When this thing breaks.

I will be you

You will be me.

I pray that this is really happening

When this thing breaks.

I will be you

You will be me.

Let's hope this is short lived and riddled with disease

Underoath - Desperate times, Desperate measures

Chapter 9: Worth Dying For

Wide sapphire eyes watched as blood dark as ink poured down his blemished cheeks. Naruto could feel each and every broken bone, and fractured ligament in his tattered body. Yet he knew the very substance dribbling down his face was not his own.

Starring wide eyed at the being who, not just ten seconds ago was trying to lob off his head, stumbled back until she backed into a wall, stopping her progress.

Her body was bent over with a defiant smirk straining across her face, and a blade running straight through her chest. She leaned against the wall for support, until her legs gave out and she slowly slid down the wall.

In many ways the two looked alike. Both were bruised and their breathing was ragged. Both were covered in blood, with the others sword piercing through their body.

Naruto licked his cracked lips and gulped. For a brief moment, he smiled sadly at the woman who considered herself his biological mother. That brought on a whole new train of thought for the demon vessel.

What if she really was his mother? Naruto wanted to scoff at the idea, but then what could explain her sparing his life and mortally wounding herself in the process? Why now did she have a calm and serene aura about her? When before, it was dark, evil, and reeked of insanity.

Naruto could only guess at what had caused such changes. His thin lips turned up into a bitter smile as he gazed intensely at the person crowding his every thought.

"Why?" Was all Naruto could whisper, before his throat cracked and a coughing fit racked his body. Kushina chuckled at her child before blood followed and flooded her mouth with its salty, metallic taste. She gagged on the vile liquid, until her mouth opened and she spit the wretched substance out.

"I love you." Kushina spoke softly, a look of intense concentration on her face as she tried to hold back the coughs clawing their way up her throat.

Naruto was stunned, knowing it was impossible, yet he still believed her. He truly believed what she said. He could feel the warmth radiating off of her. His resolve was shaken as he now looked at the beautiful goddess in a different view.

"None of this makes sense." Naruto was surprised his voice was no longer hoarse. He could feel strength returning to his weakened soul. His throat was no longer burning with the feeling of a blade digging at the edges every time he tried to speak. He still could not will any of his limbs to move, but the overwhelming pain had begun to dull.

Kushina's emerald eyes gazed into his own sea blue. She forced her body to stand, then limped her way to Naruto. Her legs were feeble and weak as she pushed her overexerted muscles. She stumbled before losing all remaining strength and falling to the floor.

Naruto tried to move in order to catch her, but his body was unresponsive. She hit the ground hard, a shock running through her body as she landed in front of her son.

"Are you okay?" Naruto asked, his voice barely a whisper.

Tears gathered in Kushina's eyes, her son, who denied his own heritage, was concerned for her well being. It brought a smile to her face, as her eyes stared at her child's exhausted form, his hands gripping the blade in his chest.

"I'm fine." Kushina replied. She reached out and briefly ran her hand over Naruto's whiskered cheek. After a few seconds her ghostly touch left his skin, her arm fell back to her side.

Naruto could feel tears building at the corners of his eyes. So, he closed his eyes and washed them away, before they could fall.

A few droplets managed to escape, sliding down Naruto's face to his chin, where they hung on for a few seconds before falling and becoming lost within the pool of blood accumulating beneath both mother and son.

The blondes left arm began twitching as a little feeling was beginning to return. He tried to move his fingers, but instead his arm twitched even more uncontrollably.

Kushina watched her child try to move and she could see the tear streaks staining his gorgeous face. She reached out again putting one hand on his left arm and the other to his cheek.

The second Naruto felt his mother's cold touch return to his burning skin, his arm stopped shaking, and numbness consumed all the aches throughout his body.

Naruto had never felt like this before, so at ease and safe. Just the gentle, protective hold Kushina had on him made him feel strange. Without his knowing, his eyes had closed and he was unconsciously leaning towards the woman who had almost succeeded in decapitating him.

Kushina wrapped her arm securely around her son's neck and leaned down to his ear.

"Listen, I have much to explain, and little time to do so." She whispered hoarsely .

