrent demon! You lecherous snake! You expect me to perform for your ephebophiliac fantasies in exchange for keeping one of the very few people I have in this world!" Edd shrieked, inches away from having a nervous breakdown. "Why can't you get one of the mothers of your children to sleep with you again? I mean you're probably in a committed relationship with one of them."

"The answer should be easy for you then," Matthew replied, "also, my kids moms are my exes. I only see them when I have to pick the ankle-biters up once in awhile since the idiot judge made me choose between that and paying child support payments. Now, I'm not asking you to marry my sorry ass or to fuck me in front of your precious boyfriend. Today, I'm only asking that you let me continue the kiss from earlier." Matthew kept out the part that he was planning on fucking Edd eventually, but he didn't want to scare him off.

"Fine!" Edd huffed in defeat. He sat on the bed, wanting at least a bit of comfort if he was going to allow himself to be degraded. Matthew was on him within seconds. Edd felt the man's lips against his once more. He calmed himself by keeping Eddy and Ed in his thoughts. Ed would be so lost if Eddy and he didn't get along as a result of his own feelings. If he didn't comply with the man's wishes, his secret would be revealed.

The key to any successful transaction is to start with a bold gesture to reel in the unsuspecting individual. Then that got followed up with a negotiation between two people. That was the secret to how he was a successful scam artist and how he was so successful in the dating field. Though close-mouthed kisses were dull compared to other things, the kiss was enough to get the sixteen year old entangled into Matthew's web.

A/N: Thanks for the reviews. It's nice to know what you viewers think about the story so far.