*Snort* -Scitah

Sally shook her head, "Vance… You can't treat Vance exactly like another guy. You gotta think of him as a half and half… But mostly as a chick. He'll get offended often and easily and is often easily embarrassed… His feelings are more out there, so he will get tired of them being handled oddly by a bunch of guys." she said, washing dishes now.

"He's a girl" Norton, Peanut and Ricky said at the same time with a heavy sigh.

Vance was sitting on the couch looking pout-y.

Eva blinked, "You alright?" pocketing his hands as he stood by the opposite wall from Vance.

Sally nodded, "Yes, but you gotta be a little nicer to him. Otherwise he'll start hording pans under his bed to beat people with. Y'catch my drift?"

"Not if we made all the pans in the world into a fortress and hid in it." Norton grinned.

"We could keep count of all the pans and if one went missing it would be all Vance's fault!" Ricky added.

"And then we'd beat him with pans! It would be a pan-war!" Peanut agreed- grinning. Now they were just being stupid.

Vance nodded, "Yeah. Just touchy."

Sally turned slowly to the guys, then nodded oddly before putting Hal between her and them, "They'll eat you first so I can make a run for it."

Eva smiled kindly, "I understand. They think you're never going to get laid, you know?"

"Heeyyyy!!" Hal whined, "Not funny!"

He nodded, "Yeah.." he sighed heavily "I think so too."

Eva glanced down, then peered up at Vance, "I could help you prove every one, including yourself wrong, Vance."

Sally smiled, "Oh, you know I wouldn't let them eat you dear!" she hugged Hal, and pecked his cheek, "You're like a son to me!" she chuckled.

Hal grinned and hugged her, "Yeah! Sally likes me! Not you guys!"

Vance looked up, "Eva- th- thats nice an' all..."

Sally winked at the other boys, patting Hal's back, "Course!"

Eva held up his hands and moved over to sit next to Vance, "Listen. You're gonna be afraid the rest of your life if you don't face it soon. I can help you. And who knows… You might like it?"

Vance looked at him, "You do this often?"

Eva smiled honestly, "Actually… No. I tend not to hook up with people. They either get offended or afraid." He then leaned closer, "Want to know something I haven't told any one? Not even Sally?"

Vance shifted a but uncomfortably but nodded, "O- okay sure.."

"I don't get laid a lot unless the person is piss face drunk or high or very desperate. And that limits who I can get laid by. Especially in this town." He glanced around, "I haven't had sex in three months."

Vance blinked, "...'least ya've had it at all..."

Eva opened his arms, "I've placed my offer down. All you need to do is accept it. Maybe they'll leave you alone if you finally get it over with?" Eva then stood, hoping Vance would change his mind.

"Evvaaa" he whined, shifting a bit uncomfortably, "If I do ever get laid I wanna love the person.. or at least have dated them for a few weeks!"

Eva chuckled, "Ever see the movie 40-year-old virgin?"

He shook his head, "Nope."

"Dating and Love come with time. How long do you want to wait?" Eva asked, pushing aside the movie thought.

He shrugged, "I dunno..."

"You gotta know, lover. You gotta make your decisions. Weigh your pros and cons. You're just sittin' there, bein' offended by your friends who only want you to come to grips with your sexuality!" Eva said, becoming impassioned as he spoke for effect.

Sally glanced around, "How long have they been talking?" she asked the guys.

"Not too long…" Norton said casually, "Why?"

Vance bit his lip, "Well... what is it you're offering?"

Sally blinked, "…" then moved to the door and peaked out, listening as well.

Eva moved back to sit next to Vance, "This." and kissed him, holding him tight.

Sally covered her mouth and silently shut the door, wide eyed.

Vance squeaked when he touched him but was silenced by the kiss- and he relaxed too.

Norton looked at her, "What happened?" he asked.

"Are they fucking on the couch?" Ricky asked.

"NO! We'd'a heard that!" Peanut said.