Naruto's eyes shot open and he looked at Kushina with a confused expression. The blonde watched as she shook her head and chuckled.

"As much as I would like to stay with you I can't." Naruto felt even more confused than before.

"Why do you have to leave?" Naruto didn't consider the fact that she had been trying to kill him and take over his soul.

"Before I go, you need to know everything. Listen carefully, my sweet Naruto-kun, for I will not be able to repeat myself." Kushina said, ignoring her sons question.

Naruto's eyes were practically glued to his mother's form as she spoke in a soft and quiet tone.

"I hope you understand that I never wanted any of this, I always wished I would be able to help you grow up into a fine shinobi of the leaf." Kushina turned away from him and stared at the sunset.

"But, its seems we were cursed the day we decided to raise you in that god forsaken place." Blood slid down her hands as she clenched her fists so hard, that the nails were broke her skin.

"Ever since that day when the Kyuubi attacked Konoha…everything changed." Kushina's voice sounded hollow as she relieved the nightmarish night that had caused the destruction of her family.

"I'm so sorry we left you all alone Naruto. Both your father and I loved you with all of our hearts." Naruto blinked, stunned, as his mind comprehended the words she had just spoken.

"Who…who was my father?" He wanted to know. No, he needed to know who the man, that had left him to suffer the wrath of a village, was. How could anyone allow there child to be used as a scapegoat while they probably enjoyed a happy and joyous life?

She turned back to Naruto's trembling form. "Forgive me, but I cannot tell you."

A healthy glare was directed at her as Naruto's iris's bled to their crimson hue.

"I wish I could but…" She paused and looked down to hide her pained expression.

"Don't I have the right to know who the SON OF BITCH IS!? He left me to rot in that miserable place, where I received nothing but animosity and Hatred! If you really are my mother then do me this one favour…I beg of you!"

Naruto's voice fell to a whisper once again, his throat was aching from all of the shouting he was doing. Kushina felt as if her heart was being ripped in two, listening to her boys pain filled question. She desperately wanted to tell him all about his father and his unbelievable exploits, but she couldn't. It would only create more hatred within him, and she did not want to die knowing her child hated his father.

"I'm sorry, my child, but I must leave you again." Naruto felt his heart wrench in his chest.

She leaned forward and planted a loving kiss on his cheek. Naruto barely noticed as she ripped the steel in his chest out immediately after. She placed the hilt in the palm of his hands and forced him to close his fingers around it.

"You know what to do." She whispered as she lowered her head.

Tears welled up and slipped over the edge of his eyelids, and he immediately masked his face while tightening his grip around the blade, his hands shaking. He stood up with the blade still pointing towards Kushina.

"Please…" Naruto whispered. "Please don't leave me." The words were spoken so softly Kushina almost didn't hear them.

"I will always be with you Naruto-kun." Kushina said also rising to her feet. "As long as you remember me, I'll never disappear." She smiled sadly at him and closed her eyes. Her breathing evened out and when her eyes opened again her mind was decided. She flung herself forward, before Naruto could react, and engulfed him in a hug. Her arms were squeezing Naruto tightly and she rested her head on his chest.

"You fool, why did you do this?" Naruto spit harshly at his mother.

"Only one of us can exist…Goodbye, my baby boy. I love you." Kushina's body went limp in Naruto's arms. Her bright emerald eyes glazed over as she exhaled her last breathe.

Naruto held her close, ignoring the extra blood drenching the rest of his body. Pain, like a blender was tearing his insides apart. Tears fell, and Naruto did nothing to prevent them this time. Instead, he let out all of his pain and screamed for all he was worth.

"No, No, No, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO. Don't leave me, Mother please…not again…I don't want to be alone anymore." Naruto yelled at the lifeless body in his arms. He began shaking her, as if she were only sleeping and she would wake up.

Naruto's eyes widened in shock as he gazed at his blood stained hands. His whole body began to shake, a look of pure terror settling onto the blondes face. He killed her. It was all done deliberately by his mother, but that didn't change the fact, or rid himself of the grief, knowing that he had dealt the final blow.

