*I'm including two songs in this chapter of my fic, because I think it's appropriate to the story and they portray Dean's emotions. And John, Sam and Dean are all Out of character I know so no need to state the obvious! Please Read and Review!
Disclaimer: Don't own the songs; the characters; the show, only the plot of the story J
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Dean had been sitting in the car for about 10 minutes now, composing himself and getting his emotions under control. He looked in the mirror "Damn I look like shit." he thought. His face was red, and his hair was disheveled. He decided if he wanted to get to Washington unnoticed that he couldn't look like someone whose rage could blow any minute. He turned the radio on until he found a song that fit his current mood. "This is messed up" he thought as he turned on the radio and the song that came out was his mood exact".
So sick of hearing your words
All I can hear you say
Is how you want me to live
My life a different way
I'm gonna pack up my things
I'm gonna do it just
Watch me, watch me
I'm like a rat in a cage
About to lose it all
And I ain't gonna give up until I'm standing tall
I'm gonna throw it all in
Just get it over with
Watch me, watch me
Cuz life is way too short
And I can't wait no more
Here I go
I'm gone, I'm going
I'm so over you, and I don't care
And I wont go back
Cuz I know if I do, I wont make it
Forgive me, I can't take it anymore
So sick of falling apart and crawling back again
So sick of playing the games that I can never win
I really had it, just so so sick of it
Watch me, just watch me
Cuz life is just way too short
And I can't wait anymore
Here I go
I'm gone, I'm going
I'm so over you, and I don't care
And I wont go back
Cuz I know if I do, I wont make it
Forgive me, I can't take it anymore
I wont look back
I wont look back no more
Hey
So here I go,
I'm gone, I'm going
I'm so over you, and I don't care
And I wont go back
Cuz I know if I do, I wont make it
Forgive me, I can't take it anymore
He tapped his fingers in tune to the music, it's been about 4 hours since his little "realization" moment, and he was beginning to feel very tired. He had pulled off the interstate about 1 hour prior, because the traffic was just too unreal. He was on Route 66, and no other cars were in site. He was singing along to "Eye of the Tiger" focused on the lyrics, but in that time he hadn't noticed, hell he hadn't had the time to notice the drunk driver as they crossed over the yellow line and into his lane. He looked up one second too late and was unconscious before the car stopped spinning.
Springfield Illinois:
"Thanks for meeting us Bobby." Said John. "Ya we really appreciate it." Agreed Sam.
"Shut yer traps, ya'll know I'm here for ya whenever you need, it. Now let's git focused." Said Bobby.
Sam had been sitting in the bedroom area of the run-down motel they were staying, his father and Bobby were in the kitchen discussing possibilities, and sitting where he was he could hear that they were useless, if Dean didn't want to be found, then he wouldn't. And Sam got to thinking "if this is what Dean wants… Then why can't I be happy for him?" He walked out into the kitchen to tell his father and Bobby what he was thinking, and he would MAKE them listen if he had to.
His father and Bobby were deep in thought as he walked into the room. "Dad" he questioned. His father didn't seem to hear him so he tried again, louder this time "Dad?" John turned around to look at Sammy. "What is it son?" he asked.
"I've been thinking…and please hear me out here, But if this makes Dean happy dad then why should we stop him? He's spent his entire life protecting me with no regard for himself, he took care of you and I when he himself was hurt or sick, he's sacrificed everything. He's 24 years old for god's sake if he wants to make his own decisions then who are we to stop him? Maybe the hunt just isn't the way he wants to go." he stated with finality.
John sat at the table looking at Sam thoughtfully, Bobby on the other hand was sitting in the chair, mouth agape looking back and forth from Sam, to John waiting for what would come next. At last it was John who broke the awkward silence.
"You're right Sam." he stated.
"I Am?" Sam said, obviously shocked that his father had agreed with him!
"He is?" Said Bobby with the same look of shock on his face that Sam had.
"Yes." John said chuckling without humor. "He's a grown man and if this was his decision, then we should try to respect it, what if we find him? How are we going to force him to stay with us? I'd give up the hunt for him any day just to have him here with us, but it doesn't look as if that's going to happen."
"What do we do now dad?" asked Sam. "We move on Sam, if Dean wants to contact us then he has our numbers." John surmised.
Little did either of them realize that Dean had taken his cell phone with him, and in his current predicament, it could be of use.
Back with Dean:
Dean opened his eyes and looked shakily around, he was sitting in what was left of the impala, the driver had hit him head on. Dean wasn't aware of much except for the blinding pain in 90% of his body. "Gotta…get…gotta…get…" Dean was trying to think rationally but that was very difficult considering the concussion he sustained, the concussion however was the least of his worries as far as his injuries were concerned.