"How would you know, virgin?!" Ricky argued to which Peanut responded by sticking out his tongue.

"Shuddup!" she whispered hoarsely, and stood there, thinking, then went over to the sink, "Eva made his move…"

Eva smiled a little, placing a hand to Vance's face before slowly pulling back. "There could be more if you want."

"What he do?" Norton asked.

Vance held his head a little dizzily, "It'll be like that?"

Eva stood and offered his hand, "It'll be better. I promise."

Sally blinked, "They… They were kind of making out. It looked kind of like Vance was a little shocked, but totally lost in it… It was so strange." she muttered.

Vance swallowed and shakily took his hand, "If I say to stop, will you?"

Norton's eyes widened, "No way- really?"

Eva smiled sweetly, "We'll go how ever fast or slow you want." he cooed, pulling Vance to his feet and towards Eva's room.

Sally chuckled at Norton, "Uhhh, yeah. Really."

Vance followed- "O- okay" he nodded,

Norton shivered, "Wow- never EVER expected this!"

"Yeah... I figured Eva would turn Norton and they'd hook up!" Ricky said.

Norton turned to glare at him, "Racist!"

"I am not!" Ricky argued, "I just thought big you was more appealing to a gay guy than little Vance!"

Sally snorted out a laugh and looked to Ricky, "Think. Think really hard about it, Ricky. Eva Catches and Pitches! Think."

Eva shut and locked his door behind him, knowing Sally would keep the guys from disturbing him and Vance.

Sally watched Ricky for a while, wondering if he'd get it.

Ricky blinked, "Huh?" he asked, clueless.

Sally sighed and bowed her head, then looked back at him, "Which sounds more appealing; a tight pussy or one that's a little too loose?"

"Loose." he answered immediately.

She gaped, "Have you EVER been laid?"

Ricky shrugged, "I don't like it when she's all tight and virgin-y. I rather 'em used 'fore." he said.

Norton looked at him, "Creep."

Sally blinked at Ricky, real quiet and wide eyed.

When she finally blinked, she cleared her throat, "Well… Just about EVERY ONE ELSE prefers tighter pussy… You're just… Ew. Now, between Norton and Vance, who would be tighter ended? The large black guy? Or the frail looking white boy?" She had to be blunt at this point. No use in hiding it, "And Eva tends to like paler men."

"Why??" he asked, blinking.

Norton waved his arms over his head, "Can we please add I'm totally straight and not into Eva!"

Sally smacked her forehead, "Why do you like food? Why do you like cars? Who the fuck cares? Christ, Ricky! Eva, like every other fucking man on this planet, except for lil' ol' you, likes what ever holes they're putting their dick in to be tight rather than loose. Enables one to FEEL MORE when having sex! Eva likes his men white because how many fucking black gays do you fucking know other than Eva? I mean, seriously?!" she scoffed, hands in the air.

"It's like explaining why Santa Clause wears fuckin' red!" she muttered, shrugging to herself.

"Cornelius is gay." he said absent-mindedly.

Sally shrieked, "I give up! You're too dense in the head for me, Ricky! Even Johnny woulda got it by now!" she turned and pointed at him, "And that's sayin' something'!"

"Awwww." Peanut sighed, "And here I was thinkin' Eva and Vance's love would bring you together!"

Sally scoffed at Peanut, "I'm not going to argue with you." she grumbled.

She went over to the door and checked, then threw herself against it, "They… They… They went to Eva's room!" she was wide eyed.

Norton's eyes widened, "What?" he asked.

"Fucccckkkk!" Ricky exclaimed in disbelief.

"No duh." Peanut said to him which got him another smack- but from Ricky not Norton.

Sally glanced around, "We should watch a movie… Turn it up so we don't have to hear nuthin'." she said, glancing around.

"What movie?" Hal asked.

She blinked, "What ever movie has explosions and gun fights in it. Either that or lots of loud singing… Think I'm loud? Heh-heh…" she then scurried out finding where Eva stashed his DVD's.