By the time Edd had a chance to go outside to help his friends; he had found Ed and Eddy slacking off in the yard. Eddy was in his Speedo swimsuit, sunbathing while Ed was pretending to be a vampire. To think Edd actually believed that those two would be working on the yard while he was blackmailed by Eddy's brother.
"My name is Ed-dula. I want to suck your blood!" Ed announced dramatically, one arm covered the lower half of his face.
"Hey, Bela Lugosi, does it look like my blood is made out of gravy to you?" Eddy turned when he heard Edd giggling at the scene, "where the fuck have you been? Lumpy and I've been waiting forever for you to come out here."
"I'm sorry gentlemen. I was taking care of my daily hygienic needs and searching for the hammer," It was partially true, but Edd could not let Eddy or Ed know what or more importantly who was keeping him from heading outside sooner. "Ah, Eddy-"
"What?" Eddy turned his head and ducked as Ed tried to take a bite out of neck, "Ed, you idiot! You almost gave me a hickey! If you bite me, I swear! I'll mail your ass to France!"
"Where I get to see someone's underpants?" Ed asked.
"Please Ed, no rhythms," Edd replied, awkwardly. "We need to start working on the yard."
"We can't do anything until my brother moves his stupid car," Eddy complained. "Go get him, Double Dee!"
Edd sweated nervously. The last place he wanted to be in the lair of the beast again. "Uh, I-I'm sure we c-can wait a bit to ask your brother for the keys to his vehicle."
"What's with you?" Eddy eyed him strangely, "if I didn't know better, I would assume that you're about as lazy as Lumpy and I are."
"I just don't feel up to it at the moment." Edd hoped that Eddy didn't notice that he wanted to avoid being alone with his brother again.
"Alright, Sockhead." Eddy yawned, "Fuck, I'm bored. I'm thinking about startin' a fake I.D. business and charging everyone twenty bucks for one."
"Really, Eddy? Can we do something that isn't against the law?" Edd suggested.
Eddy snorted, "I don't see you two slackers thinking of something."
"Eddy, we've committed many scams throughout the years. We're bound to have creative blocks." Edd suggested, placing his hand on Eddy's shoulder. Their scams may have seemed like countless efforts to make money. However, Ed, Edd, and secretly Eddy enjoyed the project side of creating new scams more than they cared about any monetary gain. Why else would they continue doing scams after failing so many times without quitting? The scams were something that the Eds shared together. Ed was the muscle who lifted objects that Eddy and Edd were too weak to be able to carry on their own. Edd came up with the blueprints, built the necessary tools for the scams, and formulated how the scam was going play out. –And Eddy was the supervisor of their scams.
"Hi Kevin!" Ed loudly greeted the motorcycle-obsessed jock that hopped over the fence. Kevin looked absolutely furious. The redhead welded a carjack and advanced towards them. The teen's face with flushed red and his eyes promised the Eds a severe beating.
Edd pulled Ed back away from Kevin. Eddy shouted at Kevin. "Geez, Shovel Chin! Who pissed in your Cheerios this morning?"
"Which one of you dorks did it?" Kevin's voice was barely audible; his body was shaking in rage.
"I honestly have no idea what you're alluding to," Edd stated. He had no idea what Kevin was infuriated about, but he was sure it had to be something serious.
"Nazz's leg is broken, Rolf's goat got ran over by that piece of shit Camaro in your yard, my fence is broken, and I'm ready to pound the dork that did it!" Kevin crackled his knuckles, hyping himself up for a possible fight, "So which one of you did it?"
"Kevin, I sympathize with your, Nazz's, and Rolf's loss, but Ed, Eddy, and I are not responsible for those horrible incidents." Edd tried to reason with him.
"Kevin boy!" Rolf shouted rushing towards his friend, wearing what appears to be a cloak made out of goat fur. "Your carrots are hardened, but are vulnerable to infestation. Do not mourn the loss of Victor and Rolf. If the Ed boys are guilty of this injustice, they owe Rolf three bags of candied beets and five chickens." Rolf's calm demeanor quickly changed as he charged towards Eddy and started to strangle him. "Confess to your crimes, murderous Ed boy and Rolf might be merciful!"
"Dude!" Kevin stared in amazement as Rolf went after Eddy.
"Rolf, control yourself!" Edd tried to pull the foreign teen away from Eddy. He silently cursed how weak he was in strength. Why did Eddy's brother have to come back and bring chaos to the cul-de-sac? They barely had anything to do with the mess, but Kevin and Rolf were going to hurt them until they started talking.
Ed caught Kevin into a tight bear hug, "don't hurt Double D and Eddy!" He kept repeating the phrase as Kevin struggled to break loose from Ed's grip. The car jack fell out of Kevin's hands and into the grass.
"Alright, that's enough! Eddy's brother is the current owner of that vehicle! He arrived at the house in the middle of the night, reeking of alcohol after he driven home from the bar." Edd shouted. He couldn't let Eddy continue to get hurt over something that his brother did. One of the puzzling things about the situation was that Eddy was willingly to let himself get hurt for his brother's sake.