"I wanted to forget this...this loneliness. All the sadness that has been eating me away, piece by piece, my entire life…why did you, of all people, have to add more? Why...why…WHY?!"

Naruto did not move from his position for several minutes. He just cradled the woman in his tanned arms and wept.

After what seemed like days, but could possibly have been only a few minutes, he gently laid Kushina down on the ruined floorboards. His hand rested on her face for a moment, and he smiled a brilliant and dazzling smile at her. His hand ran down her tear stained cheeks to her bloodied chest, where two blades had pierced cleanly through her. One closer to her belly, but the other blade had been stabbed through where her heart would be.

Gently, Naruto removed both identical blades from her body. He leaned down and planted a kiss on her forehead. "I will always love you, Kaasan."

Naruto stumbled backwards, surprise written across his face, as the body in front of him morphed and changed into burning crimson energy. It boiled and crackled until the entire body evaporated and nothing remained of his mother.

Naruto didn't make a sound as the inferno surrounded him and latched unto his skin. He watched silently as it engulfed his entire body, forcing itself to combine with him. Naruto grunted and fell to his knees, as his strength left him. Hissing through the agony of the burning energy, he used all of his remaining strength to stand to his feet.

One thought was running through his head as his body was being roasted alive.

'Kyuubi…your such a show off.' He thought to himself as his vision was getting hazy. His eyes slowly got heavier and heavier, until darkness consumed him and he crashed to the ground, unconscious.

A man with blonde hair reaching his shoulders and wearing the Hokage's robes entered the hospital wing, where his darling wife had just given birth to their precious child.

Minato watched as his wife's breathing became erratic and weak. Her chest was barely rising and her complexion looked so pale. Tears were gathered in his cerulean orbs but he refused to let them fall, he was, after all, a shinobi and current Hokage of Konoha, the strongest of the five nations.

With the training of only the most experienced of ninja, he silently approached his wife's bedside without a sound echoing through the room.

His left hand came out from underneath his robes and he pushed away a strand of her crimson locks that was matted to her forehead. Minato noted that her face was covered in sweat and there was so much blood staining the white hospital sheets she was laying on.

"Kushina." His voice was filled with sadness as he quietly called out to his wife. "Kushina, you have to wake up, there's someone here who wants to meet you."

Her eyes slowly opened and locked onto her husbands blurry form. She knew from that moment that something was wrong, the awkward stance and the look on his face told her that much.

"What's. wrong? Where...where is he… Minato?" Minato almost broke down right there in front of her at the sound of her hoarse voice.

"Everything's fine love, he's right here. He's been waiting for you to wake up." Minato said soothingly, as he produced a small bundle from underneath his Hokage battle robes.

Naruto was laid gently into her awaiting arms, where he was held weakly against her chest. Kushina smiled as she gazed at her sons small form and bright sea blue eyes. To her he was the most beautiful thing in the entire world.

"Naruto…my sweet baby boy." The mother shinobi murmured softly.

That was the last thing Kushina saw as her eyes closed and she died holding her newborn son.

Everything was black. Kushina's eyes roamed around in circles, as she observed the only village she would ever call her true home. The place where she fell in love, got married and gave birth to a beautiful, healthy baby boy. Except now, everything was different, this place was wrong.

It was no longer the Konoha she remembered, it had changed significantly. She did not remember the world ever being so dark and bland. This place held no color, it was all black and white. At first, Kushina had expected that her current surroundings were the cause of a powerful genjutsu. That idea was tossed away at once when she tried numerous times to release herself. She tried everything to escape, but nothing would work.

After a few minutes of sitting on the hospital bed where she had awoken a thought crossed her mind. Naruto, where was her child? Getting up, she made her way through the hospital room and into the hallway. As she ventured down, through the deserted halls, she had to wonder where all the doctors and nurses had gone.

There were plenty of people working when she was admitted to the Hospital, but now it seemed as though everyone had left to find a better place for shelter.

Kushina held in a gasp when she reached the entrance and ventured outside. So much destruction and dead bodies. Her eyes widened as she stared at the body of a young man, probably no older then twenty. This wasn't the cause of her concern, most ninja expected to die at such a young age. This man was lucky to have lived as long as he had. No, what shocked her was that his blood the usual scarlet liquid that she had grown so accustom to, was black.

