What? An upload? After all this time?!
Yup. I am still alive and kicking, surprisingly enough! I bet you thought this day would never come. For those of you reading Call Me, I'm also almost done with that update, so woo! Maybe I can finish it soon-ish (no promises because my brain is being a complete and total shit right now).
BAAAAH THANK YOU FOR THE NICE COMMENTS. I HONESTLY DON'T KNOW WHY YOU LIKE THIS STORY BUT THANK YOU ANYWAYS BECAUSE YOU ARE AMAZING.
Also, it looks like I forgot to put in a break between POVs last chapter. Sorry about that. I'm fixing it right now.
By the way this chapter sucks and I am so sorry for that.
Jake and Dirk were the only ones who didn't take in a troll.
No one really blamed them; after all, Jake was constantly travelling, therefore was never home and had no time for a pet, and while Dirk kept up their apartment (or really, Dirk's apartment—legally Jake didn't have a home yet), he preferred to follow his boyfriend across the globe or go DJing the night away.
Everyone else was told they'd have their trolls readied and delivered in a week.
John took this time to Google the supplies he'd need, and hurried off to go fetch everything. Sopor slime, a funny little contraption called a "recuperacoon," some raw meat (apparently trolls had a taste for meat. It was actually kind of freaky, but John tried not to think on it too hard), a muzzle (oh gosh, he wouldn't really use this, right?), a specially-made collar for trolls that included a remote to shock them with in the case they became too violent, clothes (he didn't know what size to get, so he just grabbed the largest things he could), and lastly, a spare room. The room, of course, he already had covered, but he made sure to buy everything else, even if the muzzle and shock collar made him extremely uncomfortable.
Then again, his new troll buddy would probably need it, as Jade said they'd be violent from abuse, but still. The thought of shocking anything made him feel nauseous. Maybe he wasn't cut out to be an owner yet. Maybe he should call Jade and tell her to cancel the shipping. He could go back to his original plan of a pet fish and no one would think any worse of him.
He shook his head, crouched in his living room next to the bag of pet supplies he'd bought just the other day. No, he wouldn't go back on his word now. He'd already told Jade he'd help her; he wasn't about to chicken out now. She was his friend! And as the friendleader, he was required to always be the bestest palhoncho ever for all of his friends.
There was no backing out now.
Sighing, he stood up and walked, barefoot, into his kitchen to grab some snacks, wrinkling his nose at the package of raw beef sitting in the middle of his fridge. Ugh.
Karkat couldn't see thanks to the stupid damn cloth tied over his eyes, but he could smell the humans everywhere.
They stole his shirt away and bound his hands behind his back, forcing him on to his knees with a swift kick to the sensitive skin in the crook of his legs. He fought even though he knew he'd lose, snarling and biting any piece of flesh he could possibly reach, lunging for hands and scratching at anyone who walked up behind him.
The humans were yelling at him and each other, trying to muscle him down, and though he was stronger and angrier than them, they outnumbered him. Even when he fought and won against them, they just called in more and more people to tackle him until he was efficiently dog-piled, hissing and wiggling furiously under the hot bodies keeping him down. He couldn't make out what they were saying with everyone shouting and spewing useless shit at each other, but he didn't much care to hear their verbal garbage anyway.
He howled with all the rage within his body when they pricked his neck, didn't stop until his body grew heavy and his brain lulled, mouth still working to pour curses and growls at the unfortunate, even as he slumped to the floor with a heavy thud.
John was hanging out with Dave in the old Strider apartment (now formally owned by none other than Dave himself) a few days after he went out to buy his new troll's new supplies. They were just sitting around, chilling out with a few bottles of apple juice John was surprised his bro was actually sharing—though he certainly wasn't complaining—lazy with the heat of the day.
He was honestly startled when someone knocked on the door outside, not expecting for Dave to have visitors, and glancing over at the younger Strider, he realized that Dave probably hadn't been expecting anyone either, if the raised brow was any indication.
"Who would be stupid enough to make a trip down into the hottest part of town on the warmest day of the year?" Dave grumbled almost to himself, slamming his half-empty bottle of AJ down on the coffee table and pushing himself off his sagging couch to go get the door. John didn't bother getting up to follow; he just leaned back into his seat and cranned his neck to see around the wall, spying his best buddy at the open door signing something.
Hope Dirk didn't do something that angered his political pals again, he thought idly to himself, though he doubted Dirk would make the same mistake twice. That guy was a genius; there was simply no way he'd slip more than once at anything, much less in life itself.
"Holy shit."
It was the closest to an exclamation from a Strider that John had ever heard. Immediately, his curiosity was peaked, but he still didn't leave the couch. Allow a bro his privacy. Let him wallow in the feels, and when he comes back, give him a pat on the back and ask what crawled up his skinny white butt and made a nest.
But Dave didn't come back. John watched with rapidly increasing understanding as Dave stepped aside and allowed some buff men carrying two huge, covered cages into the apartment, stopping only to ask where Dave wanted them to set the "packages" down. Strider beckoned them into one of the back rooms, and this time John did follow, in awe as the men set the stuff down and handed his buddy a bag.