Before Rolf and Kevin could process what Edd told them, a feminine shriek got their attentions, "Kev! Rolf! What is going on here? Let Eddy go!" She was in her white cheerleading shirt and a pair of spandex shorts. A large cast covered most of her right leg. She made her way towards them, using a pair of new crutches to assist her in walking. "Ed, Edd, and Eddy didn't do it. I seen Eddy's brother driving that car." Rolf quickly let go of Eddy while Ed released Kevin. Eddy coughed as he was able to breathe again.
"Nazz, how much damage was done to the cul-de-sac as a result of Matt- Eddy's brother's reckless driving?" Edd asked, afraid of the answer.
"Dude, the playground and part of the Lane is completely destroyed." Nazz started to tell them what happened the night before. Nazz was walking home from her night shift at the diner and used the playground as a shortcut home. Rolf was walking his goat around near the road. Nazz heard Rolf's screams as his goat became the first causality of Matthew's destructive path back home. Nazz took cover on top of the slide, which she gotten thrown off of when the slide became the next target, explaining how she ended up with her broken leg.
"Oh dear!" Edd went to Eddy's side and examined the handprints on Eddy's neck. He wanted so badly to tell Eddy that his brother would only bring further misfortune to them, but he stopped himself, realizing that Eddy was in extreme denial over his brother. Eddy constantly made excuses over his brother's callous mistreatment of him throughout the years. Even after what happened at Mondo A-Go Go, Eddy still wouldn't step up to his own brother.
Neither one of the Eds dared to speak unless they had to. Tensions were high enough without them adding to it. Surprisingly, Rolf also remained quiet. Nazz limped towards Kevin. "Dude, you, like, need to watch your temper. I know you wanted to help me and Rolf, but there are better ways to do it, dude. I need help carrying extra stuff around my house for the next month. Think you would be able to do it, Kev?" The smile on her was warm and friendly. Kevin melted from the sight of that smile alone.
"Of course, Nazz," Kevin replied, feeling nervous, "let's head back to my house and get you some ice cream or something." The redhead practically swooned over the blond as he did when he first laid eyes upon her years ago.
Nazz giggled, "You're funny! I'll take you up on that ice cream offer."
"Righteous. I'll see you a few. I need to tell Rolf something first."
"Alright, I'll be waiting at your place," Nazz waved to Rolf and the Eds as she headed in the direction of Kevin's house.
"Oh ho! Kevin boy is finally to confess his love for Go-Go Nazz girl!" Rolf teased, both of them ignoring the fact that the shell-shocked Eds could hear their conversation.
"It's not like that, man," Kevin rubbed the back of his own neck, nervously, "I'm just doing her a favor, man."
"Sure, Kevin-boy! When is Rolf expected to receive wedding invitation?" Rolf grinned at Kevin's blush.
"Hey, can't a guy get one lousy shower without listening to you ankle-biters' high-pitch whines all the way from the bathroom?" Matthew stood outside the back door in only a silk bathrobe and a pair of plaid boxers. The males in the McGee household had an extremely different view on modesty than what Edd was accustomed to. Edd's father would've scowled him for the things that Eddy walked around outside in on several occasions.
Kevin lost all color in his face, but still tried maintain the façade of confidence and bravery, "Hey, bro guy! Nazz broke her leg and Rolf lost his goat, because of you! I should start giving you some just desserts."
"If he's going to be giving Eddy's brother a cake, can I have one too?" Ed asked.
Eddy yanked down on Ed's ear and hissed, "Shut up, Ed!" Glancing around the yard, he hoped that fight doesn't break out his yard. He was still too hung over to deal with the drama that his own brother stirred up in the neighborhood. If he sided with the neighbors, he faced whatever physical abuse his brother could dish out on him when he was home. If he sided with his brother, he faced whatever abuse the neighbors dished out when he dared to venture the neighborhood he grew up in. The situation was like trying to decide if he would rather get dick chopped off or have his testicles removed.
"Yeah, I don't give a rat's ass about your little girlfriend or your little boyfriend's animals. If you think that you can take me on, go ahead, but I'm not responsible when you find yourself in the hospital."
"Gentlemen, can we find another way to resolve this issue without resorting to barbarism?" Edd's pleas fell on deaf ears.
"Let's how you say `even the playing field'" Rolf removed his shirt, preparing himself to fight Eddy's brother.
"So which one of you girls want to play uncle first?" Matthew asked, ominously.
Terror was written across Kevin's face. The only time they have seen Kevin act like that was when Eddy had found out about Kevin's fear of needles in middle school and decided torment him over it. "I h-have to go, Rolf! I'll catch you later," Kevin ran back to his house without a second glance.
"Kevin! Why you run with tail between legs like one of Rolf's chickens?" Rolf called out to his friends retreating form and faced Matthew, "a black curtain has befallen the cul-de-sac. The grim face of death mocks the son of a shepherd and his livestock with his beady black eyes and goatee." Rolf feared Matthew as much as the rest of them did and ran in the direction that Kevin headed, "wait for Rolf!"
"God, I hate foreigners," Matthew muttered under his breath. He grinned at the three Eds who were still backed into the corner of the yard like three small mice that were about to become the next meal of a ball python. "Relax. Unlike the rest of these goodie-two-shoes in this dump, you three actually know your place. Anyway, I'm about to order pizza and movies later. I figured us four can hang out until then."
Eddy grinned nervously, "sure, Bro! That sounds awesome!"