Author's Note: I heard this song and immediately thought of Iden watching Laurel walking off with Jedrek and what he would be thinking. This is "Fight Test" by The Flaming Lips.
Iden's Song
There was Lady Laurel. Beautiful to look at, to listen to, to talk with, to kiss… But she was now unattainable. Anything I ever felt for her I have to give up now. I must. She didn't respond to any of my words, to my outbursts, to my touch. I gave up because she told me to, and I decided to let her win. For the moment. Then maybe she would realize that she wanted me.
I thought I was smart
I thought I was right
I thought it better not to fight
I thought there was a virtue, in always being cool
So it came time to fight
I thought "I'll just step aside"
And that the time would prove you wrong
And that you would be the fool
I knew that bastard that she was clinging to was up to no good. I didn't know him personally, but stories don't cling to people for no reason. He had a reputation as a wild card kind of fighter—he always managed to get the job done, but sometimes it was messy. I don't trust him. I don't trust him with her.
I don't know what to do about it.
I don't know where the sunbeams end
And the starlight begins
It's all a mystery
Oh. To fight is to defend
If it's not now then tell me when
Would be the time
That you would stand up and be a man
For to lose I could accept
But to surrender I just wept
And regretted this moment
oh that
I was the fool
I didn't know what to do. I gave up. She didn't choose him. I took myself out of the picture too quickly. I should have been more persistent. I should have used cool logic to turn that sensible girl's head, and then I should have used hot passion to capture her heart.
I don't know where the sunbeams end
And the starlight begins
It's all a mystery
And I don't know how a man decides
What's right for his own life
It's all a mystery
'Cause I'm a man, not a boy
And there are things you can't avoid
You have to face them
When you're not prepared to face them
I didn't have time to think it out. It happened so fast. I thought I had more time to win her to my side and then that letter came. Then my temper got in the way. I let my own pride keep me from saving her.
If I could I would
But you're with him, now it'd do no good
I should've fought him
But instead I let him
I let him take it
I gave up. I surrendered. I fed her to a wolf because I was sulking. I should have done what was best for her. Instead I nursed my own hurts.
We would both pay for it now.