"What's this?" Dave questioned as John drifted towards one of the cages, fascinated by the sounds of deep snores and loud, sleepy breaths.
"Drugs," one of the men gruffed. "Keeps 'em peaceful. You'll need to give 'em both two shots a day in order to keep them by law, since you got 'em from a fighting ring."
Egbert glanced over to peek at his friend, who was holding a syringe full of a bright green substance between pale fingers. "I have to give them shots? I wasn't told about this. When the hell did that become a thing? How do you even expect me to give this to them? I mean, if I were them, I definitely wouldn't hold still so some hot blonde dude could give me a shot of unidentified green stuff."
The guy shrugged, "It's mandatory. Government people said so. Find a way to give them the drugs twice a day, or have them taken away and put down. Your choice."
Dave and John shared a grimace. Or, well, John grimaced and imagined Dave internally grimacing. Having the trolls taken away to be put down was completely out of the question, even if they turned out to be extremely hard to deal with. First of all, it wasn't right by any means, and secondly, Jade would probably be really upset. And when Jade's not happy, no one's happy.
"Fine. Harley will so owe me for this," Dave said the last part under his breath, shoving the drugs back into the bag and placing them carelessly to the side, allowing them to drop to the carpeted floor with a loud rattling sound. He didn't seem too concerned if anything broke or spilled over, but John poked his head into the bag just to check.
All was well. Nothing broken or spilled yet.
The men filed out, closing the apartment door after them, but John was too busy messing around the cages to notice. He was really interested in seeing what the trolls looked like, never having had one himself, and only ever catching glimpses of them on TV or in pictures on Rose's phone.
"Yo, Egderp," Dave called, tearing his attention away from the louder troll's cage.
"Hmm?"
"Quit messing with the noobies. Let them rest for one frickin' second, will ya? I don't want you to wake them up and make them all hyper active."
"Aw, you just don't want to start cleaning up after them yet, do you?"
"Why would I? Egbert, have you ever known me to have a pet before this? The things I do for the ladies, man. Never say that Dave Strider didn't go over and beyond expectations, and all for the chicks." Dave shook his head, hands sliding into his pockets in a typical cool kid pose.
"Ew! You volunteered so you could date Jade?" John asked, wrinkling his nose.
"Of course not. We're, like, strife partners for life. That would never work in a healthy relationship."
"Yeah, right. Last time I checked, Jade decided she was against striving unless it was to save a life."
"Saves my life."
John rolled his eyes and followed his friend back into the living room, bickering and poking fun at each other the entire way. Though he giggled and teased as cheerfully as possible, his mind was a million miles away. If Dave already had his trolls delivered, then that meant John would receive his soon, right? He assumed they were getting all the trolls from the same place, so he could expect his new little guy in the next day or so, right?
Just thinking about it was making him excited and really, really nervous. What if he screwed up and it ran away? What if it didn't like him? Oh! Or what if they had one of those sweet master-dog relationships where they'd be uncharacteristically loyal to only each other and would be, like, the bestest of pairs? That would be so awesome.
He briefly wondered if those sort of relationships were even possible. Maybe he should ask Jade; she'd probably know. She used to have a really nice dog.
Dave raised his eyebrow at John, sprawled out across the couch across from him, making sure to take up the whole loveseat. "You better chill out, dude. Trolls can smell fear."
"What? No they can't!"
"Sure they can. Don't you remember how Jade told us all to be calm and cool around these things? There was a reason for that. And that reason was because they can sense your fear." Great, he was wearing that typical nonsense-Strider mask that made it incredibly easy to believe anything he said. John's prankster gambit had suffered traumatic damage thanks to that mask.
"You are so full of shit." He grumbled, scowling at the other.
"Nope. I'm one-hundred percent clean. If you don't believe me, go hang around one of those freakish things and internally freak. You'll see what I mean."
Don't fall for it. You know him, John; you know that he likes to mess with your head. Don't let him in, don't do it. There is no way he's telling the truth. Jade or Rose would have told you if trolls could "smell" fear or whatever Dave is suggesting. Nope. No way that he is being honest here.
"Sure, whatever," John replied with a good eye roll. He swiped his phone from the coffee table and began walking to the door, "I'm heading home before you can infect me with your lies. Bye, Dave!"
"So long, Egbert." That son of a biscuit didn't even wave as you left. Jerk.
John muttered profanities about Dave the entire walk home, kicking at pebbles and pouting slightly. He was not going to let Dave trick him again! It was happening!
Despite his words, John was relieved to arrive home and find no indication that his new troll had been dropped off yet. But it wasn't because he was afraid! He just, you know, wasn't entirely mentally prepared yet. Not that he needed to be! It wasn't like he felt like he needed to rearrange everything in his house and hide anything that could constitute as a weapon within easy reach of himself but away from foreign eyes.
Nope, he wasn't anxious in the least. Not even a little.
He was a man. Men weren't scared of anything!