She walked aimlessly through Konoha, examining all of the wreckage and chaos that the Kyuubi had caused. This was the only option left to her now. To wander until, hopefully, death would claim her...that or insanity. She had never felt so alone in a village that used to be filled with so much life.

Kushina did not know what was happening, and, frankly, it scared her. What worried the red head was that it seemed no one could see her: that she was a ghost. She had run into a group of civilians abandoning their homes to escape the great demons wrath.

Numerous times she had offered her assistance to help the villagers, but they acted as if she simply did not exist. Kushina was a good shinobi with a caring heart, but the one thing she could not stand was being ignored. So, her reaction to the situation was expected. She marched up to the group and tried to grab a man by the collar of his shirt. Instead, her hand had simply passed through, as if he was nothing but air.

After that incident, she had tested herself and discovered she could pass through anything: buildings, trees, people. This is how she came to the conclusion that she had died on October 10th. The day she gave birth to a blond haired boy named Naruto. Grasping her chest, she fell to her knees and sobbed. It was just too much to take.

For the rest of her son's life, he would celebrate his birthday by mourning the loss of the parents he never knew. She knew all about her husband, the Yondaime Hokage's, plan to defeat the unstoppable force waiting just outside the gates of Konoha. So, she was certain that the village would survive this tragedy at the lose of only a few hundred shinobi and their current leader.

The world had never seemed as dark to her as it did right now. She had never been afraid of the dark. In fact, she used to welcome it. Darkness was a ninja's greatest asset, they could hide easier and it made assassinations child's play. Now, however, this looming darkness was not welcomed nor wanted. She loathed it. Just once, she wanted to see the hair that was brighter than the sun, those eyes that rivaled the sea in color, the smile that no other could match and the touch that warmed her heart and soul.

Kushina eyes widened slightly and shifted to the direction she could see the great demon was situated.

Her feet started moving, taking her closer to the battlefield, where her husband would be facing off against the demon.

Something was twitching in the back of her head, and just so happened to be drawing her to the two people she wanted to see the most. As she drew closer to her husband's location, she could see the toad boss Gamabunta.

On the very top off the chief toad's head, a bright glow was illuminating around the form of a man. Kushina felt a shock run through her and the next instant she was atop of the amphibian. The glow was getting brighter with each second that passed. Moving closer,

Kushina saw her husband standing still with ghostly arms coming out of his chest.

It felt as if she could feel the presence of death itself from him. A babies cry broke her from her stupor, and she rushed to Minato's side. Again, she was graced with the gorgeous tiny form of her beloved son. Wrapping her ghostly arms around him she closed her eyes, before a bright flash covered the entire battlefield.

When the light receded, all that remained was the body of the deceased Hokage and the crying infant in his arms.

Kushina's head was spinning when she finally woke up. Clutching her aching skull, she looked around her new surroundings. She was in an empty room that was flooded with water. Trekking through the knee deep liquid, she eventually discovered a see through mirror that was displaying the previous Hokage, Sarutobi Hiruzen, with a frown marring his aged face.

For the next few years, Kushina would stay in this same room locked inside of Naruto's mind, watching his life unfold before her eyes.

She could feel their hatred through the cold stares and their spiteful words. They were all around her, yelling and cursing her very existence. There was almost no light or life left within her. Over six years of dealing with the emotional abuse of the villagers of Konoha was driving her insane. She could never rest, she was always awake and living through a nightmare. Loneliness consumed her whole and was picking her apart. She knew this was just the beginning of her long existence of suffering.

Glancing around, there was no one around. It seemed Naruto had escaped the hoodlums chasing him and made it to a dark alleyway to hide. Kushina watched as he deemed it safe enough to head home to the apartment the Hokage had paid for him to live in, after he was thrown out of the orphanage. Kushina slowly approached the mirror feeling slightly self-conscious.