"I'm dying" he realized with frightening clarity, it was then he remembered "Oh God! Dad, Sam… I… I don't wanna die, not like this, God Please forgive me." He sobbed. "I didn't mean to leave them, everything has been just… so hard to deal with!." It was then he remembered that he had brought his cell phone with him. As much as he wanted to call Sammy and his father he realized it'd be better to call 911 first.
"911, What's your emergency?" the operator asked.
Dean spoke aloud for the first time. "Hurt…bad…accident." he waited about 30 seconds to the operators continual questioning, giving her just enough time to trace his call while he wasn't responding, he then hung up the phone, knowing that help was on the way.
With all the energy he had left he shook his head slightly trying to get the blur of numbers to in to focus he then held number 2 on his phone for speed dial-- it was Sam's number.
I open my eyes
I try to see but I'm blinded by the white light
I can't remember how
I can't remember why
I'm lying here tonight
And I can't stand the pain
And I can't make it go away
No I can't stand the pain
How could this happen to me
I made my mistakes
I've got no where to run
The night goes on
As I'm fading away
I'm sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me
Everybody's screaming
I try to make a sound but no one hears me
I'm slipping off the edge
I'm hanging by a thread
I wanna start this over again
So I try to hold onto a time when nothing mattered
And I can't explain what happened
And I can't erase the things that I've done
No I can't
How could this happen to me
I made my mistakes
I've got no where to run
The night goes on
As I'm fading away
I'm sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me
I made my mistakes
I've got no where to run
The night goes on
As I'm fading away
I'm sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me
In both states:
The men had decided amongst themselves that they would indeed leave Dean in peace, if that was what he wanted, they were searching for possible hunts in the local area, trying to get their minds off of Dean when Sam felt a strange sensation in his front pocket. It was then he realized that his phone was vibrating!
He jumped off of the bed with such urgency that is caught both his father and Bobby's attention. "Jesus kid what is it? You got ants in your.." Sam cut Bobby off with two words "It's Dean."
John jumped off of the bed and Sam gave him the phone. "Dean?" he questioned. He was met by silence. He assumed right away that Dean didn't want to talk to him, when in reality Dean was glad it was his father that answered and not Sam, he couldn't bear for Sam to hear him right now.
"Dean?" John tried again. He was about to hang up when he heard a noise that got his attention. It was a weird guttural cry of help, a cross between a moan and a scream of agony. It tore at his heart as he realized his oldest son was in pain and he wasn't there for him.
"Dean?" John prompted. "Dad…" Dean said. And John finally released the breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding. "Soorryyy…." Dean stuttered. "Want to come….come home… but I don't think… that'll be happening…I'm sooo sorry plleeaasseee dad tell… Sammy, I'm sorry." "Dean, Get it together son." John demanded, knowing that although his tone was harsh it would get Dean's attention and he would know more about the situation. "Where are you? And What Happened."
"On Route….66 outside of Pierre…South Dakota." His words were beginning to slur and he realized he now heard sirens. Breathing was becoming increasingly difficult, he used his last breath to finish his fathers request. "Bbbaddd accidenttt"
John's heart just about leapt out of his throat when he began talking and realized that Dean wasn't answering him, he heard sirens in the background and was a bit relieved knowing that help was there and Dean was no longer alone. The firefighters were working to release Dean from the carnage of the impala when one of them noticed he had the phone in his hand.
The firefighter handed it to one of the police officers who looked at it and realized the call was connected. "Hello?" he said "Who am I speaking with?" Demanded John. "And what is going on with my son?" "My name is Officer Fellows, I'm with the Anden county sheriff's department. Is the victim in the car your son?" "Yes he is and I'd like to know what hospital your taking him to" John demanded.
"He is going to be airlifted to Pierre General…" The officer began but was cut short when he noticed that the man on the other line had hung up.
John quickly relayed what had happened to Bobby and Sam who were anxious as ever as they heard John talking. They decided that they would take John's truck straight through to South Dakota and that they could probably reach South Dakota by noon tomorrow, they would alternate drives, giving everyone a chance to rest.
They quickly checked out of the hotel and began the long ride to Pierre.
Back With Dean:
"What've we got John?" said Paramedic Roy DeSoto as he looked at his partner.
"From what I can tell victim has multiple broken ribs, diminished breath sounds in right lung, probable pneumothorax, abdomen is rigid and distended, possible internal injuries, definite concussion, dislocated shoulder, and unknown spinal injuries." John informed his partner.
They used infinite care as they inserted and esophageal airway into the young man, they then put the c-collar on and transported him cautiously onto the backboard. By the time they had him packaged for transport the helicopter had arrived, they tucked him safely inside and began the journey to the hospital bearing, precious cargo.