A/N: Okay, I've been reading a lot of Mustang-centric fics in an attempt to be prepared for his next chapter. I just can't seem to get his desperation right. Or, at least in my head it doesn't seem right. Also, there are a lot of Ed-suicide fics in that Mustang-fatherly-role-thing, and I don't know. As crappy as Ed's life has been...it just doesn't seem to be in character. Maybe it's cause I've never felt like that, or don't know that kind of desperation...I've been on the other side, trying to help a friend, but that's different...not saying that those fics were bad or anything. I've read some amazingly written ones, it just seems weird to me. Or, maybe I don't think I can write Mustang because I think he's just so dreamy and can't get passed the fact that Travis' voice is so freaking sexy. I love Ed's character the most, but he's a kid in the series...Mustang is just the right age. Heehee.
Normal is Subjective
Chapter 2
"Ed."
Edward sighed, not even turning around this time. "For the hundredth time, Alphonse," he said, trudging through the sand en route to their newest lead on the Stone; that idea somehow seemed strange to him, but he ignored the feeling, "I'm not hungry, I'm not tired, yes, its a little hot, but stop worrying! I'm fine." Sure, his legs ached a little from this long walk, but that was normal.
"No, brother..."
Something about Al's voice made Ed turn around. Al was afraid. The suit of armor that held his brothers soul was trembling violently, Ed wondered why he hadn't heard the loud metallic clanking before he'd turned around. "What's wrong, Al?"
The tinny voice trembled, "I-I don't know, brother! S-something's wrong. I-I can't move. Everything's flashing to black. Help me!" As if to add emphasis, the suit of armor fell to the ground. "The seal, brother! Something's wrong!"
In an instant Ed had transmuted his automail into a sharp point, nearly severing the index finger of his left hand and knocked the helmet of Al's armor away. He was reaching for the mark of his dried blood in the back of the armor, but he couldn't reach it. Fuck! He was too short! It couldn't end like this! "Hold on, Al!"
"Brother, hel—"
The large arms fell limp and silence echoed through Edward's mind.
No. Ed stared franticly at the no longer animate armor. "Al?" He shook the armor desperately. "Stop, Al. This isn't funny. Alphonse?"
He stared at the blood in the back of the armor. The seal was fine. The seal was whole. What happened?
"It's your fault!" He heard his brother's voice spit. "You killed me, Edward. Why did I ever listen to you? You're not what everyone thinks, you're not a genius. You're a murderer. What did I do to deserve this?!"
"I'm sorry, Al."
"No, you're not," the voice said, matter-of-factly.
Ed wiped around, Alphonse Elric, his human form was standing behind him, staring him down with accusation.
"Al!" He fell to his hands and knees, begging. "I'm sorry, Al. I didn't—"
"Yes, you did. You're a murderer. What did I ever do to make you hate me, Edward? You were my hero, I followed you everywhere. I did everything you ever asked me to do. Why did you kill me?"
"Please, Al. I'm sorry. Please forgive—"
"Forgive you?! How can I ever forgive you?! You just let me die. You tried to blame everything on me! You wanted to bring back mom! You sacrificed my body for that monster! I hate you, Edward Elric!"
Ed was frozen on his hands and knees as Al knelt down in front of him. "Don't worry, brother," Ed noticed that he couldn't feel Al's breath as he spoke, just centimeters from Ed's face. Al's fingers traced Ed's right collarbone to his automail shoulder. Ed heard the latch of the mechanical arm being released and hissed at the pain of it disengaging from the port. The older brother shifted his weight clumsily so as not to fall. Al leaned in, his lips against his brother's ear. "I'll see you in hell."
Al pulled back enough for Ed to stare up at his brother's cold gray-green eyes. "Al, I'm so—" Ed's eyes widened as Alphonse plunged the transmuted blade through Edward's chest.
"Ed!"
Edward sat up quickly from his bed, looking around his room frantically. He was still in Mustang's study. Al was kneeling next to Ed's side, gasping with wide fear-filled eyes.
"Brother?" Alphonse was shaking, covered in sweat. "You were screaming. Are you a-all right?"
He turned away from his younger brother, "Just a nightmare."
"Oh," Alphonse said. "You w-want to talk about it?"
Ed couldn't look at his brother. What if his nightmare was true? Al was too nice a person, he'd never tell Ed that he truly hated his older brother.
Wait, Al had been in his bed, and earlier that same night, he'd struggled to walk more than a foot or two on his own. How had he made it all the way across the room?! "Are you alright, Al?" He whipped back to face his brother. Alphonse was trembling, deathly pale, and covered in sweat. Small hands were clenching the blankets of Ed's bed tightly.
"I was worried about you." The younger boy looked away. "A-all of a sudden I-I felt hot, m-my heart started beating really fast, and I just...all of a sudden I had to just get to you. I don't know how I did it. I just did."
All he took from his brother, and now Al was trying to take care of him? "It was just a nightmare, Alphonse, relax."
Mustang sighed from the doorway. "Let's all go back to sleep."
Ed started, he hadn't noticed the colonel standing there in his pajamas before. Great, he'd woken up Mustang as well.
The colonel was at Al's side helping the boy back to his bed. Edward couldn't even look at Al at the moment. Why was Al so worried about him? Al was hardly walking yet, six weeks after being returned to his human body, and he had still rushed over to Edward's bed at the slightest nightmare? Ed sighed. He couldn't keep worrying his brother. As soon as Al was healed and fine again, Edward would send him back to Risembol. Aunt Pinako and Winry would both be glad to have him. Or wherever else the younger boy wanted to go; Edward's military pay was more than enough to afford anything Al could want.
Alphonse would be able to live his own life, away from Edward. The thought made Ed want to cry, he didn't want Alphonse so far away, but how could he ask the younger boy to stay?
Ed shifted to face his brother's bed. Al was trembling. After-effect of the adrenaline rush, Ed reasoned.
"Goodnight, Al," he said softly, curling into a ball. He couldn't go back to sleep, not after that nightmare. It wasn't as if he'd never dreamed of his brother hating him before, but now...it was just too real.
Alphonse sighed, laughing lightly, "Pleasant dreams, brother."
Sure, Edward thought. He closed his eyes, he'd just rest until Al fell asleep. It'd be much easier to pretend to be asleep now that Alphonse was no longer sitting next to the bed, unable to sleep in an armor body.