A teenager jumped out a nearby store and grabbed Naruto before he could escape and pinned him to the ground. Kushina closed her eyes and screamed as she felt so much anger and hatred consume her. So much she wanted to just stop and let all of the pain leave, but that was not possible. She was not about to let those foolish villagers corrupt her son and turn him into a monster. So with tears streaming down her face she once again consumed Naruto's darkest emotions. Only so he could keep his innocence and live each day with that smile that could brighten the night.

She had decided long ago she would endure all the emotional trauma, for the sake of the child she loves with all her heart. That didn't stop a small part of her from breaking away from these thoughts, nor did it stop it from starting to hate the being that was causing her life to be a living hell.

After another six long, torturous years passed Kushina's mind split into two personalities. One that adored the demon vessel and another that wished for nothing more then to see him screaming as he died a slow and painful death by her hands. With each day that passed, the dark side slowly overpowered the other.

Kyuubi stood grinning at the blonde haired clone of himself. "Finally awakened, have we?" Naruto was sitting in front of the fox with his head buried in his hands.

"She was protecting me Kyuubi. SHE WENT THROUGH HELL…because of me." Naruto accepted the offered limb from Kyuubi and used the fox's arm to pull himself from the cold floor.

Kyuubi snorted at the blond. "A mother's love is a crazy and unpredictable thing." Grunting in agreement, Naruto stared at the being across from him.

"She said you were dead. So then, how are…" Naruto paused as Kyuubi held up his hand.

"Even after she told you to pay attention, you still didn't listen to her words carefully, did you?" Naruto knew it wasn't a question.

"Well, do you remember the part where she said only one can exist?" Naruto nodded his head.

"She was referring to me, not you." Kyuubi smirked at Naruto's shocked expression.

"Yes, idiot. She knew the evil within her would take control again. So, she sacrificed herself to safe you." Kyuubi pointed at Naruto to illustrate his point. "She was a danger to the both of us as long as she existed within you!"

Naruto felt as if his mind would explode if he had to deal with any more surprises today. His attention returned to his father's chuckling form as he stared curiously at him.

"What's so fucking hilarious?" Naruto questioned curiously.

"Nothing…just...that...you have a very…pissed off group of hollows waiting for you outside." Kyuubi struggled to say as he continued laughing at Naruto's misfortune.

"What the hell are you going on about?" Instead of answering, Kyuubi flashed a toothy grin before waving his hand, flinging the blonde out of his mindscape.

Naruto blinked, and his carbon copy was replaced with his Sensei. Aizen was slightly panting and his captain robes were torn and burnt. In other words, it looked like he had just fought off all of Soul Society.

Naruto turned and finally noticed that they were outside and the surrounding area was littered with scorch marks and craters. Both he and Aizen were standing in the middle of a ring of hollows that surrounded them, and they were all staring at him like he was going to attack them at any moment.

"Naruto-kun, you always seem to find a way to impress me." Aizen said his astonishment visible.

"Hmmm…and what exactly have I done this time to earn your praise Sensei?" Naruto asked as he turned back to the smiling shinigami.

"Ahh…now that's too easy of a question Naruto-kun." Aizen said. "I'm sure, if you took the time to examine your appearance, you'd have a better understanding of my surprise."

Naruto stared at the grinning shinigami before averting his eyes down to his body, and he was shocked.

I really had no other choice but to end it here I swear. (Laughs when no ones looking)

Okay, now I would greatly appreciate it if people would respond and tell me how I did with explaining the drastic change in Naruto's personality.

Basically to summarize it; Kushina was drawn into the seal with the Kyuubi, but she was sealed to a different part of Naruto. As he grew up, Kushina was absorbing all of Naruto's dark emotions and feelings so he wouldn't lose his innocence at such a young age. Basically, that's my reason to why he was so cheerful in life and now he's much darker in death. Since Kushina is no longer protecting him, thus the reason he can kill and feel almost no emotion doing so.

Well, that was truly a headache to write since I had to cover character development which I suck at. I know it was probably boring without the fight scenes, but every chapter can't be filled with action. Until next time read, review and tell me how much you love me.

Before I go I almost forgot to mention about the new forum that has been started by LD 1449. Basically it's a place for author's to discuss ideas and to help each other to write and improve on there stories. The link can be found in my profile at the top, since for some reason I'm not able to post it here.